Wanted: A Real Family

by Karen Rose Smith

  “Just as all of us have a story, I guess we all have regrets, too.”

  “I don’t know what I would have done without The Mommy Club. I went to a support group and someone there mentioned it. I started out by helping new moms. I figured if I helped others, I’d get better, and that pretty much happened. I had a purpose in my practice, but The Mommy Club gave me a purpose outside of my practice. I needed that.”

  “So if you do an interview with Jase, you’re wondering how much to say.”

  “Exactly,” Kaitlyn agreed.

  Amy suddenly jumped off the bench and ran to the tall, broad-shouldered man in the red polo shirt and chinos who was walking toward them with a camera hanging around his neck.

  Jase smiled broadly, scooped her up in his arms and spun her in a circle as her balloon bobbed above them both.

  “He’s daddy material,” Kaitlyn suggested with a sly smile.

  Was Jase really daddy material? Was she ready to accept another man into her life when her marriage had seemed to go so wrong?

  Jase’s gaze found hers over Amy’s head. The wine festival faded away. Maybe it was time to explore more than an interview with Jase Cramer.

  Chapter Nine

  Jase approached Sara with Amy, then set the little girl on the ground. Before Amy could blink, he waved his hand in back of her daughter’s ear and pulled out a shiny pink barrette.

  “Look, Mommy! For my hair.”

  “I see. Do you want me to put it in?”

  Her daughter stood still as Sara attached the barrette in the soft strands over Amy’s temple. Kaitlyn offered her hand to Amy. “Why don’t we go to the face-painting booth and see what you’d like?”

  Amy looked up at Sara. “Can I?”

  “Sure, I’ll be right with you.”

  Amy happily trotted off with Kaitlyn, not even throwing a glance over her shoulder.

  “She’s easy to please,” Jase said with a smile.

  “You do a good job of it. Pink barrettes and little girls just go together.”

  An awkward silence ensued and Sara knew she was the one who had to break it. “The festival is great.”

  “Marissa could be an event planner anywhere. I’d better think about giving her a raise or I might lose her.”

  “She feels she owes a lot to you. I don’t think you’ll lose her.”

  “I didn’t do anything but give her a job and a chance. She’s made the most of it.”

  An uncomfortable silence again settled between them and Sara told Jase what she’d decided about living at the cottage. “I haven’t heard anything from the insurance investigator yet so I want to start paying you rent.”

  He gave her a look that said he was about to refuse, but then he kept silent. Finally he said, “If that’s what you feel you have to do.”

  “That’s not the only thing I feel I have to do. I’ve been thinking about the interview you did with me. If you still want to write it up, go ahead. I’m okay with it.”

  His gray gaze was probing. “What changed your mind?”

  “Lots of things. But most of all I realized I don’t want someone else defining me. I want to put out the truth. If that’s not enough, so be it. I have to at least try. And getting word out about The Mommy Club is important. Your article was the first some people even heard about it.”

  “It’s Fawn Grove’s best kept secret. People who give help don’t like to toot their own horn. People who accept help don’t like to admit it.”

  “That makes sense.”

  Sara knew she didn’t want to step away from Jase. She wanted to spend more time with him, to see if he liked being with her and Amy. “I suppose you have to mingle.” She didn’t know what Jase’s duties might be today.

  “I do, but not all the time. What do you have in mind?”

  “I thought we might enjoy the music together, let Amy run around and get really tired, eat ourselves silly.”

  “I can’t think of a better way to spend the afternoon.” The look in his eyes said he meant it.

  As Sara walked side by side with Jase that afternoon, visiting each stand, listening to music, tasting food they all liked to eat, sitting on a bench under a canvas canopy, sampling gourmet ice cream, she and Jase talked about everything. He didn’t seem to mind being interrupted by Amy. He didn’t seem to mind a drip of ice cream on his arm or making time for a four-year-old. Throughout it, he somehow found a way to make Sara feel special, the focus of his attention.

  “There’s one more thing I want you to try,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

  “I’m stuffed,” Sara protested, as Amy curled up beside her, the sun and activity taking its toll.

  “Be right back.”

  When Jase returned, he held a dish of pastries that had been dipped in chocolate.

  Sara groaned. “I won’t fit in my scrubs.”

  He looked her up and down. “You’ll fit in your scrubs just fine. The outside isn’t the best part. The inside has a mixture of mascarpone cheese and peanut butter cream. Carlo’s known for these. Diners go to his restaurant just for the dessert. Come on, open up.”

  Jase was seated on the other side of her now, looking at her with mischief in his eyes. This was a side of him she didn’t see enough of. She opened her mouth and he offered her a bite of the pastry, his gaze never leaving hers. She felt breathless, transported to intimacy only the two of them could share. How was that possible by just looking at him?

  When she took a bite of the pastry, his thumb grazed her lip. She felt a tremor ripple through her, and he must have felt it, too, because his eyes darkened. As he fed her the rest of the pastry, some of the filling escaped onto his thumb. He offered it to her. She took a quick lick, and he pulled his hand away.

  “What do you think?” he asked in a husky voice.

  “I think this pastry is absolutely decadent.”

  “Want another?” he teased.

  “I think you should try one.” She picked one up and fed it to him.

  When he’d finished, he clasped her hand and said in a low voice, “Feeding each other could get us into a lot of trouble.”

  “I don’t think we need to feed each other to get into trouble.”

  “You know what I’d like to do right now, don’t you?”

  “Maybe.”

  She glanced down at her dozing daughter, laid her hand on her head, then brushed her hair to one side.

  Turning her focus back to Jase, she said, “I’ve been thinking about those hot springs.”

  “You have?” he asked blandly, waiting for her to go on.

  “I’d like to visit them with you.”

  After a few heartbeats, he asked, “Do you have a bathing suit?”

  “I picked one up at Thrifty Solutions after our evening with the hose.”

  “How about tomorrow?” he suggested.

  “I’ll have to check with Marissa to see if she can watch Amy. I’ll let you know as soon as I find her.”

  “Why don’t we go find her together? I can carry Amy back to the cottage for you, but then I do have to come back here to the festival.”

  “I understand.”

  Jase had that look in his eyes again, a look that told her their visit to the hot springs could indeed get very hot.

  * * *

  Sara hadn’t known that Raintree kept four-wheelers on the property, but it made sense. Such a vehicle made it easier to get around anyplace on the vineyard. Marissa had come over with Jordan, insisting he could sleep anywhere, and gave her a thumbs-up when Jase pulled up outside.

  Sara had worn a swimsuit under her jeans and T-shirt. After all, she didn’t know how far they’d have to hike to reach the hot springs.

  There was a cooler strapped to the back of the four-whee
ler, and Sara motioned to it before she climbed in. “A picnic?”

  “Cold water to drink is always good when you dunk in hot springs. I also packed baguette slices, fruit and cheese.”

  She climbed in beside him. “How far will we have to hike?”

  “I can get us pretty close. We’ll have to return home before nightfall, though. I know my way back, but I don’t want to take that chance driving it if you’re with me.”

  She found that statement both comforting and scary. “So you’d take a risk if I weren’t with you?”

  “I think we’re talking about more than a trip in the four-wheeler.” He sounded a bit wary.

  “I just know you risked your life before you were injured. I wondered if you’d put yourself in the same danger again.”

  “Uh-oh. Why do I have the feeling this dip into a geothermal pool isn’t going to be all pleasurable?”

  “Isn’t the purpose of tonight to get to know each other better?”

  “Don’t you know me well enough?”

  She didn’t know if she did. How long might it take for her to forget about everything that happened with Conrad? How long might it take for her to be willing to take a risk with Jase?

  They rode through the vineyards with late-June evening scents warmed by the sun drifting by them—wild grasses and sage. After a while, the landscape changed from rolling hills to rockier terrain. This area of the property seemed untouched, pristine in its earthiness. They circled red-brown rocks honed by the weather that had probably been there for centuries.

  The sounds from the four-wheeler made conversation spotty, but when Jase slowed, he said, “I used to come exploring out here. At one point, I thought I might want to be a geologist...along with a magician.”

  He’d obviously had many dreams as a kid. Which ones did he want to come true now? “But you ended up photographing all this instead, right?”

  “I did. It made me curious about tectonic plates, thermal springs, mineral waters. We could probably turn this into a resort if we wanted to, but my dad wanted to keep this area natural. The year before I went to college, we did some work on it. Or rather, he supervised and I worked with some other guys. We dug out the trail that leads to the hot springs pool and sculptured the surrounding area. When we built up the walls around the hot spring, we fashioned steps leading down into it. It’s not quite as primitive as it once was.”

  “Does anyone ever come out here?”

  “Rarely. We have a service maintain it. Actually, when I was finished with my rehab, I drove out here a lot. Soaking in the waters seemed to help. Maybe that’s just a mind game I played, but my muscles would loosen up. Afterward I could stretch them and exercise them better.”

  “I wish you had told me about this while you were in PT.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I definitely would have encouraged you.”

  “Well, you can encourage me now.”

  The look he gave her sent a thrill through her, a thrill that she told herself she was ready for. She did need to live her life and forget about everything that had happened with Conrad. With Amy being looked after, tonight she was free to be a woman, to be herself, to really taste life again and enjoy it.

  They followed a gravel path that had been groomed for the vehicle. Jase pulled up beside an outcropping of rocks that hid the area beyond. She could spot the footpath that circled around the rocks, and her heart began beating really fast.

  After Jase pulled the cooler from the back of the vehicle, he joined her at the path. Handing her a blanket and towels, he said, “We might need these, and you might need a hand over the rocks, so we’re better balanced this way.”

  She wondered what kind of bathing suit he was wearing under his jeans, and how he’d look when he slipped them off. She was thinking about touching his skin, smelling his scent, being close to him. A blanket, towels, swimsuits and water all equaled intimacy.

  After he studied her for a few moments, he said blandly, “This could just be a dip in the hot springs, you know. Relax, Sara. When you have a thought, it flashes like a neon sign in your eyes. I don’t suppose you play poker well.”

  “Is that a compliment or an insult?” She couldn’t tell from Jase’s tone.

  “Definitely a compliment. Remember, I was engaged to a woman who was able to hide too much.”

  Yes, she did remember. More than anything she remembered the pain in his voice when he’d told her about it, the monumental betrayal he’d felt, the sense that he’d hoped for a dream he could never have.

  “You like women who take risks, don’t you?” she asked quietly. He’d been an adventurer at heart and she suspected he’d like that quality in the women he became involved with.

  “I did...once. But now I’m older and wiser,” he joked.

  “Wiser, maybe, but not that old.”

  Jase just smiled one of those enigmatic smiles, then offered her his hand as they started up the path. His grip on hers was firm and masterful. He knew where he was going and probably what he wanted to do. She wouldn’t be a tease, that’s for sure. If they started something, she would finish it.

  The path became narrower. Instead of leading her, however, Jase dropped in back of her. “Just follow the yellow markers,” he said. “If I climb behind you, I can catch you if you fall.”

  Actually, that was a wonderful idea—a man who would catch her if she fell. For the longest time she’d felt alone. Even when she and Conrad were married, she’d felt she had full responsibility for Amy, for her emotional and physical welfare. Since Conrad’s death, the financial burden had been even heavier and she’d worried day and night about giving Amy the life she needed, the life she deserved. She was an independent woman and she wanted to stay independent, no doubt about that. But it would be so nice to feel that she wasn’t alone.

  With the blanket and towels under her arm, Sara made her way without too much difficulty. Suddenly, however, as she was climbing a rock a little higher than the rest, her sneaker slipped. She felt her legs go out from under her. She heard a thunk and then she was suspended in strong, muscular arms that seemed to know how to keep a woman safe.

  She gazed up at Jase and was mesmerized by what she saw in his eyes. It was desire and hunger and an intense passion for life that she’d been drawn to in him from the very beginning.

  But she didn’t want him to know how much. She couldn’t let her guard down completely and still protect herself and Amy.

  Trying to capture her composure once more, she teased, “I suppose that was the cooler that fell?”

  “Everything’s safe in there. I know how to pack.”

  The question on the tip of her tongue was, Am I safe with you? But she couldn’t ask it. Even if she asked it, she didn’t know if she’d believe his answer.

  “I’m always thanking you,” she murmured.

  “And I always tell you, no thanks are necessary. Here, let’s just put you on top of that rock so you don’t have to scramble over it.”

  After he’d set her on a level spot, she anchored the towels and blanket under her arm once more and realized her legs were shaky as she took her next step. Being in Jase’s arms always made her feel that way. But she kept going because she didn’t want him to notice.

  Sara was surprised when she reached a summit and saw the footpath was going to take her down again.

  “It’s not much farther,” Jase told her. “Look down and to your right and you can see the reflection on the water.”

  The sun’s late-day rays caught and danced on a pool about ten feet below.

  “Oh, Jase, this is like some untouched world.”

  “Not so untouched. We’ve put a few solar lights around, smoothed rock where it needed to be smoothed, made the pool safe. I’ve photographed it often at different times of the day, but I don’t make an
y of those photographs public. We don’t want anyone asking, ‘Where is it and how can I get there?’”

  “I can understand that.”

  They descended the elongated, wide rock steps until they stood at the rim of the pool. “How deep is it?” she asked, mesmerized by the bubbling water.

  “About four feet. We have a rock ledge along one side to sit on.”

  “I have a suit on under my jeans.” She didn’t turn to meet his eyes.

  But his voice came from over her right shoulder. “So do I.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her around. “You are going to make eye contact, right?”

  The twinkle in his eyes made her smile. “I suppose that’s the best way to have a conversation.”

  He laughed. “So how do you want to do this? Fruit and cheese now or later?”

  “Later.”

  “Okay. I’ll just grab the bottles of water and lay out the blanket. When we get out, we’ll have someplace to dry off.”

  Jase’s back was to her when Sara lifted off her T-shirt. She was wearing a two-piece suit. Some would call it a bikini but it was definitely more than strings. When she’d found it at Thrifty Solutions, it still had tags on it and she wondered who had donated it. She just knew that someday she wanted to be the one who could donate to Thrifty Solutions, who could help other moms through The Mommy Club. The neon turquoise color of the suit shimmered in the sun and she wondered what Jase would think of her in it.

  He’d turned around by the time she was unfastening her jeans. He made no attempt to avert his eyes, because he obviously enjoyed the sight.

  “You’re making me self-conscious,” she said.

  “I won’t tell you what you’re making me.”

  Heat rushed to her cheeks and she knew that was silly. She wasn’t a teenager in high school, and she’d worn plenty of bathing suits in her lifetime. But tonight... Tonight just seemed different.

  Jase quickly discarded his boots, jeans and shirt, and now she was the one doing the looking...and thinking ahead to a kiss that didn’t end. Jase was wearing board-shorts, plain green that rode low on his hips. The drawstring was tied just below his navel. The scars across his shoulder and along his abdomen were noticeable but they didn’t snag her attention long as her gaze drifted to his powerful thighs, the dark hair on his legs, his very masculine stance.