Pip Bartlett's Guide to Unicorn Training

by Jackson Pearce

  I had to admit, this changed things. Of course it wasn’t right for the prince to cut off Unicorns’ tails. But I also knew it wasn’t right for a whole species to go extinct. I wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to tell the crowd how I felt. Luckily, Aunt Emma stepped up.

  “The survival of a species is very, very important, Prince Temujin. I know we all agree with that,” she said, and the other grown-ups nodded. “But these are very expensive show Unicorns—”

  “We don’t have the money to buy them!” Prince Temujin interrupted.

  Aunt Emma held up a calm hand and, when the prince quieted, went on, “It will be a long while before Duchess and Forever Sunshine can show again. Not to mention the time and money all the people who pulled out of the competition wasted.”

  The crowd nodded again, a little more ferociously this time.

  “But … what’s done is done. So while I’m sure you’ll have to go with these police officers to see about the consequences of your crime, I’ll see to it that the Unicorn tails you’ve already cut are sent to Galatolia and given to the Junebirds. That is, if EverSun Unicorns and Forever Sparkle Stables are all right with that?” she said, looking over to the Barreras and the man who owned Forever Sunshine.

  Mr. Barrera put a hand on Marisol’s shoulder; she looked up at him and nodded. “Of course. It’s already done, so I’m happy to help the Junebirds.”

  “Same here,” the other man said with a stiff lip.

  Prince Temujin breathed a huge sigh of relief. He didn’t look happy, exactly—he was still about to get arrested, after all—but he looked like he was glad it was all over. McDonald and Krogh each put a hand on his shoulders and led him away from the Rockshines, who were now busily licking Tomas’s shoes.

  “Hey,” one said adoringly.

  Tomas reached down to pat its head. “Oh. Their eyes need to be wiped,” he said happily, then pulled out a tissue.

  Aunt Emma and Callie made their way toward me, followed by Regent Maximus and Mr. Henshaw. It really said something about how boring the Rockshines were that Regent Maximus wasn’t afraid of them. While the grown-ups talked, I explained to Regent Maximus what had just happened.

  “A bird? Birds are going to steal my tail?” Regent Maximus said, eyes wide.

  “No, no—first of all, those birds are far away. And secondly, the prince is gone, so he can’t steal your tail. Don’t worry, Regent Maximus. Your show career is just starting!”

  This did worry Regent Maximus. He sucked in his lips and pawed at the ground. “I got third place, you know.”

  “I do know! I’m so proud of you,” I said.

  “But I still have to do more shows?” he asked, voice lowered to a whisper.

  I sighed. “Come on, Regent Maximus. You did a great job! And Mr. Henshaw really had a good time too. Didn’t you have a little fun?”

  Regent Maximus looked warily at a woman in a large hat walking by, like he thought the brim might take a bite out of him.

  “Well,” he said, “I did think training for the show was fun. And I liked the baby Unicorns and our disaster preparations, because I think it’s good that they know about how the world is scary. And I liked my stall, with the picture you drew.”

  “But not the show? Not at all?” I asked, a little disappointed. I guessed I’d figured that once Regent Maximus could make it through a show, he’d learn to love it. But the Unicorn just shook his head quickly.

  “Is there a way I can do the shows, but never have to leave the baby Unicorn pen?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

  “Afraid not,” I said, frowning. But it didn’t seem very fair that Regent Maximus should still have to be a show Unicorn. He’d given it a fair try, after all. I licked my lips, then walked over to where Mr. Henshaw and Aunt Emma were talking.

  Mr. Henshaw grinned. “Pip! Third place! I would really like for you to have the Trident. You earned it, after all, training him.”

  “Oh! Thanks! I’ve never gotten a trophy in anything before,” I said. “But … um … Mr. Henshaw? There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

  “Of course,” Mr. Henshaw said, frowning. “Is something wrong?”

  “It’s just that … I don’t think Regent Maximus really liked showing very much. I think he liked getting to know you better, and I know he liked being in the pen with the baby Unicorns, but I’m just not sure showing is for him.”

  Mr. Henshaw nodded but didn’t look like this was good news. I panicked, and added, “I’m sure if it was between showing and being sold, he’d—”

  “No, no, calm down, Pip,” Mr. Henshaw said, smiling a little. “The truth is, I didn’t love showing either. Pretty dumb of me to buy an expensive show Unicorn before I figured that out, huh?”

  “Yep,” Aunt Emma said before I could answer, and Mr. Henshaw laughed.

  “But I did like getting to know Regent Maximus better. He’s a pretty great Unicorn, even if he is a little scared. That’s what makes him so brave—he tries hard even when he’s frightened. It’s pretty admirable. I think he’ll love being a pet Unicorn.”

  “So does that mean you’re keeping him? He’ll be your pet Unicorn?” I asked.

  “Of course!” Mr. Henshaw said, walking over to pat Regent Maximus on the nose. “Plenty of people have expensive dogs as pets. Why not an expensive Unicorn? I’ve grown pretty attached to him.”

  I grinned. “Hey! In that case …” I took a step closer so I could be certain Regent Maximus would hear what I was about to suggest. “What if Regent Maximus donated his tail to the Junebirds?”

  “Oh!” Aunt Emma and Mr. Henshaw said at once. They glanced at each other.

  “It would help save an endangered species,” Aunt Emma said.

  “And I think he might actually like a shorter tail. Sometimes I think he’s afraid of it?” Mr. Henshaw said.

  I lifted my eyebrows. “Afraid of his own tail?”

  Regent Maximus interrupted to whisper, “It’s always chasing me. So yes! I’ll donate it! Who wants it? They can have it!”

  I waved Marisol over, and she plaited Regent Maximus’s tail into a long, thick braid. Aunt Emma borrowed some shears from Ms. Gould’s Rockshine grooming kit and carefully cut Regent Maximus’s tail. It was a beautiful tail—it looked like Aunt Emma was holding a rainbow in her hand.

  “I’m free!” Regent Maximus said, waving the little stump that remained back and forth. The other Unicorn owners looked a bit horrified by what we’d done, but Regent Maximus pranced his feet, pleased with himself. Mr. Henshaw laughed and offered him a handful of honeycomb—broken into very tiny pieces—as a reward.

  “Hurry, Pip. Go catch the prince and find out what we need to do in order to get this to Galatolia!” Aunt Emma said, handing the tail to me.

  I nodded and took off in the direction of the prince and the police officers—they were just slipping out the front door!

  “Wait! Prince Temujin, wait!” I shouted, waving my arms in the air. “We have a third Unicorn tail! It’s being donated! We just need to know where to send it—”

  The prince spun around upon hearing this, face erupting into a happy grin. Unfortunately, doing so unbalanced Krogh and McDonald, who’d been walking closely beside him. Krogh lost his footing and reached out for balance. His hand hit the edge of the Wimpeling bucket McDonald was holding, sending it swinging up, up, up …

  Until the Wimpeling came sliding out. I held my breath as it tipped off the bucket’s edge. McDonald shouted. The prince looked up. His eyes went wide. His mouth went round.

  He yelled, “Oh no—”

  That was all he had time to yell. The Wimpeling slapped down on his face with a tremendous SPLAT, tendrils of slime still slicing through the air.

  “Delicious smells!” the Wimpeling nickered joyously, then begin making a little trilling noise—the noise that indicated it had just matched scents.

  I think if I were writing a book on training Unicorns, I’d probably include some stuff even Jeffrey Higgleston h
imself wouldn’t think to put in. Pip Bartlett’s Guide to Unicorn Training would include notes about Unicorn personalities, for instance. Because even though Jeffrey Higgleston was right about some Unicorns being proud and brave, like Fortnight, not all Unicorns are like that. And even though he wrote that Unicorns are “the most beautiful of the magical creatures” and the most ideally suited to being shown for sport, not all Unicorns are happy in the show ring.

  Also, everything looks more organized on paper. I think I’d try to write more about the hard work behind the show scenes. When I daydreamed about the Triple Trident, I knew about the three days of beautiful Unicorns prancing around and showing their stuff, but I never thought about how the people who showed them spent all of the other days of the year doing exactly the sorts of chores I did at the Cloverton Clinic. Shoveling poop. Feeding. It makes it a little less magical, I guess, to know how much practical work there is in it. Less magical, but more impressive.

  On the last day of the Trident, Marisol and I exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers and promised to be better friends when school started again. Regent Maximus wished the Unicorn babies a tearful good-bye (“I’ll miss you! Remember to never step in puddles, because you could get Blandworms! Never look into the sun or you’ll go blind!”), and I promised him that I’d come visit him at Mr. Henshaw’s soon. Aunt Emma kept in touch with Officer McDonald about the Junebirds, and just a few short days after the Triple Trident, Aunt Emma triumphantly displayed a printed-out e-mail from an official Galatolia address.

  “The first pair of Junebirds laid an egg already!” she said excitedly.

  I also got an e-mail from Marisol. She’d just signed up for a therapy-animal session with Duchess! They were training to visit hospitals so that people could admire a Unicorn and feel better. Marisol said that it was actually lucky Duchess had no tail, because it was less likely to get caught in the automatic doors in hospital buildings. So she was getting a happy ending after all.

  That left Tomas and his Rockshine.

  His parents decided that he couldn’t have a Rockshine in their backyard, because it would completely ruin the backyard for gardening and playing … but they said he could have one if it could live in Mr. Henshaw’s stable with Regent Maximus!

  Tomas was out of his mind with excitement.

  I couldn’t believe he hadn’t lost interest, but here we were, just a few days after the Triple Trident, waiting at Mr. Henshaw’s stable for Mariah Gould’s Rockshine trailer to pull up on its way out of town.

  Mr. Henshaw, Aunt Emma, and I stood in the full sun with Tomas’s parents. We all watched the road impatiently. Tomas was inside the stable, going through a twelve-step checklist of tasks he intended to complete to make the space comfortable and safe for his Rockshine.

  Regent Maximus watched from his stall, his head stretched over the door and his big eyes on the road too. He asked me anxiously, “What if the Rockshine doesn’t like me? What if it is evil?”

  I wasn’t sure something as brown and lumpy as a Rockshine could be evil, but I soothed him anyway. “Just remember the Unicorn babies. The Rockshine will need you too! Your job is to make it feel safe here in a strange place.”

  “I have a job?!” Regent Maximus whinnied. He tossed his head gloriously, and for a moment, he reminded me an awful lot of the Unicorns at the show. I was happy to see it. He would always be a little different from the others, but not as different as everyone had imagined.

  Outside, a trailer pulled up, and I heard “Heeeeyyyy! Hey. Heeyyyyyyyyyyyyy!” Despite myself, I felt a rush of excitement. Even though I wasn’t crazy about Rockshines, it was impossible not to be excited for Tomas.

  He emerged from the Rockshine’s stall—it was right next to Regent Maximus’s, and there was a door between them that could be opened in case the two turned out to get along well—and crossed his arms. He looked a little nervous. A small collection of bubbles burst around his head, but he didn’t seem to notice them. It was a sign of how far Regent Maximus had come that he didn’t cringe in terror from the bubbles. Instead, he blew one of them away from him with a phbbbbbbbt sound of his lips. Then he flinched when the bubble popped, but still. Progress!

  “Hello hello, Tomas!” Mariah Gould boomed loudly from behind her long livestock trailer. “Are you ready to take on your Rockshine?” Before Tomas could reply, she answered herself. “Of course you are; you’ve got strong common sense!”

  She stepped from behind the trailer with a big smile on her face and her arms wrapped around … nothing.

  Of course it was because the Rockshine had gone invisible. I hadn’t realized that Tomas was getting a Rockshine small enough to be carried, but it made sense that he’d get a young one to raise himself.

  She stood in front of Tomas, and Tomas stared up at the empty space in her arms with big eyes.

  “Now, remember,” she told him, “just like we talked about on the phone. The Rockshine is going to need a bottle once a day, just for a week. Have you named her yet?”

  “Bella,” replied Tomas. He added in a matter-of-fact voice, “That means beautiful in Spanish.”

  Regent Maximus and I exchanged a look.

  Mr. and Ms. Ramirez huddled around a camera pointed at Tomas.

  Ms. Gould said, “Have a seat, cross-legged, and I’ll put her in your lap. Easy, now. She’s not big, but you aren’t either!”

  Then she tipped the invisible thing into Tomas’s lap.

  “Oof! I can’t tell which end is which,” Tomas said, and then he yipped. A slime mark had appeared on his cheek. He’d been licked. Tomas laughed, and the Rockshine suddenly appeared in his arms.

  She was … cute. Well, cute-ish. She still was brown, and lumpy, and generally shaped like a hairy toaster. But she had big, friendly eyes (even if they were pointing in slightly different directions), and they weren’t even runny.

  “Oh!” Tomas said happily. He hugged her neck, and Bella the baby Rockshine blinked off at the sky with something like happiness.

  “I call that a happy ending,” said Ms. Gould.

  “HEY!” shouted Bella.

  Text copyright © 2017 by Jackson Pearce and Maggie Stiefvater

  Illustrations copyright © 2017 by Maggie Stiefvater

  This book was originally published in hardcover by Scholastic Press in 2015.

  All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Press, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers since 1920. SCHOLASTIC, SCHOLASTIC PRESS, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.

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  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  First printing 2017

  Book design by Christopher Stengel

  e-ISBN 978-0-545-70931-6

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