Hidden Heart (Windy City #1)

by Measha Stone

  He paused the spanking to stand and move his position. She clenched her eyes shut and tried to will her cunt to ignore the sensations he was causing. Her ass was on fire, but she could feel the wetness between her legs in response. Her mind did not share the arousal her body did, but she had lost control of the physical elements of the situation.

  He unrolled the belt. “Are you ready?” His voice was tender.

  “Yes.” She nodded, keeping her eyes focused on the bedding. Her fists crumpled the comforter with their grip. Every muscle tensed in anticipation of the first strike.

  She didn’t have long to wait. The intensity of the burn shocked her; an electric shiver ran up from her ass through her spine. She stood upright, unaware of her actions.

  “Back over.” He sounded calm, all business.

  She complied, swallowing hard and taking deep breaths. She felt the surge of fire from the second lash before she heard the swish through the air. With the third, a cry escaped her before she could contain it. She wanted to jump out of her skin.

  Her shoulders tensed, and her fingers ached from the tight grip they had on the bedding. She gulped at the air and tried to ready herself for the next lash. It came softer, higher on her ass. She rested her forehead on the bed and readjusted her feet on the floor. Her legs began to shake from holding herself in the position with such intensity.

  “The last is always the worst,” he informed her, running his fingertips over her ass.

  She imagined horrifically what he must be seeing. Convinced her cheeks glowed a dark red, her mortification continued. She felt as though angry welts were popping up; she was sure she looked a mess.

  “Let me know when you are ready.” He removed his fingers from her.

  She took another deep breath. To ask for the last one, it was too much.

  “I can wait.” His words ran over her skin.

  Her mind raced. She braced herself and willed her voice into action. “Okay. I’m ready.”

  The belt crashed across both cheeks at the curve—too close to her thighs to count as a slap on the ass. She yelped and shook with the tension of her body and slowly allowed herself to relax.

  She felt the tears on her cheek and realized the whimpering she heard came from her. A release valve had been triggered with the last lick of the belt. The tears wouldn’t be fought against, her emotions bubbled over until they couldn’t be held back any longer. Resting her face on the bed, she pulled up her legs and curled into a ball.

  He sat beside her and rested his hand on her back. He said nothing, but he remained.

  After a few moments of quietly shedding tears, she unraveled herself and sat up. Concerned eyes met hers and she leaned into him, resting her face in the crook of his neck. Her safe place. “I’m sorry.” She sniffled.

  He wrapped his arms around her, tucking her beneath his chin. “Me too. I really wanted to ravage you this morning.” His words only twisted her stomach further.

  She’d ruined what could have been a wonderfully sexy morning.

  “Another time.” He kissed the top of her head and rubbed his chin against her.

  “Do you still want me to answer your question?” Her voice was soft.

  “Yes. Would you like to get dressed first?” He rubbed her bare shoulder.

  “No, that’s okay.” The vulnerability of being naked eased the way to being vulnerable in other ways as well. As long as she didn’t have to look at him at the same time.

  He kissed her again and tightened his hold on her. “Were you ashamed of what we did? Or that you enjoyed it?” His question was given in a manner that made her feel as though she should be sitting in a witness box and swearing an oath of honesty before answering.

  “I don’t understand why I enjoyed it. I guess that’s a little scary. Not understanding your own feelings. I mean, the clamps hurt but in a good way. That makes no sense. The crop, same thing. It’s all messed up. Maybe I’m messed up.” She shrugged.

  He nudged her away with his shoulder and used his finger to pull her chin up. His eyes deepened with sincerity. “You are not messed up.” His voice was firm. “I want you to do me a favor. I want you to open yourself to the possibility that you can find happiness in a relationship with another person.”

  “You are asking a lot.” She tried to pull away, but he held her firmly with his fingers.

  “I know.” He kissed her nose. “Just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel without doubt and scrutiny.”

  “You are a terrifying man.” She screwed up her lips into a half smile.

  “Really?” He mocked shock.

  “Yes.” She pushed her lips out. He gave in to her desire and took her lips under his.

  “No more hiding from me. I won’t give you a second chance any more. The first time you hide, you’ll be punished.” He released her. “I’ll let you get dressed. I’d like to walk you home. I have a project for you today, and it will take you most of the day to complete it.” He flashed a mysterious smile at her and pinched her bottom to get her moving.

  She giggled—a sound she’d not heard herself make in a long time—and scooted from the bed. “I thought we agreed you wouldn’t invade my private realm.” She shot him a worried glance as she pulled her pants over her hips.

  “I’m going to push that boundary a little.” He found a clean shirt and pulled it over his head. “Don’t worry.” He stepped to her and gathered her in his arms, kissing her wrinkled brow. “I know you’ve had bad experiences with trust in your past, but you’re going to start learning to trust me.” He kissed her nose.

  She hadn’t told him about any of her previous boyfriends, but she had told him she didn’t trust men.

  She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  He kissed her mouth. “Good girl.” He smiled against her lips and released her. “Now, let’s get you home.”

  A warm shiver ran through her with the words “good girl”. She couldn’t stop the grin that popped onto her face at them.

  She decided to put it aside for later evaluation and followed him from the room.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Another Gift

  The walk home from Jessica’s apartment gave Royce time to contemplate the new relationship. New relationships didn’t scare him, he’d had plenty over the past several years. They were all fun at first, then sagged a bit in the middle, before dying a slow pitiful death at the end. Jessica threatened to be different.

  It wasn’t the thrill of training her to be his submissive, or the excitement of new love that kept him wanting her. It was the way a warmth would spread through his veins at the sight of her, the smell of her, the sound of her voice. Even her “hello” on the telephone made his heart race. These feelings put him in a new territory.

  She was closed up tightly, but slowly was beginning to unravel in his arms. He loved the smiles she let slip out, the second of thought she took before speaking. Impulsiveness didn’t rule her, she ruled it. She could be spontaneous if he pushed her, but she wouldn’t instigate. She was in control of every aspect of her life, but she softened with him. He could feel the tension leave her. Her eyelids would instinctively drop and a blush would creep onto her cheeks.

  Her submission was natural, even though she was only beginning to understand it. He found himself already attached to her; there would be no sag in this relationship. He forbade it. Potential for a lifetime of adventures lurked beneath their casual teasing and erotic touches.

  Punishments happened in his relationships. They were a fact. Submissives would eventually earn one because they were human. He knew she wasn’t different in that way, a spanking would happen. Being so new to his lifestyle and his rules, he worried she would not take the punishment well. Maybe a lot of arguing and spitefulness. Instead, she’d surprised him with her willingness to experience the punishment, how open she’d been to it. His disappointment in her for having earned the punishment had morphed into pride.

  A thick wall encased her heart. He could feel it in the way s
he tensed after a smile, or looked away from him when they had locked eyes for too long. She’d been hurt more than once, but he would be patient and the walls would come down. He found himself wanting to be her knight on a white horse, carrying a single tail and handcuffs.

  The doorman stopped him in the lobby of Royce’s building. He wrung his white gloved hands together as he looked at Royce. “I’m sorry, sir. She demanded to be let up. Said that you told her to meet her in your apartment. I recognized her name from the packages. I didn’t feel right about it, but she was becoming unruly in the lobby.”

  “It’s all right. You let her in the apartment?” Royce looked at his watch; he didn’t need to ask who Robert confessed to letting into his apartment.

  “Yes, sir. She had several suitcases with her.” Robert’s brow wrinkled. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead.

  “You did the right thing.” Royce soothed the worried doorman. “She can be very persistent.” He watched the elevator doors open, his voice tight. “I will deal with her.”

  Royce stepped into the elevator and forced a smile on his face as the doors closed. Robert sighed with relief. No doubt Melody had given the man a hard time.

  Music blared from his apartment. Her favorite punk band thumped against the walls as soon as the doors opened. He focused himself and entered his apartment.

  She was naked. She danced in his living room completely nude. He didn’t address her. He found the remote to the stereo on an end table and switched off the music.

  Startled, she turned to him and instantly dropped to her knees, placing her forehead to the ground, reaching her hands over her head, and placing her right palm on the back of her left hand. A position from another life.

  “Get up.” He tossed his jacket on the loveseat.

  She moved from her position on the floor to kneeling with her hands folded behind her back.

  “No, get up on your feet. Where are your clothes?” He walked around the room.

  “It’s good to see you again, Sir. I put my clothing in the bedroom.” Her silky voice answered him.

  He left the room and reappeared with a pile of clothes in his hands. He dumped the pile in her lap. “I am not your sir anymore, Melody,” he reminded her with a forced civility. “Please get dressed.” He turned and walked way before she could react.

  He poured himself a glass of water and waited in the kitchen. She joined him after dressing in her jean skirt and tank top. The weather was too cold for such little clothing. He didn’t remark on it.

  “You are not pleased with me,” she stated, leaning against the fridge.

  “We broke up. Our relationship ended. I’ve asked you to stop sending gifts, but they keep coming, and now you are here. What are you doing here?” He placed his glass in the sink.

  “I miss you. I know I was wrong to ask for more than what you offered. I know that you may never want more than what we had; I won’t ask for your love again.” Her words hit him.

  His words sounded cold and bitter repeated to him. When they’d severed their ties, he had explained he didn’t want a loving relationship. He’d caused the sag because he didn’t want more than what was on the surface.

  That wasn’t the case anymore. He wanted the depths of Jessica. He wanted to be with her through bad morning breath to long weekends of reading newspapers and drinking bad wine. He loved her.

  “Did you hear me?” Melody’s voice hardened when he didn’t respond.

  “Yes.” He shook his head. “You can’t stay here. I’m sorry you’re having trouble letting go, but we’re finished. I released you.” He shoved away from the sink.

  Her eyes widened, and she stopped him from walking away by wrapping her arms around his waist.

  He could smell her perfume, his favorite.

  She looked up at him with soft eyes. “I am sorry I upset you. I can be a good girl.”

  He watched her lips as she spoke.

  “I can be your good girl,” she whispered and reached up on her toes, bringing her lips to his.

  CHAPTER NINE

  So It Goes

  Jessica sat on her couch stunned. Royce wasn’t like any other man she’d known before. That much she’d figured out on their first date. He continued to pull her emotions in every way that confused and excited her.

  A spanking as an adult should be a humiliation. Or so she thought the moment she’d learned about them only weeks before. Yet, humiliation was anything but what she’d felt. She’d felt…cared for.

  He hadn’t just gotten pissed off with her and left the room—or the relationship—as so many others had. He’d stayed. He’d addressed the issue. He’d corrected the problem.

  He hadn’t yelled or berated her, instead he’d cuddled her when the spanking ended. He’d walked her home and hadn’t made an attempt to get into her apartment. He’d respected her boundary.

  His being extremely good-looking didn’t hurt anything either.

  “Here’s your project.” He’d handed her a business card. “A friend from college actually went into the writing world. He’s an editor now for a small publishing house here in the city. Your project is to get your resume together. Write a killer cover letter and send it to him. I promise nothing. I didn’t even tell him your name, only that I was sending a gem his way.” His dimple appeared.

  “What?” She’d breathed erratically looking at the card. “But I have no experience.”

  “So what? I’ve seen your purse; you’ve had a different book with you each time I see you. You know books.” He tapped the strap to her purse hanging from her shoulder.

  His observation had touched her; she hadn’t let on about her passion for reading.

  “Royce. I don’t know.” She chewed the inside of her lower lip.

  “I do. Do this if only because I’ve said to. Obey me in this.” He wiped a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

  Her brow crinkled. “Okay,” she agreed with a warped smile.

  “Good girl.” Then he’d kissed her, pulling her to him deepening the kiss.

  She’d felt dazed when he’d pulled away.

  Now the card sat on the keyboard of her laptop. She stared at it from across the room.

  The man continually surprised her, and she was beginning to surprise herself. He treaded dangerously close to her.

  Every time she put up a barrier, he just walked through it. This project of his, this opportunity he’d opened for her meant more than any trinket he could send her. She wasn’t a passing thought in his mind; she held merit.

  She sat at her computer, determined to see his project through. Even if nothing came of it, even if she never heard from his friend, the idea that Royce had created this moment for her drove her fingers to start typing. She felt him with her as she worked.

  The excitement of the afternoon took control of her. She finished her resume and the cover letter—editing them a few dozen times—and grabbed her coat. She wanted to show him, to get his input. They hadn’t made plans for the rest of the weekend, but she was acting on impulse.

  The walk—or slow jog—from her apartment to his only took her seven minutes. The chill in the air made her lungs burn, but that only pushed her to move faster.

  She held the envelope with the project in both hands as she entered his lobby and greeted the doorman with a smile before heading for the elevators. She didn’t notice the worrisome features of his face as he responded with a pathetic wave.

  She knocked on Royce’s door, nearly bouncing like a toddler with a sugar high from the excitement. She’d realized on her jog over it wasn’t just the project that made her move so quickly; it was the idea that she would see him. She would kiss him, he would hug her. He would be pleased with her.

  The door opened and a half-dressed woman, a foot taller and two sizes leaner than Jessica, stood staring at her.

  “Can I help you?” she asked with annoyance.

  “Um.” Jessica looked at the door to be sure she had the right apartment.
“I’m looking for Royce?” She gripped the envelope tighter.

  The blonde woman was beautiful. Her hair looked professionally styled, and her face confessed no flaws.

  “He’s not here.” Her lips curled into a sneer, as her eyes narrowed. “He went to pick up our dinner.” She raised her chin as she gave that gem of information.

  Jessica’s eyes swept the apartment, noticing the woman was barefoot. She peered into the doorway at the floor, where her pink mat lived, but it was gone. A dark purple mat sat in its place, holding a pair of black sandals.

  Jessica’s stomach twisted and bile raced up her throat. She swallowed hard and tried to focus her swirling brain.

  “Oh.” The woman’s voice mocked her with sympathy. “Was that pink one yours?”

  Jessica looked at the woman with an empty stare. The words and situation refused to compute.

  “Yeah.” She remained motionless. Her gaze returned to the mat, fixated.

  “Well, Sir will be back any moment, and I have to prepare the table. Did you need something?” Her voice switched up an octave, and she placed heavy emphasis on the word Sir.

  “Yes. I mean. No. It’s nothing important. Sorry to have bothered you,” Jessica managed to say on a smile and turned from the door. She didn’t look back, but she could feel the woman’s satisfied eyes burning through her jacket.

  The elevator did not move fast enough.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Clean Up In Aisle Eight

  Royce tossed his phone onto the couch. When he finally got a hold of Jessica, he was going to add a rule that his calls were never to go to voicemail unless she was at work. He hadn’t heard from her in three days. No phone calls, no texts or emails.

  Giving her the project to get her resume in order had pushed the boundary a little, but not enough to warrant her running away from him. He’d given her space on Saturday, so she could work on the project, as he had a project of his own. Getting rid of Melody.

  He’d allowed her to spend one night before taking her to the airport and putting her on the first flight back to New York. She had laid it all on very thick, but he’d managed to escape her unscathed.