PLAYING FOR KEEPS

by MacLeod, J. E.

I noticed her eyes were a little less heavily made up. She wore a short t-shirt that looked like she’d hacked it up with a pair of scissors, with a long white one underneath. I glanced down and saw she was wearing a short skirt, with black fishnet stockings and high-cut black Converse shoes. I grinned at her, in my faded Abercrombie jeans and baggy t-shirt. We looked like an odd couple together. I liked that--surprises.

  Cassandra shot me a look. Her eyes weren’t unfriendly, but she looked around cautiously before rewarding me with a tiny grin. She still didn’t trust me. And I bet she’d been burnt a lot in the past because of her size.

  I winked at her, and smiled when she quickly turned her head away.

  “Okay, Mr. Chase?” Mr. Wright’s voice cut into my thoughts.

  I glanced at him, no idea what he’d just said. A few of the kids giggled. I spotted Mona sitting off to the side of the class. She watched me, a sad smile on her face. I nodded her way.

  “Sorry?” I said turning my attention back to Mr. Wright.

  “I asked if you’d help me collect names.”

  “Sure.” I pushed myself off the wall I’d been leaning on.

  “Okay, kids. Line up. Leads in one line, extras in the other. Zachary, come here and take this clipboard. Extras, line up over here by Zachary. Just write down their names, okay, Zack?”

  I reached Mr. Wright at the front of the room. “You trying out for a lead or an extra?” he asked me.

  I shrugged. “An extra, I guess.”

  He grinned. “You don’t want to go out for the lead?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Not this time. Sore ribs.”

  “You can sing?”

  “I dabble. When I’m playing guitar.”

  He smiled as he shook his head. “Okay, son. I’ll put you to good use.” He held out a clipboard. ”Here, take this and go stand over there. Write down the names of all the kids who want to be extras.”

  Hailey was the first person in line. “Zack Chase. The singing hockey player. You going to sing in front of the whole school? You are the weirdest guy.”

  “That so?” I tapped a pencil against the clipboard. I got sick of being called weird all the time. Seemed to me, I wasn’t even close to being the wackiest character in this town.

  She nodded, then glanced towards the back of the line where Jane stood. Cassandra was across the room, in the lead parts’ line, looking both flustered and nervous.

  “Well,” I said. “You’ve never heard me sing. Maybe I’ll surprise you. And by the way, you’re a very weird girl, too, Hailey. And that’s exactly why you like me.”

  She stuck her tongue out as I wrote her name on the first line.

  “Hailey Hannigan. Extra. Sure you don’t want to go for something with a little bit more bite, Hailey? You’ve got enough drama queen in you to take on something a little meatier.”

  “Ha. Ha. You better not be referring to the size of my butt.” She glanced meaningfully back at Jane. “This how you get the girl? By landing a part in the school play?”

  I didn’t answer; instead I just shot her my cockiest smile.

  “A singing hockey player. Lord have mercy.” She rolled her eyes, then leaned forward, touching my arm. “Hey. I miss you. I hardly see you anymore. I can’t believe you haven’t been at the rink watching the games. Coach Cal has got to be pissed off. It doesn’t look so good if you don’t at least show an interest in the team when you’re down for the count.”

  I leaned forward so only Hailey could hear me. “Screw how it looks.” I leaned back.

  “Ribs still hurt. It’s hard to sit in one spot for long. I’m just taking it easy right now.” It was my official answer, the same one I’d been giving my mom for the last couple of weeks. She was starting to fret about my not supporting the team and not going to the games, but I still refused to go.

  Hailey seemed ready to launch into a further lecture, but I’d heard enough of it at home, so I just tuned her out.

  “Okay, Hailey. I have to get everyone signed up. Do you mind moving along?” She reluctantly left my side.

  I signed up a couple more kids, and then Mona appeared at the front of the line.

  “Hey, Mona,” I smiled at her. “You’re an extra too.”

  “Zack.” She blushed. “Um, hi.” She didn’t look me in the eye.

  “I didn’t know you were into acting.”

  She glanced around as if someone were going to materialize to give her trouble. “Well. I used to be. I haven’t done anything for a long time, but I thought I might try out. You know, just as an extra. See if I still like it.”

  I nodded. “Cool.”

  “You’re trying out too?”

  I nodded again. “What the hell. I might as well, since I can’t play hockey for a couple more weeks.”

  She actually looked like she cared. I couldn’t figure this girl out at all. One minute she was a trash-talking nympho, and the next she was blushing and sad, and trying out for the school musical.

  “You going to wear your Hawaiian lei as the extra?” I teased.

  Her eyes widened, her mouth twitched in the corner. “What?”

  “Your costume, from Halloween.”

  “You were at that party?” She looked like she might cry now.

  “Uh, yeah.” I found it odd, considering her behavior with me at the party.

  “I was really drunk.” She stared at the floor, and then looked around for an escape. “The whole thing’s kind of a blur.”

  She’d been drunker than I’d even thought if she couldn’t remember what happened. Maybe she was pretending not to know—some kind of pride or something.

  “Oh well, that happens, I guess.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “Yeah. To me. Are your ribs still sore?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

  She was changing the topic. I could go along with that. “Nah. They’re fine. I’m getting better. So, is Candy going to try out, too?”

  “Oh my God, no way. She’s going to freak when she finds out I did.” She looked around again. Was she expecting to be pulled out of line and scolded?

  “Well. Good for you then, doing your own thing.”

  She smiled and it reached her eyes this time.

  “Yeah. Good for me.”

  I wrote down her name “What’s your last name, Mona?”

  “Ryder.”

  “I guess I don’t get one?” I winked.

  She stared at me with a blank look.

  “A ride?”

  A laugh spilled out of her. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth, as if it surprised her. For a moment I could see what she’d been like when she was younger. Innocent, cute.

  “See ya around, Mona Ryder.”

  “See you, Zack.” She looked about to step away, and then glanced at the line behind her and back at me again. “You going out with Jane?”

  I shrugged. “I’m trying.”

  She nodded. “I thought so. She’s a nice girl.”

  She walked away and I glanced at the next girl in line, but glimpsed back to the end of the line. Jane watched Mona walk out. The sad look on Jane’s face confused me.

  I quickly signed up the rest of the people in line without additional chitchat, until Jane stood before me.

  “I won’t put your name on this list until you agree to go out with me.”

  She bit her lower lip.

  “Okay,” she said.

  Score!

  CHAPTER NINE

  FEELING PRESSURE

  “You look amazing, Jane.”

  Finally, the day I’d been looking forward to arrived.

  “Please.” She rolled her eyes, but then she smiled at me. Her teeth were small. She didn’t have an overly large mouth or big swollen lips like a lot of girls. The tiny mouth suited her.

  She wore a simple pair of jeans that made her butt look incredible, along with a snug black t-shirt with a skull on the front. She wore big black army boots, and her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail.
She’d traced her eyes with black eyeliner, but it was a little tamer than before. To me, she looked beautiful. She even smelled delicious; she was wearing a light perfume and the scent was somehow familiar.

  “I hope you weren’t expecting me to transform into Barbie.”

  “Hardly. You look great, like Avril Lavigne.”

  “Oh, God.” She rolled her eyes again.

  “Not a compliment?” I reached down to try and take her hand.

  She pulled away and shook her head. “You look like somebody famous, but I can’t decide who,” She said, with her brow furrowed.

  I lifted her hand and lightly put my lips to her fingers. She blushed intensely and pulled away again.

  “Flattery will get you everywhere, Ms. Parker.” I grinned.

  She laughed, and the sound made me want her to do it again.

  “So. I thought I would take you out for dinner. Is that okay?” I asked as we strolled down the driveway together.

  “I like to eat.”

  I raised a brow. “Hmm. I wouldn’t have guessed. I don’t know where you put it.”

  “Very funny.”

  “Hey. You’re lucky. Most girls would kill to look like you.”

  She made a groaning sound, and I decided to let up.

  “Do you mind walking? I thought we would go to Western Pizza. Is that okay? It’s not very far.”

  “You don’t have your license yet, do you?”

  I grinned. “Busted. Late birthday. I could always call my mom to drive us if you don’t want to walk.”

  “No--I love to walk,” she said quickly.

  We headed down the path from her house to the street, strolling in the warm evening air and keeping our conversation light. We argued and teased as we put our feelers out, trying to know each other a little at a time.

  We reached the pizza place in fifteen minutes and were seated at a tiny table for two. The place was old, with cheap plastic tablecloths, but I’d heard the food was great. We easily agreed on the same kind of pizza, and when it arrived we dug in with gusto.

  “So, what made you want to be in the school play, Zack Attack?” Jane asked, with a bite of pizza in her mouth.

  “Truthfully?”

  She was adorable, chomping on that pizza like she meant it. She wasn’t shy around food. That was rather interesting.

  She nodded.

  “You.” I told her, balancing my slice of ham and pineapple pizza in the air in front of my mouth.

  “Get out,” she said, ripping a chunk off the slice she held in her hand.

  I watched her chew and she stared back at me, shameless in her gluttony. It made me like her even more. I bit my own slice, chewed, and then smiled.

  “Well. Okay. I signed up because I wanted to talk to you, but you know what? I actually like it. I like the rehearsals and seeing how the whole thing comes together. It makes sense to me now, why people get involved behind the scenes and in smaller roles. Everybody has something they’re good at, right? I mean, everyone pitches in. The stars of the show get to shine more than the others, but it doesn’t make them better or more important. I always thought being the star was the most important thing. But now I see that everyone works together. It’s kind of like preparing for the playoffs. I’ve learned a lot in the show. Besides, it’s a cool story. Bad boy, good girl. Kind of like me and you.” I winked at her and took another big bite of pizza.

  “Ha, ha.” She grinned at me. “You are so not a bad boy.”

  I tilted my head to stare her down. “Yes, but are you a good girl?”

  She blushed down at the red-checkered tablecloth. Then she looked up at me, and it was all I could do not to lunge across the table and kiss her. Ms. Parker was not all she appeared to be.

  Jane changed the subject to Cassandra, and for a while we talked about how talented she was. When the waiter came to clear our plates, Jane’s face suddenly grew serious.

  “Did you hear about Candy’s party tonight?” she asked.

  “Who didn’t? Her parents are in the Caribbean and she’s throwing a gigantic bash.”

  “Yeah. She’s crazy. And I’m sure she’ll get caught.” She took a deep breath. ”Would you mind if we stopped by for a while? I know it’ll suck, but I told my parents I’d go and keep an eye on Josh. I promised him I would, and it’s the only way they’d let him go. We could walk back to my place and take my car to the party.”

  “You his keeper?” I asked. I put down some money for the waiter.

  “No.” She studied my face for a moment. “They’re worried about him. About his drinking.”

  “Josh?” I thought about the conversation I’d had with him, but didn’t say anything to Jane.

  “He’s drinking way too much. It’s getting him into trouble. And they don’t know how to handle it. Their solution’s using me as a chaperone.” She pointed to the check. “What do I owe you?”

  I put up my hand and waved her off. “Nothing. It’s my treat. That’s some kind of pressure for you, having to look after Josh.”

  “Not really. He’s a jerk, but he’s my twin. I’m worried about him too, but what can I do? I mean, I can’t tell him not to drink. He’s not going to listen to me. Are you’re sure you got this tab?”

  I nodded. “You’re right—he probably wouldn’t listen to you. And since I asked you out to dinner, I pay.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled. “I really hate these parties, you know. All those people getting drunk and doing stupid things.” She shook her head, and then blinked at me. “How come you don’t drink?” she asked me.

  “I drink. I just don’t get drunk. I mean, I have. Gotten drunk. Thrown up, the whole nine yards. But I don’t like it. I don’t like losing control.” I traced the pattern on the table with my fingertips, then I looked up.

  She nodded. “Me neither.”

  I decided to take the chance. “Plus, you know, my dad.”

  She didn’t say anything, but her features softened and she leaned forward to listen.

  “Everyone seems to know how he died. He was drunk. On the road for a game. My mom was at home, pregnant with me, and he went out drinking after the game with two of his hockey buddies. A couple of girls were in the back seat. They all died in the crash.” I shook my head. “I can’t believe he would do something like that to my mom.”

  Jane reached across the table and stroked my hand. “It doesn’t mean anything. The girls in the back, I mean. He was probably just giving them a ride or something. He was with other guys, too.”

  I loved the feel of her fingers on my hand. “That’s what my mom believes. She believes it absolutely--with her whole heart. She told me he would never fool around on her. She’s so sure. She loved him a lot. Me, I’m not so sure. I think he was fooling around.”

  “She told you all that?”

  I smiled and nodded. “She talks to me about everything.” I frowned a little. Well she had--until Jane.

  “You and your mom are close.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Well, yeah. I mean, we’ve moved around a lot, so we rely on each other. She was really ambitious for so many years. Moving for promotions and new territories. Then this year, she just kind of stopped running so fast. It was like she’d been trying to get away from her memories or something. And she’s finally done. She quit her job and I think she’s happier now. Her sister is here. She likes Haletown, and I think she’s ready to settle. Plus, she thinks I’m going to get drafted from here. So many good junior teams. She wants me to play pro hockey, like my dad.” I shrugged, pulled my hand back.

  “You don’t want to?”

  “I don’t know. I can’t figure it out. I’m not sure if it’s just her dreams for me or if it’s what I want.”

  “You’re not like most hockey players, Zachary.”

  “That’s a stereotype. I just want to be me, you know. I don’t want to be my dad. I don’t want to live his life. I want to live my own.. . .” I shrugged and got up from the table, holding out my hand to help her up. �
�Sometime I’m not sure I know how.”

  “I totally get it,” she said and accepted my help without a fuss.

  Her fingers reached up and traced my scar.

  “You’ve been hurt,” she said, then dropped her fingers to her side.

  “So have you.” I stood straighter, smiling at her like a love-struck goofball.

  She smiled back. “You want to go to a party?” she asked.

  “Not really.”

  “Me either. But duty calls. So can we go?”

  “Of course.”

  My insides were doing a happy dance as we walked back to her house. The night was warm and the air clean and fresh.

  “And I think I like living here,” I told Jane.

  “I’m glad. I think I like you living here, too.”

  I let go of her hand for a moment and did a cartwheel on the road in front of her. “That’s how I feel right now.”

  Ouch. I didn’t tell her how much that hurt my ribs.

  She put her hands over her mouth and giggled. She laughed and laughed, and it was the most adorable sound I’d ever heard. I put my arm around her and we walked back to her house.

  #

  We could hear music and sounds of the party as soon as Jane turned off the ignition. The entire block was jammed with cars. We parked at the end of the street.

  I jumped out of Jane’s car when she parked, then went around to open her door.

  “You freak me out when you do that.”

  I laughed. “Sorry. My mom beat it into me.”

  She stepped out of the car. “I’m not saying I don’t like it--it’s just not normal.”

  I reached for her hand and she didn’t pull back, that is, until a voice interrupted us and she dropped it right away.

  “Looky what we found on our beer run, boys. Isn’t this sweet. What a great couple. The pretty boy and my very own bad girl. You closing your eyes and pretending he’s me when you go at it, Jane? And you, Chase. You closing your eyes and pretending she’s your mommy?”

  I didn’t have to look behind me to know who the voice belonged to--Mac. I also guessed Cole and Eddie were attached to either side of him.

  I turned my head. There they were, right in place.

  Jane spoke softly. “Ignore him, Zachary. He’s baiting you. I hate his guts and he knows it; he’s trying to get you to do something stupid.” She put a hand on my arm to hold me back.