One Hit Wonder

by Denyse Cohen

  She walked through the house. A considerable number of people was still at the party, but in the huge house they seemed sparse, mostly everyone scattered in small groups propping themselves against walls with red eyes, droopy eyelids, and low murmurs.

  She toured the main level of the house, but there was no sign of Kevin. So she followed the long curving stairs to the second floor, trailing her fingers over the minimalistic paintings on the stairway. The house was decorated with sleek furniture and modern art; no family pictures to be seen. The accountants had mentioned when Ryan’s parents moved to Santa Monica, they took their antique furniture and expensive works of art with them. She guessed Ryan must have posed a danger to their precious belongings, and everything was replaced with simple lines and bold colors. Yet, by the looks of it, they’d spent an obscene amount of money Ryan-proofing the place.

  The first door at the top of the stairs led to a large master suite with a king size bed and a sitting area with a full couch, chaise lounge, chair, and TV. Three people sat on the couch, Ryan on the chaise, and two others on the floor.

  Ryan turned his head toward her and slurred after a moment of silence, “Hey, come in gorgeous.”

  She walked toward them slowly, moving toward the center of the sitting area to have a good view of everyone.

  “I was looking for — ” She stopped when she saw a head of dirty blond locks hovering two inches from a coffee table. “Kevin?”

  He lifted his head, but not before he inhaled the white powder laid on the table. “Hey, sexy.”

  She didn’t think he recognized her at first; he must have taken her for one of the girls with whom he shared this new-found interest, but as his head bobbled back and forth with his glazed eyes fixed at her, he seemed to remember.

  “Audrey … I was … .” He couldn’t articulate.

  Her legs weakened as color drained off her face. She didn’t think a broken heart could be so heavy, but hers had fallen on the floor like a ball of lead. Her eyes skimmed the rest of the stoned faces and settled on Ryan’s, staring at her with a grim expression. On impulse, she stepped toward the table, where a small silver tray still held half a dozen lines of cocaine, and slapped her hand down on the edge of it, watching as the people around her flung their hands up to ward off the spinning tray.

  “What the fuck did you do, bitch?” Ryan jumped off his seat.

  The cloud of white powder coated the furniture like dust.

  “Fuck off,” she said, leaning down toward Kevin.

  Ryan grabbed her arm, and with his other hand slapped her face. Audrey shrieked and fell into the people sitting on the couch with a split lower lip.

  “Come on, man.” Kevin got up and pushed Ryan back with a hand on his chest, but Ryan pushed his hand down and threw a punch that made Kevin fly backwards over the chair onto the floor.

  “You bastard!” She got up and punched his face, but it didn’t phase him. Ryan grabbed her wrists and threw her back on the couch, vacated by the people who were already leaving the room.

  “You cunt. You wasted two grand of good stuff,” Ryan said, sitting on her and holding her arms.

  She tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. He must have weighed over two hundred pounds, and she could barely move. His grip on her wrists was so violent it burned when she struggled, as if she’d been handcuffed with fire.

  “You’ll have to pay me back somehow.” His eyes were fixed on her panting chest, and he adjusted himself so that his cock pressed against her hips.

  “Fuck you,” Audrey snarled.

  Kevin had curled himself in a fetal position, absorbed into a narcotic stupor, while Ryan rubbed himself against her so hard the buckle of his belt chafed her skin through her dress. She kicked and struggled, but he didn’t budge. He leaned in and licked her neck.

  “Get off me.” Tears of anger and disgust formed in her eyes.

  The next instant, Ryan flew off her and landed on the floor clear across the room.

  “Are you okay?” John asked, helping her sit up. Before she could answer, he’d walked toward Ryan, who was just getting to his feet, and punched him. Ryan tripped over the corner of the bed and fell again, John kicked him on the stomach, grabbed his head, and slammed it on the floor.

  “John, stop. You’ll kill him.”

  He looked at the bloodied carpet, Ryan was already unconscious. Several people had been drawn by the commotion, including Matt and Tyler.

  Audrey got up and went to Kevin.

  “Call the police,” John ordered Matt.

  “No,” said Audrey.

  John looked at her, confused.

  “It is not going to do us any good. Look at Kevin, he’ll get in trouble.”

  They looked at Kevin’s fluttering eyes.

  “Let’s get out of here,” said Tyler, helping Kevin up. Matt grabbed Kevin’s other arm and they walked him out.

  John hugged Audrey, and his eyes welled up as he gently touched her swollen lip. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

  She placed her hand on top of his and said, very quietly, “take me away from here.”

  • • •

  The shower hit Audrey harder than usual, her body ached and the cut on her lip stung as water ran over it. The skin on her wrists and her belly were grazed red. Her hips were sore. It really sucked to be a woman; a punch to Ryan’s face with all her might didn’t do more than tickle him. I should learn krav maga. Audrey smiled at the thought, then wept bitterly.

  She palmed the condensation off the mirror, staring at herself, and let the towel wrapped around her fall on the floor. Above the sink, the reflection of her naked body stood still like a bronze torso on white marble. For the first time, she saw it as an object. Not someone, but something that could be groped by any asshole as long as his strength surpassed hers. It could be violated. Broken. She lifted her hands and cupped her breasts. Then, she heard the door of the bedroom open and quickly grabbed the towel from her feet and wrapped herself again.

  John must have seen something awful in her face, because after gingerly entering the room, he was by her side in a split second. She pushed him away with her fists clenched on his chest, but he didn’t let go. He held her tight and sobs overtook her. They sat on the floor, their backs against the sink, still for a long while.

  “You should try to get some sleep.” He said softly into her hair after she calmed down.

  “No, I want to see Kevin.”

  “He’s out. Passed out on the couch.”

  Audrey knew sleeping was impossible; adrenaline still ran in her veins like a lizard on hot asphalt. She put on a nightgown and a robe and they moved to the living room. She looked at Kevin sprawled on the couch and felt sad for her friend.

  The sun was rising and the first morning light started to sweep into the apartment. Audrey poured herself a cup of coffee and sat with Matt and Tyler at the table.

  “Are you okay?” Matt asked gently.

  To comfort everyone, she mustered a faint smile. “Yes, of course. I am worried about Kevin. I never would have imagined he was so out of control.”

  “A lot makes sense now,” Tyler said, without lifting his eyes from his mug.

  When Kevin finally sat up on the couch, after waking up as slowly as someone regaining consciousness after a coma, he looked at his friends surrounding him. John was leaning against the fireplace’s mantel, Matt and Audrey sat on the chairs across from the couch and Tyler stood between the living room and dining room. He glanced at them but didn’t say a word.

  “What is going on, man?” Tyler finally broke the stomach-churning silence in the room.

  “What are you talking about?” Kevin said, leaning back in the couch, apparently, hoping nonchalance would help him.

  “Please, Kevin. I think we deserve more than this,” Audrey said.

  They lapsed into silence again; no one knew how to start this conversation. They were in shock, as if they had just released a jammed seatbelt in a car accident and crawled out seconds
before it exploded.

  “You make it sound like you guys never partied before.” Kevin crossed his hands cockily behind his head.

  Audrey shook her head, disappointed.

  John walked toward him with angry steps, grabbed him by the arm, pulled him off the couch toward her chair, and said, “Look at her, you son of a bitch. Does it look like she had fun at the party?”

  Kevin looked at Audrey’s swollen lip. Her bruised wrists rested on her lap, she tried to conceal the marks of Ryan’s grip by pulling her sleeves down. He blinked hard and he said, “I’m so sorry.”

  She offered him her hand, he took it and nestled his head against her lap. For once, she saw in Kevin’s face traces of the genuine feelings often hidden underneath jokes and the sarcasm.

  “I never meant to hurt you,” he said, softly. “Any of you.”

  They moved to the kitchen and Kevin told them how he’d gotten involved with drugs. John had toasted waffles for everyone, Matt and Tyler were eating at the kitchen counter, and Kevin was drinking his second glass of orange juice.

  “I was going out with Jess,” Kevin said.

  They all looked at each other confused — no one remembered who the hell Jess was.

  “One of the models from the Elle spread, geez.” Kevin rolled his eyes. “Remember, we all met afterwards at O’Maley’s for drinks?” He looked at Matt and Tyler, waiting for confirmation. They shrugged.

  “Has it been this long? That deal was over four months ago,” John said.

  “It didn’t start that night, but the next time we went out it was just me and her. A date, you know? We went back to her apartment and that’s when she offered me some.” Kevin lifted his eyes, everyone in the room seemed half-dazed trying to make sense of this. Matt nodded absently, starting to look like a bobble head doll.

  “We were making out on the bed and things were heating up, so she stops and pulls the drugs from her night stand, lays it out, rolls a dollar bill, and snorts it. And then she handed it to me — so casually. When she saw my hesitation, she said it would make it for the best fuck I’ve ever had.”

  “What an idiot,” Tyler said.

  “I liked her!” Kevin looked at John and Audrey as if searching for sympathy.

  “Anyways, when I still hesitated, she said I was being judgmental. So I did it. And I continued doing it for the, uh, couple of weeks we went out. She introduced me to Ryan, and I started to get it from him. You can guess the rest.”

  “Do you owe him?” John asked.

  “No — I dunno, maybe … two grand.” He looked down.

  “You don’t fucking owe that prick a thing,” Audrey said, standing from her chair and pointing her finger at him.

  Kevin had assured them he wasn’t an addict, and promised he could stop whenever he wanted, starting then.

  “Atlantis wants you off the band.” John said, matter-of-factly.

  Audrey could feel Matt and Tyler stiffen, as if they had looked into Medusa’s eyes. Kevin, however, let out a soft snort as if the mere thought of it was a blasphemy.

  “I can’t disagree with them.” John shook his head and walked toward the coffee pot. “You’ve done nothing but partying and — apparently — get high. They are tired of it and so am I.”

  This time, Kevin seemed upset by what he heard. He looked around the room, then tilted his head down as a schoolboy being scolded by his basketball coach in front of the team.

  “They can’t do that. We have a contract.” He muttered.

  “Yes, we do. Atlantis contracted us to do a job and you’re making it impossible.”

  “Kevin, man. You can’t do this anymore. If you get in deep you can’t get out,” Tyler said.

  “It hasn’t been that bad,” Kevin said.

  “I had to pick you up twice for rehearsal, other times you’ve been late or drunk — ” Matt said.

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Kevin rubbed his pale face. “I’ve messed up. But it’s over. I can do this, I’ll get it straight.”

  “You might need…professional help,” Audrey said.

  “No. I don’t need it. Trust me.”

  Audrey took his words with a great deal of pragmatism, but neither she or the band could force him into rehab if he didn’t want to.

  Chapter 19

  “Oh, John. I’m not going.” It was like Audrey had thrown a bucket of cold water at him that day. He met her for lunch in a deli near the darkroom because he couldn’t wait to share the good news. They were going to perform at Lake Tahoe Fall’s Festival.

  “Not going? What do you mean?” Surprised, John froze with his sandwich midair.

  “I’m sorry, baby. There is no reason for me to go.”

  “I’m the reason.”

  “John … I can’t follow you around like that. It’s ridiculous.”

  “What I think is ridiculous is us having to be apart because it doesn’t seem right to other people.” He took a bite of his sandwich.

  “Well, it is not just that. I mean, you’ll be working. It is a huge deal. You guys have to give it one hundred per cent.”

  “Last time you were around I think I did pretty well.”

  Audrey blushed.

  “I don’t want to leave you alone.” John said, soberly.

  She knew what he meant; she didn’t want to be alone either. The bruises on her body were disappearing, but the image of what had happened remained clear in her head. She’d told John she was fine, but her nightmares told him otherwise. She’d scream in the dark of their bedroom and he’d quickly embrace her and whisper her back to sleep, telling her it was only a bad dream, that he was there and she was okay.

  “I can’t go, anyway. I haven’t finished the work for the show and I’m running behind.” She stayed home for a few days after the incident at Ryan Correll’s party while John helped Matt and Tyler move Kevin to their apartment — the alternative to rehab.

  “I guess you’re right.” John sounded defeated. “It just seems everything we do keep us apart.”

  “It seems like that because we’ve started from the confinement of a Winnebago, anything beyond that compares to … .” Audrey looked around the deli searching in vain for the right analogy. “Infinity.”

  • • •

  When she arrived home that evening, exhausted from the long hours inside the darkroom, John was already there.

  “I have a surprise for you.” John said.

  “Really? What is it?”

  “Look what I found.” He nodded toward their kitchen table, where a fruit basket was filled with several pieces of fruit.

  “Mangos! Where did you get them?” Audrey said.

  “I went to the Farmer’s Market on Fairfax after lunch.”

  “John …” Audrey grabbed a mango and held it close to her face, closing her eyes and inhaling its sweet scent. “Thank you.”

  “Look at the label.”

  She twisted the fruit around until she found the small yellow sticker. “It’s from Brazil.”

  “They could have come from your grandfather’s farm.”

  “Yeah, I guess they could’ve.”

  “We could go visit after the touring for this CD is over.”

  “Can you do that?”

  “If Atlantis signs us for a second album, I suppose we’ll have some time before we start recording. I’d love to meet your family.”

  Audrey chuckled. “Careful with what you wish for. They’re a crazy bunch. I mean…it has been so long. I only know what my mother tells me about them now.”

  John ambled up behind her, hugging her waist. “Maybe it has been too long.”

  “Maybe you’re right. I resented my mother for so long for trying to make me more Brazilian. I already felt like an outsider as it was, I didn’t need her constant reprimands reminding me I wasn’t as American as my peers.”

  “You’re not.”

  Audrey turned to face him.

  “You’re not like any other woman I’ve ever met. You’re strong and don’t ta
ke anything for granted. You don’t feel entitled to things like other people do.”

  “But that has nothing to do with being American, It was the way I was raised: to believe you’re the only one who can change your own life. It’s up to you…well, and God, but that’s a different story.”

  “And who raised you to be like that, your Brazilian mother?” He smiled.

  She walked to the counter and sat the mango beside the sink. “I’ll make us some salad.”

  John followed her. “Audrey, there’s nothing wrong with being angry at our parents sometimes, but they’re just people, like us; they make mistakes.”

  “I’m not angry at her, anymore. I think I’m…embarrassed. She had it hard when she came to the U.S., barely speaking English and having no money. Living in the very conservative, very white North Shore.”

  “She must have suffered all kinds of prejudice.”

  “Oh, yeah. For a while people said that the old guy she was taking care of was her lover. The guy was eighty! Everyone alienated her. And still, she was proud of her heritage and tried to impart it to me, but I behaved like a spoiled brat.” Audrey sighed. “I was ashamed of her.”

  “Your mother loves you very much and she’s proud of you.” He held her face in his hands.

  “Yeah?” Audrey muttered without conviction.

  “Of course.” He kissed her. “You — liking it or not — are very Brazilian, everyone can see it. And I love it.”

  Chapter 20

  This is unusual, Audrey thought, when Janice told her Edward wanted to see her right away. Most days he was so busy, they barely talked. She knocked on the door of his office, a frosted glass cubicle in a far corner of the studio.

  “Audrey, come in. How are you?”

  “Doing well. You?”

  “Running like a headless chicken. Vogue called this morning and they need an emergency photo shoot to run with an article on the selling of Prêt-à-porter — the eBay of fashion couture. Charlie and Ethan are taking over other clients. Can you come to New York with me tonight? We should be back in two days.”

  “Of course.”

  Edward told her what to get from the studio and sent her home to pack. She needed to be at LAX at six, which meant leaving much earlier to avoid rush-hour traffic on the 405.