The Return of the Rebel
Page 16
“That’s easy. I always enjoyed them. And Mike comes from a big family. So we agreed to have at least two babies. Why?”
She could feel her friend’s intent stare while Cleo concentrated on stirring the sweetener into her coffee. “The strange thing is I’ve never really thought about kids...until now.”
“Are you pregnant?”
Cleo’s head jerked up so she could gauge the look on her friend’s face. She was serious. Cleo inwardly groaned. Maybe agreeing to stay and talk wasn’t the best choice. She already had enough problems on her mind.
“No. I’m not pregnant. And don’t even think of wishing it on me. You’ve got the mommy genes. The jury is still out for me.”
Robyn held up her hands all innocentlike. “Sorry, I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”
“Stephie’s adorable, but I’m not ready for that kind of commitment. Is that bad? I mean, I’m only twenty-five. If I don’t want kids now, do you think I’ll never want them?”
Robyn shrugged and sat back in her chair. “I pretty much knew what I wanted early in life, but everyone is different. Do you have to know now? Does this have something to do with Mr. Tall, Dark and Dreamy?”
“He has reason to think he can’t have kids and he doesn’t think it’s fair to tie me down. He thinks that eventually I’ll want them.”
“He could be right.”
“Or he could be wrong.” Cleo sent her friend a pointed stare.
She didn’t want Robyn siding with Jax. She wanted her friend to say his logic was flawed. Because deep inside, her gut was screaming that they belonged together...no matter how her mother felt. And she certainly wasn’t going to let the worry of cancer dictate her future. Life didn’t come with guarantees. If only she could convince Jax of that.
Robyn shrugged and sipped at her coffee. “You said he couldn’t have children. You know that’s different than him not wanting children. Does he want children?”
“I—I don’t know. We never really discussed it.”
“If it’s a matter of him not being able to father a baby, you must realize that in this day and age you have so many options to choose from.”
“You’re right.” Hope bloomed in her chest. “I wish I’d thought of that before.”
Cleo honestly didn’t know if he was interested in having children or not. She’d been so caught off guard by his abrupt turnaround regarding their relationship that her mind hadn’t been able to string two thoughts together much less ask intelligent questions. But Robyn had brought up a valid point and Cleo wasn’t about to let him off the hook until he gave her an honest answer.
She refused to stand by and let him make a unilateral decision about their relationship. He needed to hear her thoughts on the matter. And there was no time to waste. If she had to follow him all the way to New York, she’d do it. This was too important to let the moment slip by. If there was even the slightest possibility they could make this relationship work, she wanted that chance—they deserved it. And she wouldn’t be dissuaded by a truckload of what-ifs.
“I’ve got to go. I have a pocket watch to return.” With the aid of her crutches, she stood. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“I wish I could see this.” Robyn let out an exaggerated sigh. “I miss all of the good parts. Just promise me you’ll fill me in on the details later.”
“Maybe.”
While Robyn sputtered and spurted over her noncommittal answer, Cleo rushed out the door. There were some things that didn’t need to be shared even with her closest friend. She just hoped there would be some special memories created today.
With a quick change into a red-and-white-flowered sundress, she felt more feminine and confident. Nothing like a beautiful outfit to bolster one’s nerves. She tramped the gas as she zipped across town to the Glamour Hotel and Casino. She just hoped she was in time. She knew that Jax had booked his flight for home today, but she had no idea when it would depart. If she had to, she’d track him down at the airport and buy a plane ticket if that’s what it took. They weren’t finished talking. Not by a long shot.
She hustled up to his bungalow. Ignoring the Do Not Disturb sign, she knocked. When he didn’t answer right away, she pounded harder on the door.
The door swung open. “What’s all the racket about?”
Jax stood in the doorway. His hair was rumpled. His torso was bare, revealing his rock-solid abs. And his khaki shorts were wrinkled and hung low as if he hadn’t been eating. She didn’t have to ask. She could see he wasn’t any happier with this separation than she was.
She drew her gaze back to his unshaven face. “You’ve had your say, now I’m going to have mine.”
“Don’t, Cleo. Everything has been said.” He started to shut the door in her face.
She moved quickly, angling her crutch in the way. “What gives you the right to speak for me? And to make up my mind for me?”
She pushed him aside and entered the bungalow, which looked as if it hadn’t been visited by housekeeping in days. Clothes were strewn about. Pillows and blankets littered the couch. And through all of the mess, she didn’t see any signs of food. This whole mess was so unlike the clean-up-after-himself Jax who she’d been living with for the past month.
She turned to him, finding that he’d closed the door, giving them some privacy. “I’ve had time to think things over and you’re wrong.”
His brows drew together into a dark line. “I’m not wrong. You just want to believe the impossible.”
“What’s impossible? Us being together?” When he nodded, she rushed on, “I disagree.”
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Cleo, you’re just making this harder on both of us.”
“Good. It should be hard to walk away from someone you care about, especially when you’re doing it for all of the wrong reasons.”
“I’m doing what is best for you.”
“But see, I don’t want you deciding what’s best for me. I already went through that back in Hope Springs. It was why I left. And now you’re trying to do the same thing. It’s time people listen to me and respect my feelings.”
“I’ve always respected you and your feelings.”
At last, she felt as though she was making some progress. “Then it’s time you stop talking and listen to what I have to say.”
“Can I at least put on a shirt?”
She nodded. But that was all she was going to wait around for. This needed to be said before she burst. Because she wasn’t going anywhere until he heard her out about everything. Including the part she’d been too afraid to come straight out and say before now—she loved him.
* * *
Jax needed a moment to gather his thoughts.
In reality, he needed to back away before he pulled Cleo into his arms and kissed her into silence. Secretly he’d been wishing she’d show up, but logic told him that this talk would not end happily—for either of them. Why couldn’t she have just left things alone?
He walked over to the couch and grabbed his discarded T-shirt. He’d spent the past couple of days doing nothing but trying to forget the fun and the laughter when he was around Cleo. She was his sunshine and without her, life was like a blustery gray day. But he couldn’t be greedy. Her happiness was more important to him. He’d forgotten that for a moment, but he wouldn’t forget it again. He just had to make her understand that she was setting her sights on the wrong man...no matter how touched he was that she chose him.
Taking a deep breath in and slowly blowing it out, he turned. “Okay, I’m listening. But I don’t have long. I have some packing to do before I head to the airport.”
Cleo’s gaze slowly surveyed the room before cocking an eyebrow at him.
“Like I said, I have things to do before heading to the airport.” He wasn’t about to admit to her that he’d bee
n so miserable since he walked away from her that he hadn’t wanted to be disturbed by anyone, including housekeeping.
“Then you won’t want to forget to pack this.” She withdrew the pocket watch from her purse and placed it in his hand, wrapping his fingers around it.
“I can’t take this. It belonged to your grandfather.”
“And he wanted you to have it. He wouldn’t have gone out of his way to help you if you hadn’t come to mean a great deal to him. His son was busy with his own family. And my grandmother was gone. I was too young then to understand how lonely he must have been. So you filled in that gaping hole and I’m sure he took great pleasure in being able to help you.”
Jax’s throat tightened as his hand lowered. He couldn’t believe how Cleo was able to be so positive when it would be so easy for her to hate him for taking what would have been her inheritance money and the pocket watch.
He wasn’t going to continue to argue about it. “I’ll keep it until you or Kurt have children of your own and then you can have it for them.”
“Speaking of children, since when do you get to dictate whether I’ll have any or not?”
He inwardly groaned. She had a stubborn glint in her eyes. She wasn’t going to leave until he convinced her that walking away was the best option. Why did Cleo always have to do things the hard way?
“I saw you the other day with that baby. It was obvious that you’re a natural mother. And don’t even try to tell me again that you don’t want children just because you know that I can’t give you any.”
She pressed her hands to her hips. “You’re right, that was wrong of me.”
At last, he was getting through to her. He wanted to be happy for her that she was seeing reason and was no longer willing to throw her life away on him, but it only made him sadder.
She tilted her chin. “The thing is I don’t know if I want to have children. As of today, I don’t. But tomorrow, who knows. When my biological clock starts to tick, I might totally change my mind.”
“Then you accept that we can’t be together.”
“The thing is I’ve heard you say that you can’t have children, but you’ve never said whether you want them or not.”
“What does that matter?”
She smiled as though she knew something he didn’t. “I had to be reminded that being a parent isn’t a matter of DNA. And there are so many options open to people wanting to give love to a child, from adoption to foster parenting. And if we want a baby, there are sperm banks.”
He was surprised by how much thought she’d put into this after her emotional response the other night. This time he was persuaded to believe she’d really thought this over. She deserved an honest answer.
“Until I spent time with you, I hadn’t given kids any thought. My childhood wasn’t the happiest so I wasn’t inclined to be a family man, but being around you has me rethinking my stance.”
“So then kids are a possibility for you, too.” She smiled up at him as if she’d bested him.
“You’re forgetting one big thing. The cancer. My life is lived one test result to the next.”
“Then maybe you should broaden your horizons and quit living test to test. No one says you have to.”
“But you don’t understand, it could come back.”
“And it might not. It’s kinda like looking at a glass of water. You can either view it as a glass half-full or half-empty. I choose to look at it as half-full.”
He raked his fingers through his hair. “It isn’t fair to put a wife and child through the uncertainty.”
“So you’re saying that my father shouldn’t have married my mother and that my brothers and I were a big mistake.”
“Of course not. That’s not the same thing.”
“Why isn’t it? My father died young. My younger brothers were still in school. We all still needed him.” She stepped up to Jax and looked him in the eyes. “Life doesn’t come with guarantees.”
“But—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “I’d rather live a month or a year with you in my life than fifty years alone. You’ve been in my heart since I was a teenager.”
He took her hand in his. “But your mother...”
“Will have to get used to the idea that you and I belong together.”
“And you’re absolutely certain that you want me, flaws and all.”
Her eyes lit up and she nodded vigorously. “I’m absolutely certain. But I do have one question.”
His chest tightened. He wasn’t sure he was ready for any more proclamations. His mind was still trying to process everything she’d said. “What is it?”
“I love you. And I need to know if you feel the same for me.”
Now this part was easy.
He’d been so busy trying to hide his feelings from both of them that he just now realized he’d never spoken the words of his heart.
He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her close. With his other hand, he brushed back her hair and looked into her mesmerizing green eyes—eyes he could see his whole future in.
“I can’t honestly tell you when I first started to fall in love with you. There are too many moments to choose from. But I’ve been having a heck of a time trying to figure out how to go on without you.”
“And now you won’t have to.”
“You’re certain this is what you want—that I am what you want?”
“Most definitely.”
He lifted her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. He couldn’t imagine how he’d ever gotten lucky enough to have this ray of sunshine in his life, but he planned to do everything he could so she never ever regretted her decision.
EPILOGUE
One year later...
JAX WAS CERTAIN he’d never tire of staring at his beautiful wife. He was so glad that she hadn’t given up on him and had made him see things her way—the way they should be. Together.
Cleo sent him a hesitant look. “Are you sure about this?”
He nodded and smiled, hoping to ease her worries. Over the past year they’d learned to rely on each other during moments of uncertainty. And in return, she’d gotten him to appreciate each day and to stop fretting about tomorrow. Whatever came their way, they’d face together.
“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” He pulled on a blue T-shirt. “Your mother loves you and she’ll want whatever will make you the happiest. After all, Kurt finally came around to the idea of us as a couple.”
She smiled at him, filling his chest with a warm, familiar sensation. “I can’t believe you convinced him to be your best man.”
“You do know I had to swear on my life to keep you happy, don’t you?”
She leaned over to him, her lips almost touching his. The breath in his throat hitched. It didn’t matter how many times she kissed him, it would never lose its excitement. Her mouth pressed to his and he pulled her close, but all too soon she was backing away.
“Now, was making that promise to my brother such a hardship?”
“Um...not when you put it that way.” He grinned at her. “Now why don’t you come back over here?”
“I have to get ready.” Cleo struggled to fasten her necklace. “I just don’t understand why we have to tell my mother about our plans. Can’t we just tell her we’re going on vacation?”
“Because we’re all working on building a strong, open relationship.” He stepped up and helped her with the clasp. “After all, she loves you enough to give me a chance, right?”
With a shrug, Cleo said, “I guess.”
“Then you need to give her a chance and be honest with her.”
Cleo rushed into the walk-in closet of their newly built house in Hope Springs. She returned with a pair of blue stilettos.
He eyed them up suspiciously. Obviously his wife was far more nervous about this talk with her mother than he’d originally thought. “Um, are you sure you want to wear those to the Jubilee?”
She frowned at him before rushing back into the closet. He smiled to himself. Life with Cleo was never boring.
After he’d testified in the money-laundering case, he was hailed as a star by both the press and her family. He’d finished up his work in New York City and returned to Cleo in Las Vegas just as he promised. But after a while they agreed that Vegas didn’t feel like home to either of them. So Cleo tendered her resignation at the Glamour and they bought her grandfather’s ranch from the family, and in the process, they’d put the Sinclair ranch back on solid financial ground.
Cleo slipped on a pair of colorful cowboy boots. “I just don’t think Mom’s going to be happy with our decision. She’s been hinting about grandkids since you and I said ‘I do’ on Valentine’s Day.”
“And she’s just going to have to understand that my wife has dreams to fulfill. By the way, I have our tickets to New York in my jacket pocket. We take off tonight after the festivities.”
“You mean after we tell my mother that we’re going to put off adoption and launch a fashion line instead.”
“Exactly.”
Just then Charlie strolled into the room and rubbed over Jax’s legs. “Hey, boy, where have you been all morning?”
Charlie meowed in response and Jax couldn’t resist kneeling down to scratch behind the cat’s ear. “And don’t worry. While we’re gone, you’re going to the ranch house to visit with your other feline friends.”
“Mom really has become quite the cat lady.” Cleo ran her fingers over her hair, trying to improve on perfection. At least that’s how she looked in his book.
“It’s good for her. Now she has furbabies to fuss over instead of you and your brothers.”
“If only it was that easy. I still don’t think she’s going to take the news well.”
Jax approached his wife and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. “I insist you quit worrying. Where’s that fiery woman who told me what was up when I was foolish enough to try to walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me?”