Life as We Know It (Love Not Included) (Volume 4)

by J. D. Hollyfield

  Impressive, Penny, impressive.

  “All right, I am sorry. Can we go inside and get some coffee? Chat for a bit?”

  “One minute. That’s what you have.”

  “Please, Love. I’m sorry. I know you’re angry with me, but just one drink. Then I will let you be, all right?”

  I’m not a total bitch, so I sigh, then shrug, grunt and agree to one drink. After that, I’m totally kicking him in the balls and leaving.

  We head to our normal spot while Henry waves at Jake for our usual’s. He sits down catching me off guard and grabs for my hands, covering mine with his.

  “Seriously?” I bark as I jerk my hands away. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I get up to leave but he stands. “Okay, okay. I’m done. No more touching.”

  I give him the best crazy eye I can muster and sit back down. I would have left already but the smell of the Espresso machine working its magic seeps into my nostrils. I missed this place. My poor taste buds missed the caramel, double-shot, espresso lattes.

  “What do you want? I don’t have time for this.”

  Henry seems out of sorts, fidgeting with the napkin left on the table, “Yes, yes, so I just wanted to see how you were doing?”

  See how I was doing? Is he kidding me?

  “You’re joking, right? You forced me all the way over here to see how I was doing?” I go from annoyed to seething real fast. I know I have been off probation for a while now, but I’m about to be put back on it for assault and battery. “If you want to know how I’m doing, why don’t you ask your sleazy, poor excuse for a PR manager? She sure has a lot of time on her hands to keep tabs on me. And I should also mention, making sure anyone I spend my time with is up to date on all my priors?” I annunciate the last word, not hiding my anger.

  Henry sighs, seemingly unfazed by my fit of rage. “Listen, I am not sure what she is up to. She is just making sure my campaign is successful. She is truly an asset to my team.”

  This guy. What a fuckin moron.

  “How long were you sleeping with Cassandra before you dumped me, anyway?” That catches him off guard.

  “What? No. I wasn’t. I never touched her when we were together Love, I swear.”

  “How long after you dumped me then?”

  His facial expression falls.

  “Really?”

  “Love—” He goes to fetch a flyaway piece of hair that’s escaped from my ponytail. I slap his hand away and stand.

  “You’re a piece of work, you know that?” He says nothing, so I continue, “You fucked up and bad. You could have had a great thing with me. But you chose to let someone decide what was best for you. And boy did they fuck up. I wish nothing good for you, Henry, and in the end, I hope it was all worth it.” I step away from the table just as Jake brings over our order. I grab my coffee from his hands and smile. “Thanks, Jake!” I wink and turn to Henry who is still sitting there staring at me, “Henry’s got this one, right Henry? I’m kinda in a hurry.” I smile and then I’m out.

  I walk out of that café feeling refreshed, rejuvenated. Getting that speech off my chest felt great. Henry may be right that I might not have a clean past, however, I’m totally okay with that. I embrace my not so innocent side. And since he didn’t, screw him. I think about how if he hadn’t dumped me, I wouldn’t be where I am now. And that’s with the most amazing man on this planet. I call Patti back letting her know the job is done. I had to inform her I did not have a set of balls in my purse, but I did carry a huge smile on my face while I sipped my caramel double shot latte.

  SINCE AGREEING WITH JAMIE that we may have been separated at birth, it had become imperative I introduce him to Patti. And with Sam gone all weekend and unable to keep me warm, I chose the next best in line. Tequila.

  We all meet up at Manny Rio’s, a Mexican restaurant/dance club close to my apartment. An all you can eat taco buffet attached to an all-night Latino dance club. I mean, it can’t get any better. We’ve been coming here since we moved to New York and the owner, Manny Dorales himself, loves us. With his long dark hair and burly mustache, he is as authentic as they come. Plus, he always serves us extra guacamole.

  We’re on shot number four or five, I honestly lost count a long time ago. I do know that for every shot we take, a new battle of who loves who more starts between Jamie and Patti.

  “No girl, I love you more.”

  “No! Jamie, seriously you rock. I love you more.”

  “I think you two should just make out already, Jesus,” I groan as I take my finger and scoop some Guacamole out of the bowl then suck it off. These two have been at it forever. I get it, they’re like soul sisters, but shut up already. I turn to see Manny flipping bottles at the bar and I shout his name.

  “Manny! Get your pretty locks over here!” I throw my wobbly arm in the air calling him over.

  “Finally, you see me for the man I am,” he says with his heavy accent. He brings the bottle of tequila with him, smart man, and sets it down in front of us. “Now that you beckon me, shall we rápidamente get out of here and marry? I will introduce you to my seven sisters and mother. You come live with us.”

  Ahh, true love. “No, sorry, Manny. I’m just not ready to settle down yet. But you know what would really make me happy?”

  His facial expression slumps along with his shoulders. “Señorita Penny, I cannot allow you to climb on the bar again and pretend you are a human luge. The fire department said if they were called one more time, we would be shut down.”

  I automatically give him my insulted look. “Manny, that totally wasn’t me. I would never do anything to cause the fire department to show up.”

  “Señorita, you jumped on the bar pouring tequila down your cleavage singing that American song, “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” and as you walked along the bar, you slipped, knocking over all of the candles, setting fire to the entire bar.”

  Lies. All lies.

  “Señorita, how about a shot on the house, to forget the idea of climbing on my bar?” he asks, trying to divert my plans. Not waiting for my answer he pours me some goodness. He knows once I see the beautiful liquid fill up the cute little glass there is no way I’ll be able to resist.

  Too bad the next couple of shots made me also forget that I promised to forget, and by the end of the night I was up and running across the bar.

  …For all of two seconds, before I slipped and fell off.

  Sunday:

  Sunday I will be taking a sabbatical due to the severity of the hangover I am experiencing.

  MONDAY.

  Normally the worst day of the week.

  But today?

  All smiles. And for once in my life, I am early.

  I run into the office building and I smile at Jim, the concierge. I have a tray in my hand with two coffees and I am beside myself excited to see Sam. We haven’t talked much since he’s been gone, and it feels like an eternity since I last heard his deep, purring voice. I walk past the receptionist desk, not even letting Bethany faze me, and straight to my man. “Hey—”

  Without looking where I’m going, I run into the body of Mr. Claremont. “Excuse me—I’m so sorry, I didn’t expect anyone to be here so—early.” He looks down at me. “No worries, Ms. Summers. Enjoy your day.” He dismisses me and exits Sam’s office.

  Staring at his departing back, I turn to Sam. “Geesh, what’s up with that guy?”

  “Shut the door.”

  Oh great, not this again.

  “Umm…okay.” Door shut, I turn and walk toward his desk. “I missed you. I brought us coffee so we don’t actually have to leave your office anytime—” His intense look cuts me off, “—soon. Is everything okay?”

  “I’m going to ask you one more time. What is your full involvement with Henry Berkshire?”

  My whole body tenses up at the question. “Wait…what?”

  “Henry fucking Berkshire. What is your god damn involvement with him?”

  He stands abruptly and starts tossing pieces of
paper, one after another he whips them at my feet. Mouth open in shock by his anger, I look down to see photograph after photograph of Henry and I from the other day at the café.

  “Wait, where did you get these?”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  I bend forward, juggling the tray in one hand, to pick up a photograph of what looks like Henry and I sharing an intimate hug. “These… These are not what they look like—” I look up at Sam. “I can—”

  “Explain? Then you better start. Now!” he finishes on a yell. I jump back, hot coffee splashing my hands.

  What. The. Fuck.

  “Why are you so upset? Who took these? Who is that guy?” I turn to survey the closed door through which Mr. Claremont exited.

  “That’s not an answer,” he says again, seething. His hands form into fists, his knuckles white. His anger is making me nervous, but these pictures and his out of line questioning are sending me to the same level he’s on.

  “Well I’m not going to answer any of your questions until you tell me why you have these photos.”

  “Answer me,” he repeats, trying to calm himself but failing.

  “No!” I snap angrily. I toss the one I’m holding onto his desk. “What are these? Are you having me followed or something?”

  “Apparently it would seem necessary since I leave for forty-eight fucking hours and you are back getting cozy with your ex.” More photos are thrown off his desk. I try not to look at them. But I catch the images of Henry and me holding hands, him in action attempting to touch my face. All shots that would make it look like I was in an intimate relationship with my ex.

  “Listen I know those look like…whatever, but I’m not answering any of your—”

  “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING WITH HENRY BERKSHIRE!?” he booms. He takes his closed fists and swipes everything from his desk onto the floor. “Are you playing with me, Penny? Enjoying the attention of your ex while you toy with me?” He pauses, clearly trying to catch his breath. “Is this some sort of set up? One big joke to get me to fall for you?”

  “What? No!”

  “How long were you going to let this go on? Until I gave you everything?”

  I step forward, my body up against his desk. I can see the anger seeping from his fiery eyes. “Sam, I don’t know where this is all coming from, but—”

  “Answer my damn question. Or get out!” he yells. “If you can’t answer the simple fucking question then your silence is all the answer I need.”

  How dare he treat me this way after I told him what Henry did to me? Think so little of me? “Fuck you.” I state. And fuck him.

  “You are right, my sweet Penny, fuck me. Fuck me for being so naive with you.”

  “Naïve? Naïve? Apparently I was the naïve one thinking you weren’t the same, like every other asshole out there!” I yell back.

  “Watch your tone with me,” he threatens.

  “You know what? Fuck that. I don’t need this. Take your assumptions and shove them up your ass.” I throw the coffee container onto his desk causing them to tip and spill. He backs up just in time to watch me walk away.

  “Come back here!”

  I ignore him and keep walking.

  “Penelope!” he yells my name again, but I’m not stopping. If I turn around, I cannot be held accountable for my anger or my breakdown. I wrap my shaky hand around the doorknob.

  “Henry’s campaign is being investigated.”

  Sam’s hoarse voice hits me and I freeze.

  What?

  Blindsided by his statement, I stumble to a halt and turn around. “What?”

  “Henry’s campaign—it’s being investigated for stealing political funds and funneling money into illegal or phony campaigns,” Sam forces out, panting in between words.

  “What, why?” My anger begins slipping, confusion settling in its place.

  “Because someone in his campaign, whether it be him or not, is stealing. Mr. Claremont is an investigator for the FBI. Works for the department of Internal Affairs. He caught wind of my donation three weeks ago, and they approached me. Asked me to work alongside the FBI as a way to get closer to Henry.”

  He has rendered me absolutely speechless with this news. Henry would never do something illegal. At least I didn’t think he would.

  “I need to know what your involvement with Henry is. I need to know you are not a part of this.”

  And back to being angry. No, make that furious. “You think I have something to do with that?”

  “I don’t know, Pen, those pictures tell a whole different story.”

  “Those pictures are bullshit! What those pictures don’t show is me meeting Henry to threaten that if he ever came near me again, I would cut his balls off!” I take a step forward. “Those pictures don’t tell you that he grabbed at me and I fought that hug off, or that he grabbed my hand, which I smacked off, or that when I left I told him to NEVER contact me again.” Now it’s my turn to start breathing all crazy. “BUT, you wouldn’t know that, because you decided to accuse me instead of ask me!”

  “That’s not true, and you know it.”

  “Oh it’s not? Why were you with your ex, Penny? Why are you two getting all chummy, Penny?”

  “Knock it off, Pen.”

  “Fuck you, Sam.”

  “Watch your mouth!”

  “Oh what, now you don’t like my mouth?”

  “Penny, stop, I asked you a question. I needed answers. You cannot know how they are painting this picture for me.”

  “Oh and how is that?” I bark back, very fucking interested.

  “Think about it, you are the ex of a candidate running for senator. One who is being investigated for stealing campaign funds. You know your numbers. Who do you think they suspect in helping him this past year with all the finances? The ex-girlfriend who shines as top scholar and as the account executive at West and Mills.”

  You have to be fucking joking me here.

  “You’re kidding me.” This has to be a joke. I’m about to bend forward and laugh my tits off at the hilarity of this ridiculous theory.

  “Ben Claremont has been following Henry for months. When he saw you here the other day, he red flagged you. Apparently you had been on the possible list but nothing came up in your background. Until your little coffee date with your ex.”

  “So? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

  “Well, from those pictures, you two look pretty cozy. You may still be helping him. Being his inside numbers guru.”

  “And you believe him?” I ask, more hurt than stunned.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You didn’t have to,” I say resolved.

  “Penny…”

  I want to say more, but my emotions are lodged in my throat. I shake my head, forcing the tears back. “I’m done.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” he snaps.

  “It means that you can take your mistrust in me and shove it up your ass. I’m done.” I turn around and head back toward the door.

  “Penny, you said it first. Secrets and lies. Well, they are a deal breaker for me too. I won’t tolerate lies.” At that I stop. I inhale one big breath to give myself the strength to keep my tears at bay and turn around to look Sam straight in the eyes.

  “And I guess now is a great time to mention that lack of trust will overpower those in any relationship.”

  I watch the pain surface in his eyes.

  “Pen…”

  “Goodbye, Sam.” I turn to leave.

  “Please, Penny wait. I’m sorry. Just wait!”

  I hear his footsteps approaching, but I have the door open and I’m gone. I hear him trip over his chair and cuss. Just as I see him running out of his office the elevator doors close.

  What the fuckity fuck?!

  “YOU SHOULD MAYBE CONSIDER answering his calls. He seems to really want to talk to you.” That’s Patti, the traitor.

  “No, fuck him.” I slam another shot.

&n
bsp; “I mean maybe he wants to explain. I think the fifteen missed calls kinda say he does.”

  I cough into my hands. That shot may have overdone it. “Whose side are you on anyway?” I ask, wiping at my mouth.

  “Yours, always, but I just feel like you should talk to him. That last text message really kind of made me feel bad for him.”

  And that last text almost made me give in too.

  I told you I can never be done with you. I need to hear your voice. Please talk to me.

  I mean…any logical woman would call back after that. Even I partially convinced myself to call him back. But then there’s my other side. The side that is five shots deep in tequila and can’t get over what he did.

  “Hey, pumpkin.” I turn to see Jamie approach us and take a seat at the bar.

  I smile brightly, “What are you doing here?”

  “I called him. I knew I won’t be able to carry you out of here myself, so I needed reinforcements.”

  At that, I scrunch my already numbing nose. “No one’s going to have to carry me anywhere, it’s Monday,” I argue, holding up my hand to get the bartender’s attention.

  Seriously what do they think I am, an amateur?

  My head hits the frame of my door while Jamie carries me over his shoulder into my apartment.

  “Ouch,” I whine/laugh.

  “Sorry, cupcake, but you’re like dead weight right now.” Jamie makes it into my apartment and carries me back to my bedroom. He’s not too far off from me in the shit canned department. Patti ended up bailing on us since she had to get up so early for work, so the only good conscience about slowing down on the drinking, and focusing more on the calling, left with her.

  We make it to my bedroom and he tosses me on the bed, falling next to me. “Cupcake, your phone again.” Jamie mumbles as he lies next to me, trying to catch his breath. God I’m not that heavy. I grab my deadweight of a hand and scoop my phone from my back pocket. I stare at the screen keeping only one eye open. Sam… Again.

  Sam: I miss you. Please. Don’t do this.