Former Rain-Forsaken Box Set

by Vanessa Miller

  Even though Cassandra had decided that she didn’t care, she was determined that Diane would sit in that seat for a decade before she would allow her to see JT. Many other members of the church arrived. JT came out of the surgery and the doctor told Cassandra that she could go in to see him, but she didn’t want to do that.

  JT had now been out of surgery for two days; but she had still not gone into her husband’s room. Instead, she allowed some of the church members – but not Diane – to go in to check on their pastor while she sat, reading a book and waiting. But what was she waiting on? Was she scared to see JT all bruised and battered as his doctor had reported, or was it that she was just so sick of JT and all his lies that she just couldn’t endure one more lie from him. She wanted to know about the accident, but she didn’t want to ask JT because she no longer believed a word that came out of his mouth.

  “Cassandra.”

  She heard the voice and knew immediately that it was Bishop Turner. Cassandra put the novel that she was reading down, stood up, walked over to her godfather and hugged him. “I knew you would come,” she whispered as he held her tight.

  “I’m so sorry this happened. How is he doing, honey?”

  Cassandra moved out of her godfather’s embrace and sat back down. “The doctor says he’s in a lot of pain and really banged up.”

  “Is he sleep now? How did he look the last time you were in there with him?” Bishop asked Cassandra.

  “I haven’t been in there yet,” she told him.

  He looked at his watch and then asked, “You haven’t been in to see him today?”

  “I haven’t gone into his room since he arrived at the hospital,” she admitted with her eyes downcast.

  Bishop Turner sighed as he took the hat off his head and sat down next to Cassandra. He put his arm around her shoulder and gently squeezed. “I know things haven’t been that great between you and JT lately, but do you think you should be sitting out here rather than tending to your husband?”

  “You know what I really think, Bishop?” Cassandra said as tears spilled down her face. “I think his girlfriends should have to tend to him. Two of them had the nerve to come out to the hospital to see him, but do you think they stayed or even offered to nurse him through his recuperation process? No. So, I guess that’s my job – mending this no good dog so he can get well enough to flaunt his women in my face again.”

  Rubbing and squeezing Cassandra’s shoulder, Bishop said, “I know that you’re not in a good place with your marriage right now. Sometimes we men can be very imperfect people. My wife would tell you the same thing about me.”

  Cassandra shook her head. “Not you, Bishop. You would never treat your wife the way JT has treated me.”

  Sorrow filled his eyes as he admitted, “I’ve made my mistakes too, honey. Susan forgave me and we’ve made a good life together since then.” The look of horror on Cassandra’s face was as if someone had knocked her idol down right in front of her. “I’m sorry if that shocks you, but sometimes we pastors get the big head and forget that the people adoring our ministry actually belong to God and not us. When that happens, a pastor will fall just as easily as a new babe in Christ.”

  “I don’t know if I can do what your wife did, Bishop. I’m just tired of it all.”

  Bishop stood up, reached for Cassandra’s hand and then pulled her up with him. “Why don’t we take it a day at a time? Let’s go see your husband. Okay, sweetie?”

  Cassandra let go of Bishop’s hand and walked toward her husband’s room. She hesitated for a moment at the door. She was still angry about the confrontation she had with JT’s mistress, who had the nerve to be upset when the nurses wouldn’t let her in because she wasn’t family. Cassandra shook the memory off and opened the door to her husband’s room. JT was lying in the bed looking at her with pain filled eyes. His left arm was bandaged from shoulder to wrist and his right arm and leg were both in slings. His face no longer reminded her of the warm caramel that coated delicious red apples at summer fairs. It was swollen two sizes bigger than normal and was black and blue. Tubes were everywhere; two were in JT’s mouth.

  She turned away from him, wanting to run, but Bishop was in the doorway, halting her exit. He grabbed her and hugged her. “It’s okay, honey. He’s battered and bruised, but the man you fell in love with is still there.”

  That’s the problem, Cassandra thought. The man she fell in love with had become the man she now despised, and she didn’t know if she had enough God in her to help her husband through this difficult time. “I don’t want to look at him,” Cassandra cried as she leaned into Bishop’s chest.

  “Monster.”

  Bishop Turner and Cassandra both heard JT say something, but it was so mumbled because of the tubes in his mouth that they couldn’t understand it. Bishop moved Cassandra closer to JT’s bed and asked him, “What did you say, Son?”

  “I’m a monster.”

  Cassandra understood him that time, and she agreed. JT looked like a monster. But what he said next confused her.

  “God’s work.”

  CHAPTER 14

  A young police officer came to the hospital to see JT, but he couldn’t answer the man’s questions. He couldn’t even write down his answers since one arm was in a cast and the other in a sling. The officer said he would come back when JT could speak. The next day, Vivian Sampson came to visit. JT watched her walk in with a smug smile on her face. She had a basket of yellow and white flowers in her hand. She stood over his bed and asked, “Where do I put these?”

  Words were still coming out like a mumble for JT, and he couldn’t point either.

  “Oh, you poor thing. I heard that you were having a hard time communicating,” Vivian said as she walked over to an empty table and sat the flowers on it. She turned around, leaned against the table and said, “You really look bad. When do you suppose the swelling will go down on your head?” She put her hand over her mouth to stifle a giggle as she walked back to his bed. “I’m sorry. I keep forgetting that you can’t talk.”

  JT knew that Vivian was still mad at him for breaking it off with her. He also knew that he couldn’t defend himself against Vivian if she decided to do something to him, so he prayed that a nurse or somebody would come into his room before this sociopath smothered him with his own pillow.

  Vivian put her hands on the sling that held JT’s right arm. His eyes implored her not to hurt him. But Vivian obviously couldn’t read eye language because she began to shake the sling. JT’s eyes watered as a scream of agony escaped his mouth.

  Vivian let go of the sling and moved away from the bed as a nurse with fire red hair ran into the room. “What’s going on in here?”

  “He’s in a lot of pain, poor thing,” Vivian said as she moved back over to JT’s bed.

  JT mumbled his response, but no one understood. The nurse walked over to him and asked, “What’s wrong, Mr. Thomas?”

  JT’s eyes flashed fear as he looked from Vivian and then back to his nurse. The nurse looked at JT’s visitor and asked, “Are you a member of the family?”

  “I attend the church he pastors.”

  “I’m not sure you’re supposed to be in here. His wife has requested that he have no visitors right now.”

  “I don’t think JT has a problem with me being in here,” Vivian told the nurse defiantly.

  Fear lingered in JT’s eyes when the nurse looked back at him for confirmation. She then told Vivian, “Why don’t you leave your name at the nurse’s station and we will clear you with Mrs. Thomas.” The nurse grabbed Vivian’s arm and said, “Let me show you where the station is.”

  Vivian snatched away from her. “I don’t need your help. I can leave on my own, and I certainly don’t need to leave my name at your nurse’s station.” Vivian strutted out of JT’s room without looking back.

  JT rested his head on his pillow and breathed a bit easier. But he would not rest for long. Two days after Vivian’s visit, Deacon Benson came to see him. The deacon d
idn’t come bearing flowers or a smug smile. He just sat down in the chair next to JT’s bed with a Bible in his hand.

  The tubes had been taken out of his mouth, and even though the areas around JT’s mouth were swollen, he was able to communicate a little better than he had been since arriving at the hospital. The sling on his leg had also been removed. “Deacon,” JT said as he watched the man sit down.

  Deacon Benson looked at JT for a moment. There was a bitter sadness in his eyes as he said, “My wife left me today, Pastor. She said she couldn’t continue living a lie.”

  JT wanted to say something, but he just didn’t know what could make this situation better. He had called this man friend and then slept with his wife, and now she had left him. JT hoped that Benson wasn’t there to finish the job he started at the church. The call button was an inch away from his thumb, so he could get a nurse in there if he had to.

  Deacon Benson put the Bible on his lap, opened it to Psalm 55 and began reading without looking at JT. “Give ear to my prayer, O God; and hide not thyself from my supplication. Attend unto me, and hear me: I mourn my complaint, and make a noise…

  For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was you, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine friend.” When Deacon Benson finished reading, he closed his Bible and stood to leave.

  JT had wronged this man by sleeping with his wife. JT’s right arm had been taken out of the sling earlier in the day. It still hurt, but he managed to lift it halfway as he said, “Wait.”

  JT’s voice didn’t sound so much like mumbling anymore, so Deacon Benson understood him, but he didn’t stop walking toward the door.

  “I-I’m sorry,” JT said, and what surprised him most was that he really meant it. He was truly sorry for the way he had messed everyone’s life up; he just didn’t know how to fix it.

  Deacon Benson hesitated at the door for a moment, and then, without looking back, he walked out of the room.

  After that visit, JT was pretty much left alone. Cassandra hadn’t visited him since the day she’d come in his room with Bishop Turner. The nurses told him that she called them several times a day to check on him, but he desperately needed to see her. Being left alone provided him with too much time to think about the lives he had ruined.

  Margie Milner was the first woman JT had cheated on Cassandra with. He had increasingly gotten bolder as his affair with Margie appeared to go on undetected. He remembered how angry Margie had become when she discovered that JT had started seeing other women, and how she felt that he was cheating on her. He had mixed her mind up so bad that Margie didn’t realize that what they had was nothing like a marriage. She didn’t understand that God had joined him and Cassandra together and not him, Cassandra and Margie. But looking back, JT couldn’t blame Margie for all that had happened because of her misunderstanding.

  Margie had been a deaconess at Faith Outreach for five years before JT became the pastor. She was faithful to the Lord and handled her responsibilities without complaint. One night the two of them were in JT’s office with the door closed. They were going over details for the church picnic when JT brushed his hand against hers. The first time was an accident, but he felt an electric charge that had been missing with him and Cassandra ever since they’d lost the baby. So, he put his hand back over Margie’s and let it rest there until she looked at him. At that moment he saw the hunger in her eyes; she was lonely too. She needed him to take away the loneliness from her heart and maybe, just maybe, she could restore joy to his soul. At least that’s what he told himself as he leaned over and kissed Margie. Their affair lasted two years, until the day that Cassandra gave birth to Jerome and demanded that he end his affair.

  Margie had left Faith Outreach after JT ended their affair. The last JT heard, Margie had not joined another church. She was now unwed, but living with a guy and was pregnant with this guy’s baby. JT had ruined Margie’s life, but he had never even taken the time to mourn her fall from grace. He’d never cried for Margie, but as a dose of reality was poured onto his memories, a tear trickled down his face. And in the dark of night, when the hospital was mostly empty and quiet, JT wished that Jimmy would come into his room and finish him off. When that didn’t happen, JT seriously thought about doing it himself.

  Then the police came to see him. A white officer with dirty blonde hair stood next to his bed with a notepad and pen in his hand. “I’m Officer Michael McDaniel and I’ve been assigned to your case. He then asked JT, “Did you get a look at the car or the driver?”

  JT wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to the police about this incident. But if he didn’t, Jimmy might attack Cassandra or his children next and JT wouldn’t be able to live with himself if that happened. “I don’t remember the car, but that doesn’t matter,” JT said.

  “Why do you think the car doesn’t matter?”

  “Because Jimmy steals cars all the time. I’m sure it wasn’t his.”

  The officer looked up from his note pad. “Who’s Jimmy?”

  JT decided he’d tell McDaniel enough of the truth to help him investigate this crime. “Jimmy is an old high school friend of mine. He’s been in and out of jail since we left high school and he showed up at my church this week trying to extort money from me.”

  “Did you give him any money?”

  JT shook his head. “No, he wanted me to steal it from my church. So, I told him I couldn’t help him.”

  “Why would he come to you for money? Have you kept in touch with him since high school?”

  “I hadn’t seen him in fifteen years. The only thing I can think is that he was so desperate to get some money that he started reaching out to anyone he thought could give him the money. Maybe I was his last resort, maybe that’s why he ran me over. But I can’t say that for sure.”

  When Officer McDaniel left, JT laid his head on his pillow wondering if he would eventually be arrested. Once the police found Jimmy and discovered that JT stole money from a drug dealer, what would happen? Do people really get arrested for stealing from drug dealers?

  JT was in the hospital two weeks. The swelling in his face had gone down, so he didn’t look like the monster he had looked like days ago. But that was on the outside. As far as Cassandra was concerned, JT was still a monster. She didn’t like him, and didn’t want to take him home, nor did she want to help him recuperate. But she found herself in a no win situation. She had married this man for better or worse. So even though things were pretty bad for them, she couldn’t desert him. That just wasn’t who she was.

  She walked over to his bed and tried to put a smile on her face, but the smile was lopsided. “How are you doing today?”

  JT looked up at his wife. Although the swelling had gone down on his face, he still had black and blue bruising below his eyes, on his forehead and right below his cheek bone. “I’m not doing too well,” he told her.

  “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

  He shook his head. “I’m too drugged up right now to feel much pain in my body. I was just laying here thinking about all the stupid things I’ve done in my life and how I’ve hurt and corrupted so many people.”

  Cassandra didn’t want to get into a conversation about all the evil JT had done. If she continued to think about it, she might just leave him in this hospital to fend for himself. “The doctor says you will be released today. Are you excited about that?”

  His eyes were moist as he responded. “I’ve hurt you so bad these last few years, I’m wondering if you would rather that I go to a nursing home, so I could have round the clock care and you wouldn’t have to take time from the boys to help me recuperate?”

  This was not the JT that Cassandra was used to. He had never cared how much extra work his thoughtless behavior cost her. She was just expected to go out of her way to please him.

  A nurse walked in with JT’s release papers in her hand. She looked
at Cassandra with bright, playful eyes and asked, “I hope you’re ready to take your husband home, because we are sure tired of waiting on him hand and foot.”

  Cassandra and JT looked at each other. The room was uncomfortably silent for a moment. That’s when Cassandra saw the pain in her husband’s eyes. Somehow she knew this pain she was witnessing was real and she desperately wanted to know where it was coming from.

  “Is something wrong?” the nurse asked, release papers still in her hand.

  Cassandra turned away from her husband and took the release papers from the nurse. “Nothing’s wrong. We’re just ready to go home, isn’t that right, JT?” Cassandra said.

  Chapter 15

  For the first month that JT was home, he could barely move. A physical therapist worked with him four times a week. Slowly, JT began to recover. After two weeks of recovery, JT was given a cane to move around. But because of the excruciating pain he felt while walking, JT only used the cane to go to his adjoining bathroom and back to his bed. One day while lying in bed thinking over his life and how far he had fallen, Bishop Turner came to see him.

  Bishop sat down in the chair next to JT’s bed and asked, “How are you feeling today?”

  “Not so good, Bishop,” JT said as he tried to sit up, but the pain of movement stopped him in his tracks. JT blew out hot air and fell back on his pillow. “I’ll be much better when I’m free of pain.”

  “I know it’s been tough for you. Cassandra doesn’t look like she’s getting much sleep. I’m worried about her also.”

  “You’re always worried about Cassandra. But she’s a grown woman, Bishop. She can take care of herself,” JT said.

  “Yeah, but I asked you to be her protector so she wouldn’t have to take care of herself,” Bishop said with noticeable sadness in his voice.

  JT knew this visit wouldn’t be friendly. “What do you want me to do, Bishop? I know I messed up. Cassandra hasn’t forgiven me for anything. She barely let me come home to recuperate.”