Looking To The Future (#11 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series)

by Ginny Dye

  Frances struggled with her answer. “Don’t you get lonely?” She thought of how her desire to learn at the orphanage had earned her nothing but pinches and silence from the other children.

  “Sometimes,” Felicia admitted, but her eyes were calm. “I’m not like other children, though.”

  “Really?” Frances asked with a sarcastic drawl, softening the words with a smile.

  Felicia chuckled. “It used to bother me, but not anymore. It makes me sad sometimes when people like you think I don’t like to talk, but I don’t mind being different.”

  “You really don’t like to talk? Or you just don’t think about doing it?” Frances asked.

  Felicia shook her head. “Does it matter?” she demanded in a frustrated voice. “We’re talking now, aren’t we? Why do I have to be the one to think about it?”

  Frances cocked her head. “I reckon it don’t really matter,” she admitted. “And I guess you don’t have to be the one to think about it.” She paused. “Does it bother you that I want to talk?”

  “No,” Felicia said. “Mama tells me that I need to talk more.” She met Frances’ eyes honestly. “I like you. I like talking to you.”

  “You do?” Frances asked. “Truly?”

  “Truly,” Felicia assured her. She turned to stare out at the countryside. “Mama keeps telling me information is a good thing, but that if I don’t know how to talk to people about things, all the knowledge won’t do me any good.”

  Frances listened closely. “Do you reckon that’s true?”

  “I suppose I do. Mama is very smart about these things. She told me she used to be quiet when she was my age, but only because slaves weren’t supposed to talk. She and Carrie would talk in Carrie’s room at night sometimes, but mostly she was supposed to be seen and not heard. When she started teaching, though, she knew she needed to talk.”

  “I imagine that would help if you’re a teacher,” Frances said.

  Felicia chucked. “Yes. Mama is a very good teacher.”

  Frances nodded, and then changed the subject. “Are you afraid to go back to Oberlin and live by yourself?” After three months without a family, she hoped she wouldn’t have to live that way again for a long time, at least until she was all grown up.

  Felicia frowned. “I am,” she admitted. “I don’t think I should be afraid, though. After all, I’m fourteen now.”

  Frances felt a surge of compassion that made her grab Felicia’s hand. “So what? Fourteen isn’t old.”

  “Maybe not,” Felicia replied, “but it was my choice to stay, and I wouldn’t change it if I could. Even if I am afraid. I have to finish my education.”

  There was something about the way she said it that made Frances peer at her more closely. “You have to? Why?”

  “I don’t know,” Felicia admitted quietly. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what Sojourner Truth said at the graduation. She said our gut tells us what we’re supposed to do. Chooli told me the same thing—that if I’m quiet inside and listen enough, I’ll know what I’m supposed to do.”

  Frances nodded. Carrie had told her all about Chooli. She was looking forward to meeting her. She’d never met a real Indian. “And you believe you’re supposed to finish school real fast?”

  “Yes,” Felicia answered. “I believe I’ll know why in time, but I can’t say I know right now.”

  “Why wouldn’t your mama and daddy stay there with you while you go to school?”

  “They would have,” Felicia said. “But they are supposed to be back on the plantation. I know that for sure.” Her eyes dropped. “I’m going to miss them terribly, but we have different paths to walk right now.”

  Frances shook her head. “I ain’t never heard anyone talk like you. Especially someone about the same age as me.”

  Felicia lifted a brow. “Ain’t is not a word.”

  “It is for me,” Frances retorted. “I’m trying real hard to talk like all the rest of you, but it’s gonna take me some time.” She could feel defiance rising in her. “I ain’t been to school like you’ve been. If you don’t like me because of that, there ain’t nothing I can do about it.” Suddenly, she didn’t want to watch every word she said. It was tiring.

  Felicia shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me, but you better watch out for my mama. She doesn’t know how to quit being a teacher. She corrected every word I ever said once I came to live on the plantation. Once you start school, she’ll do the same thing to you.”

  Frances stared at her, seeing nothing but genuine friendliness in her eyes. She relaxed almost as quickly as she had tensed. “I don’t mind,” she admitted. “I might get tired of it, but I want to talk like the rest of you do. Especially since I’m going to be a doctor.” As soon as the words came out of her mouth, she held her breath. She hadn’t told anyone but Carrie about her dream. Would Felicia make fun of her?

  Felicia nodded solemnly. “You’ll make a good doctor.”

  Frances released her breath. “Do you really think so?” she asked. “Why?”

  “Because you know what happens when there isn’t a doctor around,” Felicia said. “It’s been very hard for women to become doctors, but by the time you’re old enough to start medical school, it will probably be easier.” She grinned. “It won’t hurt that your mama is already a doctor.”

  Frances sucked in her breath again. “I can’t call Carrie my mama yet,” she said softly. “You think it hurts her?”

  “It took me a long time for me to call Rose my mama,” Felicia confessed. “I loved my own mama a lot.”

  Frances listened closely. They had never talked about Felicia watching her parents be murdered. As far as she knew, Felicia didn’t know Carrie had told her about what had happened in Memphis. Frances had decided she wouldn’t bring it up, because she didn’t like to talk about her own parents dying. There were some things you just didn’t need to keep reliving.

  “My parents died when I was about your age,” Felicia said.

  Frances nodded, but didn’t ask any questions. She just reached out and took hold of Felicia’s hands.

  Felicia took a deep breath, composing herself, and then smiled softly. “Thank you.”

  Frances knew that was all that was needed. Both had acknowledged the sadness of their loss. For now, nothing more needed to be said.

  *****

  Moses drew a deep breath when they rolled between the stone pillars lining the drive into Cromwell Plantation. He had to pinch himself every time to convince himself he was really co-owner. This time, however, was different. He had always been preparing to leave.

  Now, he had come home to stay.

  Rose reached over and took his hand. She squeezed it once, but had to release it quickly to secure little John, who was jumping up and down with glee.

  “Home!” John yelled. “Home!” He raised his voice even louder. “I’m coming, Patches. I’m coming!”

  Moses laughed, his heart full of joy that his family was now back where they belonged.

  “Home!” Hope yelled, her tiny voice full of glee. “We coming, Gramma Annie! We coming!”

  Moses gazed at his daughter, and then locked eyes with Rose. As thrilled as they all were to be home, he believed his mama was going to be even happier to have her family back with her again. Cromwell Plantation had truly become her home, and she had never said a word to discourage them leaving, but the glint in her eyes every time they departed told him how hard it was for her.

  “I bet your mama is going to have a feast prepared,” Rose said.

  “You can be sure of it,” Moses murmured. He sat back, content to drink in the fresh air as they rolled under the towering oaks spreading over the drive. His mind travelled back to the first time he had come down this road. He had been sitting in the back of a wagon with twelve other slaves purchased that day, nine years earlier. It had been night, but the moon had been bright enough to illuminate the trees they moved beneath. He had believed then, that his life was over. Separated from his mama and sis
ters on the auction block, there was no way to escape the raw pain ripping his insides apart.

  Never could he have imagined…

  Carrie, seated next to the driver, looked back at them. Her eyes were wide with excitement. “We’re almost home,” she said, laughing at John and Hope bouncing around on the seat. “I can’t wait to show Frances the plantation.”

  Moses understood how thrilled she was to share Cromwell with her new daughter. He had felt the same way when he brought Felicia home from Memphis. There had been many times he’d been certain Carrie would never return to the plantation because of the pain of her memories. He was relieved that time was healing them, making room for new memories.

  *****

  Frances was speechless when they rounded the final curve. She stared at the three-story plantation home, its white paint gleaming in the midday sun. Banks of windows winked at her like shiny eyes. A row of deep green boxwood bushes lined the circular drive, and two huge oak trees stood as leafy sentinels.

  When she turned her head, her mouth dropped the rest of the way open. There were several pastures, lined with white wooden fences, full of mares and dancing foals. She gasped as a huge gray horse broke away and thundered down the fence line, his joyful whinnies ringing through the air.

  “That’s Carrie’s horse, Granite.”

  Frances nodded. She had guessed that already, but actually seeing the Thoroughbred in real life had taken her breath away. She pulled her eyes away from the horses to look back at the house. “That’s where I’m going to live?” she breathed.

  “I had the same reaction when I saw it,” Felicia said with a laugh. “The little shack I lived in with my parents in Memphis was certainly not like this,” she said dryly.

  Frances continued to stare. “I’ve heard houses like this existed, but I thought people were making it up.”

  Felicia laughed as the wagon pulled to a stop. She stood and then jumped lightly from the wagon. “Come on. It’s time for you to meet everyone.”

  Frances froze, overwhelmed and terrified. What had she done? Who was she to live in a place like this? Surely, it would take everyone only moments to know she didn’t belong in such a fine place.

  “Are you coming?” Felicia demanded.

  Frances opened her mouth, but nothing came out. All she could do was shake her head.

  “A little overwhelming, Frances?”

  Frances gasped with relief when she heard Carrie’s soft voice at her side, but she still couldn’t speak. She nodded. The fact that the porch of the imposing house was now full of people, did nothing but make her more intimidated. There was no way she was stepping out of the wagon.

  “It’s your new home,” Carrie said gently, reaching out a hand. She nodded to Felicia. “Go on, honey. We’ll be there soon.”

  Frances grasped Carrie’s hand like a lifeline as Felicia ran up onto the porch, launching herself into the arms of a black woman, but still she didn’t move. “I can’t live here,” she whispered.

  “Why not?” Carrie asked.

  Frances shook her head vigorously. “It’s too fine for the likes of me.”

  Carrie squeezed her hand tightly. “It’s perfect for you,” she said reassuringly. “I’m sure it’s probably bigger than anything you’re used to, but—”

  “Probably?” Francis squeaked, interrupting her sentence.

  Carrie laughed. “Will you at least come with me to meet Granite?”

  “Your horse?”

  Carrie nodded. “He’ll be quite upset if we don’t come to say hello.”

  Frances took a deep breath. “The people won’t be mad if we see him first?”

  “They won’t be mad,” Carrie promised. “And, I know Granite would like to meet you.”

  “How do you know that?” Frances demanded, suddenly terrified anew, because what if Granite didn’t want to meet her. He was a very big horse.

  Carrie laughed again. “Granite is my best friend. He loves everyone I love.”

  Frances turned to gaze at her, desperately needing reassurance. “And you love me?”

  Carrie stepped close and wrapped her arms around Frances. “I love you with all my heart, Frances. You’re safe here. This is your new home.” She held her chin and tilted it up so Frances had to look at her. “I know it’s overwhelming, but I promise you it will feel like home soon.”

  Frances couldn’t stop trembling, but Carrie’s words made her feel better. She leaned forward and allowed Carrie to help her from the wagon. Then, still holding her hand tightly, she walked over to the fence where Granite was prancing in place, his head held high and his tail waving like a flag. Frances had seen plenty of horses, but she had never seen one so beautiful.

  Frances held back as Carrie threw her arms around Granite’s neck. The horse nickered softly and pulled his head back to nibble at Carrie’s head. Entranced, Frances couldn’t hold back her giggle.

  Carrie turned to smile at her, and held out her hand. “Will you come meet him?”

  Frances took a deep breath. Part of her wanted to hold back from fear, but she remembered Sojourner Truth’s words, as clearly as if she were standing in front of her speaking them. Every time you say no to an opportunity, you’re not just saying no to that one thing. You’re saying no to all the other opportunities that follow, when you’ve had the courage to say the first yes.

  “Yes,” Frances said firmly, as she stepped forward, not missing the shine of approval in Carrie’s eyes.

  “Hold out your hand,” Carrie said. “Like this.” She held out her palm.

  Frances followed her example.

  Carrie smiled, pulled something from her pocket, and laid it in Frances’ hand.

  Frances stared at the orange object. “You have a carrot in your pocket?”

  Carrie grinned brightly. “May gave it to me this morning when we left Richmond. She knows they are always the first thing Granite wants. She harvested it from the garden last night.”

  Frances held her breath as Granite lowered his head. He nibbled the carrot gently off her hand, and then blew on her softly.

  “He likes you,” Carrie said.

  Frances released her breath and tentatively put her hand out to touch Granite’s nose. The horse stood completely still, his eyes fixed on her. “He’s wonderful!” she breathed. “Oh, Carrie, he’s wonderful.”

  *****

  The sun was setting when Carrie noticed Frances fighting off sleep. She smiled tenderly, pulled her up from the rocker, and led her upstairs to the room that would be hers. Felicia would be sharing it with her while she was visiting, but she was still in the kitchen with her Grandma Annie. She pulled a nightgown from the bag Moses had carried up earlier, helped the sleepy little girl put it on, and then pulled back the covers.

  Frances, barely able to keep her eyes open, crawled into bed. “Thank you for bringing me here,” she murmured.

  Carrie smiled. “You’re welcome, honey.” Once Frances had gotten over her initial fear, she’d had tremendous fun getting to know everyone. Felicia had shown her around the house, but Amber had stolen her away and introduced her to all the horses, and to Clint, Susan, and Miles. It had been so wonderful to sit on the porch with lemonade while she listened to Frances’ laugh float to her on the breeze.

  Carrie tucked the girl in and kissed her on the cheek. “Good night, Frances. I love you.”

  Frances smiled. “I love you too, Carrie,” she whispered. Moments later she was asleep, her lashes fluttering as her breathing grew steady and even.

  Carrie gazed down at her for several minutes, hardly able to believe she was at the plantation with her daughter. Tears filled her eyes. “I wish you were here, Robert. I wish you could meet Frances,” she whispered, not wanting to disturb the little girl’s sleep.

  A surge of peace was all the answer she needed.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Thomas took deep breaths of the late spring air, wishing it didn’t carry the smell of smoke and exhaust. It was bad everywhere thr
oughout the city, but down along the river where the factory was located, it was worse. He bit back a sigh.

  “You’re missing the plantation,” Abby remarked.

  Thomas shrugged. There was no reason to deny it, but he didn’t want to fixate on it.

  “What happened in Philadelphia?” Abby pressed. “I’ve only been home for two days, but I can tell something has changed.”

  Thomas considered her question. He’d thought he was doing a good job of concealing his feelings, but obviously he had been mistaken. “Did you go look at the new building today?”

  Abby raised a brow. Evidently, he wasn’t ready to answer her question. “I did.”

  Thomas waited a few moments, but she didn’t offer anything else. He bit back another sigh, knowing this was her way of saying two could play the game of concealing information. He smiled half-heartedly. “I deserve that.”

  “You do,” Abby said calmly.

  “I don’t know what I’m feeling,” Thomas said, watching the bustle of the city as they traveled the road back to their home on the hill. Richmond seemed to get crazier with every passing day. He knew the city needed the growth and activity to recover from the war years, but it was increasingly exhausting.

  “I think you do,” Abby probed.

  Thomas gritted his teeth, wishing she wasn’t right. “Perhaps,” he said. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head in apology. “I just don’t know how to communicate it.”

  “May is fixing strawberry shortcake tonight,” Abby said. “We’ll wait until we’ve had dinner to discuss anything. Strawberry shortcake should loosen your tongue,” she predicted.

  Thomas managed a chuckle. “Perhaps.”

  Abby eyed him for a long moment, and then answered his earlier question. “The building is fine. I believe it would be perfect for expansion, if we decide to do that.”

  Thomas turned to her. “Is it what you want to do?” He didn’t want to put the decision off on her, but he very much wanted to know how she felt.

  “I believe it will have to be a mutual decision,” Abby replied carefully.