by Alyson Noel
What a waste, she thought. Five single guys less than five feet away and things had gotten so bad for her that she didn’t feel like flirting with any of them. But even worse was the fact that her phone hadn’t rung all day. Not that she thought he would call. But still, it would have been nice.
But wait. Hadn’t Jade told her on the beach that her bag was vibrating? She’d assumed at the time that it was that loser guy her mom was trying to hook her up with. But what if it wasn’t? What if he really did try to call?
Anxiously, she reached into her bag, grabbing her cell and flipping it open, only to find a little envelope on the screen.
So she had gotten a message!
Excitedly, she pressed the voice-mail button, holding her breath and closing her eyes, anticipating the sound of his voice.
“Hi. My name’s Diego. Apparently our parents think it’s a good idea for us to meet. So if you want, you can give me a call back at …”
She erased it before he could finish. Of course, she thought, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. Well, there was no way she’d be calling him back. And when her mother asked, well, she’d just tell her that he never called. Because the one thing she knew for sure was that there was absolutely no way she was going out with him. No way in hell, because only the most terminal dweeb would need his mother to set him up on a date!
“Hey, Lola, you awake?” Jade asked, laughing and tapping her friend on the shoulder.
“Yeah, what’s up?” she said, brushing her hair away from her face, hoping Jade was finally ready to bail.
“We’re gonna go over to Tom’s. Are you in?”
“Who’s Tom?” Lola asked, squinting at the guys, unable to remember any of their names, which was so unlike her.
“Curly blond hair in the blue T-shirt, standing next to Mike who you also probably don’t remember. Anyway, his apartment is just up the street. We’re just gonna hang out, listen to some music …”
But before Jade could list all the activities that could be had at Tom’s, Lola was already shaking her head. She knew they were all just gonna go back and smoke some pot, and Lola just wasn’t into all that. What she really wanted was to be by herself for a while and just try to sort out all the conflicting emotions in her head. She needed a little downtime, she needed to chill, but she didn’t need to do it at Tom’s. “I don’t think so,” she said. “I think I’m gonna head home. Do you mind?” she asked, assuming Jade would go with her and feeling bad about wrecking her good time, but really, Jade didn’t need to be hanging out with a bunch of older guys, either. Oh great, now I’m even starting to think like Ellie, she thought.
“No worries. Just take these, and leave it in the driveway,” Jade said, handing her the car keys.
And before Lola could even respond, Jade was already walking down the street with Ben and his four stoner friends.
chapter twenty-seven
“See, the main difference between diving and surfing is the control issue. Like diving is all about perfect form, being in complete control of your body, and getting the moves just exactly right. But in surfing, yeah, okay, you have to be skilled enough to control your board as well as your body, but there’s not just one specific way of doing it. Everyone brings their own unique experience to it. No one can tell you how to surf a wave. It’s, like, as individual as your fingerprint,” Chris said.
“That’s the only difference?” Anne laughed, leaning into him. “’Cause I can think of like a million more.”
“I said it’s the main difference, not the only difference.” He smiled.
They were sitting on her front lawn. Chris had his hands wrapped around his knees and Anne had her long, tanned legs splayed out in front of her, and they were both enjoying each other’s company so much, it was pretty obvious neither of them wanted it to end.
They’d spent the entire day together, but there were still so many things to talk about. And Anne realized she hadn’t been this happy since she’d left Connecticut. Then, when she looked up and saw Chris smiling at her, she was pretty sure she hadn’t been this happy then, either.
“Maybe we should get a pizza and rent a movie,” he said, stretching out his legs and lying back on the grass.
“After two tacos, two Cokes, nachos, Spanish rice, and refried beans?” she said, wrapping her arms around her full belly. “I don’t think so. I’ll burst if I eat anything else.” She laughed.
“You’re right,” he said, sitting up abruptly and looking embarrassed. “I should bail. You’re probably getting pretty sick of me by now.” He looked embarrassed.
“I said I was full.” She smiled. “I didn’t say I was bored.”
And then, mustering every last ounce of courage (since she’d never been one to make the first move), she closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed him.
chapter twenty-eight
Ellie had been painting for hours, and now her fingers felt stiff, her back ached from standing for so long, and the light was beginning to fade so fast she could barely see her canvas. She flexed her fingers, trying to warm them up and get them limber again, then leaned over, opened her paint box, and began loading up her supplies.
She loved going to Treasure Island Park and being surrounded by all the other artists. She didn’t know any of them personally, and most days there were several she’d never seen before, but there were always a few regulars she looked forward to seeing. Like the older woman with the long gray braid who painted with such bold, abstract strokes that Ellie couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be the scenery in front of her or a more complicated landscape that existed only in her head. And the big, burly guy who looked like a Hell’s Angel but painted in the most fragile, delicate, precise way. And then there were the wannabe bohemians, with their designer tote bags and expensive white linen shirts, who scowled in frustration when the task turned out to be much more difficult than they’d imagined. Ellie had watched more than a few of those types pack it up after ten minutes and head back to their suite at the Montage. For some people, she guessed, it was more the romantic idea of painting than the actual reality of it that was so intriguing.
Ellie had been coming here for years, but nobody knew about it. Nobody even knew she could paint—well, except for her mother, who had encouraged her daughter’s natural artistic abilities ever since she was a small child, often walking her through the many downtown Laguna Beach galleries while Dean was at school.
One of Ellie’s most cherished memories was of the time she and her mother visited the Getty Museum in Los Angeles, just weeks before her death. They’d spent the entire day there, exploring the grounds, enjoying a long lunch, and staring in wonder at some of the finest works of art. Ellie’s mom had been thin and bald and easily exhausted from the months of chemo she’d endured, but with a colorful silk scarf tied around her head and her vintage jeans belted tightly around her waist, she’d grabbed Ellie’s hand and forged ahead, determined to ignore the curious stares of others and just enjoy her last days.
But Ellie’s father knew nothing of her painting. He had so little appreciation for art that Ellie was sure he could never understand how important it was to her. And even though her friends would definitely be supportive, the truth was, it was kind of nice to have something totally private that belonged only to her.
She was pretty good, too. Or at least she suspected she might be. Every now and then one of the regulars would pass by and say, “Looks nice.” Or, “You really captured those wildflowers.”
Of course, it was possible that they were just being kind, but there was a small part of her, deep down inside, that was convinced there really was something there.
The funny thing was that her secret place was just a short five-minute drive from Laguna Cove, yet nobody would ever think to look for her here. Which made it all the more perfect.
It was like being able to hide in plain view.
Driving through the Laguna Cove gate, she was waving at the guard just as her cell phone rang. Not recognizing the
number on the display, she contemplated letting it go to voice mail, but Ellie was nothing if not dependable, and reliable, and she just wasn’t capable of not answering a ringing phone.
“Hello?” she said, cautiously.
“Ellie? It’s Duncan.”
“Oh, hey.” She rolled her eyes, wishing she’d never picked up. Oh well, she’d have to tell him sooner or later, so it may as well be now.
“Sorry to keep calling, I guess I was just a little worried about you. You didn’t sound so hot this morning,” he said, laughing nervously.
“I wasn’t,” she admitted, turning onto her street. “But I’m better now.”
“Good. Um, Ellie, I was wondering.” He paused.
Oh God, here it comes, she thought, cringing as though something was about to fly through the windshield and smack her in the face.
“Would you want to go out sometime? I mean, like to dinner or something?” He sounded so nervous, it made her feel awful.
“Duncan, I …” She hesitated. She’d turned down plenty of guys before so what was the big deal now? Maybe it was because you totally made out with him, and led him on, she thought, shaking her head at her own lack of control. “I just think …” She slowed down as she passed by Anne’s house, which was right next to hers.
Oh my God! Is that Anne and Chris? MAKING OUT ON THE FRONT LAWN? She adjusted her rearview mirror, just to make sure.
“You just think what?” Duncan asked.
“Sorry, what?” Ellie said, pulling into her driveway, completely distracted, yet still gawking at the house next door. Apparently things were moving along a lot quicker than even she had imagined possible.
“I just asked you out, and you were about to answer me,” he said. He was beginning to sound annoyed.
“Oh, right. Sorry.” She couldn’t help it. She had to look again. It was dark, but it was definitely them. They’d even lit up the motion sensor lights. Which meant they were both moving around. Oh, God.
“Listen, if you’re not interested, it’s totally cool,” he said, definitely sounding like he didn’t actually think it was so cool.
“Um, Duncan? Actually I’d love to go out with you,” she said, shocked to hear herself actually saying the words, but somehow it just felt right. Then, taking control, as always, she asked, “So what are you doing tonight?”
chapter twenty-nine
Lola sat at the dinner table with her mother and Abuela. So much for time alone, lying in bed, wallowing in heartache, she thought.
“So, did he call you yet?” Abuela asked, eyes shining with anticipation.
Oh, great, now all the generations are in on it. Well, that just wouldn’t do. “Who?” Lola asked innocently, cutting into the grilled sea bass on her plate.
“The boy! What’s his name?” She looked at her daughter-in-law.
“Diego. Diego Martinez,” Lola’s mom said, looking right at Lola.
“So?” Abuela nodded, as though ready to hear the world’s greatest love story.
But Lola just shook her head. “Nope, not a peep,” she told her, reaching for her glass of iced tea. She wasn’t a very good liar, even though she found herself doing it more and more these days.
“I can’t believe this! I’ve never heard of such a thing!” Abuela said, sounding personally affronted that the very desirable Diego had dissed her precious granddaughter. “Who does he think he is?”
Lola looked up to see Abuela glaring at her daughter-in-law, as though it was her fault he hadn’t called, and she knew she had to say something. Their relationship was strained enough as it is. “I had my phone on ‘vibrate’ all day, so maybe I missed it.” She shrugged, hoping this compromise would be good enough to hold them over until she could think of something better.
“You kids and your cell phones,” Abuela said, shaking her head.
Add that to the list of modern conveniences that aren’t to be trusted, Lola thought. Along with microwaves, computers, iPods—although she sure learned to love that flat-screen TV
“I really think it would be good if you two could meet before the cotillion next month. I think he’d make the perfect escort for your debut,” her mother said.
My debut? Like I’m an actress or a novelist? Lola had no interest in cotillions, high society, or just about anything else her mother held dear. Where was her father when she needed him? Oh, that’s right. Working, as always. She shook her head. She’d had enough—enough dinner and enough of this conversation. “Well, it’s really not up to me if he calls or not, now is it?” she said, looking from her mother to her grandmother. Then, getting up, she excused herself from the table and headed down the hall.
When she got to her room she stripped off her clothes, slipped into some red silk pajamas, and crawled between the sheets. It was just seven forty-five on a Saturday night and she was already in bed. That’s what her pathetic life had come to.
She rolled onto her side and stared at her creamy white walls, wondering what he was doing, and if he felt sad, too.
Or if, maybe, he’d barely even thought about her. Maybe he’d already moved on.
chapter thirty
Jade was lying on the couch, with her bare feet propped up on a pile of overstuffed cushions while her head rested on Ben’s lap as he raked his fingers through her long, curly hair. Everything about being with Ben just felt so calm, peaceful, and free, and she thought how lucky she was to have a guy friend like this. One that you could just hang with, and not have to have it get all romantic and complicated. She hated when relationships got complicated.
“My dad’s driving down tomorrow,” Ben said, gazing down at her and rubbing her temples with his thumbs. “He wants to have lunch, so he can explain his side, but I’m not so sure I want to hear it.”
“You should go. At least listen to what he has to say,” Jade said, looking up at him.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I think he’s just gonna give me a bunch of crap about how hard he’s got it. Even though he’s the one who chose to leave.” He looked at her.
Jade just nodded. They’d talked about his parents’ divorce before and it was basically the same old story. Dad has an affair, Mom finds out, Dad vacates, taking most of the money, Mom works two jobs to provide the basics, and the kids feel abandoned by everyone. Why can’t people just be nicer to each other? she thought. What’s with all the greed?
“It’s your call,” she said, unwilling to judge his decisions. “But if you give him a chance and he fails, well then, at least you took the high road, right?”
Ben shrugged. “It’s just, everything is so much more complicated now. My mom’s totally overworked and depressed, and I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like maybe I should bail on school and get a job so I can help her. Or maybe I should just move out. You know, go somewhere and do my own thing, so she won’t have to worry about supporting me anymore.”
Jade sat up abruptly and looked at him. “You can’t quit school! That’s like, a one-way ticket to Loserville! I mean, who’s that gonna help? Certainly not your mother, and definitely not you,” she said, hoping he was just being dramatic and wasn’t actually serious.
Ben gave her a surprised look. “Okay, so tell me how you really feel.”
“I’m serious. And don’t look at me like that. I’m actually very practical.” She smiled.
Ben glanced around the room and then back at Jade. “Hey, you wanna bail?” he asked, standing up abruptly.
“What? Now?” she asked, wondering why he was suddenly acting so anxious and strange. Just five minutes ago everything had been so mellow and perfect.
“Listen, you can hang if you want, but I really need to get some fresh air,” he said, heading straight for the door.
“Hey, wait up! I’ll go with you,” she said, grabbing her purse and hurrying to catch up with him.
chapter thirty-one
“I’m just not sure how much longer I can get away with this,” Lola said, climbing out of Ellie’s car and reachi
ng for her book bag. “I mean, he’s left two messages now and it’s just a matter of time before my mom finds out I’m ignoring his calls.”
“How will she know?” Ellie asked, clicking her car alarm and glancing around nervously for Duncan. Not seeing him anywhere, she relaxed and focused her attention back on her friend.
“We’re talking about my mom. She has ways of finding out everything . I swear, sometimes I wonder if she has a secret life as a spy or something.” Lola laughed, half joking but half serious as well.
“Have you talked to Jade?” Ellie asked. “I tried calling her a few times on Sunday, but I couldn’t find her.”
“Haven’t seen her.” Lola shook her head. “I surfed a little in the afternoon with Chris and Anne; then we all went for smoothies at the Shake Shack.”
Ellie stopped, right in the middle of the student parking lot, and stared at Lola. “You hung out with Chris and Anne?” she asked, feeling her face go all red but unable to stop it.
“Yeah.” Lola looked more than a little confused by Ellie’s reaction.
“Are they like, a couple now? I mean, like boyfriend and girlfriend?” Ellie felt her throat go all tight.
“I’m not sure I want to put a label on it,” Lola said, tugging on Ellie’s arm. “Come on, you’re gonna make us late.”
Ellie reluctantly followed Lola. “I just don’t get what you all see in this Anne chick. I mean, what’s so special about her? She seems pretty ordinary to me, yet you guys act like she’s so great.”
“She’s actually pretty nice. And I really think you should cut her some slack, give her a chance.”
“I don’t trust her.” Ellie looked right at Lola. “And I’m not sure you should, either.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lola asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
