Love Tarot for Beginners

by Jhone Daniels

  If the Lovers card appears with this card, well, then you are really twisting in the wind, and the fate of this relationship is out of your hands.

  Control is a tricky thing. It’s like trying to sit on top of a beach ball while in a swimming pool: sure, you got that baby under water for now, but eventually it’s going to pop up, and you are going down. Why not, instead, gently hold onto that ball as you skim the surface, letting it carry you across the water?

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  You don’t get to know that right now! This is the Tarot’s “Magic 8 Ball” equivalent of “Ask Again Later.” Later, by the way, doesn’t mean in an hour. Be still. Have faith. Let go. This is a card of beneficial outcome, but only if you stop struggling.

  13: DEATH

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Radical change. Rebirth. New phase of life. Endings. Not a card of physical death.

  LOVE READING

  In spite of the less than cheerful nature of the Death card, I want to jump in here right now and tell you that NO, the Death card is not all bad! A lot depends on what else is in the spread!

  Paired with The Lovers or The Two of Cups

  For a single person, this means the end of loneliness!

  Paired with the Wheel of Fortune

  The end of bad luck!

  Paired with The Magician, The Fool, The Five of Cups, The Eight of Cups, The Seven of Swords, The Ten of Swords, The Two of Swords, The Nine of Swords, Okay, Pretty Much All of The Swords

  The end of the unhappy relationship you are trying really hard to make work in spite of the fact that it’s really, deep down, a poor fit.

  “Wait. What?”

  I hear you now!

  “NOOOO! I want this relationship to work out! Why can’t this happen?! I want it! I love them! If I just make myself really, really tiny and don’t take up any space, and just, you know, have no needs at all, for like, ever, then it will all work out!”

  No. It’s not going to happen. And my dear Reader and Querent, you don’t want a different outcome than that, because you have something interesting and new just around the corner. That isn’t a platitude. It is quite literally what the card means, traditionally. (Also, that relationship is BAD and it needs to GO and you deserve BETTER, my friend.)

  And that is the best part about the Death card: in its finality, in its absolute change, comes a promise of new beginnings.

  Just not with Chad. That guy’s a dick.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Here you go! Off on a new adventure! Not with Chad!

  14: TEMPERANCE

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Peace after struggle. Moderation. Simple life. Good choices.

  LOVE READING

  I often say this when I am doing a reading and Temperance shows up: “This is a card you don’t appreciate as a teen, but crave as an adult.” Why? Because it is a card of contentment, peace, plenty, and surviving a tough time and still coming out ahead. That sounds so BORING when you are young… but so, so delicious when you are an adult.

  This is also true for naps.

  There are many people who just don’t feel ALIVE unless their love life is full of drama. They confuse peace with lack of chemistry, and so don’t understand the pleasure of the easy relationship. This is not a card of boredom; this is a card of brunch, naps in hammocks on a Sunday, and good sex. Yay!

  For the sane among us, who understand the value of this, Temperance is a very welcome card indeed. Temperance suggests that things go well, really well, and this is a person with whom you will even enjoy small, pleasant tasks, such as grocery shopping and running errands. You “get” each other, and feel emotionally comfy and safe.

  It’s a great card to see in a future aspect of a reading, as it means that no matter the struggles now, there is peace and happiness to come.

  If health troubles are an aspect of your relationship, this card is a soothing omen of good health being on its way as well, and soon!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Best place for this card! No matter what, it’s going to be okay and you will like the outcome. How cool is that?

  15: THE DEVIL

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Oppression. Addiction. Obsession. Overindulgence. Difficult commitments.

  LOVE READING

  Okay! So, this one is hard to spin into an upside, for sure, but hey! Once again, there are many facets to the Major Arcana, and even The Devil card can have at least an interesting side.

  Here’s an aspect that might be exciting: The Devil is the card of kink! Are you a sexual adventurer? Open minded, as they say? Is your partner as well? GREAT! The Devil card suggests this is going to be an aspect of your romance that will be embraced with gusto.

  Another possible positive is that The Devil symbolizes choices that are heavy, but ultimately positive, like taking on a mortgage or a marriage, in spite of being terrified. You are brave and strong and true!

  But really, it pretty much stops there. The positive definitions above apply ONLY in a spread that is otherwise sunshine, wine, and roses. I mean it. Everything else in the spread needs to be unicorns and kittens.

  If it is a mixed bag of dark and light, take the following cautions to heart: The Devil card shows up in readings where one partner is oppressive to another; is a narcissist; is verbally abusive, cruel or even physically abusive. I truly hope this goes without saying, but if this is the case, put down the cards and go. Don’t read about this anymore. It’s not going to get better. Take care of yourself and immediately get away. You can’t fix this. You can’t make it better.

  This is also the card of addiction and overindulgence. If you are unhappy at home, it is natural to attempt to soothe yourself. Just do it in a wholesome way, and yes, wholesome most certainly includes the occasional martini. Occasional is not three a day.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Nope. Bad. No. Just… no.

  16: THE TOWER

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Upheaval out of your control. Total collapse leading to rebirth. Outside forces affecting you.

  LOVE READING

  Well, the good news is that this is the last of the major bummer cards in the Major Arcana.

  That is pretty much the only good news.

  In a relationship spread, this card almost always means an ending is about to take place. The majority of the time, this is a breakup or a similar disappointment.

  The Tower is a card of upheaval from the external world. You are not creating this, so if you can, take comfort in the fact that it is NOT your fault. This is a card of outside influences wreaking havoc on your relationship in some way: a layoff, a robbery, or an unexpected and painful breakup due to outside pressures. You are not the cause of the pain; you are just the lucky recipient of the poop sandwich.

  Here’s the other small comfort: The Tower card, no matter where it falls in a spread (past, present, or future position), it is always NOW. This reading is one of hours, days, a week or two at most. Whatever is about to happen is going to happen SOON, and the sooner it does, the sooner everyone can grab their brooms and start sweeping.

  Is there ANY upside at all, here? Yes, but I hesitate to mention it, as it is rarely the case: sometimes The Tower is here to knock you on your butt in a good way. For example, you meet someone that is a life-changer and you both are gobsmacked and happy. YES, it happens, but rarely, so put the kettle on and know, deep in your hopeful heart, that it’s most likely going to be a bumpy ride.

  Finally, remember, Tarot speaks in bold and big symbols. Just because The Tower showed up, it doesn’t mean that your entire life will collapse. Not at all. Sometimes it’s a fight that leads to enlightenment and new understanding; sometimes the cat goes missing and you are both sad until you find one another again. It is not always catastrophe. Take heart!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Remember that part about breaking up? This position is when this is most likely. Time to book a massage and drink wine in the tub and Netflix binge for a li
ttle while. Onward and upward, Lover.

  17: THE STAR

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Hope. Great happiness. Love given and love received. Bliss. Peace. Fulfillment.

  LOVE READING

  Well, now we’re talking. The Star is one of the most positive and uplifting cards in the deck. There is no downside, and, in fact, like The Sun, it is considered such a good omen that it softens the effects of any other negative cards in the spread.

  The Star is truly about hope, but it’s also about gentleness, openheartedness, love freely given, and love gratefully received.

  When paired with The Lovers

  It can blind you to the little faults in your partner. That is not a bad thing, as I am not speaking of glaring faults, but possibly traits that might otherwise bother you. These are rose-colored glasses you don’t want to take off, and you shouldn’t! Enjoy!

  When paired with The Tower

  Look for what seems to be a huge loss in the realm of love as an incredible blessing in disguise.

  Paired with The Sun

  True kismet. This is easy, happy romance.

  Paired with The Hierophant

  Look for a romantic proposal soon.

  The Star is a giver, and it is mostly a very feminine energy. There is also a sense of innocence, and a complete lack of hidden agenda. When this card shows up in your spread, you are lucky. What you see is what you get, and what you get is good!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  No matter what it looks like now… keep hope alive. Wish granted!

  18: THE MOON

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Dark feminine/mystery card. Occult magic. Fantasy. Illusion. Anxiety.

  LOVE READING

  Oh, The Moon. The Moon represents both the unknown and the willingness to entertain obsessive imaginings to soothe your worst fears and anxieties.

  In a relationship, it can suggest that you are in a place of fantasy more than reality. You might ignore giant, waving red flags or live only in the future where your beloved finally commits and is emotionally present; is more romantic; suddenly wants sex again after a long, dry spell; or is simply not doing any of the confusing, heartbreaking things they have been doing so far.

  And you! You are not off the hook here! What illusions are you nurturing regarding your own behavior? Have you blamed the other person entirely, not looking at the ways you create pain or distance in the relationship? Time to be gentle and open your eyes. Compassion is key, for both of you. Once you strip away the resentment and blame, you realize that everyone is having a different experience and isn’t seeing what is happening between you in exactly the same way as you are. They might have perfectly good reasons for doing what they are doing that you simply can’t see from your vantage point.

  Unfurrow your brow and open your heart.

  Dangerous place, the Realm of The Moon. When you live there, you live in hope, but be careful. It’s not grounded in reality. I’m not saying there isn’t a potential for a happy outcome, just know that whatever you imagine now might not necessarily be what is actually happening. Time to pay attention to what is really in front of you. You might be surprised.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  A mystery! When this card appears in the outcome position, it means that the outcome is entirely uncertain, and will evolve over time. How frustrating! Hang in there, and be kind to each other in the meantime.

  19: THE SUN

  TRADTIONAL MEANING

  Happiness. Joy. Pleasure. Favorable outcome. Transparency in all dealings. Childlike delight. The shiny light of truth.

  ROMANCE READING

  Glorious Sol! Here is an instance where the meaning of the card doesn’t change much at all in a romance spread, and that’s wonderful, because The Sun, along with The World, are the two most positive cards in the deck.

  There is no downside to The Sun, except for the possibility that it is a flare of light, heat and pleasure that can burn itself out quickly, if not nurtured. This is the super-exciting new romance, the amazing first date, the moment you realize you both really are crazy about each other, but having these other cards appear in the spread can boost the power of this card, and make the outcome a bit more sustained:

  Paired with The Hierophant

  A strong mutual desire that deepens into commitment.

  Paired with The Empress

  For a man, you might have met “The One.” For a couple hoping to conceive, this is particularly fortuitous.

  Paired with The Two of Cups

  A rich and exciting romance. Try not to go too fast.

  Paired with The Magician

  Your clever magnetism wins the heart of your intended.

  Paired with The Ten of Swords

  The pain you feel now will very soon feel like a distant memory.

  Paired with The World

  Yeah. It pretty much doesn’t get better than this. Absolute triumph. Victory is yours! A winner is you!

  Paired with The Devil

  Your fears are unfounded or you quickly recognize the devil in your midst and remove him from your life. Let go, relax, and take good care of yourself.

  Paired with The Seven of Swords

  You will quickly see through any deception and come out on top.

  Paired with The Six of Wands

  Victory after struggle.

  Paired with The Eight of Cups

  You end something unsatisfying to which you once clung and valued highly and, in doing so, find new and great happiness.

  Paired with Temperance

  Entering a period of profound and sustained peace, plenty, and good health.

  Paired with The Lovers

  Great and true love. See a pattern here? Even in a “past” position in a spread, The Sun shines over all the cards in a reading, influencing them in a positive way.

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Ideal. Whatever that might be for you.

  20: JUDGMENT

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Big decision. Clarity with understanding. Leaving a dark time and entering a better phase of life. Choosing to let go of what no longer works. Absolution.

  ROMANCE READING

  The Judgment card is a very welcome card in any Tarot spread, especially as an outcome card. This is a card of promise that, after spending time in confusion, uncertainty, fear, or worry, you come to a fresh understanding that is a welcome comfort, relief, and new lease on life.

  In a troubled relationship, it is a card that speaks of deepening connection, forgiveness, good communication, and “Okay, let’s do this thing!”-thinking.

  This is a card about picking a side and making a choice. Choosing is important. Ambivalent feelings about a relationship are very damaging if they go on too long. If you or your partner have one foot in, and one foot out, it feels like you are playing it safe and protecting yourself or another from hurt, or controlling the flow of the relationship, but it actually is very eroding. It can create the very thing that keeps you fearful in the first place.

  Ambivalence keeps things from deepening, emotionally, and it also stifles the small, comforting, everyday “we are in this together”-feelings and pleasantly conspiratorial experiences that make a relationship feel real, safe, and sturdy enough to stand on. It creates insecurity and neediness even in the most stalwart heart. It kills passion.

  When you aren’t really choosing, nothing grows between you. Untapped potential stops ripening on the vine and starts to whither, instead.

  Judgment is coming down off the fence after much reflection and saying, “Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I am here, and I want you with me.” As scary as that can feel, it creates a safe space, emotionally, to find out a romance’s true potential. This is a great place to be, and this card suggests that you choose and, in turn, are chosen. You forgive and are forgiven. Slate cleaned and moving forward! What you do with that opportunity is up to you!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Clarity after confusion! The c
louds part! You choose to go forward or you choose to leave, but, in the act of choosing, you find happiness and peace.

  21: THE WORLD

  TRADITIONAL MEANING

  Ending of one phase to begin a new, brilliant life. Absolute fulfillment. Happiness.

  LOVE READING

  Oh, The World! How I love The World! It is, most simply, the best card in the deck.

  What’s fun about The World is that, while there are a number of cards that are very upbeat and happy and about good things coming (The Sun, The Star, The Nine of Cups, The Aces of every suit), The World brings with its promise of great satisfaction an added layer of deep fulfillment.

  So, it’s happiness that lasts and change that is positive and consistent in its benefits. It is a long stretch of good luck. In a world that is endlessly changing at the drop of a hat, with each day stuffed to the gills with wave after wave of expectations, pressures, overwhelming and often useless “information” from media that batters our brains around like tennis balls, The World says, “Hey, this thing? This experience? You get to keep it for a while. Enjoy.”

  The World is also about achievement. So you pass through a time that was challenging, such as graduate school, a hard internship, a tricky job situation, or a complicated dating situation, and a true and measurable shift occurs, and the results are beautiful. The hard work pays off. Things gently and easily fall into place.

  Good stuff!

  POSSIBLE OUTCOME

  Again, best card in the deck. The World as your outcome card is the most welcome card you could see, regardless of the topic of the reading. It’s the embodiment of “YES!” after a long period of struggle.

  THE WANDS

  Image copyright J. Daniels with elements used with permission.

  ACE OF WANDS

  In traditional definitions of Tarot, the Wands are about creativity, work, and communication.