Zindaginama

by Krishna Sobti

  There was much laughter at this barb.

  Jahandadji said, ‘What you say is perfectly valid, Ilmdinji, but there are many a condition attached to attaining fame in battle. First, you must do something and also catch the eye of your captain in command at the right moment. Second, Allah Ta’ala should also be of a mind to grant you fame. Third, you should be fearless and prepared to take your life in your hands and be ready to be chopped into pieces!’

  Ganda Singh didn’t like it. ‘Jahandad, in the battlefield, one’s life-breath is not tucked away in some purse or wallet. Life is always in one’s hands. For the rest, he who steps forward and tosses it high is the true hero.’

  ‘Badshaho, listen to what Shah Latif has to say,’ said Kashi Shah.

  ‘Sir dhundiyan dhar na lahan

  Dhar dhundiyan siru nahi,

  Hath karayun aandiyun

  Viya kapiji kaahin

  Veh dat je vihaain,

  Je viya se vadhiya.’

  After listening to Shah Latif’s verse, Fateh Aliji said, ‘The language is a little difficult. Kashiram, explain what the words mean.’

  ‘When I search for the head, I cannot find the torso, and when I search for the torso, I cannot find the head. Hands, wrists and fingers have been severed and fallen I know not where! Those who try to walk alongside the young bride going to wed her lord are slain upon that very path!’

  ‘Waah-waah, subhanallah! What a beautiful context of an unmarried lass! Shah Latif, we salute your name!’

  In raptures, Kashi Shah said, ‘Chaudharyji, Shah Latif is not some ordinary soul. He belongs to the same order of Sufi greats as Baba Farid. In his sayings, you will find only diamonds and pure pearls, nothing else; baser metals have no place in them. It was he who famously said:

  ‘Saain surat ain ki,

  Saain surat gaen,

  Saman nukta dur kar,

  Tau ain ki ain.’

  ‘The Lord appears different to one,

  Differently to another.

  Remove this illusion from your eyes,

  To see Him as He is.’

  On his first day of starting school at the madarsa, when Shahji’s son set out with a begging bowl in hand to beg alms from seven houses as per custom, the women gathered around to sing auspicious songs of sagun.

  ‘Congratulations, Shahni, congratulations! Khair sadke, Lali puttar is going to the madarsa.’

  Shahni gazed at her son with brimming eyes and silently thanked the Giver. Rabbji, your mercies.

  Tiny, black thread earrings, a cloth to carry alms tied behind his neck, and kohl-rimmed eyes, little Lali truly looked like the son of a sadhu. As soon as he stepped out of the haveli, he freed his hand and went and stood before Fakira the blacksmith’s house.

  ‘Move on, re, move on.’

  ‘I will first ask for alms from Bebe Karbhari. Come, Rabi behan.’

  ‘Let go, son, let go of Rabeyan’s hand,’ Shahni said.

  ‘No, we will both ask for alms.’

  Chachi came up to him and explained, ‘Puttarji, girls do not beg for alms, if God is kind. They give, they do not take.’

  Lali was adamant. ‘I don’t agree! I will only go with sister Rabi.’

  Shahni called out to her sister-in-law, ‘Bindradayi, if you have any love for him, come and sort him out. If he makes a fuss, he will get it from me.’

  Chhoti Shahni lovingly put a hand on Lali’s head. ‘Ma is right. Son, in matters of ritual and conduct, you don’t keep asking why for everything. It is not a good thing.’

  Lali wouldn’t let go of Rabeyan’s chunni. ‘Rabi behan will go to the madarsa with me, won’t she?’

  ‘She certainly will. Come, now call out to Bebe Karbhari.’

  ‘Bebe, a fakir stands at your door, give alms!’ Little Lali shouted.

  The women bent double with laughter.

  Bebe Karbhari came out carrying her grandson in the crook of her arm. ‘Sadke ri, sadke on Lali Shah! May Rabb grant you long life.’ Bebe put a lump of jaggery into Lali’s cloth. Lali touched Bebe’s feet in pairipauna, then went and stood in front of the house of the goldsmith’s family. ‘Chachi, a saint has come. Put something in his jholi!’

  Veeranwali came out with a fistful of grain, put it into Lali’s cloth, and kissed the child’s forehead. ‘May my Lali son study well and shine.’

  Lali threw a tantrum. ‘Why did Chachi soil my face? Does anyone ever kiss a saint?’

  Veeranwali implored his forgiveness: ‘Puttarji, I made a mistake!’

  The women laughed, making Lali even more upset. Chachi Mehri said, ‘Daughter Rabeyan, make him understand!’

  Rabeyan bent down and spoke into his ear, ‘You are not a real saint. So what if she kissed you?’

  Lali was adamant. ‘If I am not a fakir, then why have I set out to beg?’

  ‘This is a ritual before one starts madarsa. You don’t become a fakir just like that!’

  Lali quickly moved on to the next house and called out in front of a window opening onto the lane, ‘Mother, a saint has come, give something to eat.’

  When no reply came from within, Lali called out to his friend, ‘Jagga oye, tell your Bebe, a fakir has come!’

  Jagga dragged his mother out by the arm. ‘Ma, give Lali some corn. Lali is my friend!’

  ‘I’m giving, re, I’m giving. Khair sadke, may your friendship grow.’ Jagga’s mother brought a fistful of sugar and blessed him, ‘Balihari, qurban ri, my life for my Lali Shah. Fulfil your duty and Khatri dharma, my son. Congratulations, Shahni! Your son is ready for madarsa.’

  ‘Rabi behan, three houses are done. Now let us go to the madarsa.’

  ‘It is a total of seven. Four more to go!’

  Lali quickly freed his hand from Rabeyan’s and ran. ‘I’m off to Bebe Kichhi’s house!’

  The women laughed at him fondly. ‘I say, just look at his antics. He’s one little ball of mischief!’

  Standing on Bebe Kichhi’s doorstep, Lali called out:

  ‘Flour in my sack

  May you never lack

  Fill my sack!’

  Bebe Kichhi understood and called out to her daughter-in-law, ‘Nirlep Kaur, Lali Shah is starting school. Put some sugar and dates into his jholi.’

  Mai Kichhi walked up to the threshold, a hand on her bent waist. She took Lali’s palm and spat on it to ward off evil, and congratulating Shahni, showered blessings on Lali. ‘Mai vari-balihari, our son is going to school. May God grant you illumination, fill you with light.’ Lali bent down and touched Bebe’s feet in such a sweet pairipauna that the women’s breasts surged with love. Rabba, grant such precious times to everyone.

  The house Lali found next was of the Chidas’. ‘A fakir has come, give alms for well-being!’

  All the women and girls of the house, married and unmarried, came out, did sirwarnas of the boy, put lumps of jaggery into his cloth, and blessed him.

  Chachi interjected, ‘Touch their feet, son, do pairipauna. They are your chachis and tais.’

  Lali stubbornly refused. ‘No, I won’t.’

  ‘Why? They are your elders, puttar!’

  ‘They may well be. But why did their middle brother uproot a tree from our field!’

  The women roared with laughter. ‘Lo, here comes our wisest and most fearless Shah! Behna, tell the Shah that even before Lali Shah sits madarsa, he should be given the supervision of the lands!’

  Chhoti Shahni came and thwacked him one on the head. ‘Quiet, you bigmouth! Rabeyan, teach him some sense.’

  Lali turned to go back. ‘Enough, now no more.’

  Rabeyan explained, ‘Two more houses left. Good children don’t fuss.’

  ‘Rabi behan, there are three hearths at the house of Chidas. That makes it three houses, doesn’t it!’

  The women cupped their chins, saying, ‘The wise elder speaks the truth, he does.’

  Lah Bibi came walking down the street in front. Seeing her, Lali chirped, ‘Salaam Ma, my salaam to you.’

 
‘Qurban malla, my life for you, my Lali Shah. So where are you headed for conquest today?’

  Lali replied,

  ‘Ma, Alif, Be and full stop.

  Husband at home, wife at the shop.’

  ‘Wait, Lali Shah, wait, let me talk to your mother. I say, Shahni, I have fallen in love with your son. I am going to marry him. Kyon re, you will marry me, won’t you, Lali?’

  The girls laughed and teased, ‘Answer her, answer now. Madarsa later, Lali Shah’s marriage proposal has arrived first.’

  Lali first looked at Rabeyan, then at his mother, and quickly caught hold of Lah Bibi’s feet.

  ‘What’s this, I say!’

  Lali’s eyes danced with laughter. ‘Now pairipauna is done, Ma, so how can you marry your son?’

  Lah Bibi laughingly blessed him. ‘Just look at this boy! He’s put this old woman under oath by doing a pairipauna. Arey, I will marry you only and no one else!’

  Lali threw a tantrum. ‘No, no, I am going to marry Rabi behan.’

  Rabeyan came and rapped him on the head. ‘Silly talk.’

  Chachi Mehri chuckled. ‘If he will, he will, but why declare it to the world right now!’

  Followed by the crowd, when Lali Shah finally returned home with alms from seven houses, the pandit made him change into fresh clothes, anointed his forehead with a tilak, murmured words of blessing, and said, ‘Go, seek the shelter of your guru’s feet. Become learned. Wise. And prosperous.’

  Shahni put some rupees in a wicker basket containing sugar batashas, a turban and a piece of cloth for Maulvi Saheb. Lali’s satchel hung around his neck, with his writing slate in one hand, ink pot and quill in the other. Chachi lovingly caressed his back. ‘Son, don’t fight with the boys. And never tease or taunt the older boys!’

  ‘I know, Chachi, I know!’

  Panditji said, ‘Lali puttar, go take your father and your uncle’s blessings, and get going for the madarsa.’

  At the haveli, Rabeyan tried to free her hand from his, but Lali wouldn’t let go and dragged her inside. When Lali did pairipauna to both the Shah brothers by turn, Rabeyan put her arm around him and softly said, ‘Go and do pairipauna to Nawab Chacha and Muhammadin Chacha as well.’

  ‘I will say my salaam to them. Tell me, should I do salaam or pairipauna to Nawab Chacha?’

  Panditji was delighted with the little man’s wisdom. ‘Live long, beta, live long!’

  Lali went and caressed Kapila the cow, thwacked the buffalo affectionately and touched and rubbed the horses, murmuring softly to them. ‘Rabeyan behan, I will go to the madarsa on Shahbaz.’

  ‘No, one goes to the madarsa on one’s own feet. Or else one doesn’t learn anything. Come, let us go now.’

  Both brothers kept looking fondly at Lali. Panditji gestured and said, ‘Come, it is getting late, now is the auspicious time for going to the madarsa.’

  Lali bent before him like a grown-up. ‘My pranam to you, Panditji!’

  ‘Live long, earn a good name, be prosperous!’

  ‘Salaam, Nawab Chacha! Salaam, Muhammadin Chacha!’

  Shahji asked his son, ‘Where are your brothers, Gurudas and Kesholal?’

  ‘Ji, they are sitting by the karhai in the kitchen, and eating batashas. Chacha Sahib, worms will certainly worry them in the arse at night.’

  Shahji glared at his son for this tomfoolery. But Kashi Shah was pleased, and held out a rupee. ‘Putraji, this must be presented to Maulviji when you say your salaam to him, understood?’

  ‘Ji, Chacha Sahib, I will do just as you say. Now is it all right, Rabi behan?’

  As he saw both of them leave the haveli, Shahji closed his eyes. Lord knows from which hidden corner of his heart he saw a vision: Rabeyan has returned from the madarsa, and is sitting at the hearth of the haveli. Her head is covered by a dupatta, and the hand reaching for the plate is adorned with a gleaming gold bangle.

  Startled, Shahji opened his eyes.

  Immersed in his own thoughts, Kashi Shah said, ‘Bhraji, Rabeyan has come of age. Tell Aliya to find a good match for her somewhere nearby. How will we bear to send the girl far off?’

  Shahji didn’t respond. Got up and patted Shahbaz. Nawab adroitly put the saddle up, and Shahji rode out of the village. He gazed once in the direction of Aliya’s house, then determinedly turned the horse’s reins in the other direction. Rabb Saiyyan, You are the lord and master of my present. Not I.

  ‘So, Shahji, did the state governor change his tune in the court, or not?’

  ‘Chaudharyji, when the refrain remains the same, how can he change his tune? The same recruitment, the same calls for war funds, and the same declaration of awards and titles.’

  ‘Say what you like, but this time the laat praised our district lavishly. He said the Sarkar is most proud of this city. He heaped praise on our people. He said the people of Gujrat were the first to be recruited in the Hong Kong police. And it was Gujratis who first reached the blue Nile, Awadan and London. If, in foreign lands you encounter a man known for his affability and friendliness, take it that he is either from Jhelum, Gujrat or Siyalkot!’

  Mauladadji was pleased. ‘Waah-waah! What fine things have been said of our people. Their warmth and cordiality are known to the whole world!’

  ‘Chaudharyji, the Suba Laat cited our village and villagers by name as worthy of emulation. He first mentioned Lambardar Baksh Khan of Jandiyala who sent three sons and three nephews to the army. Sarkar considers this praiseworthy. Then he mentioned Sharifan of Mureedki. Having sent all three sons to the war, she works the plough herself.’

  Fateh Aliji said, ‘Kashi Shah, write a letter to the Zila Laat about Lah Bibi too. If it catches the Sarkar’s attention, the family will also receive something. She sees to the ploughing and harvesting of the fields with great courage.’

  ‘I will send it tomorrow itself.’

  ‘Shahji, the news in Jalalpur is that the governor has vented his wrath on the Gujranwalas. The wealthy think they can keep their sons safe, said the Laat, and buy titles from Sarkar in exchange for donations – the Sarkar does not approve of this at all.’

  Chaudhary Fateh Ali had also been present at the royal court. He said, ‘Badshaho, it seems like the laat has made this a routine at court. First heap praise, then extract donations, and then issue threats.’

  Ganda Singh flared up as if the Sarkar were his close relative. ‘It’s not like this war began ages ago that the hukumat is already desperate for money. Actually, the British are one bullying and deceitful race, and always like to keep money in hand.’

  Najiba laughed and said, ‘Khalsaji, in that way the English are like the Khatri-Aroras. Until the Khatri Shah doesn’t turn a rupee into a hundred, he is not content.’

  Shahji said, ‘But the laat bahadur said something else to the people of Wazirabad. He has scolded them saying – You people are still asleep, while one thousand men from Bengal and nine hundred from Punjab have already joined the army.’

  Tufail Singh said, ‘But who will explain to the laat that it is not good to recruit Bengalis!’

  Kashi Shah said, ‘Taya Tufail Singh, you are badmouthing our own people. The revolutionary zeal for freedom started from the brave inquilabis of Bengal after all. They put their lives at stake.’

  ‘Listen to me carefully, Kashirama! Bengalis are used to questioning and arguing – Why this? Why that? Why advance? Why retreat? How much to walk? How much to advance? Give the law in writing. If one keeps arguing law in the battlefield, then forget about victory!’

  Jahandadji nodded. ‘It is true that in the army, no sooner have you asked “Why” than your mouth is shut for good. It is not a matter of courts and cases, is it, where the arguments go on and on? Here it is do or die.’

  Shahji resumed the thread of the previous topic. ‘As the applause ended, the Suba Laat grew tall. He gestured to his officers, and the donations started pouring in. Consider this, maximum amount five lakh rupees and minimum five thousand.’

  Fakira ironed
out a wrinkle. ‘Haan ji, some of this money they will spend on war, some they will digest. After all, they too have families and clans to take care of.

  ‘The zila hakim named many families – Subedar Tikka Khan of Karor. Havildar Fazal Hussain of Sayyad. Nayak Gulab Khan of Mayra Shamas. Sipahi Abdul Karim of Dhonk. Burhan Ali of Kuiyan. Gaibba Khan of Mayra Mor. Lambardar Khudadad Khan of Chakk Amru sent three of his four sons to the front.

  ‘Major Hashim Khan of Siyalkot has recruited a total of one thousand Salahariya Rajputs. Hashim Khan’s jagir is assured now. Shahji, the Sarkar has made one more announcement, that it is going to recruit ten thousand drivers.

  ‘When the laat governor announced the name of the first Victoria Cross recipient, Khudadad Khan, the whole court resounded with zindabad. The whole assembly was charged. A true son of his mother, he lives on in fame.’

  Guruditt Singh said, ‘Badshaho, that is because he got the Queen’s Cross. Otherwise, anyone who dies in battle lives forever. Yes, zindabads and slogans are a matter of destiny, of course.’

  Munshi Ilmdin entered the fray. ‘You must have heard the name of Fakir Suhri, Shah Sahib? It is an old story. When the enemy chopped off his head in battle, that brave warrior took his decapitated head in both hands and stood tall. At once, the enemy ranks were routed!’

  Karm Ilahiji’s thoughts went to his own grandson. ‘Shahji, our Akhiya is brave but not too sharp of brain.’

  ‘May God remain merciful and keep him safe, Chaudharyji, it is bravery one needs in the battlefield. Thinking and planning is for the higher army officers. Otherwise, why lie, the strength and show of our forces displays fine method and strategy.’

  ‘Jahandadji, this you would know better.’

  When Karm Ilahiji saw Ganda Singh nodding to himself with his eyes shut, he said to Jahandadji, ‘Our Joravar Singh reached the village yesterday. Perhaps he’s home to bid farewell having received orders to board ship.’

  Kakku Khan said, ‘No, it is heard that he has come home without leave from the cantonment. It is also heard that the boy has been declared to be on furlough.’