by J. H. Croix
She turned back to find Gail trying to push herself up in bed. Shana stepped quickly to the side of the bed, adjusting the setting, so the bed slowly elevated.
“Hey Gail, no need to rush. The bed’ll do all the work for you.”
Gail’s mouth tightened in a thin line. “I can sit up myself, you know.”
Gail’s hair, black with streaks of silver, was tied in a long braid. Her blue eyes were bright and snapping. Shana would have imagined Gail wouldn’t have much patience with needing to rest, so she opted to avoid arguing the point.
“I’m sure you can, but why not take advantage of this snazzy bed? We just got these fancy new ones on this wing last month. Here’s the remote.” She proceeded to show Gail how to operate the remote control for her bed.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Shana asked once Gail had adjusted the bed to her liking.
Gail shrugged. “I’m fine. I can’t believe Hank brought me here last night and that your brother admitted me for the night.” Her eyes were accusing as she looked at Shana.
Dane was a doctor who had his own family practice, but he also covered emergency room duty at the hospital. Shana decided to stick with her plan not to argue any points with Gail. Gail had been born and raised in Catamount. She was a shifter and relentlessly practical and independent.
Shana demurred. “I’m sure Dane just wanted to make sure you stayed off your ankle long enough. Your chart indicates if your vitals are good today, you’ll be discharged this afternoon. Mind if I check those?”
Gail harrumphed, but she easily offered her arm for a blood pressure check and tolerated the rest. Shana did as she did with most patients and let Gail lead the conversation. Which was fine until Gail brought up Callen. Shana had just about had enough of the comments on Callen and what he’d done. Gail’s next comments startled her.
“I’m sure you’re about to tune me out, but I didn’t bring Callen up to blather on about how I can’t believe what he did. I figured you might want to know not everyone thought you should have married him.”
Shana swung to Gail, her eyes wide. “Huh? Gail, I don’t know…”
Gail waved her hand dismissively. “You don’t know why the hell I’m saying anything, right?” At Shana’s nod, Gail continued. “Because he was never worth your time. That’s why. It’s not like I would have guessed Callen would get involved with drug smuggling, but it didn’t surprise me when I found out. That whole Peyton family has always been a little too big for their britches. Knowing you the way I do, I’m guessing you feel terrible about what happened, but don’t let Callen drag you down anymore.”
Shana wasn’t quite sure what to say, so she simply nodded.
Gail nodded firmly. “Right then.” She paused, her eyes softening. “I don’t want to see you weighed down by his actions anymore than you already have been. That’s all.”
Shana took a breath. “I, uh…” She gathered herself. “I appreciate it, Gail. It’s been a long year, to say the least.”
Gail held her eyes for another moment before a sly smile stole over her face. “Don’t suppose I can persuade you to let me out early today?”
Shana chuckled. “You’re staying here until a doctor signs off on your discharge. Any other way and I’ll be hearing about it.”
***
Hayden tucked the phone against his shoulder. “I’m gonna need an extra week out here. Will that be okay?”
He was on the phone with his boss, Clint Reynolds. As much as he wanted to directly ask Clint how the hell his name ended up on the radar out here, Hayden didn’t say a word.
“Do what you gotta do,” Clint replied. “One of the detectives out here wants a call from you when you have any updates. I’ll email his info to you in a few minutes.”
“I’ll keep an eye out for it.” After a few more minutes of discussion about projects he’d left behind, Hayden ended the call. He tossed the phone on the counter in Shana’s kitchen and turned to look outside. Shana had left for work early, so he’d hopped on his laptop and plowed through his own work for most of the morning. He didn’t bother to tell Clint he needed the extra time partly because he wanted as much time as he could have with Shana. Hayden also wanted enough time and distance from Clint to hopefully get some answers about his involvement in the smuggling network before Hayden returned to Montana.
He stood and strode over to the spiral staircase, walking upstairs to the small sitting area. The space up here offered an open view into a field with the forest and rolling mountains beyond it. Catamount lay at the edges of a beautiful wilderness. Hayden was staring out when there was a sharp knock at the door before Dane stepped through. He glanced up when Hayden said his name.
“Hey man. Thought I’d see if you want to ride into town with me to stop by Jake’s office. Knowing him, he was probably up all night chasing down leads on your boss.”
Hayden made his way back downstairs. “Sure. I finished up most of my work for now.” He walked to the counter, closed his laptop and strode to the room across the hall from Shana’s. Conveniently, he’d left his bag in there. He wasn’t up for any awkward moments with Dane just yet.
He grabbed his jacket and followed Dane out to his truck. A short drive later, they walked into Jake’s office. Jake, as Hayden was coming to discover, had a laser focus. His eyes were glued to his computer screen when they entered. He didn’t look up or greet them. Dane snagged one of the chairs by Jake’s desk, gesturing for Hayden to take another. After a few moments of quiet, Jake swiveled away from his computer and ran a hand through his hair.
“Well, if you couldn’t believe your boss was involved, you might want to get ready to accept it. Thing is, I saw his emails before but they’re all aliases, so I didn’t have a source to track them back to. Once you got Clint’s name from Theo, I was able to dig deeper and trace the aliases back to him. He’s in deep. His tracks go back over three years. It’s like a spider web once I get back that far, one connection after another. Your boss has been conveniently using his position as cover. You might have been busy working on this, but he’s been blowing off law enforcement requests for support left and right. He says yes just enough to keep them from getting suspicious. There are enough shifters and people involved out there that bringing him in will be a big help, but there’ll be plenty of work left after that. You were right Montana isn’t the center of all this though. From what I can piece together, the bright idea for using shifters to transport started somewhere in Colorado. Clint’s given them a lot of cover in Montana and elsewhere out West though, so if your local guys can slap him with some charges, that should shake things up a bit.”
Jake leaned back in his chair with a sigh, his gaze bouncing between Hayden and Dane. He appeared to be considering his thoughts. “You said one of the detectives out there would want updates?”
Hayden nodded. “Yeah. I spoke to Clint this morning about my time out here. He mentioned he’d be emailing me with the detective’s info. I’m guessing it’s one of the guys I’ve dealt with before. I hate saying this, but maybe you should do a little online digging on him before we assume he’s not involved. All along, Clint directs the action on stuff like this. Not just with the smuggling network. If our office gets a request for back up from law enforcement on land management issues, hunting or whatever, it goes to him and he funnels it to me or someone else. From the start, he gives me the point person’s name in any situation. For all I know, he’s got help making sure investigations don’t get too far.”
“I’m with you there. You’ve got time and distance. Let’s use it,” Dane said.
Jake nodded. “I’m on it. Just get me the name of the detective.”
Hayden dug his phone out of his pocket and pulled up his email. As promised, Clint had already emailed him the info. Hayden quickly forwarded the email to Jake. “Should show up in your email any second now.” He leaned back in his chair, drumming his fingers on the armrest. “This is a clusterfuck. I can’t belie
ve Clint’s been stringing us along for three years on this. He’s even been there at a few of the arrests for some of the local dealers. Damn.”
Dane’s smile was bitter. “Trust me when I say we get the feeling. When Callen died, we had no idea what he’d been up to. The Peyton’s are old school shifters—their family’s been around for centuries. Those of us really close to what happened can hardly wrap our brains around it. Shifters have been mostly safe here for a long time because we don’t advertise our existence. The people in Catamount who don’t even know we exist only know a rich logging family got drawn into a smuggling scandal. They have no idea there’s another layer that involved betraying half the town here and putting all shifters at risk. I’m guessing shifters in your area are gonna feel as furious as we do.”
Jake had already tuned them out and was clicking away on his computer. Hayden nodded at Dane. “It’s a little different there because Bozeman and the towns around where shifters live aren’t quite like Catamount. You might not know it since you grew up here, but Catamount’s legendary among shifters. It’s where it all started. Shifters know each other out West, but we’re more spread out. We don’t have a history to protect. But it’s not like we don’t face the same dangers you do. Working for Fish & Wildlife gives me a pretty good idea what might happen if the existence of shifters became common knowledge. We’d be managed in some way. The shifters out there who’ve heard about the smuggling network are scared those guys are putting us in a risky situation. It’d be bad enough for people to find out shifters have been living amongst them for centuries, but way worse if they find out because shifters have been heavily involved in the drug trade.”
Dane shook his head sadly. “Right. Once we get a little more info, if you want some of us to come out there to help you, we’d be happy to.”
“Don’t know if it’s needed, but I appreciate the offer. Let’s see what Jake finds out about the detective and go from there.”
Chapter 9
A few days later, Shana sat at Phoebe’s kitchen table idly tracing the grain of the wood in the table’s surface. She’d stopped by after they’d shared a long shift at the hospital. The last few nights had been a blur of Hayden—hot, heavy nights that left her scrambling to regain control inside. When she was with him, her mind went black and primal desire took over. The idea that he could be near and they wouldn’t become tangled up, skin to skin and almost breathing as one was inconceivable. She’d wanted to feel again after her heart and body felt so frozen, but she’d been entirely unprepared for the depth of feeling Hayden elicited. Phoebe was the friend she turned to when she needed advice. She was so lost, she wasn’t even sure what might help.
The teapot whistled and Phoebe turned away from the sink to switch off the burner. In moments, she slid a hot cup of tea across the table to Shana and leaned back in her chair with a sigh.
“Damn, today was relentless. Is it just me or is the hospital busier than it ever was?” Phoebe asked.
Shana savored a swallow of hot tea and met Phoebe’s eyes. “They keep saying Catamount’s getting too big for the hospital. If you ask me, we can hardly keep up.”
Her body ached in more ways than one. Hayden took her to places she’d never fathomed, often leaving her limp and sore the following morning. That combined with a day like today where she’d been on her feet and on the move for twelve hours straight left her exhausted.
“Moving on, what’s up with you? You didn’t say why you wanted to come over tonight, but I’ve known you long enough to know when you’ve got something on your mind.”
Shana smiled ruefully. “So true. Just like I knew you had a thing for Jake for years even though you never said anything, I should’ve known you’d know something was up.” She paused and took a breath. “This thing with Hayden is…kind of intense. I was married, so you’d think I had some experience with this, but it was never like this with Callen.”
Shana ran out of words because she didn’t know how to explain to Phoebe that her simple wish to act on the electricity that buzzed to life between her and Hayden had turned into something so much more. She hadn’t expected to feel so emotionally intimate with him, connected on a level beyond words. By the time she came to terms with the state of her marriage and accepted it likely wouldn’t get better, she’d only wished to find a way to stitch together the tattered remnants of her self-esteem and ask for a divorce. On the other side of that was the seemingly glorious temptation of being on her own again. She’d intended to be single forever. Perhaps a silly dream, but it seemed so freeing.
Then, Callen died and so many other concerns came to the fore that she couldn’t focus on herself. All she could do was put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. She’d thrown herself into helping with the investigation into the smuggling network. That had offered her respite from her mind’s hamster wheel of recriminations and regret. She recalled trying to consider how to process her grief over Callen when everything around him was emotionally muddied—the sad state of their marriage, his affairs, his betrayal of the shifter community, her own complicated feelings about why she’d married him to begin with, why she’d stayed as long as she had, and why she hadn’t chosen to reach out to friends to talk about what was really happening.
Shana took a gulp of tea, savoring the heat, and glanced across the table at Phoebe. Phoebe was good at waiting and stayed quiet while Shana’s mind did gymnastics. The part she shied away from was the hope that kept tapping its feet in her heart—hope that perhaps she might have stumbled into something special with Hayden. And hope was dangerous. She’d thought Hayden offered a simple escape—a fling with an out-of-town shifter. The threads between them were stitching tighter every day and nothing seemed simple. Now, the potential complications yawned before her—he lived halfway across the country and the mere thought of him not being near sent her heart into her throat. Though he hinted at his own feelings, she didn’t know what they were and didn’t have the courage just yet to ask.
When she looked up again, Phoebe was staring out the window. Shana followed her gaze. The kitchen looked out over a small field with a stream winding through it. The snow had mostly melted, lingering only in the shady areas near the trees. A blue jay squawked and flashed across the view, another right behind it. The two birds looped around, their blue wings catching the fading light, before they flew in unison to land on a bird feeder by the back deck. The feeder swung under the force of their landing.
Phoebe’s voice startled her after the several moments of quiet. “It sounds like Hayden might be more than you bargained for.”
Shana swung her gaze away from the window to find Phoebe’s warm, dark brown eyes on her. She nodded. “And here I couldn’t figure out how to explain it,” she commented with a wry smile.
Phoebe chuckled softly before her expression sobered. “I can’t tell you what you should do. Unfortunately, I don’t know Hayden like you knew Jake when I was half out of mind over what to do about him. But, I do know it generally doesn’t help to keep your feelings hidden. Let him know what going on. You might find that helps clear up your own feelings.”
“Easier said than done.” Shana swallowed against the tightness in her throat. She wasn’t ready to dive into interpreting her feelings. The moments when she managed to shut her brain up, she knew what she felt with Hayden was right and true. What she didn’t know was what to do about it and where it would lead.
“Of course it’s easier said than done. I know how hard it is. I spent a few too many years avoiding my feelings for Jake. Fortunately, we found our way through it, but don’t think for second I don’t regret how much time we wasted. Just don’t let a good thing pass you by because you’re afraid to say out loud what you’re experiencing. I’m not saying that will help you decide what to do, but hiding your feelings sure as hell won’t.”
The tightness eased only slightly in her throat when Shana took a deep breath. She held Phoebe’s eyes and nodded. “Right. I keep telling mys
elf somehow I’ll reach a point where I can feel settled inside, but the last few years keep throwing curveballs my way.” She didn’t say aloud that the few times she truly felt peaceful inside were when she was twined close to Hayden after they’d temporarily burned the fire between them down to embers. Then, only then, did she feel peaceful, the warm buzz of connection with him anchoring her inside.
***
Hayden glanced around Roxanne’s Country Store and couldn’t help but smile. This place was hopping every time he’d been in here, which turned out to be almost every day. Today, he was meeting Noah here before they headed back to the county jail for a few more interviews. The local detective from Montana, Glen Bowen, would be joining them there. Jake hadn’t been able to find anything damning about Glen that would link him to the smuggling network, so they’d decided to move ahead and loop him into what they heard about Clint.
In the short time Hayden had been in Catamount, he’d grown to appreciate Noah’s quiet, steady presence. Noah kept a low profile, but Hayden sensed he generally knew far more about what was going on than he shared. He tended to hang back, watch and wait. Hayden figured he was ideal to join him when they first met with Glen. Hayden had worked with Glen in a professional capacity on many occasions, but he thought Noah would sense if there was any reason for suspicion with Glen. The line at the counter opened up in front of him, and Hayden looked up to find Roxanne smiling at him.
