Cupcake Love

by Diana Currie

  I just about had dinner finished when Shane knocked at the door. He greeted me with a friendly smile and a plate of cookies. “I would have baked them if I had an oven, but I don’t, so they’re Chips Ahoy,” he said as I took the plate from him.

  “Thank you, Shane,” I replied. “I have good news and bad news. Good news is Ethan and Rachel won’t be disturbing our study session tonight because they won’t be here. Bad news is they’re missing dinner too.”

  “What? Even after you told them you were cooking?” he asked.

  “Well, I cook most nights for Rachel. When she isn’t here to eat with me she usually just hunts it down in the fridge later,” I explained.

  “Maybe it’s for the best for my GPA that Ethan won’t be here,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not looking forward to this poetry exam.”

  “Have no fear, I will get you through Longfellow,” I said reassuringly.

  I slapped his hand away from the plate of cookies and then turned back to the skillet where my cutlets were starting to brown. He muttered a sarcastic “sorry, mom” under his breath.

  It was rather enjoyable having a quiet dinner with Shane. We talked about school and our plans for spring break. He told me how Pittsgrove High School was on break this week so unfortunately Ally would have class the week we were home. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t have a lot of time to spend with her. Aside from Andrea, I missed spending time with Ally the most.

  “She still wants to come here next year,” Shane mentioned during dinner.

  “Really? I figured she would be losing her mind separated from Jack this long.”

  Shane scooped more mashed potatoes onto his plate and said, “I think she’s afraid to be that far from home without knowing anyone there. Even though she’d have Jack in California, my sister would still get homesick.”

  “I’m sure Jack will be disappointed if she changes her plans like that.”

  “Probably, considering he’s spent a fortune flying home to visit her every chance he gets. He can’t keep that up for another three years,” Shane chuckled.

  “Do you think Ally’s decision has something to do with your mom?” I asked cautiously. I didn’t know if he’d be up for a mom talk but I was curious. He hadn’t mentioned Elise in a while.

  “I don’t think so. She’s been better lately. My parents even decided to open the house up to another foster child. They’re just waiting for paperwork to go through in the next few weeks.”

  “What? Why?” was all I could think in my moment of utter shock.

  “Well, with Ally and me leaving the nest I think they both feel the house will be too empty. They want to help another child since they have the means to do it,” he answered.

  “That should make for an interesting summer,” I said. Shane smiled.

  “Yes. Ally is excited since it will be a girl. And she sees the change in our mother’s attitude since they made the decision. Even over the phone I can hear the difference in her voice.”

  “That’s wonderful then. Should I say congratulations or something?” I really had no idea what would be appropriate.

  “I suppose. It is definitely something for the young girl to celebrate. She’s coming to the two best parents any of us could ask for.”

  It struck me as odd when Shane said “us.” He was grouping himself in with that large population of foster children who needed safe homes. I didn’t realize he still thought of himself that way considering how young he had been when he was adopted. I knew how much love and admiration Shane had for Colin and Elise. Much more than a teenager normally has for his parents. It only made sense to me after he told me how he and Ally came to live with them. He was right that this new member of the family would be very fortunate.

  “Do you know anything about her?” I asked.

  “Her name is Casey Reynolds and she’s fifteen. I’ll find out the rest in May when the semester ends. You’ll have to come over to meet her.”

  I stood up and took a few empty dishes to the sink. The longer they sat on the table, the longer I scrubbed with the sponge. I was facing the counter when I responded, “I’ll have to make a point to come home one weekend then.”

  “You won’t be home this summer?” he asked. I could hear the surprise in his voice. I turned around and sat back down across from him.

  “No, I just found out today that I got the job I applied for and it starts in May. Right after classes end.”

  “How come you didn’t tell me you were applying for summer jobs?” he asked sounding offended.

  “I applied for at least a dozen positions in coffee shops, department stores, even the dang bowling alley. I didn’t want to say anything until I was finally hired somewhere. And that was today,” I said.

  He furrowed his brow and questioned, “Okay. So what’s the job?”

  “UD is building a daycare facility for college moms who need someone to watch their babies while they’re in class. I’m going to help them setup the rooms and get everything ready for summer semester. And then I’ll be one of the babysitters.”

  “Wow. I had no idea you were interested in something like that,” he said somewhat baffled.

  “It doesn’t pay that well but I think it’s a great service to have for single mothers who don’t want to have to put off school because they can’t afford daycare. UD is offering a reduced rate and flexible hours so the moms can drop their babies off throughout the day and pick them up after class,” I informed him.

  “I think that’s a great idea. But Hanny? If you’re that hard up for a summer job why not just look for one in Pittsgrove?”

  “Yeah, maybe I can work for our good friend Mark at the auto shop helping sweaty guys rotate tires and do oil changes,” I said sarcastically. “What makes you think I must be desperate to work for a daycare?” I asked slightly offended.

  “I never pegged you for the type to enjoy changing diapers and holding infants all day,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders.

  “I’m excited about getting to be around all those cute babies! I didn’t have little siblings or cousins growing up. I babysat in high school and was really sad when the parents didn’t need me anymore.”

  I was taken aback at Shane’s assumption that I disliked infants. “Why do you seem so surprised?”

  “Like you said, you’re an only child. You never talk about wanting to get married or having kids one day. I mean, you’re not even really dating. And you get nervous when I talk about being a foster kid.”

  “That’s because I don’t want to force you to dredge up painful memories. And I do want to have a family someday. I want to have lots of kids. I don’t want them being lonely growing up like I was. Just because I don’t talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t look forward to it.”

  The main reason I never talked about it was because I always envisioned little auburn haired children playing the piano when I thought about my future children. I was a little miffed he assumed I wanted to stay single forever. I came back from my internal rant when I heard Shane laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” I snapped.

  “Nothing. It’s just that you’re always surprising me, Hannah.”

  I blushed and stood up to hide my face from him, taking the remaining dishes to the sink. Shane elbowed me in the ribs playfully and I took a step to the side to steady myself. He stepped into the space in front of the sink and took the sponge from my hand. I smiled to myself as he took over the washing.

  I dried each dish as he handed them to me one by one. Again I felt completely at peace doing such an ordinary everyday chore. Being next to Shane was all it ever took to improve my mood and I was already feeling much happier. We made our way into the living room and sat down on the hardwood floors where my books were piled up neatly on the coffee table.

  We’d been reading over our notes for about fifteen minutes when Shane abruptly said, “I don’t think you should be alone here all summer.”

  “What? Why not?” I asked.

  �
�It’s a big city and you just shouldn’t be living here all alone. What if something happens to you? I don’t like the sound of it.”

  “Shane, I’m a big girl and I don’t mind being alone. Living with my mom was practically like having my own place and I survived. Besides, I won’t be here without friends. Aiden is staying on campus through July.”

  Shane’s crinkled brow didn’t relax any at the mention of Aiden. A small part of me enjoyed that.

  “Why is he going to be here?”

  “He’s taking a summer course and has a big project to complete with the National Wildlife Refuge as part of the curriculum. It needs to be in the summer.”

  “That sounds like a lame excuse to me,” Shane said unimpressed.

  “An excuse for what?”

  “Being alone with you, obviously. Did he come up with this before or after you told him you’d be in Newark all summer?” he accused.

  “Before, dumbass,” I responded. “Aiden is a biology major. He wants to study deer and other animals after graduation so he’s going to be learning about them from the rangers.”

  Shane threw his head back and laughed. It really irritated me. He played the piano in his spare time and was currently in my house to study for his poetry midterm, but had the nerve to laugh at Aiden’s interests. I kicked his foot as hard as I could under the table.

  “Ow,” he said, coming down from his laughing fit. I scowled at him.

  “I’m sorry, Hanny. Really,” he said. I almost believed him. I kicked him again, more gently that time and opened my book back to the poem we had been reviewing. The hard floor was starting to hurt my rear end so I stood up and took a seat on the sofa. Shane sighed and joined me before turning his attention back to our study session without another word about Aiden.

  *~*

  I woke up to the sound of the front door opening and closing.

  “What the hell is this?” Rachel exclaimed.

  I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them, taking in my surroundings. I was nestled into Shane’s side, my leg flung over his. His arm was around my waist. I sat up immediately and scooted away from Shane’s body. My fingers ran through my hair and found a mess of knots and tangles. Still disoriented, my heart now pounding, I looked back at Rachel. She had a oversized grin on her face as if she’d just caught her two friends having sex instead of passed out on the couch.

  “Well, well,” she said loudly.

  “Shhhh! Don’t wake him up. What time is it?” I asked.

  “Honey, he’s already awake. You can’t fool me, Shane. I see that smirk on your face. Don’t even try to hide from me!”

  Shane’s mouth turned up at both ends and he opened his eyes. “Hello, Rachel.”

  “So is this what you two are doing whenever you tell me you’re at Shane’s dorm studying?” she chuckled.

  “Leave Hannah alone,” Shane warned. “We obviously fell asleep. What’s the big deal?”

  “It seems to me I missed a bit more tonight than a meal,” Rachel said, her voice highly suggestive. “I’d love to hear all about it right now but I’m exhausted.”

  With that she shuffled down the hall to her room and shut the door.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, looking at Shane out of the corner of my eye. I was overwhelmed with embarrassment, but at the same time couldn’t stop thinking about how I could still smell him on my shirt and in my hair. It was a smell uniquely Shane and my heart fluttered at the reminder of how his scent got on me.

  “It’s my fault,” he said groggily. “You fell asleep sitting up and I didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

  I turned to face him and saw the sleepy smile on his face. Even moments after being woken from a deep sleep Shane was painfully beautiful. I was reminded of how I must look and quickly stood up and glanced at the time on the cable box.

  “Crap, it’s one in the morning! We need to get some real sleep before tomorrow’s exams,” I said.

  Shane started feeling around his pockets for his keys and finally found them on the coffee table.

  “No, you shouldn’t drive. You’re too tired,” I protested.

  “I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I don’t wanna spend the night on the couch.”

  “Then sleep in my room. I don’t want you getting in an accident.”

  He smirked and replied, “Thanks for the offer. I’d just love to hear what Rachel would have to say about that in the morning.” His sarcastic tone reminded me of what Rachel had said only minutes before. Embarrassment washed over me again, not only at her comments, but at the fact that I’d just invited Shane into my bed. What was I thinking?

  “Fine, but you have to call me as soon as you get home so I know you made it safely,” I compromised.

  “I will,” he said and took a step towards me, cupping the back of my head in his hand and kissing my forehead. “Thanks for dinner. And helping me cram for finals.”

  I felt my cheeks flush again as he walked to the door, my forehead burning from his touch. I ran up to my room once he’d left and quickly brushed my teeth and pulled my hair back into a messy bun. I sat in the middle of my bed for ten minutes waiting for Shane to call me. Finally, as I was about to panic and call him, I received a text.

  Home safe. Now go to bed.

  I smiled and sent a reply.

  Thx. Goodnight.

  And I was out before my head hit the pillow.

  CHAPTER 9: SUMMER LOVIN’

  My skin tingled as Aiden’s rough fingers ghosted up my arms. I felt his lips on my neck and held my breath as they swept across my collarbone to the other side. I slid my hand up his solid back and gripped the hair at the back of his head, pulling his lips to mine. He tried to subtly push me gently against the sofa cushions and position himself over me. When I resisted for the third time that evening Aiden groaned in frustration.

  “What’s wrong?” he whispered.

  “Rachel is going to be home soon,” I lied. She’d been spending so much time at Sigma Phi I wouldn’t be surprised if they let her become the first female member.

  “We could always go upstairs,” he suggested softly, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin behind my ear.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I replied.

  I’d spent every weekend with Aiden since we returned from Spring Break, and I purposely never let him linger in my bedroom. I knew I was beginning to develop feelings for Aiden and wanted to take our relationship slow. Shane had been spending a lot of time with Wendy recently; so much that I’d barely even seen him outside of class for the past month. I was aware of how badly I’d reacted to him dating in the past and didn’t want to get intimate with Aiden simply because I was upset over Shane.

  I was afraid if I opened up too much to Aiden that he would ask me to be his girlfriend. I’d never been anyone’s girlfriend before and just the thought of it scared me. I was afraid to commit myself to Aiden and was ashamed to admit even to myself the reason why. I hadn’t actively pursued a relationship with him because I didn’t want to appear unavailable in case Shane suddenly came to his senses. I didn’t want to lose my window of opportunity to be with him because he saw me happy with someone else and decided not to act. It was pathetic, and I knew it. Especially considering the way his relationship with Wendy seemed to be progressing. I felt like my own relationship with Shane was still evolving and strengthening but still hadn’t crossed the line from friendship into something more. I didn’t have much hope it ever would and I was beginning to feel myself being drawn to Aiden more each time we were together.

  “I want to, I really do. But we have the whole summer to make our way upstairs,” I said gently.

  Just then Rachel burst through the front door proving my white lie to be correct after all. I could tell instantly that something was wrong, just from the way she’d entered the house. When she stepped into the living room I saw the tears running down her cheeks smearing her makeup. I unwrapped myself from Aiden’s arms and went to her.

  “Rachel? What ha
ppened?” I asked.

  “I broke up with Ethan. And before you even say anything, you were right, okay? I couldn’t be a good enough girlfriend to him. Please don’t say I told you so,” Rachel whimpered.

  I looked back at Aiden, hoping he would understand that I needed to be with Rachel. He stood up and walked towards us.

  “I’ll give you girls some privacy. Call me later?” he said.

  I nodded and reached up on my toes to kiss his cheek. I was a little grateful that a roommate emergency had come up and I could avoid having the talk with Aiden that I felt looming on the horizon moments ago. I could worry about that another day.

  I dragged Rachel to the sofa and said, “Tell me everything.”

  “We were talking about our plans for the summer and he mentioned how he needed to stay on campus for football. I didn’t believe that the team would start practice right after finals but apparently they do. He’s not going home to Pittsgrove at all! I told him that I didn’t want us to be separated for that long. Jack’s going to be with Ally, you’re going to be here, what am I supposed to do in Pittsgrove by myself for three months? Then he called me selfish; said I didn’t understand how important playing football was to him and I told him he was right. I don’t get what’s so important about it. Then he said I didn’t understand him and that I needed to care more about other people’s needs.”

  She took a breath and wiped a tear from her cheek. I encouraged her to continue because I could sense there was more to the story.

  “So then he tells me that he would miss me and maybe I could stay here in the house too so he and I would still be together for the summer. I told him I’d promised my parents I’d come home and they planned a cruise for July I didn’t want to miss. Then he called me a spoiled brat and said maybe a few months apart would be good for us. So I got mad and told him maybe we should just break up instead.”

  “Oh, Rachel,” I said sympathetically. “It sounds like you two just let your emotions get the better of you. Once you both calm down I’m sure you can work something out.”