When Fall Fades (The Girl Next Door Series Book 1)

by Simpson, Amy Leigh

  He flipped the lock on the door so they wouldn’t be disturbed, and then leading her to a padded armchair in the corner of his office he sat her down, knelt in front of her, and held both of her dainty hands in his. Hot tears stung behind his eyes, threatening to unleash emotions he wasn’t sure he was ready to expose. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded again, but he could tell she was barely keeping it together. He was right there with her.

  “They told me what happened. I would’ve been there sooner, but I was in Illinois trying to question this same guy. We started back after we found out that he’d escaped, and that’s when I got your text. You were so brave.” He curled his finger beneath her chin, tipping up her face to level with his eyes. “I can’t believe I could have lost you, again.”

  Sadie leaned to the edge of the chair and placed her tender arms around his neck, tucking her face into his shoulder. His arms seemed to surround her tiny frame twice. He held her close and let her cry. This. This was where he wanted to be. Pressing kisses into her hairline, and anywhere he could reach without disturbing their embrace.

  Someone rapped on the door. It was probably Sal, and Archer knew he wouldn’t go away quietly. Regretfully he eased out of Sadie’s arms and went to open the door. “What?”

  “He just confessed to killing Charles Westwick. We got him. Guy’s definitely out there though.” Sal whistled—the sound descended as if falling from a cliff when he spotted Sadie. His eyes softened with concern. “Hey Karate Kid. How’re you holding up?”

  Sadie just shrugged, smearing away more tears.

  “You’re a real rock star, you know? From what I heard his face looked pretty banged up even before Archer got to him. Not to mention those broken ribs. Badass!”

  Archer shook his head, signaling Sal to shut his big yap.

  Sal squeaked out an apology and retreated to the bullpen just beyond Archer’s door.

  “What did he mean you got to him?” Sadie sniffled. “I thought you just got back?”

  Her skin was all swollen and splotchy, her nose red and chapped, but Archer had never seen a prettier sight. “I did. I, uh …” He shrugged, attempting to soften the ugly truth of his actions. “Well, let’s just say after I heard what he tried to do to you I paid him a little visit, scrambled his brain a bit. That’s why I didn’t come to you. I’m stuck in here until they move him out. It seems I’m a bit of a loose cannon.”

  It was only a slight smile, but the ray of sunshine reached clear across the room where he stood by his desk and warmed him. “I see. Well it looks like you broke your hand on his face, but thank you, for defending my honor.”

  “I just wish I’d been there to protect my girl, save you from all of this.” My girl. He’d just blurted it out. And heaven help him, even with all his training and his generally sharp instincts, he couldn’t decipher the look that crossed her face. Was she still his girl? Had she ever been? More importantly, would she ever be?

  He didn’t want to spook her by coming on too strong, but he also didn’t want her to confuse his restraint for lack of interest. This was unfamiliar terrain he had no idea how to navigate. There were no guarantees it would work out, but he knew he wasn’t strong enough to let her go.

  Sadie saved him from toiling any longer. “I wanted to talk to you about that. And about the other night. It’s sort of complicated but I trust y—”

  The door swung back open, abruptly severing her confession.

  Agent Mackenzie crossed to him in two long-legged, tight-skirted strides. As usual she was putting on a show and started in before he could get a word out. “Hey, this must have fallen out of that extra file of information you requested on that witness girl you’ve been investigating. The car was previously registered to a Ryan Burke. Sorry I didn’t notice it until now—Ouch, your hand. That looks really painful.” She brushed her chest against his arm and laid her hand on his.

  Archer’s body recoiled without hesitation, but his mind lagged behind. For a moment he just stood there between the two, his mouth slightly open and a breath trapped in his lungs.

  “Oh.” Agent Mackenzie’s ditzy laugh was aimed at Sadie. “I didn’t realize you had company, I’ll come back later.”

  She swaggered out, and Archer clenched his eyes, knowing what that must have looked like.

  Sadie stood a little too quickly to keep her balance. But when he rushed over to steady her she sidestepped his help.

  “I can explain …” His throat clogged, his mind scrambling for the right words, just beyond his grasp. The hurt on her face stabbed at his conscience. Was it from his snooping or Mackenzie’s implication? Or both? Fix it! A black wall surrounded him, and he felt like he was sinking into a deep hole, trying to claw his way out and hating himself for all his mistakes big and small.

  “That was not what it looked like … I …” Come on Archer, pull it together. This was one of those critical moments, everything hinging on a lynchpin he’d pulled much too early when he’d indulged his curiosity.

  “You … what?” Sadie folded her arms. “Are the DMV records case related? You had to spy on me to get your answers? You were investigating me? Boy, the FBI sure is thorough.”

  Her eyes blazed blue fire. She didn’t wait for his answers, answers that were are flimsy as the grip they seemed to have on his voice box. “You know, I very seldom let my guard down. Did you learn that from my file? Just keep digging, I’m sure you’ll find out all you care to know about me. Sorry my life’s not a more exciting read.” She straightened her spine and crossed to the door. “It’s my fault for breaking my own rules. But just a tip, Agent Hayes …” She glanced back over her shoulder.

  He winced, hating the formality on her lips and knowing he deserved what was coming.

  “If you want some info, your investigative techniques should probably be geared toward asking some questions instead of silencing me with your kisses. Might’ve saved you some time and some …” She nodded toward the bullpen—and Agent Mackenzie. “… company resources. Then again, you got to have your cake and eat it, too. Well played.”

  “Sadie, wait.” He pleaded, reaching for her as she backed away, the distrust in her eyes unbearable. “I wasn’t investigating you. I ran that search a long time ago, and Agent Mackenzie and I are not—”

  “We’ve only known each other for two weeks. This was obviously just part of the job to you.” She inched outside his door beyond the guards. “So you’re off the hook. You don’t owe me anything.”

  Whipping around, she grabbed Sal’s arm. “Sal, I need a ride.” Without waiting for his reply she hauled him out the door.

  “Sadie!” He yelled knowing she could still hear and unwilling to let her go without a fight. But the agents posted at his door strong-armed his escape, then restrained and hauled him back into his office. Having already created a spectacle, he growled at the gawkers and slammed the office door behind him.

  The empty minutes that followed were torturous, his mind working to undo the twisted web that brought him to this moment.

  Why hadn’t he asked Sadie about the Camaro? He’d been curious and had plenty of opportunities. But he’d been cowering behind his badge. Making excuses to stay detached—to keep Sadie, or anyone for that matter, on lockout.

  But now …

  There was still a lot to sort out, but he couldn’t imagine giving up before even giving it a chance.

  Sadie wasn’t answering her phone and neither was Sal. Feeling like a caged animal, he paced his office and dialed Sadie again.

  When the voicemail prompt started he was tempted to chuck the phone across the room at his prison door. “Sadie, I really need to talk to you. Please just give me a chance. I never meant to hurt you, I—” Archer stopped himself midsentence realizing what he was about to say. Elated and terrified, the words in his throat begged to taste the
air.

  But this was the worst time for them—like they were some consolation prize birthed out of desperation. “I don’t want to scare you but I’m gonna come by later, when I’m released from my office. Please call me back.”

  Another forty minutes crawled by until Sal waltzed back into Archer’s office. “What did she say?” he pounced.

  “Nothing really, man. She was pretty upset. I don’t know what happened, so I didn’t know how to defend you. Sorry.” Sal shrugged.

  “Ahh, this sucks.” Archer crammed his hands through his hair—raking in a sharp breath when reminded his hand was indeed broken.

  “What happened? When I came in before, it looked like I’d interrupted something good.” Sal said with a devious wag of his brows.

  “Yeah it was good, until Agent Mackenzie slithered in here and rubbed up against me, acting as if—” He blew out a sigh. “Well, you know what. And then she announced that I ran non-case-related personal info on Sadie and the Camaro, making it look like I totally violated her trust.”

  “Ouch. Well you could understand how that’d come off. Plus, it’s really sad about her friend Ryan with the car. Still missing after five years. Army medic, just starting out, and then poof, went into a rough zone I guess and they never found a body, nothing. Just MIA. At least that’s what the file said.” He shrugged. “You know that’s really gotta mess with a person, not knowing what happened, and always wondering if they’re gonna show up one day.” A knot formed between Sal’s midnight eyebrows about the same time a noose tied around Archer’s airway. “How long do they wait before declaring a person dead anyways?”

  Archer hung his head.

  Sure, he’d felt a little guilty about it at the time, but he hadn’t realized how significant his betrayal had been until now. Sadie’s words echoed back in his head. I very seldom let my guard down for people …

  The hurt on her beautiful face seared into his memory. And maybe it wasn’t just from his underhanded deception, but from the pain she still carried in her heart from Ryan.

  Oh, Sadie. He didn’t know the whole story, but he didn’t need a badge to figure out her isolation, leaving medical school, her departed dreams all hinged around her traumatic and lingering loss.

  Maybe the blurred boundaries of his job made this whole thing acceptable—in some regard. But the sharp pang in his gut told him that he’d missed his chance to be the man she would trust enough to bare her scars.

  Sal touched Archer’s arm. “You didn’t know, did you?”

  Chapter 35

  Sadie Carson

  “Thanks for letting me stay the night, Finny. I didn’t want to be alone after everything that happened.”

  Finn crossed the room and handed off a steaming cup of coffee before easing down beside her, draping a fleece blanket and his arm around her shoulders. “I just can’t believe that happened to you—my baby sister.” He shook his head, giving her arm a slight squeeze. “Thank God the cops got there in time. I’d be chilling in a concrete cell as we speak if anything had happened to you.”

  Hot coffee, a familiar embrace, Sadie felt another layer of stress peel away and leaned her head against her big brother’s shoulder.

  “So, I’ve got some options. We have the always hilarious Mike Myers in So I Married an Axe Murderer or Scrubs on DVD. You know what? Anything with murder should be out for tonight. How about some Turk and J.D., eh?” He ruffled her hair like she was eight years old.

  He was making a valiant effort to cheer her up, so she forced a chuckle to show her appreciation. “Not really feeling it tonight. I’ll probably just crash. But I might take you up on some crackers or something? Haven’t eaten all day, and my stomach’s a little funny.”

  “Sure. My selection is limited, but I’m sure we can scrounge up something.”

  Sadie cocooned herself in the blanket and followed Finn to the kitchen. Her tender joints and countless bruises balked at her every move, a persistent reminder of images she couldn’t shake.

  Don’t think about it. Don’t let yourself feel. Stuff it down like everything else.

  Try as she might, the mind-over-matter efforts were futile. Nothing could obliterate those moments flashing before her eyes like her own slide show of horror.

  I can’t do it. I can’t carry this one on my own. Everything inside her shook with the manifest power of her lingering fears.

  You were never meant to carry any of them.

  “How about some scrambled eggs and toast?”

  Finn’s question broke through the silent admonition. And for a moment she couldn’t speak. A hand touched her shoulder, and she looked up through a wash of tears. “Cakes, are you all right?”

  Nodding, she shrugged away his hand so he wouldn’t feel her trembling. “Brinner sounds great. Thanks.” Breakfast for dinner was a Carson family tradition. She wasn’t sure how much she would be able to keep down—the thought of eggs making her stomach a little queasy—but it was likely all he had in his little bachelor kitchen.

  The sympathy in his eyes, a perfect reflection of her own Irish aquamarines, scraped at her overwrought nerves. She didn’t want sympathy. She wanted to be strong and resilient. Frankly, she was sick of being some tragic victim.

  She cleared her throat, grated away the suffocating emotions. Be strong. Shake it off.

  Maybe a distraction would help. “Hey what’s in this box over here? It looks like the ones Mom has been trying to foist on me.”

  “Yeah, she’s cleaning out the attic. I don’t know what to do with all the stuff she saved. Probably pitch most of it. I think it’s just a bunch of old yearbooks.”

  She ambled toward the box, nearly groaning as she lowered her achy bones to the floor. “Let’s find out. Ooo, look what we have here …” Sadie held up a picture very obviously from the eighties. “The stone wash was a good look for you.” The scent of sizzling butter drifted from the kitchen. Her stomach perked up and grumbled. Progress.

  “I totally rocked ’em. Can you believe some of the stuff we wore back then? You were a big fan of those stirrup leggings.”

  A laugh tumbled out. It tasted like the sweetest medicine. “Maybe not with stirrups, but I still love leggings.”

  “Leggings, vintage T-shirts, old vinyls, and movies—you always were trapped in the past.” He immediately winced and turned back to the eggs. “Oh hey, Mom said she shoved those old VHS tapes in there—the ones of the fake TV shows we used to put on in the basement. Remember the Wayne’s World episode? That oughta be good for a laugh.”

  It was a fond trip down memory lane. She allowed herself a smile despite the double entendre of Finn’s slip. “Yearbooks, your varsity baseball jersey …” Sadie ticked off the items she unearthed from the box. But what she saw next made her heart crash into her ribcage. “Finn … where did you get this?” Sadie cradled a filthy and well-worn Cardinals hat in her hands.

  Her brother looked up from the stove, glanced at it without recognition, and shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think I had a blue one, all mine were red.”

  Her mouth hung open, her breaths shallow and dizzying as she stared at the beloved canvas in her grip.

  “Trying to catch some flies? What is it?”

  “This … this is Ryan’s. I thought I lost it all these years.” Happy tears filled her eyes. She rubbed her thumbs over the faded fabric in benediction. “He was so mad at me when I set out to prove his superstition wrong and wash this nasty thing. And then I guess I lost it before I got the chance.” Tears and laughter released in harmony. It was such an inconsequential thing—finding an old hat—but with it some small shard of pain dislodged from her chest. “He never let me live it down, held it over my head for years.”

  Finn’s expression sobered. He removed the skillet from the heat and came to her side. “That’s not the only thing han
ging over your head, Cakes.” He paused, easing out a careful breath. “Now I don’t want to sound like Mom, but in a way she’s right. You have to keep living your life. Summer eventually ends. Fall will fade. Life moves on, whether you’re ready or not. And after today, you should be reminded that it’s a gift. It may not be exactly like you planned, but somehow that makes it even better than you can imagine. Because it’s real. It’s yours. And no matter what you’re dealt, how you play your hand is entirely up to you.”

  He swiped a renegade tear cliff-hanging from her chin. “I’m still waiting for my time, too. And I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be, but there is no script. No perfect blue print. And you don’t always get a do-over, so you’d better not waste it. Sometimes you have to fight your way through, bandage up the wounds as they come, and take the rest on faith.”

  “But I—”

  “You’re strong, little one. You had to be to put up with Jay and me picking on you your whole life. You’re welcome, by the way.”

  “Gee, thanks.” She tried for flippant, but the words hiccupped out half-laugh/half-sob.

  He forced her to meet his eyes, his faith in her so clear she felt more tears brewing. “You can do this. Don’t stay on the bench. I’ve got your back. And if you stumble, you better believe I’ll be right there to kick your butt back in the game.”

  He gathered her to his chest, whispering against her hair. “It’s okay to miss him, Sadie. We all do. But you’re still here. And if you’re brave enough to look for it, I guarantee there’s something beautiful to be found. Might even be right in front of that stubborn nose.”

  A sudden knock at the door startled a yelp from Sadie’s heart in her throat.

  Finn gently levered her away. “Sorry, I’ll take care of that.” After the door opened she heard him utter an oath. “What are you doing here?”