I Love My Side of the Story

by Sabrina Lacey

  I Love My…

  Side of The Story

  (Amber and Josh)

  By Sabrina Lacey

  Cover Image of “Amber & Johs” © Conrado

  Cover Image of New York © Songquan Deng

  Licensed through Shutterstock.com

  © Sabrina Lacey

  Lacey Publications

  All Right Reserved

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  I LOVE MY SIDE OF THE STORY Description

  When the sex is good, it's part of a relationship. When it's wilted and non-existent, it's everything.

  How it got that way? That depends on who you ask…

  "Amber here. Did Eve ever think of throwing the apple at Adam?

  Because that would have made more sense."

  "Josh here. Amber's got my heart on a string, but I keep yanking it away.

  I'm sure in her mind, I'm the bad guy... but let me tell you what REALLY happened."

  Intended for mature audiences.

  AMBER

  Friday Night

  I push my keys into the lock of our brownstone apartment and turn the knob, juggling two full bags of groceries from Trader Joes that I had to lug from the store to the subway and up four flights of stairs, since the elevator is broken. But it’s okay, though. Really. I’ve got it. I close the door with my hip and sing out, “Honey? Josh? I’m home!”

  “In here, Amber,” he calls back with zero enthusiasm. Wonderful. If I find him sitting in front of the computer again, I just might chuck an apple at his head.

  “I got your favorite hummus from TJ’s,” I call out as I drop my keys in the dish by the door.

  “Need help?”

  “Um…I’ve got it! No problem!”

  “…Okay.”

  Walking past him into the kitchen, I lay the bags down with a thud. They’re so heavy, but I’ve got it. Unloading the contents onto our built-in kitchen island – the separation guide between our kitchen and living room – I look over to Josh. As predicted, he’s on the couch, locked into the brain-sucking-people-separator called The Internet. What is he looking at? I lean forward, even rise on my tiptoes, but I can’t see it from here.

  I open up the photograph-covered fridge and cringe. Everything is out of place – a direct reflection of our relationship. Condiments are on the top shelf rather than in the door. A bread bag is left wide open for air to render it stale and inedible. The lettuce is on the middle shelf. Again.

  With the excitement of meeting Jessica’s surprising new man last Saturday, I hadn’t had the chance to ask her what to do about Josh. The advice she gave me has not been working. I asked him for directions when I knew where to go. I ‘accidentally’ dropped things in front of him – pens, magazines, a steak – while wearing next to nothing, my ass up in the air like a cat’s. Okay, not really a steak but now the idea has occurred to me, I’m entertaining it. But who would clean up the mess? ME. Fuck that.

  Less Than A Year Ago

  “Someone’s going to come in and catch us!” I giggle, tugging away, but Josh strengthens his hold on me and travels his hands down my sides, over my hip and around to my ass to pull me closer as he passionately kisses my neck.

  “You’re killing me in this dress, Amber,” he whispers hoarsely against my ear. “I can be quick, baby. Just let me give it a try.” The heat of his breath warms my overly sensitive earlobes, and tingles sweep down my chest. I feel my nipples harden, pressing rebelliously against my better judgment and the inside of my bra. Marlena’s walk-in closet has never seen this kind of action before. I know because Marlena is into women so even if her lovers attacked her in here, they wouldn’t have what Josh has; a solid eight inches with thickness to match.

  “They’re going to notice we’re gone!” I object, my objections serious. Public sex is not my thing, normally. When we were downstairs with the fifty other people celebrating nothing in particular (a party to have a party), Josh had taken my hand saying he had to show me something. I knew that was code that we were going to go make out, but I never expected he’d try to mount me in the host’s bedroom closet. I brought Marlena a kale and red potato salad. It’s not right to be hidden away screwing in her gorgeous closet while she eats it!

  “The only thing they’d notice is if the wine ran out,” he counters in a low hungry whisper, his fingers pulling up my baby-blue tunic dress. Jess picked it out. She said it brings out my eyes. I’ll have to tell her it brings out my vagina, too. But seriously…it’s adorable, and I don’t want him to wrinkle it. Conversely, at the same time, I also want to see if he’s going to go through with this nonsense. It is kind of hot, I have to admit. We haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other since we started dating.

  He takes my earlobe between his teeth and gives it a little nibble, knowing this drives me crazy. The effect is immediate. All my misgivings and inhibitions fall away, my sense of decency disappearing closely behind. I wrap my arms underneath his and press my breasts into him. He turns his head and kisses me, his desire for me obvious in the warmth emanating behind the zipper of his sexy dark blue jeans.

  Cutting into the hotness is the out-of-place dog paw scratching of Dimitri, Marlena’s Pug. He’s found us and is on the other side of the closet door trying to pretend he’s larger than he is. Oh my God! What if someone comes up here to look for him! I pull away and whisper, my eyes big and terrified. “I’m scared, Josh. What if…”

  Startled by my reaction and the unexpected interruption of sharp well-groomed little nails, Josh looks at me. There’s something behind his eyes that takes my breath away. It’s protection. I’ve never seen a man look at me like that before. He kisses me once. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”

  I believe him. I don’t know why, but all of my soul believes him, so much so that the thought enters my mind for the first time that he might be the one. Something in my gut thinks it’s possible. Wow. Okay. So fuck Dimitri and Marlena and the fifty or so people downstairs. And fuck me. Now. I surrender myself to him. My breath catches as he pushes me against some coats, parting them with our urgency. He pulls up my thigh and I hook my leg around his waist. I reach down and unzip his jeans because I’m too impatient to wait for him to do it. He never wears underwear of any kind so his full cock is in my hand immediately. The second I touch the silky smooth shaft of it and run my hand down its length, he moans his sexy man-moan. His eyes roll back and close. I watch him as he leans into my stroke. I love doing this to him. He weaves his fingers underneath the cotton of my panties and touches me, too.

  “Oh Josh, that feels soooo good,” I purr into his ear.

  “You’re so wet, baby. You get wetter every time.”

  “I’m yours,” I breathe into his mouth and he comes alive into action. He shoves my hand off him, pulls up my other leg and without need or use of his hands, shoves his throbbing cock deeply in me with one talented, mind-blowing push. I gasp into his mouth and his tongue latches onto mine. I press my breasts hard into the muscles of his chest and hold on tight with my arms around him. He uses the wall - the coats, the shirts, the desire - to hold me up as he slides in and out me, his speed growing in time and pressure. I love the way he sounds, the way he smells, the way he feels. Inside of me I’m lit up with an ache that feels like it will nev
er be satisfied.

  Swinging his hips upward and pushing it in as far as he can get, he separates our mouths long enough to whisper, “I’m fucking you and nobody knows. My cock is inside you and I can feel you dripping down it. Do you feel that? Do you feel how hard I am, how hard you make me?”

  I nod, my eyes hooded and sexy as my orgasm builds. “I’m gonna cum, Josh. Are you close?”

  “Fuck yeah I am,” he half-smiles then pushes out his tongue. I grab on and bite it gently, sucking it and pulling it in and out in perfect time with his cock as it pulls in and out of me. I can feel my heart beat between my legs, filled by this man, whole.

  The waterfall of ecstasy breaks inside of me. Panting, moaning into each other, each thrust overturns our sanity until we are spent, lax and elated. He leans against me, mashing me – but I don’t mind. We’re pretty impressed with ourselves. I giggle and hug him.

  “I love you, Amber,” he says quietly into my ear.

  I blink. My mind jumps to attention. Did I just hear what I think I heard? Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I blink again and snap a cerebral photograph of this moment. This photograph will never fade for me; this is the first time Josh has said I love you.

  I feel like I want to cry, I’m so happy. I press my cheek against him and say, “I love you, too, Josh.” I can feel his cheek expand against my cheek so I know he’s smiling. He stays inside me a moment longer so we can hold onto this feeling. When he pulls out of me, it feels like I’ve lost a part of me for a split second. Which I know is ridiculous. He lowers my legs down and stands me on the floor again, my limbs wobbly from more than just fucking. He kisses my grin and laughs.

  “I’ll get you a tissue. Hang on.” Pulling up and zipping his pants, he opens the closet door and side steps the jumping Pug. I correct my panties and my dress and lean down to pet the little beast. Dimitri is super cute. Weird looking, but adorable.

  Josh returns and hands me a tissue, which I fold neatly into a rectangle to tuck into my panties. “Can I officially call you my girlfriend, now?” he asks behind a mischievous smirk, as he watches my undignified act.

  I laugh and cover myself again with the drop of my dress hem, walk to him and touch his chest. “Umm… yes.”

  “Good.” He pulls me tightly to him. I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him until I bust up laughing and can’t stop. He cocks his head to the side, his arms locked around my waist.

  “It’s just, look at us. This is a big moment and we’re in Marlena’s closet!”

  “We have a lot of fun, you and I.” He smiles, but when it changes to a wolf-stare, I push him away.

  “Down turbo. We have to go back to the party.”

  “I could go again,” he says, reaching for my departing hand as I pass him.

  I look back over my shoulder and wink, “Why do you think I love you?”

  Back downstairs

  We join Jess and David by the inactive yet still somehow cozy fireplace. I love her hair pulled up into a funky, messy bun like that, red strands hanging sensually down. She’s wearing a simple black dress, no eye makeup and striking reddish brown lipstick that looks fantastically retro. I have to ask her what shade it is. In addition to being wonderful people, my friends are hot. I’m the ‘cute’ one of the bunch, which is fine. Everyone always calls me cute, and never ever ‘beautiful.’

  But I bet they’ll call me beautiful on my wedding day.

  “Where have you guys been?” Jess asks with suspicion.

  “Yeah, we were about to send the dogs after you,” David says, oblivious.

  Josh laughs, takes my hand and says, “One found us.”

  Their faces reflect their confusion so I deflect quickly with a shrug as I hand-squeeze covertly to Josh; it’s our little secret, dummy. He gets the message, kisses me quickly on the top of my head and changes the subject to the merits of Guinness above all other beers. David enthusiastically gets on board, arguing that Stella Artois isn’t half bad if you don’t want to drink a meal.

  I am not comfortable with everyone knowing our private business. By ‘everyone,’ I mean David. He doesn’t get to have a visual of Josh and I fucking in a closet. That juicy little tidbit is for me and my man to know about, and us alone. Yep, just us… and my girlfriends. And no time like the present. I shoot a look at my bestie telling her it’s time to leave the boys, because someone has details. We excuse ourselves with a white lie that we’re going to look for the host. If we said we were going to look for Nicole, they’d catch on and a convo spurred from curiosity could ignite. This I don’t want.

  We find Nicole on the balcony flirting outrageously with a less than awesome guy. I’ll allow that my bar is raised pretty high when it comes to my girls; you have to be amazing to be worthy of my Nico. (That’s my nickname for her. Jess won’t adopt it because she’s mad I thought of it first, and she’s very competitive with me. I don’t know why, but she is. She won’t admit it, though.)

  “We have to talk to you,” Jess and I say in unison, looking at the dude like it’s time for him to go – so sorry.

  “Uh… I’ll catch up with you later?” the poor guy asks, ignoring my impolitely raised eyebrows. Jess threads her arm through mine to team up. All she needs to do is smile oddly and the deed is done.

  “Have a good night,” Nicole says, much more kindly than either of us. When he leaves, dejected, she turns to me.

  “Amber, that was horrible. Your face screamed, get the fuck out of here, buddy.”

  Jessica agrees, “Seriously, Amber, your face castrated the guy. He can no longer have children.”

  I urgently search through the glass door for him. “Oh no! I don’t want to castrate anybody! Should I apologize? I feel horrible now!” I can’t see him in the crowd. Truth? I’m using this as a reason to look in at Josh.

  Jessica looks over the balcony edge at the city below, stands on her tiptoes, crawls up a bit, and leans over. “Don’t worry about it. He’ll be fine. Guys deal with that all the time.”

  “JESSICA!” Nicole and I cry out, scared.

  She jumps down and laughs. “I wasn’t going to fall over! C’mon! It’s scary…wanna try it?” We both give an emphatic no, with matching expressions of what the fuck.

  “Um…how’s work, Jess?” I ask with meaning, implying her self-sabotaging ways might have something to do with her being tortured every single day. Anything to act out the rage she must be feeling.

  “The Bitch? She’s unbelievable. I’m quitting tomorrow… probably.”

  I can tell she doesn’t mean it. “No, you’re not.”

  Nicole confesses, “I wish you would. I have no idea why you put up with it like you do.”

  With her back to Manhattan and both feet safely planted on the tile floor, thank God, Jess leans against the railing and shrugs. The thought of losing my girlfriends – even the remotest hint of a thought – and I am a wreck.

  Jess frowns and gets quiet. “I don’t know. Do you know what she did to me today?” We both shake our heads. “She flew out of the palatial palace that is her office, and accused me of drinking all her gin!”

  “You hate gin!” Nicole says with a look of duh.

  “I KNOW!” Jess hits herself in the head with the ball of her palm and holds both fists up to the heavens for an answer, because we sure as heck don’t have one. “We don’t all get to be self-employed like Nicole here, so...”

  “Excuse me! Don’t make it sound like it’s easy. It’s far from that.” Nicole waves her hand to change the subject. “Don’t even get me started. I’m at a party.”

  Jess shifts to me, hopefully. “Maybe I could go into Casting?”

  I take a step to her and move stray strands of flowing red hair back into place. They went a little wacko with the breeze. “You’re welcome to join me. I think you’d be a great casting director. You don’t like actors.”

  “Yeah, that would make it tough. I like Josh, though. So they’re not all self-involved narcissists.”

  “Redundant?
” I ask.

  “Perhaps,” she answers with a smile.

  “So, where’d the gin go?” Nicole asks, pulling out a cigarette. Both Jess and I stare at it, open-mouthed.

  Jess quickly tries to distract me with a rapid-fire response. “She drank it!”

  “Why do you hate yourself?”

  “Excuse me?” Nicole asks, stunned.

  I tell her, “You can’t love yourself and smoke those things, Nicole. And I saw you before, looking all distracted. It was because you wanted a cigarette, isn’t it? Tell me you’re not addicted.”

  “I’m not addicted. I just smoke these when I’m out. It’s a social thing. Jessica, can you believe the balls on this girl? What kind of person accuses someone of not loving herself?”

  “The kind who loves you! It’s called a friend. It hurts me to see you lighting up a cancer stick like it’s no big deal. I need you to stay alive, thank you very much.”

  Trying to convince Nicole, Jess offers, “That’s so sweet…?”

  “I’m not feeling the sweetness,” Nicole argues, dryly.

  I cross my arms and look back inside. “Whatever.”

  Jessica sighs. “Well, if we’re going to talk about this, it gets a little harsh to talk about the obvious stuff like cancer, etc.… honest, but harsh – so let’s talk practicality. You know how much those things cost now? You could buy a meal, or a really nice glass of some tasty vino with what you paid for that. Then you’d have better breath, be more relaxed, perhaps even a little tipsy. No harm no foul, and you could find another way to get your dopamine levels up.”

  “Yeah!” I cry out.

  “Like what other way, Amber?” Nicole asks, staring at me defiantly as she lights the cigarette. So rude.