Alex laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come across as overzealous. I’m just not sure if you’ll give me this chance again, and I thought we could make a day of it.”
Seeing the sincerity in Alex’s expression, Christian relaxed. “Well…okay. But can we make it a little later? I have some things to take care of first. I could meet you at one o’clock.”
“That’ll be great.” Alex waited a moment and decided to take a chance. “Would you like to come up for a bit now? You can’t be very comfortable sitting in that kayak. I can get you something to drink—I have a few things out here in the cooler. Or I could go inside and get you something to eat.”
“Thanks, no. I really should be getting back. And I’ll let you get back to your sunbathing.” Alex felt her cheeks grow warm, but she enjoyed Christian’s grin. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Tomorrow.” She held Christian’s gaze for a moment before giving her boat a gentle push to send her back out onto the lake. “Be safe out there.”
As she watched Christian paddle off, the memory of her smile warmed her. She could see Christian’s uncertainty, but she thought she had seen something else in her gaze too, the subtle hint of desire. Alex clenched her teeth as a shudder of want ran through her. Her mind spun as she put together plans for her day with Christian. Tomorrow. She might only get one chance. Tomorrow had to be perfect.
She could hardly believe what was happening to her. She hadn’t wanted to share a woman’s company in so long that she had forgotten what it was like to feel the first flutters of excitement and anticipation. She couldn’t describe the connection she’d felt with Christian from the first moment she’d laid eyes on her, but she felt drawn to her like the flowers that lift their faces to follow the sun. It was as if a part of her was only complete when Christian was there.
She jumped up and gathered her things. There was a lot to be done before tomorrow.
Chapter Eleven
Christian faced Elaine across their usual table and waited for their food to be served before launching into her account of what had happened with Alex. Since leaving Alex on the dock, she had managed to work herself into a near frenzy thinking about her, and she was going to burst if she didn’t talk about it.
Elaine laughed at her fluster as she talked nervously about her plans with Alex. “What are you worried about? She’s been very caring, and you said yourself you were comfortable being with her.”
Exasperated, Christian’s voice was shrill. “That’s what makes me so anxious. I’m not used to being comfortable. What if she thinks this is a date? I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m not ready to think about a woman in that way. I’m scared,” Christian admitted, gesturing wildly with her hands. She couldn’t stop brushing her fingertips along the dip at the base of her throat and her skin tingled at her own touch.
Elaine eyed Christian over her glass of cranberry and vodka. “You know what I think? I think the reason you’re scared is because you think this is a date. Or perhaps you want it to be.”
Christian opened her mouth to protest, gasping at the thought, but Elaine cut her off before she could interject. “Put away those expectations and just go with it. Go see what happens. Honestly, I’m afraid, at this rate, you’re going to have a stroke. You decide what happens. What is there to be afraid of?”
Christian thought about the question for a moment, feeling a slight catch in her throat. She was afraid of caring for someone again. That was the last thing she wanted. Alex was already too tempting. If she was already thinking about Alex all the time, what would happen if she actually spent time with her? But maybe if she did spend time with Alex, she would realize this desire was just a fantasy. Maybe she was making too much out of this, after all. “You’re right,” she said with more confidence than she really felt. Drawing a deep breath and trying to regain her composure, she smiled, not wanting Elaine to guess the real reason for her fear. “I’m making too much of this. It’s a simple dinner with a new friend.”
Elaine nodded, her grin still playing at the corner of her mouth. “That’s right, dear, just dinner with your hopelessly gorgeous new friend!”
*
Alex arrived at the lodge at five minutes to one, pulling her black Jeep Wrangler to the front and jumping out to run up the steps leading to the entrance.
“Hi, Alex,” a familiar happy voice called as she came into the lobby. “What’s up? Was everything okay with the packages you ordered?”
Alex turned to meet Hannah as she crossed the room toward her. She had put in a rush order for some items from a boutique in town that she wanted for her outing with Christian and had picked them up early that morning. It wasn’t unusual for her to have packages delivered to the lodge, but it was unusual for her to make more than one trip to the lodge in a given day. “Hi, Hannah,” Alex returned in greeting. “Everything was fine. I’m here to pick Christian up for an outing. Do you know where she is?”
“Last I saw her, she was having lunch out on the patio, but let me ring her room. She may be there if she’s expecting you.”
“Thanks,” Alex said, shifting back and forth on her feet, hoping Christian hadn’t changed her mind. In some ways, she had been waiting for this day for ages, and based on Christian’s past distance with her, she thought it very possible she might back out.
Alex jumped as a soft hand touched the back of her arm, and she heard Christian’s gentle voice close to her ear. “Right on time, I see.”
Turning, Alex was momentarily stunned by Christian’s warm smile. She took in the casual black cotton shirt and cream-colored linen shorts that showed off Christian’s lean form. Trying to ignore the jolt of pleasure that suddenly ran through to her core, Alex smiled. “I hope so. Are you ready?”
Hannah hung up the phone and stood watching the exchange. “Anything I can take care of for you, Ms. Sutter?” Hannah asked.
“No, thank you, Hannah, but I’ll call if anything comes up.”
Alex gestured toward the door with a casual toss of her hand. “Ready?” Alex held out her hand to Christian, hoping for even the smallest amount of contact.
Christian took Alex by the hand with a smile. “Ready.”
Alex’s heart raced and her feet seemed to no longer be touching the ground when Christian’s hand closed around her own.
Alex drove along the dirt road leading to her cabin, pleased by the way Christian smiled as the wind swirled around her in the open air. The road leading to the cabin was little more than a trail cut through the trees and followed the hills and valleys of the terrain, making for a mini roller-coaster ride. Alex watched Christian shield her eyes from the flashes of sunlight that played across the path and danced across her face. She couldn’t help but laugh when Christian shrieked as the Jeep jostled over occasional rocks and dips in the road, and she enjoyed watching the pleasure and surprise playing across Christian’s face.
Christian smoothed her windblown hair back from her face as Alex finally pulled the Jeep to a stop at the water’s edge, in front of her cabin. A small ski boat was tied to the dock. Christian’s eyes widened with surprise. “Are we going out on that boat?”
“Yes,” Alex said. The excitement in Christian’s voice fueled her own. She wanted to make Christian happy, and at that moment, she couldn’t think of anything more important. “If that’s okay. I know you love being on the water, and I thought this might be fun.” Alex looked toward Christian hopefully. Her insides churned with hope and uncertainty.
“I’d love it,” Christian said, “but I’m hardly prepared to be on the water. I didn’t bring any clothes or gear.”
“You won’t need anything,” Alex reassured her. “I had everything I thought you might need delivered with my supplies.” Giving her shoulders a shrug she added, “I remembered your size from cleaning your clothes, and I thought it would be more of a surprise this way.”
“You ordered clothes for me?”
Hearing the uncertainty in the question, Alex gave a nerv
ous laugh. “Yeah, I did…but not in a creepy stalker kind of way.”
At this, Christian laughed too. “Sorry. You just caught me off guard, that’s all.”
“It’s okay. Now that I think about it, I can see how strange this must seem. I assure you, I never meant to make you uncomfortable. If you’d rather do something else, I’ll understand.” Alex mentally kicked herself. She was trying too hard. It was difficult to know where the balance was. She hadn’t been involved with anyone in a long time, and she had been with Sophia for so long it had seemed natural to do these kinds of things. She had to do better, or she might push Christian away. She promised herself to play it cool for the rest of the day and not try so hard.
Christian glanced toward the boat, then looked Alex square in the eye. “No,” she said, “I trust you.”
Alex felt Christian’s gaze on her like an electric shock and sensed the sincerity of her words. She desperately wanted to deserve that trust. “Good. Everything is already loaded on the boat. You can change in the house, and we’ll be ready to go.”
*
Alex was right. Everything Christian needed had been laid neatly on the bathroom counter. Christian sighed, taking in the array of packages, noting the inclusion of more than one swimsuit style to accommodate varying levels of comfort and exposure. It seemed Alex had thought of everything.Christian selected a modest two-piece bathing suit, a silk wrap, and a pair of flip-flops, and a pair of shorts and a sleeveless top to wear over the bathing suit. Alex was either very considerate or very controlling—and while she couldn’t imagine Alex as the controlling type, everything she had seen told her Alex was very caring. Christian pondered that, surprisingly pleased that Alex would go to so much trouble for her. She slipped into the clothes, noticing how the silky fabric caressed her skin. Knowing Alex had thoughtfully selected each piece was like having Alex’s hands caress her. Christian shivered at the intimacy.
Once dressed, Christian made her way back to the dock, where Alex sat, waiting. As she moved to step from the dock to the boat, Alex extended her hand.
Christian pushed down a protest as she felt herself stiffen. I can do it. After the accident everyone had tiptoed around her like she was a cracked piece of glass that could shatter at any moment. She didn’t want Alex to think of her as someone constantly needing to be rescued. Then she saw gentleness in Alex’s eyes, not pity. She took the offered hand and allowed Alex to guide her forward. As the boat shifted from the motion, Christian stumbled and found herself pulled suddenly against Alex. Reflexively, she squeezed Alex’s hand and grabbed Alex by the waist to steady herself. Her body came alive where their skin met, and Christian relaxed under Alex’s touch.
Suddenly very aware of herself, Christian felt shy, her face growing warm, and she pushed away from Alex’s embrace. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to this,” she said, admitting her fluster. “I’m a lawyer, for Christ’s sake. I’m used to being in control. It’s a bit, well, it’s different to allow someone to help me.”
Alex didn’t move, her hand still gently holding Christian’s arm. “I’m not very good at roles,” Alex said, her face soft and her voice tender. “Helping and being helped have nothing to do with strength and weakness. It’s just something we all share. I find it a strength to be trusting enough of another to know when to help and when to ask for help.”
Christian studied Alex thoughtfully and realized Alex was simply stating the world as she saw it. And Christian thought of her relationship with Elaine. Trusting and being trusted. That was what she and Elaine shared. She knew that she trusted Alex too, but her feelings for Alex were on the cusp of being so much more than friendship. She had to decide if she could trust Alex with her heart. “Thank you,” Christian said, smiling. “You’re right.”
Settling in, Alex turned the boat to the open channel of the lake. “Here we go.”
Christian thought her lungs might burst from the wind and the joy. The scene was breathtaking. Clear, smooth water stretched out before them, surrounded by rolling mountains, some so tall and far in the distance that they became a line of blue haze set against the rich azure sky. I could stay out here forever, Christian thought as she felt the tension slip from her shoulders and melt into the wind. She could feel the clean fresh air, pulled from the water’s surface, fill her lungs. Sitting in the front of the boat, she felt the world rush up to meet her. But it was more than the lake and the wind and the mountains that she wanted to cling to, it was the feeling of belonging that came with being with Alex.
Turning to look back at Alex, expertly driving the boat across the water, Christian watched the wind push the hair back from Alex’s face, exposing her strong, angular features. Watching her hair dance in the wind, Christian imagined her fingers wrapped in that hair, stroking the locks back to peer into those deep blue eyes. As she watched Alex, an awareness settled over her: she felt happy here. It was a feeling of purity, a quieting of her normally restless mind. She smiled and turned away to focus again on the picture of heaven laid out before her.
The boat slowed as Alex pulled off the main current into a cove. After a few minutes, an old spillway came into view. Seeing Christian sit up with interest, Alex pointed toward the remnants of old stone walls on the hill and said, “There used to be a gristmill there on the hill, and if you cross into the stream, you can still make out the foundations and chimneys from the old buildings.”
Christian’s eyes grew wide and her mouth fell slightly open as if in awe of her surroundings, and Alex heard her gasp. “Wow,” she murmured.
“I thought this might be the kind of thing you’d like to see,” Alex said, pleased to see the glint of joy in Christian’s eyes.
“It’s perfect, Alex.”
Alex smiled, pleased with herself. Once she had let herself relax with Christian, everything seemed to flow naturally between them. It was nice to see Christian just letting herself enjoy the moment. There was no sign of the usual pain or stress that usually clouded her expressions. Alex had watched Christian transform, as if years had faded from her eyes, and the smile that played at the corner of her mouth now hinted of playfulness. She felt herself relax with the realization that she too was beginning to let go.
They settled in with the boat and had been floating and swimming in the cool water for quite some time when Christian pointed out that Alex’s shoulders were looking a little red. “You should let me put some sunscreen on your shoulders, or you’re going to burn.”
Giving her skin a glance, Alex grimaced. “Probably a good idea, do you mind?”
Christian smiled. “Come on, we probably need to dry out a little anyway,” she said, making her way to the boat.
Alex trod her way over to Christian and the boat. Just as she was about to grab the ladder, Christian slipped, falling back into her. Without hesitation, Alex grabbed Christian, both hands gripping her waist, and Christian’s weight pushed her underwater for a moment. As she surfaced, she held Christian firmly against her body and felt the muscles in Christian’s back tremor as she laughed.
“Oops. Sorry,” Christian said, still laughing, as she pushed Alex’s hair back from her face and tried to wipe the streams of water running into her eyes with gentle strokes of her hands.
Alex held Christian, mesmerized as she felt the gentle fingers playing along her face and through her hair. Faint currents of electricity flowed across her skin with each touch of Christian’s fingers. She was so close, Alex could feel her breath on her face like a cool breeze. Alex wanted to kiss her, wanted so much to taste her mouth, but she didn’t want the moment to change, and Christian’s laughter was all she really needed for now. Gathering herself, she laughed and released her tight grip on Christian, allowing some space between them. As Christian turned to try the ladder again, Alex gently lifted her, holding her protectively. The rush of emotions was too fast to temper, and she felt herself redden at the surging pleasure. Pulling herself onto the boat, she ducked her gaze as Christian handed her a towel.
“Th
anks,” Alex said, feeling the heat flaming beneath her cheeks.
“Come here,” Christian said as she took a seat under the protection of the Bimini top that covered the back half of the boat.
Alex followed and sat next to Christian, turning her back so Christian could easily reach her shoulders. She felt her breath catch and her heart beat against her chest as Christian’s hands played along her skin, rubbing in the sunscreen and breaking her resistance. With each stroke of Christian’s hands along her shoulders, down her arms, and across her back, Alex felt as if she were being molded into an entirely different being. It was like she was the clay on the potter’s wheel, and she knew what it was like to be taken from a misshapen form and remade into something new. Heat boiled beneath her skin, and she melted into Christian’s touch. Her eyes closed, and her only awareness became the thrum of energy gathering inside her. She felt the wetness surge between her thighs.
Christian took in the strong back and muscular shoulders beneath her hands. Alex wore a two-piece bathing suit with a top resembling a sports bra. Christian ran her hands across Alex’s shoulders and down her arms. She made sure to cover the tender area at the back of Alex’s neck. She felt Alex’s muscles tense as she ran her fingers under the thin straps of the bathing suit, massaging the angry red lines that marked her skin. Her heart began to race, and a growing tingling twined itself into a coil in her middle. Her hands seemed to move of their own accord as she became more and more lost in the sensation of Alex’s skin.
She could feel the taut muscles roll beneath her fingertips as her breathing matched the stroke of her hands on Alex’s skin. Her body swayed with the rhythm of her hands and her breathing, until she found herself swaying so close to Alex that her lips almost touched her skin.
Healing Hearts Page 9
