Sophie is lying curled up in a ball sobbing her fucking heart out. I make my way toward her, scooping her up in my arms and I sit down on the bed. She doesn’t make any effort to move to either push me away or take comfort in my arms.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I want to take away her pain.
Pain I know I’ve caused.
I sit rocking her back and forward, offering her comfort in my arms.
“Shh, I’m sorry. So sorry for leaving you.” Still nothing, although her sobbing is now full on crying. I hold her tighter, not wanting to let her go. I just hope and pray that my apology is enough. Sorry has to be enough. “Sophie, please we should talk. I didn’t mean what I said.”
She sniffles and moves slightly in my arms, wiping her tears away. I try to mentally prepare for whatever she decides to throw at me, and God knows, I deserve it. She lifts her head and looks at me. Her eyes tell me what I need to know, she’s hurting. I can see clearly the pain and anguish she is in. I might not have started this today, but I’m not stupid; I do realise that the hurt she is in is all my doing.
“Sophie, I do mean it. I shouldn’t have said that.” I try and hold myself together, because she needs me more than I need her in this moment.
“But you did, and you can’t take it back. It’s what you think. I love you. I love you enough to tell you the one thing that my family didn’t know. And now with Libby’s visit I’m aware they will all know. I’m not sure how I will be able to face them. I can’t believe how this day has turned out.”
“You don’t have to face anyone yet. You need time and Alex needs some time to calm down, which I’m sure Libby will see to.” Her mouth curls a little at each side. She knows that Alex will do anything to keep the peace with Libby and to keep her calm.
“What happened to your eye? We should clean that up.” She runs her thumb under my eye. Her touch is soft and delicate and loving.
“There’s a story to that, but it can be cleaned up later; I want to just sit here with you.”
“I thought there might be. We’ve got time for a story. So tell me what happened. Is Lucy alright?”
“Yeah Lucy is fine, sleeping when I left her.”
“That’s good,” she says with a frown.
“Why?”
“Because she was upset here. I think my crying frightened her.”
I reassure her Lucy is fine and start at the beginning and tell her what’s happened since I left the room earlier. She cries again when I mention the parts involving Alex and Michael. I can feel her whole body shiver against me as I speak of my confrontation with James.
“It’s okay.”
“But you are hurt,” she sobs against my shoulder.
“I’m only hurting because I know I’ve hurt you. I don’t ever want to be the cause of your tears again. I hate myself because I know that most of your pain has been caused by me.” And now my life makes sense to me. I always want Sophie in my life. Sophie is my forever. I just hope I’m hers.
“You can’t guarantee that,” she says looking up at me, through her tear-filled eyes.
“No, I can’t. But I can guarantee my love for you. We have a few issues to sort out and talk through. We both have pasts, and yes I’m still dealing with the ghosts in mine, so why don’t we just battle all our ghosts at the same time? I want you to be a part of my life and Lucy’s, we both love you. Surely you know that?”
“Yes, I know you do. I don’t doubt your feelings for me. But today, with James it’s brought up everything that I had pushed to the back of my mind. I’m scared that it now leaves me feeling vulnerable. I would have told you all about James in my own time. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I could never find the right words.”
“I’m here to help you through this. Always.”
“I want to believe you. I do, but your words hurt me more than James being so cruel. I’ve grown to expect James being the way he is, but I’ve managed to stay out of his way over the years. He’s never wanted this getting out, his family would be just as angry as mine, maybe more so. They see no wrong in their son. I would be the one they blame.”
“Please believe me. I didn’t mean it. You are not to blame. He used you in his games with Alex and he’s to blame for the loss of your baby, causing you stress.” I lean forward and kiss her head, breathing in the smell of her. “I love you, Sophie, with everything I have and more. We will get through this together. Only you decide when and if you want to discuss this. Alex won’t want to be the one to tell your parents; he will leave that up to you. I’m sure of that.”
“No, you’re right about that. He’ll want me to face the music on my own.” She sounds angry as she spits the words out. I’m not going to ask because right now I don’t think she’ll tell me.
“You don’t need to face anything on your own. You have me. You have my heart and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” My voice trails off in a whisper. I lift her chin and press my lips lightly to hers. My kiss is warm and inviting. She responds. I pull away slowly and see a glimmer of hope between us. A small flicker of fire that just needs the right amount of care and attention to turn into a bright burning flame.
I brush my thumb across her wet cheeks, removing the last few falling tears. “I meant it when I said I was sorry, Sophie.”
“Yeah, I know you are. I’ve got enough to think about.” She cuddles back in resting her head on my shoulder. I feel the weight of her body sag against me.
“Are you tired?” I ask her.
“A little, but part of me thinks I should go and speak to Alex. To explain properly; I don’t want him thinking bad of me.”
“He doesn’t think bad of you. Leave Alex until the morning, give him time to let this sink in.”
“I think you mean give Libby time to talk him out of doing anything silly.” We both laugh at her correct assumption.
“Yes, you’re right.”
I lift her and stand her in front of me, turning her away with her back now facing me and unzip her dress. Her skin is perfect. I trail my fingers down her back as the dress drops to the floor. I would love nothing more than to take her to bed and make love to her all night long. To show her exactly what she means to me.
I turn her back in my arms and see the amazingly beautiful girl who has stolen my heart. Her smile is weak; I can see today has taken its toll on her. She needs rest. Pulling the covers down on the bed, she gets in. I know it’s early, but I get the feeling she won’t have an easy night.
“Are you joining me?” she asks, with a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
“I will, but not for what is running through your mind.” I remove my clothes leaving my boxers on. I can see the frown.
“I’m sure I can tempt you.” I’m sure she could, but I just want to hold her close.
Lying down I pull her close, wrapping my arms around her. She snuggles in, resting her head in the crook of my neck, one of her hands rests on my chest the other she tucks under my back. This is perfect.
This is how it’s meant to be.
“Sophie, come home with me?” She lifts her head and our eyes meet. I hope she sees the sincerity behind my words. “Please? Last week and this week have been perfect. I want you with me and Lucy always.”
“Ethan, I have a business here that I’ve been neglecting lately. I’m not sure things will be that easy for me. I have my family as well.”
“If it wasn’t for Lucy’s grandparents, I would stay here with you. But I can’t take her away from them, she is all they have.”
“I know that; I would never ask you to choose.”
“So where does that leave us? I love you and want to spend my days with you.”
“We have time to work things out. We’ve only just admitted how we both feel. Let’s enjoy the rest of the time you are here with me.”
“Okay.” I lean forward and kiss her lips softly. But Sophie doesn’t want soft and gentle. She threads her hands through my hair and her mouth captures mine
. Demanding more than I wanted to give. But this is Sophie, the girl I love and would give the world to, if only she let me. Of course, I am going give her what she wants.
She breaks our kiss first pulling away and slowly moving herself down my body. I moan and I can’t make up my mind if it’s from our lost contact, or because I know what she is about to do next. And what she’s about to do pleases me, greatly.
I feel her fingers trace the waistband of my boxers before she pulls them down, far enough to free me. I want to close my eyes in anticipation, but I’m so turned on I want to watch.
She fists me with one hand and slowly licks my length. Once, twice. I watch as she twirls her tongue over the tip and instantly I grow harder. Then she sucks on me hard, I moan, but still keep my eyes on what she’s doing. It’s watching her, that I catch the slight smirk of her lips. She knows very well the affect she has on me. Turned on, I feel myself grow inside her mouth.
This isn’t what I had in mind when we came to bed, but knowing that we are here and in this position, of course it’s what I want.
She licks and sucks until my breathing becomes ragged. I am close, so close, but this isn’t the position I want to finish in. No, I want to be buried balls deep inside her.
I pull her away from where she is so she is now straddling me and her mouth finds mine. God, I love this girl. I know I’m ready but is she? I reach one hand between her legs, parting her folds. And oh yes, she is more than ready for me to be inside her.
I line myself up and pull her so she slides down my length. We fit so well together. She was made for me, only me. There will never be anyone else for either of us. Of this I’m sure. I still, just enjoying the feeling of her walls contracting around me.
She grinds her hips against me, over and over, and I sense she’s looking for relief for herself. I slide my hand between us and massage her clit.
“God, Ethan . . .”
I feel my need building within me. I want to control it, to slow it down. Because I want to draw out this moment between us. Savour it, after the day we’ve had we both need this, our connection. That lets the other know that nothing can come between us. But she seems in a bit of a hurry and from the expression on her sexy face I know why. Her eyes close and her head hangs back.
I remove my hand from between us and take a firm hold of her hips, guiding her all the way to the finish line that we are both so desperate to cross. I thrust hard against her repeatedly until we both fall apart at the seams. I let go of her hips and she collapses on top of me.
“I fucking love you,” I tell her, placing a soft short kiss on her lips.
“I love you too. I don’t ever want to be apart from you. I know that now. We are meant to be together, and if the only way we can be together is in Scotland, then so be it.” I roll us both over onto our sides, so I can see her face more clearly. I need to know she means it. “Don’t know what my mom will say when I finally tell her. And believe me, I’m in no hurry to mention this to her yet. She’s still getting over the fact that Alex has moved. Although with the twins on the way, I see her spending more time in Scotland than here. They will be her first grandchildren and if I know my mom at all, she will want to spend as much time as she can with them and spoil them.”
“Have I told you I love you?”
“Yeah, just a few times today. Having said that, I don’t think I will ever tire of hearing it. So feel free to say it, often.”
“I’ll be sure to tell you every damn day.” I kiss her.
I text Libby.
Me; Going to breakfast in 5.
Libby; We are just leaving the room. I will keep seats 2???
Me; Yes 2.
“Sophie are you ready yet?” I call through to the bedroom.
“Yip, all done,” she says entering wearing jeans and a jumper. “I’m nervous.” She walks toward me.
“Don’t be. You decide when you want to talk about everything.”
“I want to speak to Alex today. I’m not ready to tell my mom, but I do need to clear the air with Alex.”
“Okay, after breakfast I will spend some time with Libby. I might see if she wants to go for a swim; we could take Lucy.” She stands on her tip toes and kisses me. “What was that for?” I ask.
“To thank you.”
“You never have to thank me. And anyway, it should be me thanking you. Come on, let’s go and see our girl.” I reach out and take her hand and I’m rewarded with a huge smile. I know her smile is because of my choice of words. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but seeing her smile, it means a lot to her.
We walk hand in hand to the main restaurant, where breakfast is being served. I don’t have to look too far to find Libby, I hear my impatient daughter first. Libby is not feeding her fast enough. I look at Sophie and we both smile, understanding. We walk toward them; they are sitting away from other wedding guests. I do notice Sarah and Richard aren’t here or maybe they came for breakfast earlier. No sign of Michael either, maybe he’s choosing to stay out of Alex’s way.
“Can you not feed her any quicker?” I tease Libby. She turns, having not seen us crossing the floor.
“Here she is, all yours,” she says handing me the spoon. I bend and kiss Lucy, having not seen her since yesterday. She babbles and smiles at me, but I know I’m only a distraction for a few precious seconds. Instead of feeding her from the spoon, I pick up a piece of toast and hand her that, it should give us at least five minutes before she cries.
Alex stands, his eyes firmly on Sophie. He reaches out and draws her into his arms. “I’m sorry. You should’ve told me,” he says. She’s trying hard not to cry. I see the tears building in her eyes.
“We can talk after breakfast, just you and me.” He smiles awkwardly.
“So sis, you want to come swimming with me and Lucy?” I ask trying to take the attention from Sophie.
“Yeah, I think I will. It will do me some good.”
Breakfast is relaxed, all things considering. Although I’m sure it’s Lucy that has made that happen. I sense the others don’t want any tension in the air around my girl, which is more than fine with me.
“Everything will be fine,” I tell Sophie as she kisses me.
“I know. I love you,” she whispers, before leaving with Alex.
I turn back to Libby; Lucy is content eating another piece of toast. “So, truthfully how was Alex last night?”
“Put it this way, I’m glad we had Lucy because I don’t think I would’ve been able to talk him out of going after James last night.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yeah, I’ve never seen him so angry. So you and Sophie worked things out?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe I nearly fucked things up.” I hand Lucy her cup of juice because she must be thirsty. “We want to be together, she’s coming home with me,” I blurt out.
“Well, shit. I suppose I saw that coming. But you are going to have to tread carefully with Sarah; she has already spoken about her fears of losing Sophie, only yesterday.”
“We are going to deal with one thing at a time. James first, I want to help her through this, then we will deal with us.”
“I’m glad to see you are taking this serious.”
“Of course I am.”
I WOULD HAVE TO SAY the last few days have been pretty remarkable. We’ve been on our own in Alex’s apartment, since they, as well as Murphy and Joan, all returned home. Sophie and Alex spent a long time on Sunday talking and I know lots of tears were shed. She gave me all the details, which left her upset again. She took the comfort my arms offered, without hesitation.
Sophie had wanted to reach out to James as well, try and clear the air between them but he had already left the hotel. She felt seeing as he set the ball running, she should be the one to finish things once and for all between them. I’m not sure he would have been interested in talking to her. The James I have seen only seems interested in stirring up trouble. Sophie made a joke saying it must run in the family; Emma doesn�
�t seem as bad as her brother though. As yet she hasn’t told her parents of what went on and I’m not sure she ever will.
Sophie and I have spoken at great lengths about what happened between her and James. I tried to reassure her not all guys were the same. Although I think she knows I’m not most guys. She also told me of her fears; she’s scared about becoming pregnant again. That I can understand with what happened, but as I tried to tell her, every pregnancy is different. This conversation led to all manner of thoughts running through my mind. I want Sophie and I to be a family more than anything else, with more kids. I don’t want Lucy to be an only child.
Our relationship has developed over a relatively quick time, but we’ve both agreed to take each day as it comes.
Yesterday was great, it might still be very cold with snow on the ground, but we all wrapped up and went sightseeing. Which included a walk with Lucy in her buggy in the park. We finished off our day with dinner in a nice restaurant. I’ve loved the quality time we’ve spent together as a family. After all, that’s what we are.
Today we are just relaxing around the apartment, before going for dinner with Sarah and Richard. Sophie plans on telling them tonight, that she wants to come home to Scotland with me. She’s dreading telling them, because she has a feeling Sarah isn’t going to take it well. Sophie has also spoken with Alex about her shop and business, to see what they can come up with. She was just going to close the doors and cut her losses, but Alex wants to put a manager in the store. I suppose he is just looking out for his sister. He wants to make sure she has something to come home to, if things don’t work out between us. I know it won’t be as straight forward as I would hope, I know there is bound to be red tape to work through. Sophie does want to keep designing and work on the online side of things. And that she can do anywhere in the world.
I’ve just put Lucy down for a sleep, in the travel cot. Sophie is in the kitchen, although I have no idea what she is doing. I can hear her banging about.
“What is wrong?” I ask her as I enter the kitchen. She is scrubbing the work surface that doesn’t need cleaning.
She's Captured my Love (Captured #4) Page 20
