These Boots Are Made for Stalking

by Lisi Harrison

  Layne pushed herself to her feet, looking sheepish. Sorry, she mouthed.

  Claire reached for her tote and dragged herself out of the stall.

  “Nice try, girls.” Massie was standing in front of the sinks, her iPhone in her jeans pocket.

  “Huh?” Claire crinkled her nose in a last-ditch attempt, her desperation skyrocketing. “I don’t know what you’re—”

  Yap! Yap! Ya—

  “Is that the SnoopDawg Web site?” Claire demanded.

  Massie jammed her thumb into her iPhone to silence the barking, but it was too late. Her face went paler than her cream cowl-neck sweater.

  The girls stared at one another, their blown cover stories hanging heavy around them in the Lysoled air. After a few beats of silence, Layne snorted. Massie side-glanced at Claire, her glossy lips twitching. Finally, they all cracked up. But even though she was laughing, part of Claire wanted to go back in the stall, lock the door, and cry.

  THE BLOCK ESTATE

  UPGRADE HEADQUARTERS/THE SPA

  Friday, November 7th

  6:04 P.M.

  “Ahhhhhh-tention!” Massie twisted the dimmer switch on the tiled wall next to the sauna, plunging the wet section of the spa into complete darkness. She let her fingertips linger on the switch a few seconds longer, the humid darkness shielding her from view while she tried to swallow the 9-karat anxiety lump forming in her throat. “Are you girls ready for your upgrade?”

  “Yaaaay!” the PC echoed. When Massie flicked the dial back to position, the track lighting spotlighted Kristen, Dylan, and Alicia, who were perched on the marble edge of the bubbling Jacuzzi, hugging their knees to their chests and bouncing in place like shivering birds on a wire.

  “Same,” Massie lied, wondering if it was too late to claim bad sushi. Or maybe bad bronzer? Toxic waterproof mascara? Gloss poisoning? She triple-knotted the halter on her canary yellow Milly Shimmer Sorrento bikini top, locking in her A-cups. What had she been thinking, inviting her crush and all his friends to see her in her bathing suit? It was a bigger mistake than Kim Kardashian going blond.

  “We need tunes.” Kristen leapt off the edge of the tub, her bare feet slapping against the slick tile floor as she headed for the wall-mounted iPod dock next to the shower. “Layne e-mailed me all the songs on her brother’s shuffle, and I made a ninth-grade mix.” She hovered over the dock, her fluffy center-parted waves falling over her eyes. In seconds, the gravelly sounds of Kings of Leon filled the spa.

  “Good thinking.” Massie tensed her abs to the rhythm of the churning Jacuzzi jets, hoping to speed-tone them in the last few minutes before Landon arrived.

  “Are you gonna take that thing awf?” Dylan wrinkled her nose at Kristen’s pink and black Roxy wet suit. “I don’t think ninth-grade guys like girls in full-body rubber.”

  “For one thing,” Kristen said defensively, tucking her pouffy hair behind her ears, “this wet suit is exactly like the one Hayden wore to save the dolphins.” She gripped the zipper beneath her chin, and with a dramatic flourish, yanked it down to reveal a sporty red two-piece underneath. “Plus, my mom would never let me out of the house in this,” she grinned, cranking up the volume on the iPod.

  “Ow, ow!” Dylan hooted over a drum solo. “Way hotter.”

  “Are you gonna take that thing off?” Alicia dunked the tips of her toes in the Jacuzzi, flicking water at Dylan’s gauzy, black floor-length caftan. “’Cause I know ninth-grade guys don’t like girls in muumuus.” She retied the bows on the sides of her skimpy plaid Burberry bikini.

  “But you guys said this was sexy, in a nawt-too-obvious kind of way.” Dylan tightened her high pony, looking panicked.

  “We meant sexy in a not-obvious-at-all kind of way,” Alicia cracked. The humidity in the spa was making her own voluminous waves grow bigger by the second. Was it making her C-cups grow too? Massie could have sworn they weren’t this big last week.

  “Focus,” Massie clapped. She glanced at her reflection in the steamy green glass of the shower stall door. Thanks to one of Jakkob’s legendary blowouts, the moisture-dense air couldn’t touch her perfectly smooth tresses. Her bright yellow bikini played off the gold flecks in her eyes, and her Pilates-sculpted arms were toned without being Madonna-scary. Objectively, she was a 10, even if her nerves were off the charts.

  The spa was a 10 too. In less than a week, Massie, Alicia, Dylan, and Kristen had transformed both themselves and the spa into a high school boy’s dream. So her legs ached from canvassing the entire island of Manhattan for the perfect bathing suit. And her index finger and thumb had almost frozen in their AmEx-swiping position. But looking around her, she saw that it had all been worth it.

  Fragrant sandalwood drifted through the spa’s surround-scent system, replacing the sweet hint of lavender that usually filled the air. The rich, spicy aroma made the spa feel a hundred times more guy friendly. On the flat screen in the dry section, Guitar Hero: Smash Hits was prepped and ready to rock ’n’ roll. And in the corner were two fluffy dog beds for Bark and Bean, custom-ordered from Bark Jacobs. Massie had even put together special doggie bags for the puppies, filled with water wings, tiny beach towels, and two miniature lounge chairs for when they wanted to relax Jacuzzi-side.

  “So give us the rundown again.” Alicia twirled the diamond post in her left ear at top speed.

  “Landon’s bringing four guys,” Massie explained, hovering over the dimmer switch and easing it to the left and right to get the mood lighting perfect. “One for Claire too, in case she comes to her senses in the next few hours.”

  The girls exchanged glances that said, Doubt it.

  Massie flicked her hair over her shoulder. “First is Scott. He was the one who DJ’d at the Ho Ho Homeless benefit. Super-tall, blond, blue eyes.”

  “Mine!” Kristen slapped her rubber-shellacked thigh.

  “No fair!” Alicia pouted, elbowing Kristen in the ribs. “I like music.”

  Kristen elbowed her back. “Well, I like blonds.”

  “There’s more,” Massie said reassuringly. “He’s also bringing Aidan, who’s into photography, Luke, who’s some sort of genius on the drums, and Jackson.”

  “What’s he do?” Dylan tugged at her caftan.

  Massie shrugged. “I think he’s a vegetarian?”

  Dylan wrinkled her nose. “Pass.”

  “Claire can have him,” Massie decided. “His eyes are the same color, but apparently one side of his hair is buzzed and the other is ear-length.”

  “That’s kind of the same,” Dylan conceded.

  Just then, Bark Obama’s high-pitched yap sounded outside. On cue, Bean sprinted into the spa from the next room, wearing a teeny purple bikini and metallic booties.

  “They’re here!” the girls whisper-shrieked in their huddle.

  “How’s my hair?” Alicia hissed, patting her gigantic, humidity-infused waves.

  “Fine,” Massie said without looking. Even though the spa was warmer than her favorite Theory sweater poncho, goose bumps suddenly surfaced on her oil-slicked skin. “Remember, don’t ask them lots of questions about what it’s like to be in high school.”

  “OMG, good call.” Kristen fiddled with the zipper of her wetsuit, sliding it up and down.

  “And don’t say ‘OMG’ or ‘BFF.’ In ninth, they think that’s immature.”

  Dylan chewed her bottom lip. “But I don’t speak Nine-eeeeese!” she whisper-wailed. “What if I say something stupid?”

  “Don’t.” Massie straightened up and spritzed a final layer of Sephora Super Sheen Bronzing Mist on her face. Then she focused her megawatt smile on the doorway. Her PC upgrade was about to begin. It was more exciting than the opening night of Paris Fashion Week.

  “I’m telling you, dude, it was totally off the chain.” Landon’s friend Scott, in red board shorts and a gray Jimi Hendrix T-shirt, ducked through the doorway first.

  “Right?” Landon came in next, carrying Bark, whose paw was cradled in a stylish olive-green nylon sli
ng.

  “Oh, heyyyyyy,” Massie said casually, like she’d completely forgotten the boys were coming. She took a few cautious steps toward Bark, who shrank into Landon’s white cotton V-neck–covered chest.

  “What’s up?” Landon tossed his dark waves away from his eyes. He lowered Bark to the floor, and the puppy limped excitedly toward Bean, who showered him in tiny tongue kisses.

  “Good. I mean, nuh-thing.” Massie forced a smile, even though Bark’s rejection stung like ocean water on freshly shaved legs. She had sent Bark his own personal invite to her pet-friendly Facebook page and had texted get-well wishes every morning for the past three days. What more could the puppy possibly want?

  Three more guys herded through the door behind her crush.

  “So this is Aidan, Luke, and Jackson,” Landon announced.

  “Holla.” Aidan lifted his tanned palm, tossing shiny, dark bangs out of his eyes.

  Alicia swallowed. “Hey.” She batted her thick, quadruple-coated lashes.

  “Cool… dress?” Luke, a tall blond in brown cargos and a hoodie, nodded at Dylan.

  “Uh… thanks.” Dylan’s cheeks flushed redder than Kristen’s bikini.

  “Kings of Leon!” Scott grin-acknowledged Massie and headed straight for the iPod dock. “This album totally changed my life.”

  “OMG, me too!” Kristen wiggled out of her wet suit and kick-flicked it across the floor.“I mean… yeah. Same.”

  Jackson, a skinny hipster in gray jeans and a flannel shirt, tucked the jaw-length side of his hair behind his ear. “Thanks for the invite,” he said, flashing the girls a smile that almost made up for the half-buzzed cut.

  Massie nodded, then refocused on Landon. “So how’s Bark?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and sucking in her abs. She was glad the Jacuzzi jets were going full-speed. Hopefully, they’d drown out her thumping heart.

  “Better.” Landon’s single dimple looked extra adorable in the dim lighting. “But he could definitely use some Jacuzzi time.”

  “He’s not the only one.” Luke tugged his hoodie over his head.

  With a deep breath, Dylan gripped her caftan and yanked it off in less than two seconds flat. Then she slid into the Jacuzzi in record time. Alicia and Kristen followed. Massie lingered behind with Landon, who had crouched to the ground and was slipping Bark’s sling from around the puppy’s shoulder.

  “Thanks again for the SnoopDawg,” Landon said, straightening up again. His arm brushed against Massie’s bronzed skin, sending seismic love waves pulsing through her body. “I’ve been checking on Bark between classes and stuff. Makes me feel a lot better to keep an eye on him and see what he’s up to, ya know?”

  “Of course.” Massie nodded. “Bean has an extra pair of these, if you want,” she said, handing Landon the pair of water wings from Bark’s doggie bag.

  “Great.” Landon scooped Bark off the floor and carried him to the hot tub, sliding on the wings and placing him in the water next to Bean. The puppies closed their eyes, hovering weightlessly in the sandalwood-scented water.

  “Man, this place is awesome.” Aidan stretched out, semi-putting his arm around Alicia. She blushed and sank lower into the water so the bubbles covered her C-cups.

  “Nooooo kidding,” Landon groaned, easing in next to Scott.

  “You ever see these guys in concert?” Scott asked Kristen, jerking his head toward the iPod, his sandy waves covering one eye. “It’s, like, a spiritual experience.”

  “Seriously?” Kristen looked hypnotized. “Cool.”

  Massie beamed at her girls, lifting her legs over the edge of the tub. What had she been so nervous about? The upgrade was going smoother than—

  “Ehmagawsh!” Claire’s voice bounced off the seafoam-colored tiles. “Cam! It’s Massie and Landon. And… some guys.”

  Massie whip-turned around, nearly tumbling off the edge of the tub. Claire was standing there with her arms crossed over her gray Old Navy hoodie, arching her white-blond eyebrows smugly. Behind her were Cam, Dempsey, Derrington, and Josh.

  Massie felt a tiny bronze sweat droplet slip from the tip of her nose to her left boob, staining her yellow bikini top. And then another. And another. Her confidence, along with her makeup, was disappearing faster than Dylan’s Halloween candy stash.

  “’Scuze me,” Massie wheezed, planting her dripping soles on the cold marble floor. Whipping a towel around her, she slipped and slid across the spa, leaving faux-tan footprints behind her. Too bad Claire hadn’t picked a better outfit. It was definitely gonna be her last.

  “We were just in the neighborhood, and we thought we’d stop by.” Claire grabbed Cam’s arm and dragged him toward the Jacuzzi, smearing Massie’s footprints with her Keds along the way. “Hi. I’m Claire,” she said, sitting with Cam on the edge of the tub. The rest of the boys filed in behind, leaving Massie seething at the door.

  “Hey, girls,” Claire sang. “Look who’s here!”

  Alicia stared down at the bubbles bursting beneath her nose.

  Kristen dragged Bean to her chest, pretending to adjust her water wings.

  And Dylan’s smile evaporated when she saw Derrington, whose soccer uniform was on backward.

  “Hey.” Luke, Aidan, Scott, and Jackson nodded at the guys.

  But the PC’s ex-crushes just stood there. Massie debated making a break for the main house and leaving the girls to fend for themselves. But she’d never make it barefoot all the way to the house without destroying her pedi. Plus, giving up would mean Claire had won. So she stalked back to the Jacuzzi in her makeup-stained suit. Why hadn’t she thought to bring a backup?

  “You get dressed in the mirror or something?” Luke cracked, craning his neck toward Derrington.

  Aidan snorted and clapped Luke on the shoulder.

  Dylan sank a little lower in the hot tub. The water level was inching past her lips and tickling her nose. She looked like she wanted to sink to the bottom and disappear forever.

  “Lost a bet.” Derrington finally spoke up, without tearing his gaze away from Dylan. He shrugged. “What’re you gonna do?”

  “I hear ya,” Luke nodded sympathetically. “One time I lost a bet and had to shave my whole body.”

  “Ew!” Alicia squealed, then slapped her palm over her mouth.

  “For real?” Derrington’s eyes lit up. “Like”—he lowered his voice—“everything?”

  Luke nodded solemnly.

  “Awwwwesome!” Derrington bellowed. He lumbered over to the hot tub, wearing his soccer cleats on the wrong feet. Massie sucked in a sharp breath, resisting the urge to trip him. Even though he deserved it for showing up uninvited.

  “You guys go to Briarwood?” Aidan asked.

  “Yeah,” Cam nodded.

  “I heard the new building was really sweet,” Jackson said, leaning back as Bean and Bark doggie-paddled laps across the Jacuzzi.

  “Is this the new Kings of Leon?” Dempsey examined the iPod dock on the wall. “Track eight is, like… spiritual.” He turned up the volume and rocked out on air drums. The vibrations from the bass made Massie’s entire body shake. Or maybe that was pure rage.

  “No way!” Scott jumped up, soaking Kristen’s hair. Her pouffy waves shriveled instantly. “I was just saying that.” He glanced down at Kristen. “Wasn’t I just saying that?”

  Eh-ma-OUT! Massie wanted to scream. Then she wanted to strangle Claire with the laces from Derrington’s cleats. She probably would have, if she wasn’t so sure Landon would think that was a quote-unquote “immature” way to handle conflict.

  Dylan’s, Kristen’s, and Alicia’s eyes all widened in panic, silently begging Massie to do something. But she was too shocked to think straight. Their exes weren’t supposed to be friends with their upgrades! It was unnatural! The only people in the history of the universe to make it work were Demi, Ashton, and Bruce. And nobody believed them anyway.

  “Guitar Hero! Smash Hits!” Josh yelled from the dry section.

  “Score!”
Derrington hobbled-ran toward the glass door that separated the wet and dry sections of the spa. Dempsey followed, like Josh had just announced he was giving away free hundred-dollar bills with a side of cheese fries.

  Finally. When the last of the exes had crossed over into the next room, Massie slid the glass door shut and turned the lock with a satisfying click, separating the men from the boys.

  “Claire? Cam?” Massie sang, crossing back toward the tub. “Jacuzzi?” She lifted a fluffy towel from the top of the stack and whipped it at Claire with extra force.

  Claire ducked, and the towel sailed over her head. “No thanks. Forgot my suit,” she mumbled.

  “Too bad.” Massie sat on the cool marble edge of the Jacuzzi and slid into the steamy water next to Landon. “Sorry about that,” she said as she giggle-shifted a little closer to him, breathing in the scent of his CK Eternity Summer cologne and allowing herself to relax for the first time all night. Dempsey and Derrington could eat their hearts out. Not that they were paying any attention. But still. “You know middle-school boys. Sooo immature.” She exchanged knowing glances with the rest of the PC.

  Bean poked out her tongue in agreement, lapping up the scented Jacuzzi water. Then she scooted across the hot tub toward Landon and Massie. Bark nipped her tiny purple bikini bottoms between his teeth, dragging behind.

  “No worries,” Landon assured her.

  Pulling Bean toward her, Massie glanced up at Claire and Cam. Skin flushed and arms crossed tightly over her chest, Claire was obviously furious. But from her spot on Cloud Nine, Massie was finding it hard to care.

  CURRENT STATE OF THE UNION

  IN OUT

  ADD BOCD

  Hot-tubbing with Niners Hobnobbing with Eighters

  Upgrading Same-grading

  THE BLOCK ESTATE

  GUESTHOUSE

  Friday, November 7th

  8:02 P.M.

  “And then she goes, ‘Kuh-laire? Is this the OCD Spring Fling?’” Claire huffed, pacing back and forth between the rumpled chocolate-colored duvet on her bed and the window that looked over the Blocks’ main house. “‘’Cause we don’t need chaperones.’”