by J. H. Croix
He glanced over at Noah. “Not sure you picked up on it, but Clint Reynolds is my boss and the regional director of Fish & Wildlife in our area. The fact that Theo even knew his name makes my stomach turn. You got Jake’s number? It never occurred to me to ask him to take a look at Clint.”
Noah quickly recited Jake’s number. After calling Jake and putting him onto Clint, Hayden leaned back with a sigh. He was too mentally worn out to think much more about the smuggling network.
***
Shana sat at Phoebe’s kitchen table and poured cream in her coffee. Phoebe wiped her hands on a dishtowel before stepping to the table and slipping into the chair across from her. Phoebe’s house, now shared with Jake, was like a second home for Shana. She’d stayed here for a few weeks after Callen died and had spent more evenings with her friends here than she could count.
Phoebe sifted her hands through her dark curls and tied them into a knot atop her head. Her dark eyes assessed Shana. “What’s up with you and Hayden?”
Shana tried to hedge, panic edging her thoughts. If her feelings were so obvious, how could she protect her heart? “What do you mean?”
Phoebe rolled her eyes. “So that’s how you’re going to play this? Whatever. I think you finally decided to talk about what your marriage to Callen was actually like because maybe meeting a man who really is interested in you made you think it wasn’t worth pretending anymore. I saw the way Hayden looked at you the other night. I’m surprised he didn’t go up in flames.”
Phoebe had never been the friend to shy away from anything, but sometimes she was so spot on, it made Shana squirm. Shana opened her mouth to speak, but Phoebe held a hand up.
“The look on your face confirms what I was thinking. I don’t know exactly what’s between you and Hayden, but there’s a little more there than a fun roll between the sheets. You need to know maybe none of us knew you and Callen were married in name only by the end, but I wasn’t blind. I noticed things weren’t exactly great. I just figured you were trying to make it work anyway. If you’re worried about what people think, don’t. You deserve something good after everything you’ve been through.”
Tears pricked Shana’s eyes, and her throat felt tight. She’d cried so much this past year, it annoyed her. She took a breath, willing the tears away, and met Phoebe’s eyes. “Doesn’t everyone deserve something good?”
Phoebe angled her head to the side and smiled ruefully. “Well, sure. But that wasn’t my point. Even if Callen hadn’t died and hadn’t betrayed you and the rest of Catamount shifters, you’d have every right to move on, to find someone who appreciates you. It helps a bit that Hayden’s hot as hell and clearly thinks you are too.” She winked at that.
Shana blushed and absently twisted a napkin in her hands. “I’m not going to argue that point. I just…ugh. I don’t know what’s supposed to happen right now. All I wanted was…” Her words trailed off.
She didn’t know how to explain that she’d been desperate to feel again after the numbness she’d cocooned herself inside to get through the last few years of her marriage. She held onto that numbness like a lifeline after Callen died. When Hayden showed up, he was like a candle flickering in the cold, dark night. She’d only wanted to follow the flame, to let it melt the ice around her heart. But being with him was so much more than she’d expected. She recalled his question the other night—hinting at how to handle the reality that there was clearly more between them than a fling with no expectations. She’d underestimated the fire between them. It burned so hot and fast, she was afraid she’d get singed in its heat. After the utter failure her marriage had been, it was hard to believe anything good could last. It wasn’t to say she had experienced anything with Callen remotely like what she felt with Hayden, but she’d never have known their marriage could go cold, bitter and distant in a few short years. Which made it all the harder to think beyond temporary with Hayden. To feel what she felt with him and face the possibility of it fading and withering was terrifying.
Shana met Phoebe’s eyes again. “I don’t know what to do. For God’s sake, don’t mention it to Jake because he’ll tell Dane, but Hayden and I…well…” Flushing madly, she shrugged.
Phoebe grinned. “Got it. No need to explain. Great news as far as I’m concerned. Why do you look so worried?”
“Because it seemed perfect. Hayden doesn’t even live here. As you pointed out, he’s pretty easy on the eyes and definitely notices me more than Callen ever did, even before we were sleeping in separate bedrooms. But…it’s, um, a little more than I expected and I’m not sure what to do.”
Phoebe’s eyes sobered. She reached over and squeezed Shana’s hand quickly. “What does Hayden have to say? If anything.”
Shana chewed her lip and took a breath. “Before anything happened, I told him I wouldn’t have any expectations. I didn’t want to have any. Later, he asked what we would do if there was more to it than that.”
Phoebe nodded slowly. “Well, it’s not like I know Hayden all that well, but his question leads me to think he might be thinking it’s more than he expected too.”
Hope twirled in a small circle in her heart. Shana tried to tamp it down. Her breath came out in a sigh. “Right. I’m worried I can’t think clearly because I’m so desperate for something good. Just a tiny dollop of it and I’m getting too excited. Hayden doesn’t even live here. It’s not like I can…”
Phoebe waved her hand. “Oh stop it! I want to be supportive, I really do, but I’m not gonna let you start going in crazy circles in your mind. Trust me, I’m an expert at that and it’s a complete waste of time. It’s always easier to tell other people to do the things I couldn’t, but I’m telling you now—stop. Don’t tie yourself up in knots over things that haven’t even happened.”
Shana giggled, recalling how twisted up Phoebe had been over Jake for years. Her heart loosened the tiniest bit as she recalled some of her own advice to Phoebe. Matters of the heart were so much easier to interpret when they didn’t involve one’s own heart. “Fair enough. So what should I do now?”
Phoebe burst out laughing. “Try to relax and focus on now. I’m here. I’m always here for you, so if you need to obsess or talk anytime, you know exactly where I am.”
Chapter 7
Late that afternoon, Shana stood at the edge of the woods. The sun was low in the sky, its rays angling through the trees, dappling the ground with its light. The early spring air held the earthy scents of new growth. She needed to run free and temporarily forget the vagaries of her human mind and emotions. On the heels of a deep breath, she shifted. Energy coursed through her, whipping from head to toe. Her fur rippled across her skin. She held still for a moment, her mountain lion’s eyes adjusting to the forest. She stretched into her form, sighing at the feeling of strength and power. Another breath and she dashed into the woods. The far end of her family’s property extended into the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. She started off at a run, but once she got deeper into the mountains, she slowed to a jog.
The forest was alive with sound. Birds returning from their southerly migrations flitted busily among the trees. A pair of chipmunks chattered loudly at her when she passed by. She kept her pace, jogging slowly through the woods, winding further up into the mountains until she reached one of her favorite places, a small hillside that looked out over a valley, a stream meandering lazily through the valley. She rested atop a boulder. The sun had begun to dip lower in the sky. Its golden rays were shot through with orange and red.
Suddenly, she lifted her head, scenting another mountain lion nearby. Several moments later, the lion in question came into view just below her in the valley. She stared for long moment until the lion looked up. Instantly, she knew it was Hayden. He was bigger and bulkier than most of the male mountain lion shifters in the East, likely due to the reality that shifters out West had much more freedom to roam in the wild out there. His eyes met hers across the distance. He turned to face her, his tail flicking. From
a complete standstill, he bounded forward, his motion fluid and seamless. In seconds, he climbed the small rise where she waited and came to a stop beside the boulder.
Up close, he was magnificent in cat form—pure strength, power and vitality. Her cat nearly purred at the sight of him. Deep inside, the pull to him was so strong, so intense, she quivered. The connection between them stitched tighter as he stood there, his caramel eyes locked to hers. She stood and stretched on the boulder and leapt down to his side. The air was alive around them. In the quiet, she turned and began weaving her way back down the mountainside. When they crossed into a field, she broke into a run, pounding across the distance. Hayden stayed on pace with her. She gloried in the feel of the air through her fur, the freedom from her human confusion. Here and now, she knew only one thing—she wanted Hayden and no one else.
***
Hayden raced alongside Shana, pulsing with energy and primal desire. He hadn’t known he’d find her out here. He’d returned to the guesthouse this afternoon to find it empty. He’d been unsettled and out of sorts ever since the interview with Theo at the jail. Trying to wrap his brain around the fact that the truth of the power behind the smuggling network might have been sitting under his nose every day in the form of his boss made him sick. He sought the escape and freedom his lion offered and had followed a worn footpath to the edge of the forest behind the guesthouse. Once out of view, he shifted and took off. It didn’t take him long to catch the scent of another lion ahead of him. He immediately knew it was Shana, so he followed her trail until he found her.
He glanced sideways. She ran at his side. She was breathtaking in her cat form, lithe and sensual. When they reached the edge of the trees, she shifted back into human form. He followed. The light was fading, the air chilly. He turned to see her already gathering the clothes she must have left behind. He followed suit, though it almost caused him physical pain. As he glanced around while they walked back to the guesthouse, he realized they were in full view of Dane and Chloe’s home. He wryly considered it probably wouldn’t be the wisest plan to take Shana under the circumstances.
She was quiet as they walked. Her hair fell in disarray around her shoulders, her breath misted in the air. When they stepped into the guesthouse, she turned to him. Her smoky eyes held his steadily. He considered what to say and decided against words. He closed the distance between them, slid a hand into her tangled hair and brought his lips to hers. She went taut for a split second before her body went pliant against his.
Hayden let loose the fierce desire inside, taking her mouth roughly. His hand laced into her hair and tugged, exposing her neck. Nipping at her earlobe, scraping his teeth down her neck, he could barely maintain his control. He stroked down her back, cupping her bottom and pulling her against his arousal—hot, hard and aching. The sound of her breathing drove him on. He tore at her clothes, as she did his. When they were bare, he pressed her against the door and plastered himself against her. Her soft curves gave against the hard planes of his body. He pulled back and just looked at her.
Her honeyed locks fell in a tangled mess around her face and shoulders. Her silvery eyes were dark with desire, her lips swollen from his kisses. Her full breasts rose and fell rapidly with her breath. He cupped her breasts in both hands. Her mouth was slightly parted, a whimper escaped when he thumbed her nipples. He leaned forward and drew one and then the other into his mouth. As she arched into his touch, he bit down sharply. The ragged cry that fell from her lips notched the lust pounding through him even higher. He leaned down, snatching a condom out of his jeans and rolling it on swiftly.
Hooking a hand under her thigh, he lifted it high and stepped into the cradle of her hips. Her breath came in pants, his heart battered against his ribs. He stroked into her folds, which were soaked. He groaned at the feel of her slick desire around his fingers when he delved inside.
“Hayden…I need…”
He couldn’t get inside of her fast enough as her words rolled over him. He slipped his fingers out and nudged his cock into her entrance.
“Look at me.”
His words were low and taut, his voice barely above a whisper. Her smoky eyes flew open, and he surged inside. Her hot, slick channel throbbed around him. He lifted her knee higher and thrust in to the hilt. Her eyelids fluttered, but she held his gaze as he began to stroke in and out of her. The feel of her around him wiped everything but sensation out of his mind. All he wanted was to drive her higher and higher, closer and closer to her release. The creamy clench of her channel pulsed around him as he pounded into her.
Only when her breath broke and she threw her head back with a cry, her body shuddering against his, did he let go. His orgasm crashed through him, the release of pressure so intense, only his grip on her held him up.
***
Shana was sandwiched between the cold door against her back and Hayden’s hot body. Pleasure pinged through her still, pulses of her orgasm shaking her. Hayden’s head fell into her shoulder. His strong arms held her up. She breathed him in. She didn’t want reality to intrude. She just wanted to be here, now, with him. After several long moments, he lifted his head, his warm caramel eyes meeting hers.
Twilight had fallen, and the light was faint. She could feel his heart beating against her skin. They were twined together. His eyes coasted over her face. He lifted a hand and brushed her hair away from her face, tucking a loose lock behind her ear. The small touch sent a soft shiver through her.
He cleared his throat. “Hey there,” he said softly.
He said the perfect thing. Anything else and her mind would have twisted itself in knots over how to reply.
“Hey,” she replied with a chuckle.
He slowly stepped back, easing her leg down as he did. She leaned against the door, thinking perhaps she should be embarrassed to have gone wild over him like that, but she didn’t have it in her to care. He picked up her clothes and handed them to her before walking to the bathroom. She followed him and turned the shower on.
Without a word, she waved for him to join her. She wasn’t ready to talk, but she wanted to be close to him. The steaming water soothed her. Hayden was quiet though his hands stayed on her as he soaped her and ran his hands through her hair when she returned the favor.
A while later, he lounged on a stool by the kitchen counter while she threw together an impromptu dinner of fettuccini with a light cream sauce and tomatoes. He’d just finished filling her in on his and Noah’s interview with Theo.
“Wait, let me get this straight. Theo thinks your boss is running the smuggling network in Bozeman?” she asked, unable to hide the incredulity from her question.
He nodded. “Yup. I’m still trying to get that to sink in. I’ve known Clint for years. I can’t say we’re personally close, but I never suspected him. Never.”
“How reliable do you guys think Theo is?”
He shrugged. “Thing is, there’s no good reason for him to even have Clint’s name. The fact that he does blows my mind.”
“What now?”
“Jake’s already doing his thing to look into Clint’s online activities. Before we act on anything, I’ve still got a few other guys to interview. I’ve got a call into one of the detectives in Bozeman. They were cool having me come out here for this, but if we get anything actionable, they’ll want to send their own guy.”
Anxiety knotted in her chest. She’d been so relieved when Wallace had been arrested here, but she’d known it wasn’t the end in the bigger scheme of things. When they’d gone out to Montana last winter, she realized the smuggling network extended far beyond Catamount. Hearing that Hayden’s boss might be involved shouldn’t have surprised her after everything, but it did.
She served the fettuccini on plates and slid one across the counter to him, tugging a stool to the opposite side to join him. Conversation moved onto lighter matters with Hayden asking casual questions about Catamount.
Hours later, Shana lay in bed beside H
ayden and listened to the sound of his breathing. His body was a furnace, radiating heat. He slept on his side, his arm draped across her abdomen, his hand curled under a breast. She couldn’t help it, but she savored the warmth and comfort of falling asleep with him. Her mind started riffling through worries. Should she be letting this happen with Hayden, what did it mean, what would she do if her heart wanted more than his…or if her heart wanted more than she was prepared to give?
If she stopped thinking and let her cat side through, she already knew how much she wanted from Hayden. But her human mind, so pushy sometimes, interjected, reminding her that her feelings for Hayden made her vulnerable—a dangerous place to go. Her mind kept flipping back and forth until Hayden shifted his weight, his hand sliding in a soft caress across the curve of her belly before he tugged her closer to him. She relaxed into his embrace, sleep finally stealing over her.
Chapter 8
Shana gently pushed through the door into a patient’s room. She had an early shift this morning. She’d expected to leave in the dark while Hayden was still sound asleep. He startled her by slipping out of bed while she was in the shower and starting coffee for her. She was a nurse at the hospital. Her work had gotten her through the last few years of her wasted marriage. Without that and her friends, she didn’t know what she would have done over the last year. She loved her work because she liked helping and she loved interacting with patients. She worked on one of the general floors in the hospital, along with Phoebe.
The curtain was pulled around the patient’s bed even though no one else was in other bed in the room. Shana walked quietly to the curtain and slowly slid it back. Gail Anderson was sound asleep. Gail was an old family friend and the police chief’s wife. She’d been admitted to the hospital late last night after Hank brought her in reporting she’d fallen trying to get in the bathtub. Shana pulled Gail’s chart and flipped through it. The x-rays done last night ruled out any broken bones, but her ankle was badly sprained. Glancing at her again, Shana carefully hung her chart up and turned to leave when she heard Gail say her name.
