Sin Bin (FU HOCKEY)

by Mandi Beck

  I remember that day. I treated her like shit and regretted it ever since. I don’t know why I cared so much about anyone finding out, especially the guys. The league would definitely not be thrilled, but my boys wouldn’t have given a shit. Hell, they’d probably be jealous. The only twenty-year-olds we have a shot of banging are puck bunnies, and Stella wasn’t even close.

  “Is that what you came to tell me that day?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” she bites out, pulling her scarf around her neck to ward off the cold air swirling around us.

  I think back to that day and try to do the math. It was my turn to have the Cup and I came home with it. Then Stella showed up at my door and I acted a-fucking-fool.

  The guys are posing with the Cup and snapping pictures when the doorbell rings. I put down my bottle of beer and go to answer—it’s gotta be our takeout.

  “Coming!” I call, although I’m sure the delivery guy can’t hear me over the noise in my apartment. Throwing the door open, I feel the smile fall from my face as if it were melting off. Stella stands in front of me, holding up two brown paper bags of food. Quickly, I close the door behind me, snuffing out the sound of the raucous laughter from my friends.

  “Caught the delivery boy in the lobby, and told him I’d bring it up. Hope you don’t mind, I gave him a tip and signed the slip for you.” She shrugs.

  “Stella, what are you doing here? You can’t be here like this. I mean, we’re not...like that,” I bite out, with a little less tact than I probably should have.

  She lowers her arms, the food dangling at her sides, and she tilts her head, looking at me like she’s just seeing me for the first time. Maybe she is. I mean, we fucked around a few times and had a whole lot of fun. The weekend we spent together was probably one of the best times I’ve had in way too long. I was able to just be me. No bullshit. We laid around and talked and just hung out. And fucked. A lot.

  But...she’s a college student. I don’t need some stage-five clinger hanging around. I can’t even call her a puck bunny because she didn’t know who I was until I told her, and up until now, I hadn’t heard from her once. Not that she had a way of getting a hold of me. Regardless, I need to shut her down, right here and now, before she goes and gets attached or some shit. And definitely before any of the guys find out. I’ll never live it down. Never mind that I would love to take her inside and let her do all kinds of things to me, if only she weren’t a twenty-year-old kid.

  Not that she looks like one. There’s nothing childlike about Stella Cruz. She’s all woman, with her dark wavy hair, long lean lines, rounded hips, and eyes so dark they look like pools of black ink.

  She interrupts my wayward thoughts, and I can tell by her tone it’s about to go down.

  “Ahhhh, I get it. Your friends are here, and you don’t want them to know you messed around with some chick from FU, is that it?”

  “Stell—”

  “No, I get it. I’m good enough to fuck all over your fancy apartment, but we wouldn’t want anyone to know you were slummin’ it.”

  “It’s not slummin’, Stella, you’re fucking twenty,” I hiss. “A student, for fuck’s sake. You know what they would say about me in the league if they knew that while I was checking on their draft pick, I went ahead and fell into some college-aged pussy?”

  There’s that Dagger temper, the one that always gets me into trouble on the ice, coming out to play. I’m pretty sure it was the “slummin’ it” dig. Like, because she’s from Lynn and not Cambridge, or because I’m a pro athlete, I don’t want to be seen with her. Fuck that. It’s her damn age I’m worried about.

  “Yeah Jason, twenty. Way past legal, you asshole. You act like I’m some sixteen-year-old little girl. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a fucking adult.”

  Oh, I noticed. I noticed a lot. But still there’s a ten-year age gap that is way too wide to be acceptable.

  Her voice raises in anger as she goes on. “You didn’t seem to mind my age when I was going down on you. Or when you had me spread across your kitchen counter, and especially not when we fucked in the hot tub on your balcony.”

  I really don’t need these visuals right now. The last thing I need is to get hard over this girl and her sassy-ass mouth and attitude. But just thinking about the way her perky tits bobbed on the water in time with her bobbing on my cock...

  “Keep your voice down, Stella. And watch your damn mouth.” I take hold of her elbow, guiding her further down the hall and away from my door. She jerks her arm free and thrusts the food bags at me.

  “Don’t tell to watch my mouth,” she grinds out, her teeth clenched.

  Never in my life have I felt the urge to lay someone across my lap and paddle their ass until this moment. I’m gonna blame it on the way her ripped jeans cling to her thighs and the dip of her hips, or how I can tell she doesn’t have a bra on under the cropped shirt she’s wearing. Yeah, I need to get her the hell out of here.

  “So, what, you came here looking for an encore? Another dip in the hot tub, maybe a neighbor will catch us this time?” I ask, stepping closer, forcing her to back up, even as I continue forward.

  “In your dreams.” Her eyes narrow into slits.

  “Maybe.” I smirk. “Most definitely in yours, if you’re here, right?”

  With a fingertip, I trace the shell of her ear and let it trail down her neck to the spot I know drives her crazy. “You come back for more, Stell? Four days wasn’t enough? Or maybe...maybe, you need a little more to go back and tell your friends about?”

  Stella swats my hand away and pushes against my chest. “Don’t flatter yourself, Dagger. You weren’t that good.”

  I laugh at her blatant lie. “I had scratches down my back that tell me I was.”

  “Whatever you have to tell yourself. Have a nice life,” Stella says as she storms away, not even bothering with the elevator and instead taking the stairs.

  “Is it, Stell?” Thinking back on that day has me softening my tone.

  “Would you believe me if I said yes?” she asks with the tiniest hint of a wobble underneath all that bravado.

  “Yes.” I don’t know who is more surprised by that response, me or her. But it never crossed my mind to doubt her. I may not have known Stella for long, but I feel like in those few days, I got to know more than her body. I got to know her character and who she is in those hours we spent naked in my bed. If she says the baby is mine, then it is.

  Six

  Stella

  I must have misheard him. It has to be the surprise of seeing him standing here, in the parking lot. How did he even know where to look for me?

  “Just like that? I say it’s yours and you believe me?” I question in shock.

  “Yes, Stella. Just like that,” he replies.

  “You’re not as smart as I thought then. Too many hits to the head probably.”

  “Might be.”

  “What if I’m lying? Just trying to pin a baby on you, so I can cash out.” I shake my head at him, part of me wanting to smack some sense into him. The other part is so relieved I can barely breathe.

  “Are you?”

  This is not the Jason Dagger I know. Granted, I don’t know him that well, but still. The Jason I spent time with ran hot. Almost like he had too much passion or pent-up…something, simmering just under his skin. Testosterone, most likely.

  “No. Of course not. But I could be.”

  “No, I don’t think you could.” His tone is low, trusting. Too damn trusting. Doesn’t he have an agent to warn him about this kind of thing? Why am I so upset that he believes me? I should be happy. Relieved. But here I am, aggravated with him. Hormones, man.

  “Can we go someplace and talk? Its cold out here.”

  “You’re used to being on the ice.” He’s right, though. It’s cold as hell, my feet hurt, and my back is screaming. I would give anything to sit down and put my feet up.

  “But you aren’t,” Jason points out, surprising me yet again with his com
passion. “We can go to your place if you want.”

  “You don’t want to talk in my dorm. There’s less privacy there than in the middle of the dining room.” I jerk a thumb over my shoulder at the restaurant.

  “You’re in a dorm?” he asks, confused.

  “Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate. I wasn’t embarrassed to tell him that I couldn’t afford my apartment and tuition, since I only have a partial scholarship now. I just didn’t want him to think I was working him over for money.

  “Okay. We can go to my place then.”

  It’s clear he’s not going to let this go. The sooner I answer all of his questions, although I don’t know what he wants to know, the sooner I can go to bed. I have a nine o’clock class tomorrow morning.

  “Fine. I have to swing by my place and change, though, because the smell of food on me makes me sick.” I walk past him to his truck, hoping to God I can manage to get into it without any help.

  “That’s fine. Do you need help getting in?” His question is met with a glare over the bed of his shiny midnight blue truck. Lifting his hands in surrender, he presses the button to unlock the doors, coming over to my side to open mine for me.

  “I have it. I’m already pregnant, you can save the chivalry for someone who isn’t carrying your baby,” I snap. God, I don’t want to be a bitch, I don’t. I just can’t seem to help it.

  “I’ll give you that one, Stella, because I treated you like shit the last time I saw you. Go ahead and get it out of your system now, so that we can talk about what we’re going to do, like adults. I’m not the bad guy. In fact, I’m doing my best to be a good fucking guy here. Let me.”

  The frustrated look pinching his face is understandable. As much as I don’t want to admit it, he’s right. He’s going out of his way to make this easy on him, but I’m still bitter and hurt over the way he treated me when I went to see him. Without apologizing or saying a word to him, I step back and allow him to open the door for me.

  “Thank you.” It nearly kills me to be gracious. My petty is strong. My abuelita would be ashamed. Just that little reminder hurts my heart. With a sigh, I watch him through the window, saying out loud in the empty cab of the truck. “Fine, Abuela, I’ll try to be more kind.”

  Sitting on the couch in Jason’s apartment, my backpack at my feet with the assignment I still have to do before tomorrow’s class, I lean back into the buttery leather couch and look at the twinkling lights on the harbor below. It’s so pretty. So peaceful and relaxing. Too relaxing.

  “You falling asleep on me, Stella?” Jason asks, startling me awake. I’m not even sure when my eyes slid closed.

  “Sorry. It’s been a long day,” I groan, as I shift into a less comfortable position.

  “Are you doing too much?” His eyes roam over me, the concern evident on his face.

  “I feel okay. The baby is healthy. I’ll survive.”

  “So, you’ve seen a doctor?”

  “Jason. I’m six months pregnant. Of course I have.” I laugh at him.

  “Six months.” He shakes his head and rubs a hand over his jaw. “We were so careful. How the hell did this happen?”

  I asked myself the same exact question.

  “No clue. But before you ask, and I get pissed, there’s no way this baby isn’t yours. I hadn’t slept with anyone in months—six, to be exact—before that weekend.” He’s already proven he’s too trusting and believes me without any real proof, but I didn’t want him to start questioning me now.

  “I remember you saying so.” Jason hands me a bottle of water. “I feel like I should have more questions, but I can’t think of a single one, now that I have you here. Truthfully, I expected your stubborn ass to fight me more.” He laughs.

  “Thought about it. Figured you’d just keep showing up though.”

  “Damn right, I would.” A smile kicks up the corner of his mouth and I have to will myself not to stare. I hadn’t forgotten how hot Jason Dagger was, I just didn’t want to be reminded.

  “Yeah well, this isn’t something you can just kiss better,” I say, before I realize those were the exact words I used on him the first time we had sex, and then he used on me the second, third, and fourth time. Obviously, he remembers too, if the devilish gleam in his eyes and the wicked grin are anything to go by.

  “I can try.”

  We’re not going there. Not that this baby isn’t a blessing but I’m not gonna lie, he or she has thrown a wrench in my plans in a big way. I’m taking it all in stride, making plans as best I can, but if I let my guard down with Jason, I’m liable to get into all kinds of trouble because he’s right, not all trouble is bad.

  “Yeah, no. You’re ‘kissing it and making it better’ has landed me in enough trouble, Dagger. Thanks, though.”

  “Trouble isn’t always a bad thing though. I mean, sometimes trouble can be so damn good.” Jason grins at me as he hands me a bottle of water.

  Is he fucking with me right now? Is this a line? I narrow my eyes and try to figure it out, but I’m too tired and my brain won’t work. In fact, my brain is screaming for me to do whatever he wants, if it means going to bed and sleeping. Although, I’m certain sleep is not what would happen. We spent four days in his bed and on his terrace…and the kitchen, and shower, and every other surface he could pin me to, and I don’t remember doing a whole lot of sleeping.

  “So, what do you want to talk about, exactly?” I have to keep him on track, otherwise I’ll try to convince him to get naked. Pregnancy hormones are no joke.

  “Well first, are you hungry? I can order Chinese from Wu’s.” A man who knows his way to my heart. “Singapore Mei Fun, extra spicy, no shrimp, right?”

  The fact that he remembers what I ordered that weekend blows my mind. Who is this guy?

  “How do you remember that?”

  He just shrugs and winks before turning back to the kitchen to order. “I have to make a couple phone calls too. I’ll be right back.”

  While he does that, I pull out my textbook and notes, and try to concentrate on the assignment I know I won’t get finished. How can I, when Jason is being all…perfect. I think I hate it. No, I just don’t know what to do with it. This wasn’t the reaction I expected. Freshman year, my roommate got pregnant. Her boyfriend offered her money for an abortion and dumped her. Not that I was expecting that from Jason, but I honestly didn’t expect this either. I figured he would deny it, say I was looking for a handout, or tell me again, “we’re not like that.” He’s got me confused as hell right now.

  I’m highlighting passages for my paper when he comes back in the room, bringing with him the sexy scent that is all Jason. It’s a mixture of cold fresh air, like the ice he spends so much time on clinging to him, and leather. I close my book when he sits across from me on the big leather loveseat.

  “You done in January? Or do you have another semester?” he asks, twisting off the cap on his bottle of water and taking a drink.

  “Technically, I can finish in January, but I need the student loans to help carry me until I can nail down a job, and since I’ll have a newborn soon, I’m going to take a few online classes and work on my Masters. This way, I can be home with the baby and still get some help from student loans.”

  I’ve planned this all out. I’m working now to put money away for a small one-bedroom apartment since the baby and I can’t live on campus. Between my partial scholarship and my student loans, nearly all my schooling is covered, thankfully. It’s not ideal but I have a few feelers out on some really great jobs and coaching prospects.

  “How much are you getting in student loans?” I see a muscle ticking away in his jaw. He looks like a bomb ready to detonate, but I don’t understand the anger in his tone.

  “About five thousand a semester, I think. My scholarship is still covering a majority, and I picked up a grant for multiracial women this semester.”

  “Damn it, Stella. Why didn’t you come ask me for help? If you’re carrying my kid, you. Are. My. Responsibility. T
oo,” he bites out. Pushing to his feet, he starts to pace. “You’re working your ass off in school, not to mention working two jobs. You need to be resting. Not rubbing guys down for some bullshit scholarship.”

  Okay, he’s pissed. But so am I. “Umm…first of all, I’m not rubbing guys down. I’m working in the treatment room as part of my scholarship, as well as one of my classes.”

  “Yeah, and they’re getting off on the hot pregnant chick working them over. I don’t like it.” Jason crosses his arms over his chest and glares my way.

  What the hell? “Okay, well, you don’t get a say. So—”

  “That’s my kid. I get a say,” he interrupts.

  “You can dial it back, caveman. As of an hour ago, you had no idea this baby even existed, so you don’t get to just come in and start making demands. Let me remind you, yet again, I am an adult. Legal. On my own for a while now. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me what to do, or how to do it.”

  As gracefully as I can, I get to my feet, so we’re both standing now. Sitting made me feel as if I was at a disadvantage, and I need him to hear what I’m saying. “I’m doing the very best I can for my child and I plan to continue to do so. If you’d like to be in this baby’s life, then that’s great, fantastic, but that doesn’t mean you get to start dictating what I do.”

  I’m standing in front of him now, my fingernails poking at his rock-solid chest, and I’m certain there’s steam billowing from my ears. I’m just about to pack up my stuff and get out of there when Jason grabs me by the nape and pulls me into him, causing me to stumble. He steadies me as his mouth slants over mine, devouring my lips and swallowing my half-assed attempt at refusal. The minute his tongue slides against mine, I’m a goner. I can blame it on the pregnancy hormones all I want, but the truth is, Jason Dagger has something. Some crazy pull on me I can’t deny. I couldn’t do it the first time I met him, and I can’t do it now. I’m headed for heartbreak, I know it, because there’s no way a man like him could ever want more than this, from a girl like me.