Take Care of Me

by Melita Washington

  ***

  “Could you get us some punch Joseph?” Alyson asked.

  “Sure, I’ll be right back.” Joseph walked away.

  “So what do you think of Joseph, Alyson?” Stacey asked trying to gauge her reaction. Joseph was an usher at the church and he had a very friendly personality. She hoped it would be a good match, but what did she know about love?

  Stacey had pushed Stefan away and was beginning to regret it, but was trying to continue to do what she thought was best for him. But oh how she missed him. She was trying to focus on what Alyson was saying, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Stefan. Was she dreaming? No that was definitely him. His presence seemed to have filled the entire room.

  He was leaning against a column in the rec room casually watching her. Alyson finally picked up on the fact that Stacey wasn’t paying attention to her and turned to see what had captured her attention.

  She frowned, “I thought you said Stefan wasn’t coming?”

  Stacey frowned in return. “I didn’t even tell him about this function Alyson.”  She was going to kill Nick, she thought to herself.  Joseph returned with two glasses of punch. Stacey couldn’t decide whether or not to confront Stefan or to ignore him. The decision was taken from her when he walked up to their group.

  “Hello.” Stefan said casually like he had all the right in the world to be there. Stacey could feel her breathing hitch, but she wasn’t sure if it was out of anger or because she could feel a sexual kick in her gut. She just stared up at him, not really able to say anything.

  Alyson said, “What a surprise Stefan, Stacey led me to believe you were not going to be joining us this evening.”

  Joseph interjected, “Oh, so this is your Stefan? Nice to meet you. Stacey has told us so much about you. And congratulations on your engagement.”

  Stefan turned to Stacey with a raised eyebrow and responded, “It’s nice to meet you too.”

  “Joseph.” Stacey answered to Stefan’s unspoken question. He noticed that Stacey fidgeted with her empty ring finger; he smiled to himself. Stefan in turn shook Joseph’s hand.

  There was an awkward pause where none of them knew what to say. It truly felt like only Stefan and Stacey were in the room and it was taking everything in her not to throw herself into his arms.

  Joseph broke the silence and said to Alyson, “Would you like to take a tour of the grounds? We have a lovely rose garden out back.” Alyson was pleased by this suggestion, but Stacey panicked. What if Alyson wasn’t attracted to him and she thought Stacey was ditching her to be with Stefan.

  But Alyson’s enthusiastic response cut that fear short. “I’d love to Joseph. We’ll see you later Stefan and Stacey.” She departed looking over her shoulder mouthing thanks to Stacey and taking Joseph’s arm as they walked towards the rear exit.

  She was so relieved that Alyson was happy with the way things turned out that it took Stacey a moment to realize she really was going to have to have a confrontation with Stefan. She turned her head back towards him quickly to get this over with. But maybe she turned too quickly because the room suddenly tilted. And she had to reach out to Stefan to keep from falling.

  The impartial mask that Stefan had been wearing disappeared immediately in his concern for her. Stacey tried not to lean into his strength, but she had none of her own at the moment. He was practically carrying her into the foyer. Stacey wanted to tell him to stop and to leave her alone, but it’s not what she really wanted.

  Stefan was swearing under his breath, “Stubborn woman.”

  That snapped her out of it. “I am fine Stefan. You can let me go.”

  “I don’t want to let you go. Now or ever. When are you going to believe that?” he stared down at her with a mix of frustration and love. It was almost comical.

  She really wasn’t feeling well so she couldn’t laugh like she wanted to. The medicine to keep her from feeling nausea was causing other side effects. “Can you take me home?” Stacey whispered afraid that one wrong move would end her either face first on the floor or in a toilet bowl for the rest of the night.

  “Of course.” Stefan replied. He supported her weight as they walked to his car. In his car, she closed her eyes, but she didn’t fall asleep. She just soaked up the feeling of safety that she felt when she was with him.

  When Stacey opened her eyes they were at his place. “What are we doing here?”

  “Well I figured if we were at my place you couldn’t kick me out.” Stefan got out of the car and opened the door for Stacey. She felt as though she should protest, but she really did want to be with him.  So she said nothing as he guided her towards his home.

  Stacey had been to Stefan’s several times and she was always struck by how masculine his place was. But not because his home had sports paraphernalia on every wall; but it was just exquisitely, tastefully, Stefan. Every room was done in rich mahogany colors and accents. Every room was infused with sex appeal. Hard to say a room is sexy, but it was true.

  He escorted her to his bedroom and she stopped in the doorway. She didn’t know why his bedroom was drawing a line, but it definitely was.

  “Sweetie, I just want you to feel comfortable. You’re safe with me.” Stefan said softly.

  Stacey knew she was safe with him, which is why she didn’t want to go into his bedroom. Her resolve to stay away from him was quickly vanishing. “But I’m right.” Stacey said.

  “Right about what?” Stefan asked confused.

  “That I shouldn’t drag you into this. I’m sick. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.” She said emphatically.

  Stefan was thoughtful for a moment and said, “If I were sick, would you walk away from me?”

  “No of course not, but I’m a nurse. I deal with sickness every day.  This is different.” Stacey was frustrated that he couldn’t see her point of view.

  “But that doesn’t matter Stacey. I wouldn’t walk away from you just because you’re sick. And if you think that I could then you need to re-think the type of person you’ll allow yourself to fall in love with.” Stefan’s frustration was showing now.

  “I’m trying to save you this misery!” Stacey exclaimed.

  “The misery is being apart from you. It doesn’t matter to me that you’re sick. You’re still the woman I love. I’ve been trying to let you work through this how you see fit, but I can’t be shut out of your life anymore. Did you ever stop to think how it feels for me to have to watch you turn to Nick during this time in your life? I am the one you’re supposed to be in love with.” Stefan said the last words softly his voice choking on emotion.

  Stacey hadn’t thought of that. Men and their pride.  She was in the fight of her life and he was jealous of Nick! “This is exactly what I didn’t want. Stefan I don’t have the energy to fight this illness and to coddle you through it too. I miss you, yes. I love you, yes. But you have no idea what I’m going through.”

  “Of course I don’t because you have shut me out.” Stefan could feel that she wasn’t going to let him back in. He thought too late that he should have kept his insecurities about Nick to himself. But it was a sore spot to be on the outside looking in. He was losing the battle so it was time to take another tack.

  Stefan grabbed her hands. “I love you. I am here in this fight with you. Let me in. I’m begging you.” He got down on his knees in front of her, tears glittering his eyes. No one, not even Nick had been this vulnerable with her.  “I love you with everything I am Stacey. I love you because of who you are and how you care. But you’re so busy being there for everyone else, who is there for you? I don’t want anything from you other than for you to let me love you. Let me take care of you.”

  Stefan looked up at her and she couldn’t say no. She sank down on her knees in front of him. “I’m so sorry. I am so scared. I’m scared of you seeing me so sick. I’m scared that it will be too much for you to deal with and that you’ll leave, so I was doing it to you before you could do it to me. I am so in love with you b
ut that comes with so many insecurities. It’s so hard for me to trust anyone, I don’t know why. But I just feel scared all the time. I don’t know how to fight this illness and fight for us too. But I’m going to trust you. I’m going to trust us.”

  They were both crying in each other’s arms. It was a huge leap of faith, but one she wasn’t sorry to take. This was the most wonderful man in the world and he was in love with her. For the millionth time she asked herself how she got so lucky?