by Gardner, A.
"Why is that such a big deal?"
"What did he say?" I blurt out. I turn towards him so our mouths are facing each other. My eyes lock onto his and can't rip away.
"He said I was too distant." His expression is soft again. A look that contrasted with the sharpness of his nose and jaw. But it made him look sincere. "He said it was because I had a problem opening up to people."
"Not me," I say quietly.
"I know." His hand lightly massages the back of my head, moving through each strand of caramel hair like they were strands of fine gold. I meant something to him, and after tonight he meant something to me.
Lost in each other's gaze, I lean even closer. The rest of the world is absent from my thoughts. My head buzzes again, sending me head first into a vision of Jack and I together. I can't object. I have no strength to remove myself this couch. I think back to the moment we'd first met. My heart drums as I remember my initial attraction to him.
Jack tightens his grip, moving his hands to my waist and my back. I feel my muscles relax and press into his. Jack waits for my approval before he kisses me. I rub my finger on his stubbled cheek. His chest flexes and he kisses me. He starts off slow, nibbling the corners of my mouth. Then he enjoys the full plumpness of my lips. Our tongues intertwine, exploring the unknown. He gently reclines, taking me with him until we're lying flat on the couch.
The thrill of his body against mine brings my blood to a boil. Heats simmers slowly throughout my limbs, creating pleasurable tingles that finally reach my thighs. Jack's hand moves to my stomach. He gently rubs the skin on my abs, kissing firmer until his mouth moves to my neck. I tilt my head back and close my eyes, breathing heavily. I open my mouth and let whatever noise I feel fit escape. Our rhythmic movements make me feel alive.
Chapter Eight
My eyes open in a bed with cotton sheets. Navy blue. My sheets aren't navy blue, and my bed doesn't face an open window. Sunlight pours into the room, adding to my pounding headache. I wrack my brain trying to remember what had happened last night. I vaguely remember the horror story courtesy of Dr. Perv. I rub my head, smoothing the blanket around me and the realization hits.
This wasn't my room.
These weren't my sheets. This wasn't my bed. I roll over and all my questions are answered. Jack is next to me. Shirtless. His muscles look like they've been chiseled into a tan block of clay. His chest slowly rises and though his eyes are closed, his heavy arm is closed around me. Oh no!
It's like a scene from a movie. Classic. I quietly try to crawl out from under Jack's arm. My jeans are on the floor. My head pounds as I wiggle out of his hold. I step onto the floor and grab my jeans.
"Hey," he softly opens his eyes. I freeze. "Where you going?" I turn to him, scared to ask him what went on between us. The memories are fuzzy and I'm praying the scene before me isn't what it looked like.
"Home?"
"Before breakfast?"
Crap. The breakfast line. I did sleep with him!
"Yes?" I stall for time.
"Is that a question?" He sits up, his full torso in view with a swirly tattoo that covered his shoulder. His eyes seem to yearn for mine. "Come back to bed. I'll make us something." The tone of his voices tempts me. My body wants to climb back into his embrace but my head is sounding the alarm. What are you doing? Rex is the one! Not Jack!
"I'm not hungry." I hurriedly dress myself and ignore the look of disappointment on his face. "Did we?" My head feels like it's being pricked with tiny needles. Jack grins. No! We couldn't have! And if we did, why the hell didn't I remember? That was a memory I'd like to evaluate.
"No," he answers. Relief.
"Oh."
"You don't remember?" he asks. I dig deeper and the image of Jack kissing me sends my heart into irregular beats. But was that a dream or was it real?
"No," I lie. "I just remember the party and . . ." The pain returns. I'm no longer numbed from the agony that had taken place. A scare that would rip open every time I walked down the halls of Harrison Memorial.
"Yeah," he hangs his head as if he understands. And strangely, I feel like he does. "That was unfortunate and most importantly, not your fault."
"Jack, what you did . . ." I swallow hard. "Thank you." He nods.
"A second thank you? I'm flattered." His light-heartedness helps me brush aside the bruising.
"What do I do at work tomorrow?" I blurt out. It was the first thing I thought about.
"You report him."
"I can't do that," I disagree. So everyone in the hospital could know what happened? So perv boy could make my life a living hell or conveniently get me fired?
"Why not?"
"It'll cause too many problems." I turn my head, blushing again. I still feel embarrassed that Jack had to see me at a low. Wide-eyed and screaming with no control of the situation. I should've been smarter. More alert.
"Nah." He stands up, flexing his core. My cheeks go from pink to scarlet. "That bastard deserves to be fired."
"And let's hope he doesn't try to sue you for what you did to his face."
"He'd have to remember me first," he chuckles. "Kat, he was plastered. I doubt he'll even remember what he did. But you should still report him."
"I'll think about it." I only say it to make him happy. "But I gotta go."
"Why?"
My head spins trying to think up an excuse. I couldn't stay. I had to get it together . . . somewhere else. "I have errands to run and . . . I'm supposed to be to my parent's for lunch." That was sort of true. I could call them and arrange it. I hadn't talked to Leah since Jenna's engagement party.
"Of course." He doesn't protest as I grab my things and run for the exit like a crazy person. But then I realize.
"Where's my car?"
* * *
My drive home with Jack was awkward but not as awkward as being back at work after mysteriously disappearing on Saturday. Sadie rushes down the hall. The look on her face tempts me to turn around and run.
"What happened to you?" She grabs the side of my arm so I can't escape.
"I uh . . . had to leave."
"You missed an epic titanic scene. Dr. Saxten totally iceburged." Her red locks fly across her face as she looks around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.
"Sadie, what does that even mean?"
"It means he's splitso." She looks around a second time. "He's gone."
"Gone where?" My heart leaps.
"After you left, he made a fool of himself. And in a drunken rage he totally grabbed Mrs. Nelson's assets! Mrs. Nelson. As in the Nelson pediatric wing?"
"So he's?" I feel like yelling through a megaphone.
"Been forced into a leave of absence until he can see a shrink about it."
"Wow." Suddenly things were looking up, and I didn't have to look into the face of my tormentor today. Maybe never again.
"Yeah wow," Sadie giggles. "Now tell me about you and Jack. Was he the one whose house you were stuck naked in?"
"Sadie," I hush. "Keep your voice down."
"I wouldn't have to ask except you always leave me out of the loop. I feel like a Jonas Brother without skinny jeans."
"Okay," I laugh. "I get the picture and it's freaky."
"See what I mean."
"It wasn't Jack," I admit. "I was at Rex's place." Her eyes open wider.
"You little-"
"Please don't say hussy." I was feeling bad enough that I'd promised myself to Rex. I'd gone further with Jack than I should have. "Jack and I just talked." I'd been lying a lot the past week."
"And . . ." Sadie knew I was holding back. She raises her eyebrows, waiting for the rest.
"I fell asleep in his bed. That's all." I see the wheels turning in her brain. Her face lights up. "That's all!" I turn the opposite direction. "I need to go check on Earl." Sadie shrugs and let's me go. I take a few calming breaths as I wander to Earl's new room. He was in critical condition and no longer on in my assigned section. I push open the door, relieved that I do
n't have to face Jack too. The room is empty except for an occupied hospital bed.
Earl has even more monitors at his side. The excessive tubes were probably driving him nuts. He smiles when he sees me but he can hardly turn his head. His skin is pale and his collar bones protrude through his gown.
"Kat." My heart sinks when I hear his raspy voice force itself to speak.
"Well look at you," I say, upbeat. "You're lookin' good."
"How many times have you lied today?" His look was smug. Um a lot.
"I came to see how they're treating you over here," I continue. It breaks my heart to see him this way.
"Well," he forces himself to say. "They don't sneak me Junior Mints from the cafeteria." I shrug.
"What's the matta?"
"Nothing," I reply, amazed at how well he could read me.
"You're face tells me otherwise."
I walk closer to his side, letting him squeeze my hand. His skin is dry and his hair is thinning.
"It's been an interesting week." That's the only way I could describe it.
"You're telling me," he says slowly. "Is my boy minding his manners?"
"Yes," I reassure him. "Don't worry about that."
"Jack is good kid." He turns his head away from the monitors, avoiding looking at the IV stuck in his hand. "When you've lived as long as me, the rough weeks don't really matter. Family matters. Friends matter. Don't give up what you got."
"I won't," I respond. I suddenly feel stressed that all these tubes and machines were keeping him hostage. It was clear to me that was not what he wanted. "You give good advice."
"I've seen lots of things," his raspy voice croaks. He coughs, covering his hand with his mouth. "Want to know my advice for you?" I nod, and Earl just smiles. "Someday, my dear. You come see me again and I'll tell you."
"Deal," I agree, though curious as to what he was thinking. I leave his room in a trance. Earl's hoarse words play over and over again in my head. I pull out my cell phone. It was time to stop being childish. Life wasn't supposed to a competition, and I was in a bind.
The phone rings and I get Holly's answering machine. I dial the number to the studio, expecting to hear her voice pick up.
"Grandview Dance Company, this is Sara."
"Oh," I respond. "Sorry I was hoping to speak to Holly. Is she there?"
"Oh Holly," the girl says sounding excited. "No I'm afraid she's on vacation."
"Vacation?"
"Yes. She took the week off to go to England. Isn't that exciting?"
My chest pounds and the blood in my veins pumps vigorously through my body. My forehead is so steamy it could grill a kabob. "WHAT!"
Chapter Nine
"She did what?" Leah yells at the television set. She resumes painting her fingers bright pink before the polish drips on the couch. Jenna clatters some pots and pans in the kitchen. "Quiet in there! I'm trying to watch a Kardashian throwdown." I see Jenna glare in her direction and bang the cupboards even louder. "Don't mind her . . . she just saw some pics from the engagement party." Leah's apartment reminded me of mine and Holly's in college. Fancy furniture covered with clothes and a kitchen that smells like cupcakes. That was the scented candle.
"Did you even hear what I said?" I repeat. She was the last person I could turn to. I was coming to my little sister for advice. The girl that would most likely ditch a final for a free manicure . . . okay spa treatment.
"Yeah I heard you. I knew you'd hit it off with that richy." She tosses her caramel curls. They were longer and curlier than mine.
"That's not the problem," I respond. "Look, are you going to turn that off or what?"
"I would but . . . someone deleted my saved recordings!" She finishes off her sentence with a yell into the kitchen. Jenna comes walking into the family room wearing a tank top and tiny shorts. Her short hair is wet and combed back, and her face looks like it's been freshly moisturized.
"Kat," she smiles. "So nice to see an Artino girl that knows how to keep her mouth shut at 2 a.m."
"You're complaining about that when you and Keith text all night every night?" Leah sits up looking smug.
"That's different," Jenna shouts.
"You're right," Leah giggles. "I meant to say sexting." Jenna stamps her foot and turns to me.
"Kat, I'd love it if you could make to my bridal shower next week. Looks like I might be cutting out an invitation." She marches to her room and slams the door. Leah is still smiling. Maybe Holly and I were perfect roommates back in the day.
"She'll come around," Leah comments. "She always does. Plus, I'm the one throwing the bridal shower so . . ."
"Right."
"So what's your dilemma big sis?" She finally mutes the TV and leans forward. "Hot guys? Sweet dilemma."
"It's more complicated than that, Leah. I'm . . ." I'd hardly admitted this to myself but I guess it was true. "I'm falling for two different guys." Leah raises her perfectly waxed eyebrows.
"Who? Rich guy?"
"Yes Rex is one," I nod. "And the other. A guy named Jack I met at the hospital a while back."
"And he's hot too, right?"
"Is that all you care about?"
"What?" She throws her arms out like I'm crazy. "Am I supposed to pretend that a healthy sex life doesn't add points?" Though I was in the dark on that one with both guys.
"Yes he's hot."
"Thank you," she replies. "Problem solved. Which one makes you happy?"
"If I really knew that I wouldn't be here."
She nods, pausing for a second and blows on her nails. I wasn't sure why I was coming to her for advice. Leah hadn't had a monogamous relationship since the third grade.
"Nah," she disagrees. "That can't be true."
"I assure you it is." Rex was perfect, but he had yet to experience the sarcasm and crying episodes. Well . . . not yet.
"Okay," she continues. "Which one are you most comfortable with?" I wasn't sure I could answer that either.
"I don't know?"
"Okay . . . you're making this really difficult," Leah mumbles.
"Kinda the reason why I'm sitting here." I rub my forehead. I couldn't stop thinking about London. Rex. And what Holly and Rex were doing over there. "Holly went to England." It flew out of my mouth. Leah looks shocked.
"Spill." She raises her eyebrows. "I knew something else was going on here."
"Holly and I aren't really speaking at the moment."
"Shocker," she mutters. I narrow my eyes. "What? This isn't the first time. Jus sayin'."
"You know the night I met Rex?"
"How could I forget?" She winks, lightly blowing on her nails again.
"Well . . . Holly met Rex too. That same night."
"Dang," she laughs. "That girl works fast."
"I don't think you get it sis. I'm seeing Rex. And Holly is seeing Rex! At least trying to."
"So tell her to back off," Leah suggests.
"Oh of course." My sarcastic reply was automatic. "Why didn't I think of that?"
"Cuz you're an idiot," she smiles. Leah stands up and retreats to the kitchen for a box of crackers. "It sounds to me like you already know what to do."
"Huh?"
"Think about it," she points out. "Rex is gettin' double action here, and I haven't heard a complication yet associated with the other guy. Choose the other guy."
"But there's an issue there too," I continue. "He's . . . well he's-"
"You say anything about the list and I slap you!"
"Hey," I stand up. "That list has saved me from years of heartbreak."
"And you've still never found the guy for you. Now why is that?" She sits on the kitchen counter and chomps on a cracker like her accusations are no big deal. Like she's not insulting the rule book by which I'd been living my life for almost ten years.
"Okay this was a mistake," I respond, grabbing my things. "I'll figure it out. I always figure stuff out." I speed walk towards the door.
"Hold it!" Leah shouts. She runs to the door
, a genuine look of concern on her face. "Kat, you need to take a good look at what's going on here. For once, take my advice."
"Your advice?"
"Yes," she laughs. "Take it from someone who's made every mistake in the book. Most of them."
"I can't believe you're actually admitting that."
"Yeah well." She tilts her head, a serious expression on her face. "No matter who you pick, make sure he's someone who will still love you at your absolute worst."
"Wow," I say in a low voice. "That's actually good advice."
"Yeah," she jokingly nudges me out the door. "Too bad I don't follow it myself."
* * *
I was in the middle of week two, waiting for a call from Rex, going insane that Holly had boarded a plane for England without telling me. And did I mention I was going insane? For once, I'd gotten some solid advice. I just wasn't sure what to do with it. As far as I could see neither guy had seen me at my absolute low . . . sort of. Rex had seen me make an absolute fool of myself in front of his colleagues and Jack was present for my scary closet incident. It was a draw.
I walk down the halls of Harrison Memorial a little skittish, hoping my cell phone would vibrate at any moment. Like Holly is really going to call you back. I spot Jack's face in the distance. It catches me off guard. I try not to blush as my brain rushes back to the night we'd spent together. Waking up in his bed confused me. It was . . . almost rejuvenating. The thought intrigued me.
"Kat," he speaks first.
"Jack." It was our first time speaking since the awkward ride home. I try to avoid the obvious subject immediately. "How's Earl doing?" Jack sighs, hanging his head.
"He's goin' fast Kat." The news we both knew was coming. I could feel a sharp pain start to pulse near my heart.
"Jack I'm so-"
"He's been asking to see you all morning," Jack continues.
"Really?"
He nods in the other direction. I follow his instructions and pop into Earl's room again. His face is paler and the tubes and monitors seemed to have sunk his spirits. His face looks sunken in and dry.
"Earl?" He can barely turn towards me.
"There you are," he whispers. He can't smile, and his eyes are only halfway open. I hold back a tear.
