Fin

by Larry Enright

  Nova screamed at Shepherd, “Are you crazy? You said the gun wasn’t live. He could have killed you.”

  “What are you talking about?” said Fin.

  “Tell him, Doctor!” Nova cried. “You have to tell him before this goes any further.”

  “Tell me what?” Fin demanded.

  “About the experiment. Tell him now, Doctor, or I will.”

  Shepherd folded his arms across his chest and smiled.

  “What experiment?” said Fin.

  “You,” Nova replied. “You’re the experiment, Fin. Dr. Shepherd was testing your loyalty programming. That’s what this was all about. That’s why he did all those horrible things to you. Oh, Fin, I’m so sorry. I begged him to call it off. I wanted to say something weeks ago but he told me I wouldn’t get paid if I did. He said he’d make sure I never worked again.”

  “I don’t understand.” The gun wavered in Fin’s hand.

  “Fin, listen to me. You know how I said we’re different? We’re not just different people who want different things out of life. We’re a different species. I’m human. They dyed my skin and my hair purple. They coached me how to act and think like a Cy. I spent months in extemporaneous scripting sessions. I’m an actress, Fin. Dr. Shepherd hired me as part of his test of your loyalty programming. That’s all this was—a test. He made it all up. Understand? No agents died. The shield isn’t going to shut down. Everyone’s safe. Now, please, put the gun down before you hurt somebody.”

  Fin shook his head. “The evidence, my memories . . . No. This is real.”

  “It isn’t. You have to believe me. The doctor’s been following your every move. Every security camera, every listening device—he has access to them all. Didn’t you ever wonder how Esse seemed to pop up in the strangest places? Like at the train station when you almost got yourself killed? Or when you were thinking about committing suicide? Didn’t that seem the least bit strange to you? My God, Fin. Even Francis was in on it.”

  “Francis is my friend.”

  “No, he’s not. You’re a Cy, a research subject. That’s all you are to him. Didn’t it seem just a little too easy how he volunteered to help you, knowing he could lose his job or worse? Didn’t it seem at least a little too convenient how he just happened to have access to a neural projector? That projector wasn’t projecting your memories for you to see. It was projecting into your memories what Dr. Shepherd wanted you to see. He wanted you to think he was traitor who's been using us. He set this whole thing up. He’s been trying all this time to break you, Fin. I’m so sorry. I really am. This is all so wrong. I had no idea how cruel he could be. By the time I realized it, it was too late.”

  “But the override code. You reacted to your override code. You remembered.”

  “I'm an actress. I did that to make you think I was being used, too. Fin, I am so sorry.” She began to cry.

  Fin turned the gun on Shepherd. “Is this true?”

  “I see two possibilities,” said Shepherd. “Either you have a father who used his son in a merciless experiment, a sadistic old man who subjected his poor innocent child to unending torture, suffering, and near-death. Or you have a vile traitor who used you to bring about Armageddon. In the end, does it matter which? The result is the same. Pull the trigger, Fin. End this despicable life of mine in either the name of justice or for the sake of revenge. I don’t care which. I am ready to die.” Shepherd stepped into the gun, latching onto it, pressing it hard against his chest. “You’ve always done the right thing, my perfect son. Don’t let me down now.”

  “Fin, don’t,” cried Nova.

  The Pulser shook in Fin’s hand. “I can’t,” he said. “As much as it seems right, I just can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.” Shepherd clasped his hand over Fin’s, pressing against his trigger finger. “I’ll help you.”

  Nova pulled Shepherd away. “Stop it!” she shouted. “For God’s sake, stop this before he kills you.”

  Shepherd’s reply was strangely calm. “But my dear, this is what your God wants.”

  “Stop it! You’ve proved your point. The experiment is over.”

  “Not quite.”

  Fin brought the gun to bear on Shepherd. “If death is what you truly wish for . . .”

  “That’s it, son. You can do this.”

  Nova stepped between them. “Fin, don’t.”

  “Move,” he said.

  “Don’t do it, Fin. I beg you. You’re better than this.”

  “How would you know? You are one of them.”

  “What I am doesn’t matter. Who you are does, and you’re not a killer. You’re a kind, loving person.”

  “Whatever love I felt was wasted. Dr. Shepherd is right. This civilization is based on hatred. There is nothing left for me to love.”

  Nova moved into the gun until it pressed into her pullover. “You’re wrong about that.”

  Hope is a strange flame. It can take an ocean to drown but a mere spark to rekindle. Fin lowered the Pulser. They embraced.

  The door to the room burst open. Ben Clayborn moved in quickly behind the barrel of his Pulser. “Well, well, well. Touching. Break it up, you two, and lose the gun, Blue.”

  They separated. Fin set the Pulser on the floor.

  “Yours too, Violet. Nice and easy.”

  “Ben,” she began. “Thank God, you’re here.”

  “I said, drop the piece.”

  “Ben, listen to me. Dr. Shepherd has gone off the deep end.”

  “Is that a fact?”

  “You have no idea.”

  “I’ve got a pretty good idea. Last chance, Violet. Drop it or I drop you where you stand.”

  She let her Pulser fall to the floor beside Fin’s.

  “It seems the proverbial cavalry has arrived,” said Shepherd, picking up the antique gun. “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Agent Clayborn.”

  “No problem, Doc.”

  “Ben, what are you doing?” said Nova.

  “Protecting the old paycheck, Violet. I’m what you call damage control. Doc hired me on for his little experiment to keep an eye on you two in case things went sideways, which it looks like they did. What do you think, Doc? Should I dust them now or do you want to turn them into some nasty kind of Cy food?”

  Nova said, “Ben. I’m telling you, the experiment’s over. Dr. Shepherd has lost it.”

  Clayborn turned his gun on her. “You don’t know when to shut up, do you? I guess that makes you first.”

  Fin stepped between them. “No."

  “Well, Blue, looks like you just saved me the trouble of pulling this trigger twice, you pathetic excuse for a Cy. Have I told you lately how tired I am of putting up with your crap, always thinking you’re smarter than me? You make me sick. And Violet there’s no better, yammering day and night: Fin this, Fin that, he’s so cute. I’m sick of it, I tell you. Let me dust these two, Doc. You can always make more, right?”

  Fin said, “You can kill me for what I am, but Nova is no Cybernite. She is as human as you.”

  “She told you that, did she? Let me clue you in, bub. She’s a robot through and through. The doc here made her extra special just for you. I was there at the christening.”

  “That’s a lie,” said Nova. “What kind of game are you playing, Ben?”

  “The only game in town. Go ahead. Tell her, Doc.”

  Nova confronted Shepherd. “What is he talking about?”

  Shepherd shrugged. “Your memories of your parents, of your life as an actress, of your friends, everything you recall before waking up one morning in your cozy little apartment in Cyblock-101 was implanted by me when you were created. Every detail was one I came up with for your part in this little charade.”

  “That’s not true. I have a mother and a father. I have a life.”

  “Really? What do your parents do, my dear?”

  “My father works for the government and my mother is a nurse.”

  “And when was the last time you saw them?
”

  “Just before you hired me.”

  “And you told them that you would be out of touch for a while, didn’t you, so you haven’t actually seen them since you became an agent?”

  “That was your idea not mine.”

  Shepherd motioned to a vidscreen and said, “Because they don’t exist. Science is your mother and father, my dear Nova.”

  The screen came on. A playback began. The timestamp was one day before Fin first met Nova on a Periculum street with Dr. Shepherd and Semperesse. The location stamp was the surgical amphitheater at Polyclonic Technologies. Dr. Shepherd was standing next to an operating table where Nova lay eyes-wide, her violet skull bared, exposing her brain. The doctor was pointing out to the Council members, scientists, and med-techs in the gallery how her construction included memories to make her think she was a human playing the role of a Cybernite. Every detail: from Fin’s searching for a non-existent mole, to his firing, to his meeting the sympathetic but reluctant Nova; every experience: from his encounters with Book, to his time at the factory, to his fall into the depths of despair; everything was a necessary part of the experiment to prove the absolute loyalty to Periculum of the Fin unit.

  “They thought this was all a loyalty experiment. You lied to them, too,” Fin realized.

  “Of course, I did, son. You don’t seriously think you could have gotten away with it otherwise, do you? Seen enough?” Shepherd said to Nova.

  “I’m not a damned Cy,” she insisted.

  Shepherd froze the playback. “Recognize those two in the gallery? They work in fabrication at my lab.”

  She gasped.

  Shepherd said, “That’s right—your mother and father. Their names escape me at the moment, but I only required their cooperation in a few simple scenes that became integral parts of your memories. I can list the exact ones we implanted if you like. Perhaps that would prove to you once and for all that you’re not human.”

  Nova began to sob uncontrollably.

  Fin put his arms around her. “It’s all right,” he said.

  “No, it isn’t.” She pushed him away and screamed at Shepherd, “You bastard! I hate you!”

  Clayborn laughed. “What’s the matter, Violet? Panties in a bunch because Doc’s been playing you and your boyfriend like a nanofiddle? What I don’t get is why the hell you care. You’re just another dirty Cy.”

  “Screw you, Ben.”

  “Sorry, you’re not my type. Maybe if Doc put together a nice blonde for me . . .”

  Fin said, “This city, this Great War, the Eastern Bloc, the dead agents, all of it was a lie.”

  “Are you regretting now your decision not to kill me?” said Shepherd.

  “No, I am not.”

  Shepherd checked his watch and slid it back into his pocket. “No worries. There’s still time to change your mind.”

  “No, this isn’t right,” said Nova. “That tape is a hoax, Dr. Shepherd. I know because I was pretending to be in pain from those fake data sticks, but you told me I wasn’t making it look real enough, so each time I went for my check-in you had Francis make a tiny incision so it would actually hurt.”

  Shepherd shrugged. “I used your override code to make you believe I was not controlling you, my dear. It was crucial to my plan that you think you were human, but I assure you, the pain was quite real because the data sticks were real.”

  “Hold the phone,” said Clayborn. “What do you mean the data sticks were real? You told us they were dummies.”

  “What I mean is that they’re not the only ones who have been played like a nanofiddle, Agent Clayborn,” Shepherd replied.

  “You want to tell me what you’re talking about?”

  “He’s talking about how he’s going to destroy everything,” said Nova. “I thought it was just an awful experiment gone wrong, but now I know the truth. We’re all dead and you’ve been helping him just like we have.”

  “That’s the craziest bad-chatter I’ve ever heard.”

  “Agent Clayborn,” said Fin. “Whatever he told you was a lie. He has been using us to steal the plans for a device that will bring down the Periculum shield and destroy the city.”

  “You don’t seriously expect me to believe that, do you, Blue?”

  Nova said, “It’s not just the city, Ben. It’s the world. Don’t believe us? Ask him. Go ahead.”

  Clayborn turned to Shepherd. “Got anything to add to this little discussion, Doc?”

  “Indeed I do,” Shepherd said. “I hired you to protect my investment, did I not?”

  “Yeah, and?”

  “I’ve made you a very rich man. That was our agreement.”

  “I get that. I’ve got a nice skyline apartment all picked out for my early retirement. Now skip to the part where the evil scientist destroys the planet.”

  “I’m afraid what I failed to mention, Agent Clayborn, was that your riches and that new arm of yours would be somewhat short-lived.”

  Shepherd took out his old pocket watch, the one he always kept clipped to his jacket by a gold chain. Flipping it open, he ran his thumb over the glass protecting its face, just like he always did before checking the time. “Such a lovely little instrument to mark the passing of time, don’t you think?” He clicked the watch’s stem four times. The lights flickered. The room shuddered. The Ark thrummed. Then as abruptly as it had begun, the disturbance passed. Shepherd snapped the watch shut and put it away.

  “What just happened?” said Nova.

  “As they say,” said Shepherd, “time’s up.”

  “You shut down the shield,” Fin said.

  “You should have killed me when you had the chance, son. Now it’s too late for them, but not too late for vengeance." Shepherd tried to force his Pulser on Fin. "Take it. Kill me. I deserve it. You know I do. And you deserve to be the one to take this wretched life from me.”

  Fin refused the gun. “No, Dr. Shepherd. No one deserves to die any more than they deserve to live.”

  “You think not? Then take a look at this.” He gestured and the vidscreen came on again. Periculum’s pristine sky had gone dark. The endless beautiful days were beautiful no more. The massive skeleton that once had held in place myriad nanoparticles now stretched into the black night like the ribcage of an animal picked clean by vultures. Swirling, unforgiving nanoclouds were descending into the city with the rain, disintegrating every living thing they touched.

  “What the hell?” said Clayborn.

  “Oh, my God,” Nova gasped.

  “What do you think of me now, son?" Shepherd said. “Take the gun. Prove me right. This is your last chance."

  Again, Fin refused. “I have never taken a life, Dr. Shepherd. I will not begin with yours.”

  Shepherd stared at the Pulser, confused. "How can this be? How could I have been so wrong? Oh my dear, Naamah, I am so sorry.” His expression hardened. “But what’s done is done." He turned to Ben Clayborn. "I was not expecting to need you to finish the job, Agent Clayborn, but in a world of cause and effect what kind of scientist would I be if I didn’t plan for every contingency? It seems the understudy must step to his spot on center stage to assume a more important role in this play’s final act.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” said Clayborn.

  “I’m talking about why I sent for you so urgently. Did you really think it was to protect me from them? Hardly. I long for death. In fact, I demand it.”

  Clayborn raised his weapon. “Happy to oblige, you crazy old bastard.”

  Shepherd looked over at Fin. “I’m so sorry, my perfect son. God be with you and with us all.”

  Noah Shepherd turned his gun on Ben Clayborn. Fin cried out and jumped between them as both men fired.

  Chapter 15

  You are not here to serve me. You are here to fill your cup and when your end comes pass it on to those who follow. Let them not drink the poison of your hatred. Rather let them drink of the spirit of your love.

  Fin opened his eyes, disorie
nted, unable to recall how or why he had gotten into such an uncomfortable chair. The room was unfamiliar, the lights painfully bright. The last thing he remembered was a hissing sound and a crackle of air. He remembered being surprised. And what was that smell? Something burning? Whatever had happened had stopped time, but now time was struggling to resume its journey just as he was struggling to get up. He couldn’t move. A web of electrodes, tubes, and wires had him anchored to a bank of computers across the room. They hummed and clicked, clicked and hummed, annoying, incessant. Something else was clicking and humming, too. Something closer by, hovering over his arm, the one he tried to flex, the one that was not his to control. Fin struggled to focus on the surgical robot methodically reweaving his blue polyclonic bone, nerves, and tissue. Then he remembered the two Pulsers firing, his hand disintegrating, his flesh drifting to the floor in a red haze. He should be dead, yet somehow he was not. Or was he dead and just not aware of it yet? No. That was a contradiction. He felt a light touch on his other arm. It was Nova. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Dr. Shepherd?” he whispered through saliva-encrusted lips.

  Nova shook her head. “He's gone. Ben, too. Just like that. How are you feeling?” She touched a wet cloth to his lips. He drew in the moisture gratefully.

  “Alive,” he said. “What is this place?”

  “Esse told me it’s where she does repairs and maintenance on us.” Nova looked around the room, as if she were the patient hearing the diagnosis of her untreatable condition for the first time. “I thought I was acting, Fin. I actually thought I was pretty good at it, too. With this gig on my résumé I was finally going to be somebody, get a good role in a vidseries, a nice loft in the Arts Sector, comps at the finest restaurants, maybe even a movie deal. Completely fooled you, didn't I? Turns out, the only fool was me.” She exhaled deeply. “You have no idea what it’s like to find out your whole life was a bit part in somebody else’s B-movie.”

  “What happened to your hand?” Fin said.

  Her violet skin was a patchwork of scratches and dried blood. “This?" she said. "You should have seen me trying to wash the dye off. But guess what? It doesn’t come off. This is me. This is who I really am.” Her voice cracked. “I’m such an idiot, a traitorous purple Cy idiot who helped a maniac destroy the world. How could I be so stupid?”