Destined Mate (Catamount Lion Shifters #4)

by J. H. Croix

  Chloe eyed her. “I hope it’s okay I told him what you said about how bad things were with you and Callen at the end. He’s been so worried about you since Callen died and how you were handling what Callen did, I thought it might help him understand better.”

  “You told him that last night?”

  “No, before that. He said he was relieved to know. He’s been so pissed off at Callen that I think he didn’t know how to support you. For some reason, it made him feel better to know things were already shitty with you and Callen before he died. I’m not sure if that makes sense…”

  Shana interjected. “It does to me. I already knew Callen was an asshole before he died. I didn’t realize how much of an asshole he was, but it wasn’t like I had to learn the truth about him after we’d had this amazing marriage. That would have been even harder.”

  “I guess so,” Chloe said softly. “So, are things with Hayden serious? You know Dane’ll ask about that.”

  “It’s none of his damn business,” Shana said, anger and anxiety knotting together inside. It wasn’t any of Dane’s business, but it irked her he’d ask because she was betwixt and between. When her mind wasn’t in the middle, everything made sense with Hayden. She’d fallen asleep last night with him spooned behind her, his hand resting on the curve of her abdomen, his lips soft on her neck, and she wanted nothing more than to stay right there with him…forever. When she’d gone about her day later, her mind did gymnastics over him—wondering how she could feel so right with him, wondering what to do about the hope that simmered in her heart, and wondering how to manage the geographic challenges if they were to try to make something real of the flame that burned so hard and bright between them. Most of all, she wondered how she could ever have what seemed possible with Hayden—a man she wanted with her whole heart and body who wanted her in return and who was good and true and everything the sham of her first marriage had taught her wasn’t possible.

  “I think he knows it’s none of his business, but he doesn’t really care.”

  Chloe’s blunt assessment made Shana chuckle. “No, he wouldn’t care if it’s none of his business or not.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Any idea when he’ll be home? I’m figuring I’d rather just clear the air now.”

  “He should be home any minute. If you’d prefer if I get the hell out of the way, I can make myself busy out in the greenhouse,” Chloe offered.

  Shana shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. Honestly, if you’re here, Dane is less likely to be a complete ass about it.”

  As if they’d conjured Dane simply by speaking of him, the sound of the front door opening and closing could be heard in the distance followed by footsteps making their way to the kitchen. Dane turned the corner into the kitchen, his blue-gray eyes bouncing from Chloe to Shana. He quickly stepped to Chloe’s side and dropped a kiss on her cheek before tossing his jacket on a chair by the table. Chloe made small talk even though the room had gone tense the moment Dane entered.

  Shana finally had enough. “Okay, spit it out,” she demanded, catching Dane’s eyes when he leaned a hip against the counter with his arms crossed.

  “What are you talking about?” The lines around his mouth were tight, and his expression was controlled.

  Shana rolled her eyes. “Let’s just say I received a warning you might have something to say about me and Hayden.”

  Dane glanced to Chloe who put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I’m not the first one who said something to her, and even if I was, it shouldn’t matter.”

  Dane took a deep breath, his eyes swinging back to Shana. “All I care about is making sure you don’t get hurt again. Hayden seems like a nice guy, but…”

  “But what?” Shana threw her hands up in the air.

  Dane stared at her. “You’ve had a lot to deal with this year. Do you even know what you want? What Hayden wants? I’ll tell you this: if all he wants is a fling, that’s not cool with me. You don’t need someone else to use you the way Callen did. All Callen wanted from you was your family connections. I didn’t see it at first, but it became pretty clear over time. Maybe you don’t want to talk about it, but Chloe told me how things were for you two before he died.” He paused and took a deep breath, a flash of pain arcing through his eyes. “You didn’t deserve any of that. Callen was a fuckin’ loser on so many levels. I don’t want to see you hurt again. Hayden seems like a good guy, but I wouldn’t have guessed he’d have let this happen, so…”

  Shana interrupted. “I started it, so don’t go blaming him.” Her face was flushed with anger and embarrassment. The last thing she wanted to do was fess up to her brother that she was the one who persuaded Hayden, not the other way around. But she didn’t want him thinking otherwise.

  Dane’s eyes widened. He waited a beat. “Whether you started it or not doesn’t change the fact that he knows what you’ve been through…”

  Chloe cleared her throat. Dane started to speak again when Chloe put a hand on his arm. He forcefully snapped his mouth closed, his lips in a tight line.

  Shana glared at him. “Whatever you think, lecturing me about it isn’t going to change anything.” She couldn’t say why, but her brother’s worry about her only fed into the cauldron of confusion swirling in her mind about Hayden. Dane wasn’t spelling it out, but she could guess what prompted his concerns. She was too emotionally fragile, it was too soon, she didn’t know what she wanted, what was she doing diving into a fling like this? On and on and on. The thought that swam under the surface all the time…

  You weren’t supposed to fall for him. You weren’t supposed to want him to the core of your body, heart and soul. You can’t pretend that’s not happening. Because it is. Denying it won’t help.

  She batted her inner critic away and tried to quiet the hope that kept springing up inside like flowers poking through snow in the spring. She glanced between Dane and Chloe. Chloe’s eyes were warm with concern. Whatever Dane was feeling, he was doing a damn good job of keeping it to himself. She sensed anger girded by his concern for her. She met his eyes again. “I get you’d be worried, but let me figure it out. Okay?”

  Dane nodded slowly. She gulped the last of her coffee and stood to leave.

  Chapter 11

  Hayden sat at the kitchen table in the guesthouse, his laptop on the table, as he caught up on work emails. Shana had left for work early this morning. Hayden glanced up at the sound of a sharp knock at the door. Dane stepped inside.

  “Hey man, how’s it going?”

  Dane nodded and walked to the table, tugging a chair out and sitting. Hayden clicked out of his email and closed his laptop. Dane was quieter than usual. When Hayden met his eyes again, he knew instantly that somehow Dane knew about him and Shana. His mind whirred over last night. Shana had come home irritable and out of sorts. When he’d asked how she was doing, she shrugged it off and dragged him to her. She’d proceeded to drive him near out of his mind, as she was wont to do any moment they were alone. Yet, she’d had a reckless edge to her last night. He didn’t know what to do about the depth of intimacy he felt with her combined with the newness of their connection. He’d wanted to push, to ask what was on her mind, but he’d sensed she would only shut him down, so he left it alone. Looking at Dane, he wondered if Shana knew what Dane knew.

  Hayden took a breath and contemplated his position. He remembered how he’d felt last winter when he met Shana. The spark of attraction burned bright the first time he laid eyes on her. At the time, he hadn’t a clue of the circumstances around her marriage with Callen and had told himself she was off limits out of respect for what she was going through and his respect for Dane. The first day he saw her when he arrived in Catamount, those same thoughts spun through his mind. Then, she’d gone and kissed him, a kiss he hadn’t hesitated to enjoy the moment her lips met his. Beyond that, she’d shared the truth about the years of her barren marriage and made it clear what she wanted. Even then, he’d thought he was taking a step into something far
less than what he’d come to understand.

  The word love pierced through his thoughts like a shot. It had danced along the edges of his consciousness ever since the day he’d seen her in lion form in the woods. His lion knew exactly what lay between them. His awareness that Shana needed to be ready on her own terms and he couldn’t force it held him at bay. The other issue was purely logistical—how and when to relocate to Catamount. He hadn’t broached that topic yet with Shana. He wasn’t ready to put his heart on the line and scare her away. No matter how primal his feelings for her were, no matter the depth of power of the connection between them, he sensed Shana was still untangling her feelings. She was a strong woman and not to be pressured, so he didn’t dare play his cards too soon. He pondered how to explain all of this to Dane.

  Before he had a chance to say anything, Dane shifted. He stood before Hayden, his hackles raised and snarling. Hayden’s instinct drove him to shift. Dane growled and lunged toward him. Hayden didn’t want this and certainly not inside, so he backed away and pushed through the door, dashing into the yard and across the field toward the trees. Dane was right on his heels. Hayden clung to the threads of his human reason. He knew Dane needed this, so he’d find a way to balance that with keeping it from getting out of hand.

  Hayden spun around once they were in the shelter of the forest. Dane bounded off of a tree and dodged past Hayden, swiping him as he passed. Hayden snarled and leapt onto a tree branch. Dane was lean and quick. He tracked Hayden’s every move. They dashed through the trees, dodging and swiping. Hayden could feel Dane’s anger burning in every move. Hayden lost focus for a split second when Shana crossed his thoughts. In mid-air, he slipped, losing his grip on a branch. Dane pounced, growling in his face. After a long moment, quiet fell and Dane slowly backed away.

  A while later, Hayden slumped into a chair in the kitchen and eyed Dane cautiously. They’d quietly returned to the house and shifted back into human form.

  Dane cleared his throat. When Hayden glanced up, Dane’s eyes were hard. “Shana says it’s none of my business, but I figure it is. She’s my sister, and she’s been through hell. I don’t know what your intentions are, but if you hurt her, you’ll answer to me,” Dane said flatly.

  Hayden leaned back in his chair and held Dane’s gaze. “Fair enough.”

  Dane arched a brow. “What are your intentions? And don’t you dare tell me it’s none of my business. I trusted you. I’m doing my damnedest not to make this ugly, but you’d better be honest with me.” Dane’s voice was low and threaded with anger.

  Hayden was relieved to simply get this conversation out of the way because he hadn’t liked keeping this from Dane. The only reason he had was he felt like it was Shana’s choice, not his. He held Dane’s gaze. “I didn’t plan it this way, but as far as I’m concerned, there’s no one else for me. I know Shana’s had a rough year and maybe the timing isn’t ideal, but all I’m waiting for is for her to be ready. I’ve already decided I want to move to Catamount. I don’t have any family left in Bozeman to keep me there, and I can’t imagine Shana being anywhere other than Catamount. I like it here. It’s pure logistics on that end. I just…” He paused, his throat tightening. He wanted to blast through the waiting and convince Shana what he knew to be true—that she was the only woman for him.

  Dane’s hard expression softened. He uncrossed his arms and eyed Hayden. “So that’s how it is then?”

  Hayden ran a hand through his hair. “That’s how it is.”

  Dane was quiet for a moment, his eyes considering. “Shana doesn’t do pressure well.”

  Hayden nodded, his chest and throat still tight with emotion. “I gathered. I’ll wait. I haven’t told her exactly how I feel yet.”

  Dane leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table. “Might help if she knew.”

  “You don’t think she might feel pressured?”

  Dane shrugged. “I think she pressures herself more than anyone else can. I figure it’s best if she knows where you stand.”

  Hayden considered Dane’s words. “Maybe.” He took a breath, trying to ease the emotion clogging his throat. “Look, I respect you. I don’t want you to think…”

  Dane leaned back and waved a hand dismissively. “I was pissed, but I got it out of my system.” He paused and chuckled. “Shana pretty much jumped down my throat about it and made it clear she’s the one that started it. I’d still be pissed if I thought you might hurt her, but I’m not getting the sense I need to worry about that now. I reserve the right to get pissed in the future if anything changes though, so you’d better be good to her.”

  Hayden chuckled. “Right. You have my word.”

  Conversation moved on somehow. A while later after Dane left, Hayden sat upstairs in the small sitting area, staring out into the woods behind with the mountains rising beyond. The wheels in his mind turned as he considered when and how to tell Shana how much she meant to him.

  Chapter 12

  Shana returned home late after another double shift, her body tired and weary. When she went inside, she found Hayden had made dinner. She’d discovered he was a remarkably good cook. Tonight, he’d made a simple stew in the slow cooker, explaining he hadn’t been sure what time she’d be home. After eating a quiet dinner and mellowed with wine, Shana had tumbled into sleep, his strong arms around her.

  The next morning she woke to the sound of low male voices. She lay in bed, contemplating a brief conversation from last night when Hayden told her Dane had confronted him about her. She’d fessed up that Dane had confronted her about it the day before, but she hadn’t had the energy to talk about it yet. Hayden had been gracious enough to say he understood, but he didn’t offer anything else. She couldn’t help but wonder. She didn’t have to be in for work until this afternoon, so she tugged a robe on and headed for the door. She paused when she realized the other voice was Dane’s.

  “So, did you get up the nerve to tell Shana how you feel?” Dane’s question was soft with a hint of teasing.

  Her spine stiffened, annoyance flashing through her. She had to quell the urge to shove through the door and give them both a piece of her mind. She waited to hear Hayden’s response.

  “Not yet. Trying to find the right time.” His noncommittal reply only inflamed her irritation.

  “Well, don’t waste too much time.”

  Shana shoved through the door, tightening the belt on her robe as she strode into the kitchen. They were seated together at the table. Hayden pushed his chair back and stood. “Hey there, we just finished some omelets, but I’ve been waiting for you to get up before I made yours.”

  She fought against the pull to him. She wanted to go to him, tug him close for a kiss and bury her head in his strong chest. He was like her personal tuning fork, her body flexing toward him whenever he was near. Her emotions ran deep and she didn’t know how to manage them. Hearing that her own brother (who had no right to be interfering in her personal life!) apparently knew more about how Hayden felt about her infuriated and embarrassed her at once.

  When her eyes met Hayden’s, a flush raced through her, her face and body instantly hot. Her eyes bounced away from his to Dane’s. “Maybe you two could update me on whatever it is you’re talking about.” Her voice sounded high and shrill to her own ears, but she didn’t care. Anger pulsed through her in waves.

  ***

  Hayden stopped mid-stride and turned to Shana. Her face was flushed, her eyes snapping. Fuck. Talking to Dane before you talked to Shana…really bad plan. Hayden tried to gather his thoughts and think of what to say. He wished like hell Dane wasn’t here at the moment because he knew Dane’s presence likely amplified Shana’s anger. She was angry with him for not talking to her first and angry with Dane for butting into her life. Dane pushed his chair back from the table and stood.

  “Don’t get pissed at Hayden about this. I talked to him yesterday. Far as I’m concerned, he’s…” Dane started to say.

  “Since when is it up to you to s
creen anyone I’m involved with?” Shana didn’t bother to give Dane a chance to reply, swinging to Hayden. “So you have enough decency to mention my brother confronted you about us, but you don’t bother to tell me whatever the hell your feelings are?” Hayden opened his mouth to reply, but she waved him away. “You know what? If you think my fucking brother has more right to hear how you feel than I do, than I don’t care to hear it.”

  Hayden took a step toward her, curling his hand around her arm. She flung his touch away. “Shana, please…”

  “No!”

  His heart thumped, dread coiled in his stomach. He wanted to grab her and yank her to him, but he knew he couldn’t. Not now. Forcing this would only lead her to push him away. He let his hand fall, clenching and unclenching his fist to keep from grabbing her again. She whirled away, turning back before she pushed through the bedroom door. “When I come back out, I think it’s best if you stay in the other apartment here. Dane can help make sure the heater’s running.”

  The door to her bedroom slammed shut. He stood there, the silence reverberating in the room. He turned and caught Dane’s eyes. Dane hitched his brows up and shrugged.

  “Sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said anything. Give her some time. I know you mean a lot to her.”

  Hayden tried to quell the pain tightening inside, but he couldn’t. He feared he’d lost Shana over the stupidest thing—not having the nerve to just tell her how he felt. He didn’t have it in him to talk anymore. He nodded sharply at Dane. “Mind giving us some privacy?”

  Dane stood up so quickly, he almost knocked his chair over. “Catch you later,” he said over his shoulder on the way out the door.

  Hayden took a breath and walked to Shana’s bedroom door.

  “Shana? Please let me explain,” he called through the door.

  There was a long silence before he heard footsteps pounding across the floor and the door flew open. Shana’s silver eyes were dark with anger and laced with pain. “I don’t want you to explain. I am so tired of everyone thinking I’m too fragile to tell me what’s going on. I need some space. Just leave me alone.” She turned away and closed the door quietly. The sound of the lock echoed through the hallway.