Fin

by Larry Enright

  “Really?”

  “I should have told him this damn knee was your fault, too. It still hurts like a son-of-a-bitch.”

  “Thank you for saving my life, sir.”

  “No problem. We were already in position when I heard you were inbound. Sounded to me like an opportunity to draw Book out of his little pillbox and make it easier for us to take him down. Turns out I was right.”

  “You heard I was coming? Were you following me?”

  “Didn’t have to. I had Violet put a tracker on you. I figured it might come in handy someday.”

  Fin turned to Nova.

  “I had my orders," she said. "I’m sorry, Fin.”

  “I understand. What happens now?”

  Clayborn said, “They’ll take Book back to headquarters for processing. Murdering a bunch of worthless Cys is one thing. Destruction of government property is another.”

  “But Council . . .”

  “Yeah, I heard. You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”

  “Council is poisoning my people to save themselves. They must be stopped.”

  “That kind of bad-chatter is treason. You could get yourself recycled just for thinking it, Blue.”

  “It is the truth. You have Book. Get him to confess.”

  Clayborn tossed his cigarette at a Gray who had come up to them to beg for credits. When the beggar didn’t leave, Clayborn drew his gun and fired in the air. The Gray shuffled off into the darkness.

  Clayborn said, “One, he won’t. Two, nobody in their right mind would believe it. And three, even if they did, they would never admit it.”

  “Ben, you can’t let this go,” said Nova. “You know Fin’s right.”

  Clayborn lit another cigarette, exhaling a plume of blue smoke into the rain. “I could recycle your ass right now for that kind of insubordination, Violet, but I’m going to pretend we didn’t have this little conversation.” He poked Fin in the chest. “And you? I don’t want to ever see your ugly face again. I'm sick of your shit and I'm sick of you. Is that clear?” Fin nodded. Clayborn turned on Nova next. “As for you, I’ll be having words with Commander Roberts about you when I get back to HQ, and if I have my way, by close of business tomorrow you’ll be trading your uniform for overalls and working the Recon line next to your buddy here.”

  “You can’t do that, Ben.”

  “Yeah? Watch me.”

  “I’ll tell Dr. Shepherd.”

  “Not if you know what’s good for you.”

  Clayborn got into his Levcar and took off. The rain had picked up, creating a river of poison that overflowed the sewers and ran like a waterfall down the steps into the abandoned train station. The cleanup crew hauling body bags to the dumpster on the corner ignored Fin and Nova, sloshing through the dark waters in their protective gear.

  “We should get back,” Fin said.

  “Fin, I’m so sorry,” said Nova. “I wanted to tell you.”

  “It is all right. I understand.”

  They returned to Cyblock-101 where they found Mama curled up in a corner of the downstairs hall.

  “You’re alive?” she said. “I heard about the DDs and the train. They said it blew up. They said everyone was killed.”

  “Not everyone,” said Fin. “The SIA took Book into custody. Death’s Door is finished, Mama. You’re safe now.”

  Nova helped her up. “What are you doing down here anyway?”

  “Squatters don’t waste any time. They took over my place when they heard about Kron.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  “No, it’s fine,” said Mama. “Really. They can have it. Just let me die in peace.”

  “Mama, you cannot give up,” Fin pleaded. “I will not let you.”

  “It’s too late for that, honey. I already have.”

  “You have to believe that things can change. They will.”

  “I’m sorry, Fin. I don’t. Not anymore. Not you or anyone else can do a thing to help us now.”

  “How about we start by getting you back into your place?” Nova said, drawing her Pulser. “I have just the thing to convince those clowns to clear out.”

  “But it will not fire,” Fin said.

  “They don’t know that, just like Book didn’t know you were lying about his Pulser being set to full. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

  “I didn't either.”

  “Come on, Fin. Let’s take out the trash.”

  After driving the squatters out and putting Mama to bed, they returned to Nova’s apartment. Fin went to his room to get cleaned up. Later, when he came back into the common room, he found Nova relaxing on the sofa. She had changed out of her uniform and set the Homecom to rotate through scenes of a computer-rendered primeval forest. In it was a waterfall: so powerful, so beautiful, so perfect. A selection from Fin’s playlist was playing softly on the common room speakers. An open bottle of wine, two glasses, and a carafe of filtered ice water were set out on the coffee table beside a bowl of bio-engineered strawberries. Nova filled her glass with wine and downed it. When she noticed Fin staring, she motioned for him to come sit with her.

  He sat down and picked up the wine bottle, reading the label. “This does not bother your mouth sores?” he asked.

  She smiled, “Not anymore.”

  “How much of this have you had?”

  “Ask me again in a couple more glasses.”

  “You’re planning on drinking the whole bottle?”

  “Sure. Why not? It’s been a hell of a day.”

  “Yes, it has.”

  “Have some. It’s the last bottle from that case Dr. Shepherd sent over. It’s really good, Fin.”

  “No, thank you.”

  “How about some strawberries? They’re your favorite.”

  “I am fine, thank you.”

  “You don’t look fine.”

  Fin poured himself a glass of water.

  “Listen,” said Nova. “I’m really sorry about that tracker. I should have said something.”

  “You were only following orders.”

  “Then why are you looking at me like I just stuck a knife in your back?”

  Fin picked up his water glass and stared into it. “What right have we to do this?” he said. “We poison the land we walk on, the very air we breathe, the water we drink, and for what? To prove we have the right to rule over this hell we have created?”

  “The water isn’t poison, Fin. The Homecom reminds maintenance to change the filters every two weeks. And the air here is fine, as good as in the city.” Her frustration grew when he didn’t respond. “And there’s nothing wrong with my food. It’s not like it’s Recon or anything.”

  He set the glass down.

  “What?” she said. “Now you’re not going to drink the water? Are you going to stop breathing and eating, too? Come on, Fin. I know I was wrong not to tell you about the tracker, but don’t take it out on me. It’s not my fault everything’s messed up.”

  “We are all to blame for this.”

  The music stopped. The vids shut off. The apartment lights blinked out. The raspberry-and-quince scented air stopped circulating. Without windows, it was pitch dark.

  “You have got to be kidding me,” Nova said. “This is Ben’s doing. I’m calling Dr. Shepherd.”

  As she took out her Commlink, the lights came on again. The air started up. The vidscreens returned to the mythical forest of waterfalls and classical music. The Homecom announced, “Council has temporarily shut off power to Cyblocks 101, 110, and 111 to provide additional resources for Reconstitute plants Two and Three. They estimate we will be back online in three days. Shall I conserve backup power to ensure we remain up and running through the outage, ma’am?”

  Nova sighed. “You do that.”

  The lights dimmed. The Homecom replaced the hi-def forest with a low-power holographic fireplace and reduced the apartment temperature to minimum, pumping heat only from the vents behind the fireplace as if that were what was warming the room. I
t replaced the scents of raspberry and quince with the smell of burning cedar and a just hint of smoke. Instead of music, it played the sound of a fire crackling. “Is this acceptable, ma’am?” it asked.

  “Not bad. Not bad at all.” She poured another glass of wine and moved closer on the sofa to Fin, the raspberry and quince still in her hair. “We can do this for a few days, right?”

  He nodded and took a sip of water.

  “Finally,” she said. “I was beginning to wonder if this was it.”

  “It?”

  “You know, the end? As in you’re too guilty to take advantage of anything this messed up world has to offer and you’re thinking of moving out and living on the streets again. You aren’t, are you?”

  “Do you want me to stay?”

  “You have to. We have a mole to find.”

  “What is the point of helping a corrupt government that perpetuates a world like this?”

  “Fin, if we don’t find that mole, Ben really will have grounds to have me fired. Then what? I’ll lose the apartment, the good food, the clean water, everything.” She hesitated, setting her glass down. “I’ll lose you, Fin.”

  “Me?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean you’re an idiot and everything, but deep down under that cute bald head and those sexy blue eyes you’re a real pain in the butt.”

  “I was programmed to observe, and my observation is that you are quite drunk.”

  She laughed, spilling her wine. She swore and downed what was left in the glass, then set it down on the table. She touched his cheek. “Seriously, Fin, of course I care about you. I care about you a lot. You’re not like the others. You’re not like anyone I've ever met. You’re a one-of-a-kind. You’re always trying to help people, even the ones who couldn’t care less about you. You really do want to make things better. And it doesn’t matter if everyone shits on you in the process. You just keep going because it’s the right thing to do. What kind of person does that? I’ll tell you what kind—the right kind. Plus, you really are sexy in a crazy kind of way.”

  Fin leaned into her touch, looking deeply into her eyes. “Nova, I am proficient in every known language including many no longer in use, but I . . .”

  She put a finger to his lips before he could say any more. “Shh. No more talking.” Her kiss was unexpected, incomprehensible, like words spoken in the one language Fin did not understand.

  Chapter 12

  I have given you intelligence, but do not mistake it for all-knowing wisdom. The universe is vast and you are but a minor facet of this infinite entanglement of every living thing and every possible action and reaction. To think you understand it all is a rationalization. To think you are above your God is a tragic mistake. Without me, there is no hope. Without me the sun will not rise again.

  The sun wasn’t shining. It never shined on Cytown. Yet the sun was a brilliant orange ball rising over the dark waters of some vidscreen-generated mythic ocean that next morning, bringing the lie of a bright new dawn to an ever-dark world. Nova had selected Homecom’s “Sunrise Over the Ocean Option Twelve,” her favorite. She wanted to see the sunrise while she made breakfast. She wanted to hear the waves lapping on the shore. She wanted to feel the sting of the salt breeze on her face. It didn’t matter that it was all an illusion. She didn’t care that they were running on backup power. She wanted to see it. Fin felt himself being drawn into that illusion made so real by technology, allowing himself to think just for a moment that despite the hopelessness he had locked away somewhere inside that morass of blue polyclonic tissue, all really could be well with his world if only every night could be like the last.

  But moments are fleeting. Time is ephemeral. He switched to the news. The lead story wasn’t about the destruction of Cyblock-202. It wasn’t about the tragic deaths of thousands of innocents and the ongoing struggle of the survivors. It wasn’t about the elimination of one of the most deadly gangs in Cytown either. It was about the capture of the Cybernite prowler who for weeks had been terrorizing citizens in Periculum’s exclusive Hill Sector. The police were parading the frightened Gray in shackles in front of the cameras for all to see while the Mayor proclaimed that it was due to the tireless efforts of Periculum’s finest that the streets were safe once more. Criminals had taken his son from him, but they would never take his city. The Drab was to be publicly recycled later that day as a warning to anyone foolish enough to threaten Periculum. Live coverage would begin at noon. Attendance for all Cybernites within city limits at that time was mandatory.

  “Why’d you switch the vid?” Nova said. “Turn it back. 2-D only, though, no holo. You know how I hate it when I get sand in my eggs.”

  “The holographic sand is not real,” Fin replied.

  “I guess that joke wasn’t either. Come on, Fin. Time for breakfast.”

  Fin switched the vidscreen back to the digitally constructed ocean sunrise and joined Nova at the table.

  When she noticed him picking through his food, she asked, “Is something wrong with the eggs?”

  “No, they are fine,” he replied. “You are an excellent cook, Nova.”

  “And you’re a liar.”

  He looked up from his plate realizing he had been daydreaming, though about what he couldn’t recall. “What did you say?”

  “I said if they’re fine, why aren’t you eating them? What’s wrong, Fin? I used your favorite spices.”

  “It is not the eggs.”

  “Then what?”

  He shrugged. “I am not hungry.”

  “Suit yourself. I’m starving.” She dug in. When she looked up again, he still wasn't eating. “This isn’t that ‘guilt over eating real food’ thing again, is it? I thought we were over that.”

  “I do not know.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Because I know you, Fin, and you always know. Look, if you really want to go back to eating Recon because it makes you feel less guilty, go for it. Just not around me, OK? As long as I don’t have to look at that disgusting stuff or smell it or think about what’s in it or what it’s doing to you, I’m fine.”

  “I do not want Reconstitute, thank you.”

  “Then would you please eat the eggs?”

  “I am sorry, Nova. I cannot.”

  “Are you sick?”

  “No, although my stomach feels like it is tied in knots.”

  “So something is bothering you?”

  “Many things are bothering me, but I do not think this is related to them.”

  “You really should try to eat something.”

  “Perhaps later.”

  Nova threw up her hands. “OK. I give up. You win.” She picked up a section of a genetically engineered orange and bit down on it, squirting juice everywhere. “Oops,” she laughed. “I guess that’s why my mother always told me to chew with my mouth closed.”

  “Your mother?” Fin asked.

  She took another bite, her violet lips puckering at the fruit’s sourness.

  Fin said again, “You have a mother?”

  She stared at him, then shrugged. “It’s just an expression. It doesn’t mean I actually have a mother.”

  Fin cleared his throat. “About last night.”

  She put the fruit down. “Oh. That’s what this is about. I should have known. I guess we need to talk.”

  “Nova, you should know,” Fin began.

  She stopped him. “Before you say another word, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about what happened last night. OK?”

  “Wrong idea?”

  “Fin, it was just one of those things. You know what I mean?”

  “Things?”

  “You know. Cozy fire. Too much wine. One thing led to another. That’s all it was.” She reached across the table and took his hand. “Don’t look so down. You had a good time, right?”

  He smiled. “Yes, I enjoyed the intimate physical contact very much.”

  She laughed. “Great. That makes two
of us. I just don’t want you to think there was any more to it than that, OK? It was just one of those right place right time things. Period. End of story.”

  “I do not think I want the story to end, Nova.”

  “It doesn’t have to. I'm OK with having sex whenever the mood strikes, especially if Dr. Shepherd sends over a few more bottles of that wine."

  “That is not what I am trying to say.”

  “Then what are you trying to say, that you’re in love with me or something?”

  “My analysis of my emotional state leads me to believe that I am.”

  “Your analysis? Wow.” She let go of his hand and sat back. “Fin, you’re a piece of work. I mean you’re really sweet and all. You’re the nicest, most honorable Cy I know. Turns out you’re pretty good in bed, too, but that’s not love. Love is different. I mean I care about you. I care about you a lot, but not that way.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just don't."

  “But why not?"

  “Because I can’t. I can't fall in love with you, Fin. There's just no way.”

  “Why not?”

  “I just can’t, OK?”

  “I do not understand. Love is an emotion programmed into every Cybernite.”

  “This isn’t about programming. It’s about how we feel about each other, and obviously we don’t feel the same.” She studied his reaction. “For as smart as you are, you just don’t get it, do you?”

  Fin shook his head.

  “Maybe you should talk to Dr. Shepherd. He’s a guy. He can explain it to you.” Nova stood up. “I have to get going. Ben and I are working a stakeout in the Industrial Sector and he wants me there early.”

  “I thought he was going to have you fired.”

  “Me, too, but I guess he was just doing his usual ‘shoot first and ask questions later’ thing. He texted me earlier that he was giving me one more chance, and I’m not going to blow it. I’ll see you later, OK?”

  Fin got up and came around the table. “I am sorry if I made things more difficult for you, Nova. That was never my intention.”