Wedding Mints and Witnesses

by Kelsey Browning

  Firecracker. Oh, Lil loved the sound of that. If she weren’t in her seventies, she might chant that old “Firecracker, firecracker” cheer and give a high kick to go along with it. Boom boom boom. Unfortunately, at her age, that could put her in traction.

  Lil pointed across the ballroom to a tall gentleman with both a slight spare tire and an apron around his waist. He was in front of a wall of windows overlooking a lush garden. “He’s the caterer.”

  “You sure?”

  “See the way he’s watching everyone do all the hard work and adjusting small things?” Lil took a tiny gold compact mirror out of her purse and pretended to fix her makeup, trying to look inconspicuous.

  “Yep.”

  “That means he’s the boss.”

  “Does he look familiar?” Abby Ruth asked Stella.

  “I don’t think so.”

  And he definitely didn’t match Stella’s description of a red-headed possum boy. “Why don’t we stroll around the perimeter on our way to talk with the caterer? Stella might recognize someone.”

  Abby Ruth was staring at the catering staff with an intensity that said she wouldn’t be beyond yanking them to the side and giving them a good frisk.

  “Stop,” Lil said in a low voice. “You’re scaring people. They probably think you’re the Health Department or something.”

  “She’s right,” Maggie said. “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

  “Never understood that saying,” Abby Ruth muttered. “Why would anyone want to catch flies in the first place? A fly ball maybe.”

  “I’m sorry.” Stella lifted her hands palms up. “But I haven’t seen a single person I recognize.”

  Lil slid a quick look toward Abby Ruth, who gave her a sharp head shake. She still didn’t want to think her friend could be mistaken. So be it.

  When they made it to the other side of the room, the caterer was fussing with the placement of parsley on a fruit plate. “Your melons look lovely,” Lil said.

  The caterer’s head jerked up, and Abby Ruth made a choking sound.

  “Although I much prefer the fatter, juicier Jubilee grapes, those smaller ones are sweet.”

  “Is there a reason you’re critiquing my fruit?” The man frowned and took a step away from the table.

  “Forgive me.” Lil extended her hand and gave him a gracious smile. “I’m Lillian Summer Fairview, from over Summer Shoals way.”

  “Summer what?”

  Oh. Well, that was embarrassing. But rather than lose her starch, Lil simply rolled her shoulders back. “Could you be so kind as to help us with something?”

  He looked over her head, not particularly difficult to do, toward the door Lil assumed the bridal party would be coming through. When his attention returned to her, his eyes went squinty. “Oh, I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to hit the buffet before the rest of the guests arrive. You probably skipped out on the wedding before the vows were finished.”

  As if Lil would ever do something so incredibly rude. Then again, it might not be the smartest thing to admit they’d just strolled in off the street. “Actually, I’m one of the great-aunts on the bride’s side. Before the wedding, she was panicked there wouldn’t be enough staff to handle all the guests. Would you mind letting me look over your list of company servers?”

  “Good one,” Abby Ruth whispered behind her, and Lil’s chest warmed with pride. She was starting to really get this thinking-on-her-feet thing. Prison did that for a woman.

  “Company servers?” He snorted. “No such thing. Most of these kids are college students from Tech or Emory, trying to make money to supplement their tuition.”

  “So they’re temps?” Maggie asked. “No benefits?”

  “If I paid benefits, I wouldn’t be able to afford to import a single grape from Chile.”

  Oh, dear. They would have to come clean. Sort of. Lil sidled closer to the table. “Let me explain what’s really going on. Apparently, there’s been a rash of petty thefts at these weddings.” She nodded toward Stella. “In fact, my sister was a victim recently. Right here in this very venue.”

  The caterer stiffened as if she’d just grabbed hold of the slightly askew tablecloth and pulled all his trays to the floor. “What are you saying? That you think someone in my employ is stealing from little old ladies?”

  “Who’re you calling old?” Abby Ruth growled and pointed to his thinning hair. “I’d be careful of throwing stones because your house sure looks like it’s made of glass. Now, get that stick outta your butt, and tell us what we want to know about your staff.”

  Oh, why hadn’t Lil thought to search Abby Ruth before they walked inside? It wasn’t beyond the woman to tote her Glock around in unexpected places. Her concealed carry permit could be a real menace.

  “Look around you.” With a royal wave of his arm, the caterer gestured toward the crystal chandeliers above their heads and the plush carpet below their feet. “This isn’t exactly the Moose Lodge. People who work weddings like this are carefully screened,” he told them, his poor face turning the color of his grapes.

  “So,” Abby Ruth said, “you’re telling me that you ran a background check on each one of these canapé carriers out here?”

  “They know they’ll lose their jobs if they do anything to make a guest unhappy. I would not tolerate theft because that would most certainly make a guest unhappy.”

  “And you pay your temps so much that they wouldn’t be tempted?”

  Stella grabbed hold of Abby Ruth’s arm. “Let’s just go. We’re obviously upsetting this gentleman.”

  It was true. The vein in the caterer’s right temple had become prominent, and the way it was throbbing was alarming. It wouldn’t do for their key suspect to fall out and die before they could finish questioning him.

  “I think he’s hiding something,” Abby Ruth said.

  From the way his hair was parted from right to left instead of front to back, Lil was pretty sure he might be hiding hair plugs. But bad hair wasn’t exactly a crime. Perhaps a crime against nature, but not against Stella.

  “Do I need to have you removed from the premises?” he threatened.

  Before Abby Ruth could go all Texas Ranger on the guy, Lil waved her friends toward the exit. Then she smiled at the caterer again, reached into her handbag, and retrieved one of her shiny G Team cards. “If you hear of anything unusual happening among your staff—temporary or otherwise—I would appreciate if you would give me a call.”

  With the way he turned his back on her, she had a feeling the only place that business card was going was down the garbage disposal.

  * * *

  Once they were all outside in the parking lot, Stella glanced back at the fancy building. “That wasn’t quite as fun as I’d expected.”

  Yeah, well, it hadn’t been quite as easy as Abby Ruth had expected, but it did remind her each chase brought a special thrill. Stella, on the other hand, did not appear thrilled.

  “Every piece of the puzzle brings us closer to an answer,” Maggie explained. “Don’t worry. We’re good at this investigating stuff. We have a proven track record.”

  Stella chewed on her lip. “I understand that caterer being upset about us thinking his people had something to do with my purse being taken, but he didn’t have to talk down to me. I know what happened. I’m not crazy.”

  “No one called you crazy,” Abby Ruth consoled her.

  “In fact, I’m not the only one who’s had a problem like this. My friend Virginia lost an heirloom necklace when we were at the governor’s daughter’s wedding at the governor’s mansion back in April. Not to mention the time the bride’s ring disappeared at the Cumberland Resort wedding last summer.” Stella hitched her purse up on her shoulder. “Even if they did decide a pesky Muscovy duck was the culprit that time.”

  “A duck?”

  “The poor groom followed that duck around for two days collecting poo but never did recover the rings.”

  “That’s terrible,
” Lil exclaimed, covering her left hand with her right.

  Abby Ruth knew wedding rings were a sensitive subject to Lil. She’d almost lost hers to a pawnshop when she’d been in prison camp. If it hadn’t been for Maggie, they’d be long gone. “You didn’t tell me about these other incidents before.”

  “Virginia’s necklace was definitely lost or stolen at the governor’s,” Stella continued. “It’s possible she lost it while flirting with a handsome young man, but I sincerely doubt it. Too many coincidences if you ask me. Now I’m wondering if it was foul play.”

  “Ducks. Fowl play. I see what you did there.” Maggie chuckled.

  “I wasn’t joking.”

  “Sorry.” Maggie stepped back. “I didn’t mean to make light.”

  “A necklace went missing at the governor’s mansion?” Abby Ruth was even more interested now. “Didn’t they have security?”

  “You know the governor?” Lil closed in on Stella. “I’ve always wanted to meet the governor.”

  Abby Ruth gave Lil a not-right-now look. “What kind of necklace?”

  Stella’s eyes flashed with excitement. “The most beautiful Paraiba tourmaline. It’s a beautiful bluish-green stone. Absolutely stunning, almost neon the way it shines.”

  “Did they have security cameras at the governor’s mansion?”

  “I’m not sure about cameras, but they had security guards. Virginia was working overtime on those good-looking security fellows. She’s such a flirt, but I think she scared them off because those boys were nowhere to be found after she cornered a cute florist man.”

  “The florist?” Good gravy, this purse thing was become more and more complicated, which made the blood pump through Abby Ruth’s body in a way that reminded her she was alive and able to kick bad-guy butt.

  “Yes, the florist. And no, Lil, I don’t actually know the governor.”

  “I still can’t believe you crashed the governor’s daughter’s wedding,” Maggie mused.

  “Best hors d’oeuvres and champagne in the state.” Stella smiled wide. “He got my vote after throwing that kind of a party.”

  “I’m starving.” Maggie’s stomach let out a teensy growl. “What did they serve at the reception? I love shrimp puffs.”

  “Me too! They served those and oysters on the half-shell. Come to think of it, maybe that’s what had Virginia in overdrive that night. Oh, and mini lobster tacos. Have you ever heard of such a thing? They were delicious.”

  Maggie moaned. “Not your low-budget tea sandwich party.”

  “It was just like on the Food Network. They even had maple bourbon candied bacon.”

  “Bourbon? If you like bourbon then you have to try my special tea,” Maggie said.

  “I can’t wait. Now that I’ve rung the bell, I plan to partake in a few drinks now and again. Did I mention miniature gourmet barbecue bites with beer shots and salted caramel doughnuts with gold leaf on them? I couldn’t drink the beer shots, but boy, those doughnuts were delicious.”

  Abby Ruth muscled her way between the two women. “Could we take a commercial break here for a minute?”

  Maggie mouthed sorry.

  “Do you think we could talk to your wedding-crasher friends?” Abby Ruth asked.

  “No.” Stella spun toward her. “Absolutely not. We’re sworn to secrecy. They’d kill me if they knew I’d told anyone about our outings, because they’re pillars of society.” She covered her face with her hands. “Why did I ever mention any of this?”

  Maggie placed a gentle hand on Stella’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with us.”

  “Like hell it is,” Abby Ruth said. “Listen here, Stella. You tell those girls to suck it up. We need answers.” When Stella took a step back, Abby Ruth quickly amended her words. “Just kidding. Now let’s lighten up and get our heads right about this. This may not only be about you and your purse.”

  “My goodness.” Stella blinked. “Why didn’t I put that together?”

  “Because we’re professionals.” Abby Ruth wrapped an arm around Stella’s shoulders. “Maybe we could meet with your friend Virginia and bring up the missing necklace in casual conversation. Not even mention the wedding.”

  “I can’t break her trust.” Stella lowered her head.

  “Or maybe you could get the information for us.” With a casual movement that mimicked her tone, she waved everyone toward the truck, careful not to pin Stella with a probing look. “We can tell you what to ask about the necklace incident.”

  “I guess I could see what I can find out.”

  “Great,” Abby Ruth said, but sometimes she wished she was a badge-carrying investigator so she could wield more power and push people to do what she wanted. Because the truth was she had a feeling that dastardly duck could’ve been the fall guy for the crime. Or heck, maybe a whole string of wedding-related crimes.

  Her palms dampened at the thought of a bigger case. Now this was the kind of problem that deserved their attention.

  If Stella wasn’t willing to give up the goods on her wedding-crasher friends, then Abby Ruth needed to find another way to wiggle her way into the wedding world.

  The answer was suddenly so obvious that she laughed aloud. Wedding? Her daughter was smack-dab in the middle of that world right now. Or she would be once Abby Ruth convinced her that hitting the justice of the peace wasn’t a good idea. That it would absolutely break her mother’s heart.

  Two birds. One stone. With Jenny’s wedding less than three weeks away, the timing couldn’t be more perfect.

  Meanwhile, Abby Ruth would stick close to Stella. That was the best way to get intel on the next wedding her friend decided to crash.

  Chapter Seven

  The next day, Abby Ruth stood on the front porch of a beautiful old church with Ritter at her side. The former house of worship had been converted to a family home, her daughter’s and Teague’s home. She sucked in a deep breath, readying herself to play the role of a lifetime. Guilt-inducing momma.

  For today, Abby Ruth had settled on her normal jeans and boots, but hopefully she’d softened the effect by wearing a silk blouse with a draped neckline and bell sleeves that Sera had brought her back from her last trip to California.

  She’d thought about putting on a skirt, but Maggie had wisely pointed out that she didn’t own one. And if Abby Ruth had tried to wear one of Lil’s, it would’ve been so short that she’d look like she was auditioning for a job at Gary’s Gallery of Girls strip club.

  Jenny had borrowed one of Lil’s suits when Teague was running for sheriff, trying to make them into some modern day Jackie and JFK. Abby Ruth was pretty sure the only thing that had accomplished was a hot time between the sheets for the young couple.

  Ah, to be in love.

  And why did her thoughts go directly to Red?

  She didn’t want to believe she was still in love with him, but her own heart seemed to be turning on her, calling her a liar.

  Red had hinted a few times over the past few months that he’d be more than happy for her to take his equipment out of the bag any time she liked.

  Normally, she liked a good roll in the hay as well as the next gal. But she sure hadn’t felt very sexy lately. Radiation and chemo would do that.

  Maybe it was time to consider moving past the friendship stage they’d been stuck in while she was sick. Then again, she couldn’t see doing that until Jenny knew the truth.

  But that wasn’t the reason she was here this morning.

  She knocked on the castle-size double doors, and what sounded like a herd of wild bison thundered on the other side. “I’ll get it,” Grayson hollered.

  Panting, he pulled open the door with Bowzer by his side. Both boy and dog had either been playing in the dirt or eating chocolate pudding. Her stomach growled. She hoped it was pudding. As tempted as she was to swipe a finger over Grayson’s cheek and find out, she thought better of it.

  But Ritter gave Grayson’s cheek a big lick then ducked when Bowzer came careeni
ng across the threshold toward him. The puppy chased Ritter around the yard. He’d probably cause the old dog to have a heart attack. For a fleeting moment, she felt bad for thinking about Ritter’s end-of-life stipend. In a quick sprint, he turned the game back on Bowzer, sending the puppy in a somersault, head over tail, toward the backyard. No, Ritter wasn’t even close to dying. For the first time ever, that dog looked as if he had enough energy to fetch, run, and track.

  Grayson hugged his belly in a fit of giggles as he watched the dogs.

  “Whatcha up to today, sport?” Abby Ruth ruffled his hair.

  Grayson laughed. “Bowzer and me were helping Teague plant roses out back with something mom calls man-ure.”

  Thankful she hadn’t sampled the “pudding” on Grayson’s face now, she said, “Does your mom know you’re in the house with that all over you?”

  “Uh…”

  Bravely, she took him by the shoulders and pulled him outside, then marched him around to the side of the house. Bowzer loped toward them and happily followed along, his tail thumping against her leg hard enough to leave a bruise. Touching as little of her grandson as possible, she led him toward the hose. She spotted Teague pushing a wheelbarrow from the shed. His dark hair gleamed in the sunshine, and although he normally wore a starched khaki sheriff’s uniform and felt cowboy hat, today he was dressed in battered tennis shoes, cargo shorts, and a T-shirt screen-printed with a massive pig eating a barbecue sandwich. Clothing choice aside, her Jenny sure had nabbed herself a handsome man.

  She called out to him, “I found this one in the house.”

  “Grayson,” Teague scolded. “I told you this was a shower-with-the-water-hose day. That means no going in the house until you’ve been hosed off.”

  Grayson gave his soon-to-be dad a salute and took off across the yard, his arms and legs pumping.

  “Sure you want to have another one?” Abby Ruth nodded toward Grayson before she thought better of it. Sometimes she forgot Grayson wasn’t of his blood.

  Teague’s eyes were a touch sad as he watched the boy. “Do you think the baby will change the way I feel about Grayson?”