Cupcake Love

by Diana Currie

  Steve and I looked at each other and shrugged. I felt like such an underachiever around these two. I assumed Steve felt the same judging by the way he slumped in his seat and rested his head against his hand. I remembered him telling me before how he wanted to use his computer science degree to develop video games. I wanted to read books for a living. Both seemed like perfectly respectable careers to me. I had no idea our significant others planned to change the world.

  “I really believe that all the social problems this country has are rooted in the family. I want to help as many kids as I can get what they need to grow up and become well-balanced functional members of society,” Andrea explained.

  Shane nodded. They went on and on about how rewarding it would be to help struggling families. Shane even told her how he and Ally were adopted. I’d always thought that was a sore spot for him, something he was ashamed to admit. I listened intently to the way he explained to Andrea how his experience inspired him to help other families. I realized Shane felt beholden to the people who helped him and his sister escape the abusive situation they were born into. It broke my heart to hear him describe his birth parents and their problems with alcohol and drugs. Shane was too young to remember them but he had been given access to his adoption records when he turned 18 and read about his family history.

  Eventually the conversation drifted to other topics and Steve and I were included once again. Steve was telling Shane how difficult it was living in Yankee territory while the Phillies had such a bad season last year. I was more interested in baseball than Shane so I filled his silence with my opinions about the player’s injuries and spring training.

  “I never knew you were into sports, Hannah,” Steve commented. He was obviously impressed with my baseball knowledge.

  “Oh, I uh, dated a guy at UD who was obsessed with the Phillies,” I explained bashfully. “He turned me into a baseball nut.”

  Shane’s eyes dropped to the table at my mention of Aiden. Andrea asked us what places we wanted to visit while we were there and the topic of baseball was forgotten. When we were done eating Shane and Steve squabbled over who would pay the bill and they both got up to take it to the cashier.

  “Shane got pretty gloomy when you mentioned your ex,”Andrea mused once they guys were out of earshot.

  “I don’t know why he’d be jealous. We’ve been inseparable since we got together and I never even talk to Aiden anymore.”

  “Aiden was your first kiss, your first boyfriend… he must have been special. I think it’s cute that Shane gets jealous,” she replied. “Steve and I are like an old married couple already.”

  I laughed.

  “Seriously! We’ve been together for five years, Hannah. Even that time when Steve was in Pittsgrove and I was here we were still pining for each other. I love him with my whole heart and I know I’m going to marry him, but sometimes I just wish I’d had a few more experiences. Steve’s the one and only boy I’ve ever dated.”

  “I thought you guys had an open relationship when you moved up here?” I asked.

  “We did, but I was too shy to approach any of the guys I liked. I had a few dates but none of them compared to Steve.”

  I nodded in agreement. No one had ever meant as much to me as my first love either. Just then Shane and Steve came back to the table with huge grins on their faces. I was about to ask them what they were up too when I noticed they came from the direction of the bathroom instead of the cashier. I quietly asked Shane about their odd behavior and he whispered that he’d tell me later.

  The club Andrea wanted us to see was only two more blocks away so we walked and chatted on the way. The Underground Lounge looked like a really cool place from the outside. It was below street level, hence its name, and it was quite large inside with a number of different places to hang out. We settled into a high top table in the main bar area. Steve explained that a jazz band would be coming on around nine o’clock and suggested we hang around to watch them play. It seemed like a long time to wait since it was only about 6:30 but we had nowhere else to be and the whole point to my coming to New York was to spend time with my friends and soak up some local culture. It wasn’t too loud in there to hear one another so we got comfortable and caught up with each other’s news and stories of college.

  Steve was asking me about how Mark was holding up since the Jessa fiasco. He’d seen the pictures on Facebook and wanted to know if Mark was any better. I told him about the pretty girl from Ally’s wedding that I saw him dancing with and Steve said something about Mark always having a ten second rebound when it came to rejection. I laughed. Steve looked over to Andrea who had just started explaining to Shane what courses she’d be taking in her graduate program.

  “Okay, sweetie. I know you love school but exams ended today and that means it is time to have fun,” Steve said teasingly. “By fun I mean you’re getting hammered.”

  Andrea’s eyes popped open at his bluntness but then she giggled. “Only if Hannah drinks too,” she replied.

  I looked at Shane who had a worried expression on his face. I squeezed his hand with mine and gave him a sweet smile. “What do you say? Will you drink with us?” I asked him in my most innocent voice, batting my eye lashes a few times for effect.

  Shane smirked at me and replied, “I thought you didn’t like it when I drink?”

  “I don’t like it when you drink without me,” I corrected shaking off the painful memory of finding him groping Wendy in the basement of Sigma Phi.

  “Okay, fine,” he agreed reluctantly, “but I think we should take a cab home even if it is only eight blocks away.”

  Andrea said that would be a good idea and Steve went over to the bar to get us the first round. We were talking about Ally’s wedding when he returned with a tray of alcohol.

  “What the Hell!” I exclaimed when I saw the four glasses and four shots set down on the table.

  “Okay, so we have our Jack and Coke’s here,” Steve said as he distributed the glasses. “And these are called Girl Scout Cookies.”

  He passed us each a shot and I glanced over at Shane to judge his reaction. His frat boy side was begging to come out and play; I could see it in his eyes. We lifted our drinks and the glasses clinked together as we all said cheers. I’d never had this particular shot before and it tasted really good. Andrea made a bit of a puckered face and I wondered how often she and Steve went out like this on weekends. I guessed not often.

  She and I both nursed our Jack and Cokes knowing we had time to let the alcohol do its magic slowly. Shane told us a story about one of Sigma Phi’s wild parties that had all three of us laughing. He noticed Steve’s drink was empty and tossed back the rest of his own.

  “I’ll get the next round. Any requests?” he asked.

  “Get the ones that taste like butterscotch,” I suggested.

  He winked at me and walked over to the bar. Now that I was all toasty warm inside I was beginning to get excited for the band that would soon be playing. I also couldn’t help but look forward to returning to the dorm room with Shane. I knew what alcohol did to his inhibitions and was looking forward to getting him alone and naked. He waved Steve over to the bar where he was waiting for our refills.

  “What do you think he wants?” Andrea asked after Steve walked over to the bar area.

  “Beats me,” I replied taking another sip of my drink.

  Shane and Steve started walking back from the bar with drinks in hand but the first thing I noticed was that Shane’s button down shirt was completely opened exposing a white t-shirt underneath. And Steve’s black shirt was replaced with a similar white t-shirt. As they approached I realized they were both donning tees that read “Nice Rack” across the chest, looking mighty proud of themselves. Andrea and I glared at each other in horror and then burst into laughter. So that’s what they had been up to in the restaurant. I hadn’t seen Shane act this free spirited and goofy in a very long time, maybe not since high school.

  He sat down next to me and I
crashed my lips to his despite the fact that we were both laughing. I tugged on the collared shirt until it slipped off his arms completely.

  “You look like such a fool,” I told him still grinning widely.

  “Yeah, but you love it,” he insisted. I nodded my head and kissed him again.

  After two rounds of Buttery Nipples and another Jack & Coke I was having trouble keeping my hands off my handsome, sexy boyfriend even in that ridiculous shirt. It was a little after nine o’clock and the band had started their set right on time. It became very loud inside the lounge and it was almost impossible to hold a conversation with Andrea or Steve who were on the other side of the table. I decided I would just have to enjoy the music and snuggle up with Shane instead of chit chatting with Andrea.

  Shane’s foot was tapping along with the beat as I slid my right hand discretely under the table and caressed his thigh. I felt him jolt from my touch as I grazed the inseam of his jeans. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and gave me a mischievous look. I could see the desire blazing in his eyes. Sometimes I still couldn’t believe Shane was here, with me, and we were in love. I wanted to look over my shoulder to see if there was a beautiful blonde standing behind me that he was really making those eyes at. But no, it was me, gazing at me with such love and intensity I thought I might burst into flames.

  I was officially ready to call it a night. Andrea looked like she was enjoying the music and so did Steve. Shane and I would have to endure the rest of the band’s performance before we could fake yawn a few times and head back to the dorms. I bit my lower lip and squeezed his inner thigh. God I was a fool for this man. It had only been one day since we’d last been intimate and I was already desperate for him to touch me again.

  By the time we made it back to our room and had said good night to Andrea and Steve I felt like I was going to explode. I wasn’t too drunk that I felt sick or sleepy but drunk enough to tell Shane exactly what I wanted. And I wanted sex. Lucky for me Shane wanted the same thing.

  CHAPTER 34: THE BIG APPLE part 2

  Our lips crashed together the second the door clicked shut. My hands wrapped around his middle and started pulling that stupid t-shirt off his body. His fingers ghosted over the skin at my waist and caressing my backside in a teasing fashion. I pushed his hands away and threw off my top in one quick motion.

  “Eager tonight, aren’t you?” Shane teased.

  “I need you so bad, Shane,” I moaned against his mouth.

  “Shit, Hannah. I had no idea you got like this when you drank.”

  Neither did I but it was certainly a side effect that I welcomed. I reached for his jeans and worked my fingers over his belt buckle. “I think it’s you who’s making me like this,” I said, cupping the obvious erection inside his jeans. “Don’t you like it?”

  “Fuck, yes,” Shane growled and slammed my back against the door. “Sorry, that was a little rough.”

  “I want it rough,” I whispered.

  “Shit, Hannah.”

  I twisted my fingers into his hair and tugged at the roots. He quickly unbuttoned the fly of my jeans and slid them down to the floor. One hand cupped my breast and the other circled my back and unclasped the bra hooks. His hand over my breast tore at the fabric and tossed it to the floor. We tore at our remaining clothes until there was nothing between us but air, but still it was too much. I gripped his hips and pulled his body firmly against mine. Shane’s hands each grasped a handful of my ass as he lifted me off the ground. My legs wrapped around his torso as he walked us to the bed.

  He laid me down gently and I felt his hands caress my ankles, slowly sliding up my legs until he reached my hips. I let out a whimper of desire. There was no need to continue teasing me, I was ready for him. I couldn’t wait much longer.

  “I’m going to give you the best night you’ve ever had,” he said assertively.

  I moaned and stretched my arms over my head, offering myself to him. “I’m ready now, Shane,” I begged my voice barely audible. It seemed as though the alcohol had thoroughly washed away all my reservations. I was ready to let him do whatever he wanted with me.

  His hands moved slowly back down each leg and I thought I would lose my mind from his taunting.

  “Patience, baby,” he said, shooting me a wicked grin. I knew Shane was slowly trying to make me lose my mind. My hands stretched further over my head and gripped the edge of the mattress.

  “I love hearing you, Hannah. I want everyone in this building to hear you.”

  “Oh God, Shane,” I moaned.

  My intoxicated mind could think of nothing but my need for this man as he made love to me. We’d never been quite so passionate and adventurous and I wondered if it was the alcohol or New York City that was the cause. Either way I was grateful for it.

  “That was amazing,” I told him.

  “You’re amazing,” he replied.

  Shane kissed his way up my body as I struggled to return my breathing to normal. He looked very smug as his lips pressed against my collar bone and his striking blue eyes studied mine. “Haven’t you had enough?” he asked chuckling.

  “Never,” I whispered pushing him onto his back.

  Shane groaned. The corners of his mouth turned up and his eyes were filled with lust. “You are so beautiful, Hannah,” he whispered.

  “I don’t want you to make a single sound right now, Shane. You curse like a sailor when we make love.”

  “Fuck,” he breathed.

  I stopped what I was doing and gave him a disapproving glare. Shane pressed his lips together firmly realizing his mistake.

  “That’s better,” I said.

  I watched Shane’s face twist and strain, moaning and panting as I made love to him. He never looked so beautiful. I reveled in the fact that I could make him feel that way. When round two was over he pulled my tired body beside his on the small bed until we were facing each other.

  “Always surprising me, Hannah,” he sighed grinning. We kissed and caressed one another gently, our bodies completely spent, until exhaustion finally claimed us.

  *~*

  Shane and I spent the next day down at the NYU law school. We walked around campus and checked out the library and many other buildings. There weren’t any official tours available since it was the end of the semester but we were able to wander around on our own and explore a lot of the academic buildings. We met up with Andrea in the afternoon for a late lunch and then visited the 9/11 memorial together.

  Shane couldn’t stop talking about NYU in the cab ride back to Columbia. I knew we were going to have to have that discussion I’d been putting off for months now. Did he even realize how hard it would be for me if he left after next year? Four years was a long time to be away. Maybe he assumed I would just follow him to New York? Or maybe, and this thought sent a terrible pain through my heart, maybe his aspirations to become a lawyer were more important to him than our relationship.

  We decided to rest in the dorms for a while after all that walking and hung out in the lounge area watching television. There wasn’t much on and after about an hour Andrea mentioned that she needed to call her mom. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to talk a little with Shane about grad school while the memories of our visit to campus were still fresh on our minds. We made plans to go out to dinner with Andrea at eight o’clock and went back to our room to be alone.

  Shane lay down on the bed and stretched out like he was ready to take a nap. His feet stuck out over the end of the mattress, looking the picture of ease. I wondered if he had given our future as much thought as I had. To be fair, we’d only been dating four months. He didn’t know it but I’d been planning my life with Shane since we were sixteen years old. I wasn’t sure how to bring up the subject of our future together.

  “Are you tired or can we talk for a little bit?” I asked hesitantly.

  His eyes opened and motioned for me to come lay with him. “What’s on your mind, baby?”

  I sat next to him in the middle
of the bed and took his hand in mine. “I wanted to talk about what’s going to happen with us after graduation. I understand that it’s still a year away and we haven’t been together that long but I need to know what your plans are. I mean, I don’t want to spend the next year wondering what’s going to happen to us if you move up here. I ignored the giant elephant in the room when I was with Aiden. I pretended that it wasn’t really you I’d wanted to be with all that time and all three of us ended up getting hurt. Problems don’t just go away because you ignore them and if you’re really serious about moving here after we graduate from UD then I need to know what that means for us.”

  I sighed in relief that I finally got my concerns off my chest. Shane stared blankly at me for thirty seconds or so and I waited patiently for my words to soak in. The longer he went without speaking the more nervous I became.

  “You’re right. There’s no point in waiting to have this discussion,” he said slowly as if he was still formulating his thoughts as he spoke. “Hannah, I want to go to law school. Of all my options I feel like NYU is the best place for me. I know that four years is a long time and I should have told you how I felt before this, so I’m sorry.”

  I felt the blood rush out of my face and my hands get clammy. What was he saying? I thought my worst fears were being confirmed, that Shane did put his career ahead of me and I would have to either go with the flow or lose him. I stared at him not knowing what to say next.

  “But what I want more than anything is you,” he said lifting our entwined hands to stroke my cheek. “I can’t live without you, Hannah. I’ve never been so happy in my life than during these last four months so if you need to be in Philadelphia, or Chicago, or Little Rock, Arkansas that’s where I’ll be too.”

  My mouth dropped open and I couldn’t help the dumbfounded expression I must have been wearing.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” he chuckled. “I love this city, Hannah, and I want to be here. But if you wouldn’t be happy here too then I’ll apply to schools in any city where you want to go.”