Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set

by Vanessa Miller

  “I’m going to kill you,” he growled.

  Nina saw an opening between two cars in the parking lot and hurriedly crawled in between them. “Isaac, please wait. Listen to me…”

  “You don’t have nothing to say to me.” He grabbed her hair and started dragging her from between the parked cars. Nina held on to one of the tires. “I believe in an eye for an eye Nina. You aborted my baby, you gon’ wish you were aborted.” He took his fist and jabbed it into her arms trying to make her release her hold on the tire.

  The right-to-lifers put their picket signs down and ran over to the scene. A six-foot, 240-pound man grabbed Isaac. Another, who was just as big with bright red hair, put Isaac in a bear hug and moved him away from Nina. “This is not the way, man,” the red head told him.

  “Get off me!” Isaac angrily struggled against them. “She’s getting what she deserves.”

  The woman who had been carrying the “A life is a terrible thing to waste” sign, helped Nina up. Blood dripped from Nina’s lip, her arms were black and blue. There was already a visible bruise on her left cheek. “It’ll be alright, honey. You’re safe now.” Nina put her hands to her face and sobbed. The woman hugged her. “That’s right, go ahead and cry.”

  Isaac felt no sympathy. “Give me my house key,” he said between clenched teeth. “You can find yourself someplace else to live.” Nina sobbed harder.

  “I said give me my keys.” Isaac’s upper lip curled as his eyes sent piercing volts through her.

  Nina brought her hands down from her face and looked around. Her purse was on the ground in front of one of the cars she had been sandwiched between. She picked it up and fumbled around for her keys. Her eyes were blurry from crying, and her right eye was closing. The woman grabbed her purse and pulled the keys out. She handed them to Isaac. “Wait,” Nina said, “I need to get my car key off the ring.”

  “Oh, no you don’t. Do you think I’m gon’ let you drive out of here in the BMW I paid for? When they pulled my baby out of your belly, they must’a took part of your brain too.” Isaac pushed the two men off of him. “Don’t show your face at my house. Don’t ask me for nothing.” Nina opened her mouth. “Nothing!” Isaac repeated. He ignored the crowd that had gathered around them as he walked over to her BMW, opened the door and looked back at her. “A quick death is too good for a baby killer like you, Nina. When I’m done, you gon’ be the feature story on Unsolved Mysteries.” He got in the car and sped off.

  Nina was really stupid, Isaac thought as he rubbed his chin with his index finger and his thumb. Whenever he needed to think something through – develop a plan of action, he would rub his chin. How simple it would be to dispose of her in any way he saw fit. He could have taken care of her tonight when he saw her at that convenience store, but that would have ended the game too soon.

  Isaac frowned. He would have given her anything she wanted. All he asked was that she accept his lifestyle. But no, Nina was a reformer, always trying to get him to change; see things her way. None of his other women complained about their competition. They had no reason to complain. He took good care of them all. He assigned each one of his girls certain tasks – cleaning his house, holding and transporting his drugs, waitressing at his bootleg joints, or managing his laundromat. He even had a girl who knew how to pick pockets. Hustling wasn’t easy, but Isaac did his best.

  He would have to make an example of Nina. He didn’t want his other girls thinking they could betray him without facing the consequences for their actions. That was his baby. He slammed his fist on the coffee table. “She had no right to discard what belonged to me. Oh, she’ll pay, and she’ll pay big.”

  The last time he had to make an example out of someone was five years ago. When he closed his eyes he could still see the savage beating he gave Renee. She spent weeks in the hospital. Her once beautiful face was still slightly twisted when they released her.

  Messing up that striking face of Nina’s, that had previously dazzled him, was something Isaac almost couldn’t bear to think about. “Why are you forcing me to hurt you, Nina?” Isaac growled through his empty house.

  2

  “Sorry ma’am. We’re not accepting resumes today.”

  So what’s new? Elizabeth thought as she turned to walk out of the door. She’d been hearing the same song all week. By now, Elizabeth pretty much knew what the receptionist’s response would be by her expression. If she frowned, it was, ‘Sorry, no applications accepted today.’ If she looked disapprovingly at Elizabeth’s colorful attire or her deep ebony skin, it was, ‘We don’t have anything for you.’ If the woman smiled at Elizabeth, it was only to say, ‘We don’t have anything right now. Come back in a month or two.’

  Elizabeth hated the last response most! If she didn’t find a job within a month, she and her children would starve to death.

  Kenneth C. Underwood’s unfaithful, stank-behind made her stomach turn. It was his fault she was in this predicament. He forced her to quit her job and help him get his technical consulting business off the ground, but she was far from an equal partner. No, all Kenneth wanted was an administrative assistant. As if she struggled through graduate school to sit in his office saying, “Mr. Underwood’s office. Can I take a message please?” Every time one of his lousy customers talked down to her, she wanted to tell them that they were dealing with a bonafide sistah with an MBA, not a GED – thought ya knew. But like a sucka for love, she took the abuse and did every one of the menial tasks Kenneth assigned to her. The real truth was that Kenneth couldn’t deal with an educated Black woman, making educated decisions, and passing him on the way up the corporate ladder.

  He promised to love, honor and cherish her, but he preferred to beat, neglect and misuse her. The beatings weren’t so much physical as emotional. Okay they weren’t physical at all, but the treatment she received was worse than any physical beating. If someone gives you a black eye, won’t that eye heal? But how does one heal from being verbally tormented night and day? Constantly told they are too fat, when they only weigh one hundred and twenty-three pounds; told that they’re too dark, so they wear their foundation two shades lighter for a month, knowing that they look like a clown! And if that wasn’t bad enough, brother-man had to go and flip the script by cheating on her with blonde hair and blue eyes.

  Elizabeth thrust the key into the ignition. What in the world made Kenneth think she would remain with him? Did he think that just because he no longer found her attractive that no one else would?

  As she drove down the street, she mouthed, “Kenneth is on a serious sistah-free fast.” But Elizabeth knew all too well what his White man’s trophy would soon discover. Not only was the grass not greener on the other side of Kenneth C. Underwood, it didn’t even grow.

  Elizabeth slammed on the brakes and was almost rear-ended. Did she read that sign right? She turned into the shopping plaza and sped up to get in front of the building. Yep. A sign posted in the window read, ‘Position available, apply within.’

  Elizabeth parked the car, got out of the car and walked toward the building smiling. Near the building, two women shook hands, then one of the ladies walked toward the window.

  Noooo! Elizabeth screamed internally.

  The woman grabbed the sign out of the window. Elizabeth just turned around and walked back to the car.

  All the way home she kept telling herself, “I won’t cry. My children won’t starve, and I won’t cry!” She violently shook her head as a disobedient tear rolled down her face. She wiped the tear from her cheek as she pulled up to her home. That’s right, this two-story, five-bedroom, three and a half bath - and don’t forget the weight room in the basement - $350,000 house in the suburbs belonged to a sistah. She could still see the surprised looked on Kenneth’s face when she told him to get his stuff and get out. All she needed to do now was find a way to pay for this place.

  As she walked toward the front porch she didn’t need Les Brown or Zig Ziggler; she became her own motivational speaker. “You
will not let this break you. You are a strong Black woman – and you will survive.”

  “Elizabeth.”

  She looked up and cursed. Standing in front of her with his hands on his hips, got the nerve to have an attitude, was that light-bright-just-know-he-wishes-he-was-White-no-good-freckle-faced-adulterous husband of hers. “What do you want?”

  “Where are my kids, Elizabeth?”

  Her head started bobbing, lip got ta’ twitching. Can’t nobody do attitude like a mad Black woman, and Elizabeth intended to give him plenty of it. “Funny how you remember you have kids now. Maybe you should have told that strumpet you’ve been laying up with that you have kids.”

  He took his hands off his hips. “Look, Elizabeth, I don’t want to fight with you. I just want my kids. You put me out, I didn’t want to leave, and I sure didn’t want to leave my kids – they need me.”

  “The kids need you!” Her hands started flailing in the air. “Why you good for nothing ##%@!.” The wind blew, dust flew up; there was definitely a chill in the air. It did nothing to cool the fierce heat from the anger Elizabeth felt at this very moment. “What about me, huh, Kenneth? Did you ever stop to think for one second that I might have needed you – or was that irrelevant?”

  He looked down at the cracks in the concrete, then over at the leaves as they fell off that big oak tree in front of their house. “Oh, so now you can’t even look at me. Come on, Kenneth. What’s the matter, cat got your tongue?”

  He still said nothing.

  “Well maybe snow flake has your tongue. Do I have to call your woman and ask her to give you permission to speak to your wife?”

  He shoved his hands deep in his pockets. “I don’t want to fight with you, Elizabeth, I just want to see Erin and Danae – that’s all.”

  “Oh really? Well people with visitation rights pay child support. Did you know that, Mister Adultery Committing man?”

  He pulled his wallet out of his back pants pocket, counted out two hundred dollars and handed it to her. “Is that enough?”

  “What, wasn’t I a good enough wife to receive a little alimony?”

  He counted out another two hundred and handed it to her. “Look, I’ll put your name back on our joint account, you can take whatever you want. Now can I see my children?”

  She threw the money at him. “No!” she said, and walked away.

  Kenneth grabbed Elizabeth’s arm to turn her around to face him. She immediately balled her fist and struck out. He ducked, she slipped, and her bottom hit the concrete with full force.

  “I don’t want to fight with you. Will you please stop?” He bent down to help her up.

  Elizabeth jerked away from him and pushed on the ground as she stood up. “Tell me why you did it. Why did you do this to us?” The tears were out now, and she hated him for it. Neighbors were peeking out their windows, then they had the nerve to come outside, taking half-full trash bags to their trashcans. Elizabeth didn’t care. She wiped at her face and those disobedient eyes and stood toe to toe with her husband. “Why? Tell me why.”

  He backed up, shoulders slumped. “The last couple of years haven’t been our best.”

  She stepped to him again. “In other words, after I had your kids,” she was so close to him, so angry, that spit smacked him in the face as she said the word ‘kids.’ “You had no more use for me.”

  He wiped at the spit on his reddening face. “Look, Elizabeth, you know as well as I do that we haven’t been happy for a while now.”

  She started strutting up and down the walkway. “I knew no such thing!” She turned to face some of her nosey neighbors that had the nerve to be standing in the street watching them. “Mind your own business! Matter-of-fact, where’s your husband right now, huh? That’s what your nosey butts need to be figuring out.” She turned back to Kenneth. “How was I supposed to know something like that, Kenneth?” She looked him dead in the face. “Am I a mind reader or something? Cause you sure never opened your mouth to tell me you were unhappy.”

  His shoulders slumped again, his knee bent and his eyes slowly glazed over as they became cold and withdrawn. The look in his eyes sent a chill through Elizabeth.

  “If you cared anything about me, you should have been able to tell how I was feeling. You should have been able to read my body language.”

  Oh she was good and mad now. Read it in his body language. Ha! Okay, she wasn’t blind. Yeah, she could see he was unhappy. Matter-of-fact, he looked more than unhappy. Kenneth quite nicely projected the image of a poor, rejected, freckle-faced stepchild. But she was always so busy with the kids, the house, the bills, the dog, and oh my goodness, when she finally got around to his needs - that didn’t take any thinking, no mind reading. What did he want from her? Forget it. She threw up her hands and walked away from him. He didn’t try to grab her this time, but as she reached the top step, he called out to her again.

  She spun around to face him, all the while thinking, you are a strong Black woman, you will get through this.

  “I miss Erin and Danae. When can I see them?”

  She struck a pose for him and said, “Read it in my body language.”

  3

  Isaac was at his favorite Chinese restaurant on the corner of Main and Jefferson with Valerie Middle. Although the menu offered a myriad of delicacies, he always ordered shrimp fried rice. It was as if he believed the stories about the cats and the dogs, but still had an uncontrollable hunger for Chinese.

  Dimly lit chandeliers hung over small round tables. Soft music played as most of the patrons gazed into the eyes of their partners, enjoying light-hearted conversation. Isaac gazed into his shrimp fried rice and ate in silence.

  Valerie leaned forward and put her hand over Isaac’s. “Baby, why haven’t you returned any of my calls? Have I done something wrong?”

  He moved his hand. “Oh, you know exactly what you did!”

  “Wait a minute, baby.” She hunched her shoulders, a look of pure innocence on her face as she added, “I’m not following you.”

  At that moment, Isaac contemplated slapping that innocent-as-a-three-day-old-baby expression off her face. She knew exactly what had happened, and that she caused it. He wanted to get up and tell her ‘Don’t call me. Naw, better yet, forget you ever knew me!’ But what could he do? Valerie was an essential part of his business. To leave her now would be like cutting off his nose to spite his face. So in the final analysis, he simply asked, “Why did you tell Nina that we went to Chicago together?”

  Her skillfully arched eyebrows flew up and that sinful red painted mouth dropped in shock. “Why would I do something like that?”

  “You tell me!”

  She leaned in closer and reclaimed his hand. “Look, all I want is for you and me to be happy again. And baby, believe me, I’m not going to do anything to jeopardize that. So why would I tell Nina that we were in Chicago, when I know that’s the last thing you want her to know?”

  “You tell me why you did it.”

  “I didn’t do it!” she shouted.

  “I know you! You did it – you need to quit playing games!” He shoved a shrimp in his mouth as he stared right through her.

  She leaned back slightly in her seat and gazed at him. “You know, there was a time when I didn’t have to worry about you throwing other women in my face.”

  “Just keepin’ it real, baby. You know how things are with us.”

  “Yeah, I know. But I can’t forget how you used to smile at me. Seeing those dimples would just about drive me out of my mind.” She lightly brushed her hand against his cheek. “In those moments, my heart only beat because there was you.” She looked away from him for a moment. “Did you ever love me?”

  “What’s all this love stuff?”

  “Just tell me, I need to know.”

  “Honestly, Valerie, I don’t think I know what love is.”

  Her eyes misted over a bit, but she managed to give him a half smile. “You used to tell me that it was just you and me agains
t the world.”

  Isaac looked at Valerie for a brief moment. It was a soft, endearing moment, and he had few of those. Yeah, he did tell her that. And at the time, he meant it. He had also told Nina the same thing less than two months ago. And he meant it then too. Women, Isaac thought, either they hang around too long and make you wish they were gone, or they leave too soon, and make you chase them all over again.

  4

  There are two things in life that you can count on.

  No, not a man or a woman, and certainly not love or promises. But you can always be sure that the thick darkness of the night will caress you while you sleep, and the boldness of the morning light will creep right into your bedroom louder than any rooster’s crow.

  Nina sometimes wished that the light would simply fade back into night. But it never did. So this morning, she stretched her tired body across her pillow-top bed, grateful that she could stretch without wrenching from the pain of the horrible beating Isaac had given her a couple of weeks ago. She reached for a pen and some paper. She had started a poem yesterday and the ending was dancing in her head. She wanted to write it down before it got lost and jumbled in the turmoil of her mind. She lay across her bed and started reading.

  I ache from the pain of never feeling loved,

  I ache from the sorrow of much wasted time.

  Some mornings just before I wake I dream of lying very still, so still that I can’t feel the gentleness of a summer’s breeze.

  And on those mornings the world seems so peaceful…

  She picked up her pen and tapped it on the paper a few times. Her thoughts weren’t always as clear as they used to be, but she knew she could finish this poem. It was in her head. She just needed to pull it out. The pen tapped the paper once more. “Yeah, that’s it.”