Hopelessly Devoted to You

by Jill Steeples

  Ruby couldn’t help but smile. Had she ever stood a chance? Part one of Operation Love Me, Love My Dog was complete. It had only taken her a matter of days to lose her heart to a scruffy, adorable mutt. And she knew her heart was in danger of being lost to Finn too.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ruby could work just as well from the boat as she could from the flat. If the weather was fine she would sit on the riverbank in an old garden chair or up on the deck and work on her sketches.

  There was something about being outdoors that stirred her creativity. She worked quickly and confidently, oblivious to everything around her apart from the scene she was trying to replicate on the paper in front of her. When it rained or it was too cold to stay outside she would wander down to the cabin and add in the detail to her drawings while Finn made warming cups of hot chocolate with Roxie snoozing happily by the stove.

  Inevitably if she was working outside she would attract attention from the other boat owners or passing dog-walkers or ramblers who would all stop to talk to her; about the weather or Roxie or the boat or her drawings or any other topic that was of interest that day. She sometimes looked at her watch, not believing how the hours had slipped away from her. On the boat time took on a different, more languorous quality. It made her realise just how much she valued that interaction with other people.

  Stuck at home with only the radio and her computer for company, she’d never had as much motivation or gained as much satisfaction from her work. That was why she’d always enjoyed her stints at the restaurant. It was such a hectic and busy environment and she was always rushed off her feet so it didn’t allow her time to think about anything much; she just had to get on with the job in hand. Most of all though she loved the opportunity it gave her to mix with a wide variety of people that she could never hope to come across at home with only her pencils and paper for company.

  It wasn’t long before she had to break the news to Hugo that she wouldn’t be able to work at the restaurant any more because suddenly she found herself overwhelmed with new commissions that had all, amazingly, come about by the new contacts she’d made down by the river.

  She’d felt guilty about letting Hugo down, especially after he’d been so good to her and supportive when Finn had been in hospital.

  ‘Don’t worry about Hugo,’ Finn had advised her. ‘As long as you give him a couple of weeks’ notice he’ll be fine with it. You know what Hugo’s like—he’s so laid-back. He’ll just be pleased that things are going so well for you.’

  She could hardly believe it herself. After she finished the painting for Bo and Katy, she started on a series of other paintings in a similar vein. She and Finn decided they wanted their own painting of the boat by the riverside and then there were lots of enquiries from the other boat owners too, asking if she’d be prepared to paint their boats as well.

  It was an opportunity she could only have dreamt of a few weeks before. Ever since she’d taken the decision to go freelance, something she’d wanted to do for years, she’d been scrabbling around for work, picking up jobs, mainly corporate work, where she could, but never really finding the calibre of work she’d aspired to. In the space of a few weeks that had all changed. Now she was being asked to paint pictures of beautiful scenes that she felt a natural affinity with and she had an order book that would keep her busy for the foreseeable future.

  As well as that she’d been approached by a woman who’d introduced herself as Fiona, who’d told Ruby she ran an arts and crafts shop on the local high street and she’d be happy to sell her paintings on her behalf for a small commission. It was too good an offer to refuse so Ruby had no other choice than to pack in her job at the restaurant.

  ‘How’s it going?’

  She hadn’t heard Finn come up behind her. He and Roxie had been down to the local shop to buy some milk. His hands on her shoulders felt strong and reassuring. She turned to look up at him and smiled.

  ‘Great. I was just thinking how lucky I am to be doing this.’ She gestured to her work-in-progress on the easel, the paint still wet. ‘All that time I’ve been trying to get the business off the ground and not getting anywhere and then in the space of a few weeks everything’s gone completely mad. It’s hard to believe really. I mean, in what other job would I get the opportunity to sit outside in the warm in such beautiful surroundings doing something I love?’

  His fingertips massaged her shoulders, a warmly satisfied smile on his lips.

  ‘I’m so pleased for you, Rubes. It’s nothing less than you deserve. And I’m so proud of you too. You’re talented and it was about time that talent was recognised. I know how much you’ve enjoyed working at the restaurant, but really your talents were wasted there. Everything seems to be coming right at last.’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said pensively. Her business was taking off at last, but her personal life was still an unresolved mess in her head.

  ‘You know what else I think is great?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘The fact that we’ve been able to spend so much time together. I don’t know about you but I think we’ve grown so much closer these last few weeks. I think I was so wrapped up in work that I didn’t give our relationship nearly enough attention. I won’t make the same mistake again, Rubes, I promise.’

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ said Ruby. ‘You were busy—we both were. Life has a habit of getting in the way at times.’ Her gaze and mind drifted off into the distance.

  Certainly these last few weeks had been intense and heady and different from anything their relationship had represented before the accident. Ruby told herself this was just a phase they were going through. A mellow and enjoyable transient phase that would last only the time it took for Finn to recover and return to work. It couldn’t be much longer now. And then what? Wouldn’t they just fall straight back into their old patterns?

  ‘Fancy a cuppa?’ Finn asked, interrupting her daydreaming. ‘I’ll go and pop the kettle on.’ He tilted his head to one side, tuning into the song currently wafting out from Ruby’s iPod. ‘What’s that you’re listening to?’

  She chuckled, shaking her head at Finn.

  ‘You don’t recognise it, then? It’s James Blunt.’

  ‘No, never heard of him. It’s not bad though, is it?’ he said, nodding his head approvingly in time to the music.

  ‘You have heard of him and you hate James Blunt, Finn. Absolutely hate him.’

  ‘Do I?’ He scrunched up his face as though he was trying to recall the song or the singer, but having no luck. ‘I don’t remember that.’

  ‘Yeah, it was a bit of a standing joke between us. I always had a bit of a thing for James Blunt. I’ve always loved his music and had a bit of a crush on him too. You could never understand it. Said it was populist rubbish. I’d play his music at home, at every opportunity actually, and you would always groan and pull a face. It was one of the few things we would always disagree on.’

  Finn laughed.

  ‘Is that so? We must have disagreed on more than that. I really can’t remember that at all though. It’s funny how some things completely escape me, even now. Yeah, well, I think I might have changed my mind. I really like him now.’

  Ruby returned to her painting while Finn went down to the cabin to make tea. What was going on? Finn suddenly finding a liking for James Blunt. It wasn’t right and she wasn’t sure that she approved. She wanted to hug her love fest for JB all to herself; she certainly didn’t want to share it with Finn.

  And she was reminded of that dammed pros and cons list she’d been putting together. Finn’s dislike of JB had been the only item on the cons list. Did it mean she had no reason at all now not to marry Finn? Wasn’t there one single thing she could add to the cons side?

  Actually, thinking about it now, if she had to compile that list again she knew that there’d be plenty of things she could add under the cons heading. Her perfect boyfriend wasn’t so perfect these days. Not since the accident. And while she couldn’t exactly blame hi
m for that it did mean she had plenty of reasons not to marry him. She just had to think of them. She grabbed her notepad and pencil from beneath her seat and started scribbling.

  He has a weird accent. Not his fault, she knew, but still…

  He is crude. He was always commenting on her tits and arse at totally inappropriate moments.

  He calls me Babe, Baby Girl and Sweet Cheeks. So cringey, even if it did make her smile.

  He leaves the toilet seat up. He never did that BTA— before the accident!

  He’s always late. She could always add on at least half an hour and then some to the time he said he’d be home. Finn was punctual to a fault BTA.

  He’s impatient and grumpy.

  He’s off the booze so I no longer have a drinking partner.

  He’s short-tempered with his mum, which isn’t very nice at all.

  He’s preoccupied with sex. Honestly any time, any place, anywhere was Finn’s new motto. She wasn’t sure if that actually counted as a pro or a con, but it could stay on the con list for the time being.

  He goes off and makes major life decisions like getting a dog without consulting me first.

  He tells me he loves me all the time, which is most distracting and disconcerting when I’m trying to work out what I feel about anything.

  He…

  ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Oh!’

  Finn was back offering her a mug of tea and a plate of chocolate biscuits.

  ‘I was just making a list of all the jobs I need to do.’

  ‘Really?’ Finn laughed. ‘That’s some list you have there.’

  She ripped out the page from her notebook and scrunched the piece of paper up in her hand, putting it in her pocket.

  ‘Oh, I always do that,’ she said, clocking his bemused expression. ‘I don’t need to keep the list. Just writing it down helps to clear it in my mind. It’s all up here now,’ she said, pointing to the side of her head.

  ‘Right. Well, whatever works for you, Rubes.’

  She should be satisfied now, she told herself. She had her pros and cons list and for the first time ever the number of items under the cons list was almost keeping up with pros list. She had the validation that she’d always been looking for that Finn wasn’t right for her after all. Only writing that stupid list had made her more confused than ever.

  ‘Listen, I meant to tell you,’ went on Finn. ‘We’ve got some viewings arranged on the boat. The ad only went online yesterday and already there’s been a lot of interest. I’m sure it won’t take any time at all to sell.’

  ‘Oh, really? That’s good,’ she said, not meaning it at all. It was actually really really bad. She hadn’t realised how bad until just now when she had to confront for the first time that this part of their life would soon be coming to an end.

  She would miss coming here, would miss the boat, and would miss all her new friendly neighbours. Obviously she would still be able to come with all her painting gear and a picnic and set up camp on the towpath, but it wouldn’t be the same by a long chalk. And however much she was going to miss the place she knew Finn would miss it a whole lot more. Still, they’d both known that this time would come and maybe it might just give Finn the motivation to think about going back to work.

  ‘Yeah, it is good,’ he agreed. ‘Bo and Katy will be pleased at least.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  ‘Are you ready?’

  ‘Just coming,’ Ruby said, applying one final coat of lip gloss in the mirror. She smacked her lips together before standing back and giving her reflection the once-over.

  Not bad, not bad at all.

  She was wearing the red silk dress that she’d worn for their engagement party. It had short capped sleeves and a cutaway V-neck that led to a soft ruffle of fabric that ran down the centre of the dress, falling away into the sweeping skirt. The dress skimmed her curves. She looked very different from the girl who spent most of her time in jeans and sweatshirts these days. Healthy too. Working in the outdoors was clearly doing her a power of good.

  Around her neck she wore the gold heart with a diamond in the centre that had been a birthday present from Finn. Her hair was piled high on her head, a few stray tendrils framing her face softly. Her reflection staring back at her struck a poignant chord.

  She looked the same, but she knew she’d changed so much in the one and a half years since their engagement, and even more so in the last few weeks. She wasn’t the same girl who had so eagerly agreed to Finn’s proposal. She liked to think she was stronger, more resilient, more certain who she was and what she wanted from life, but it wasn’t really the case. At least her career was taking off at last in a way she could never have imagined, but her personal life was still a complete mess. On the surface she had it all and yet she still hadn’t resolved the issue of Finn and their forthcoming marriage.

  Still, she couldn’t think about that tonight. She took a deep breath and gave herself a steely ‘you can do this’ look. Tonight was all about Finn and celebrating his success in becoming a partner. She was his girlfriend and she needed to support him in his hour of glory. What came next neither of them could know yet, but suddenly, facing her reflection in the mirror, she realised that their day of reckoning couldn’t be put off much longer.

  ‘Ta-da!’ she said, striking a pose in the living room. ‘Cinderella is ready for the ball.’

  Finn turned to look at her, his gaze taking a slow and languorous route the length of her body.

  ‘Wow!’ They both said it together, their eyes locking in mutual admiration.

  Finn spoke first.

  ‘You look absolutely stunning,’ he said, unable to move his eyes away from her.

  ‘Do you remember this dress, Finn? I wore it to our engagement party.’

  ‘I do,’ he said, nodding his head approvingly. ‘You looked stunning that night, just as you do now, and I can remember how proud I felt in front of all our friends and family knowing that you’d agreed to be my wife.’

  ‘Yes, it was a lovely evening.’

  It had been a heady blur of champagne and canapés, of being congratulated by all their friends and family, of gifts and flowers and balloons, and dancing until the early hours of the morning. It had been a wonderful, joyous evening, but even then she’d felt she’d been playing a part, fulfilling a role that everyone else thought she’d been perfectly cast for. She’d had the feeling that her life was slipping out of her control, but yet was unable to do anything about it.

  Now she couldn’t understand why she had ever felt that way. Why hadn’t she just said something at the time?

  Her heart was racing, that same breathless, out-of-control feeling troubling her now. Whether it was from the reminder of that night and the enormity of the situation she found herself in then, or whether it had more to do with the man standing in front of her now and the disturbing way he was looking at her, she didn’t know.

  It had been a while since she’d seen Finn dressed in a suit. He had the sort of physique, tall and broad and rangy, that leant itself to expensive tailoring. Tonight he looked every inch the lawyer he was: sharp, sophisticated and, oh, so sexy. Only now his hair curled up on his collar, his skin was bronzed from all the hours spent outdoors and a dark shadow of stubble framed his jawline. It was Finn the Lawyer but with a different slant, the changes to the man of a few months ago so subtle she wondered if anyone else would even notice them.

  Gone were the self-assuredness, bristling determination and innate confidence that came with being a man at the absolute top of his game who knew exactly what was expected of him and how he was going to deliver it. In their place, Ruby could sense an edginess that bristled off his suit, but it was mixed with a hesitance and a vulnerability that surprised and touched her in equal measure.

  ‘Come here,’ he said, holding his arms open to her. She walked towards him, allowing herself to be wrapped in his embrace, his scent musky and seductive and all too addictive. He leaned into her neck, kissing th
e bare skin there, the sensation of his lips on her shoulders sending shivers of anticipation along her spine. His hands caressed her arms, before smoothing a path down the outline of her body as though he was committing the curves of her shape to his memory. When his hands brushed the swell of her breasts it sent the already simmering longing in her veins into a full-blown swell of desire.

  ‘No!’ She tapped him lightly on the arm, pulling away from his embrace, laughing. ‘No, no, no,’ she added for good measure just in case he had any other ideas, which she knew for certain he did. ‘We can’t, not now. Look at us! We’re in our best going-out gear. Besides if we don’t get a move on we’ll be late.’

  He smiled, a cavalier smile that told her he wasn’t listening to her words, he was far too intent on what his body was telling him, on what he was about to do.

  He reached up, undoing the clip at the back of her head, her luscious red-tinged hair falling in soft waves around her face. In a similar deft movement he undid the zip at the top of her dress, slipping the soft fabric down over her shoulders so that it fell down the length of her body into a pool of red silk at the floor. He held her hand, inviting her to step out from the dress, his gaze mesmerised by the sight of her body in nothing but her underwear and stilettos now.

  ‘It’ll be fine. We’ll be quick. God, you are so beautiful, Ruby. How the hell am I supposed to resist you?’

  He picked up the dress, gently laying it across the table out of harm’s way.

  She stood proud in front of him, revelling in the power she knew she held over him. The look on his face as he gazed in awe at her near-naked beauty was wholly appreciative, his longing for her palpable, stirring her own desire too. Her nipples strained against the lace of her bra and goose bumps crept along her arms in anticipation of what was to come.

  He pulled her down on the sofa, but she resisted.

  ‘No. Look.’ She pointed to Roxie, who was sitting on the other end of the sofa, far too eager to know what was going on. ‘I can’t. Not with her watching us.’ She giggled. ‘Come on,’ she said, grabbing his tie and leading him off to the bedroom. ‘In here.’