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Their Promised Land

Page 23

by Ian Buruma


  In the garden of their last home at Boxford, Berkshire

  Left alone, physically frail, in constant pain, and humiliated by her dependence on others, but mentally as sharp as ever, Win had a miserable two years before she followed Bernard. And John, felled by two strokes, was first reduced to a shadow of his former self, wheeled around the cacti in his garden at Palm Springs, California, giving directions as though on a ghostly movie set, and then lost the capacity to communicate anything at all.

  I walked from Willesden tube station to the cemetery on a windy late-summer day. Greasy paper bags and plastic containers were blowing across the streets. Willesden is not the most attractive part of London. Largely rural until the nineteenth century, it was once a place of pilgrimage: a sacred well with healing properties was located there, as was a statue of the Black Madonna, which was burnt along with other popish images when the Catholic Church came under attack in the sixteenth century. From the late 1930s, many Jewish refugees from Germany and Eastern Europe moved to Willesden, by then a largely working-class area.

  Much has changed in London since then. Willesden has now become one of the most mixed immigrant districts in London, with Iranian supermarkets, Polish groceries, Iraqi bakeries, Hindu temples, Islamic colleges, Chinese hairdressers, halal butchers, Turkish kebab joints, and Pakistani cab companies. It is no longer the England that Bernard and Win knew. Their rural idyll of Berkshire seems very far from there. Even the genteel streets of Hampstead, where they grew up, feel distant, even though Fitzjohn’s Avenue and Parsifal Road are only a few miles away.

  Thinking about my grandparents, and my uncle John, as I stand over the wilting roses that cover their names, I feel the strong sense of regret that I always have when I think of people I loved who are no longer alive, regret that they don’t know me now, instead of my younger self, with all the clumsiness that goes with youth. I think of all the silly things I have uttered, every awkward move to impress, all the preening and posing, and wince. But this has less to do with my grandparents or my uncle than with the passing of time. One’s younger self always looks embarrassing in hindsight. I wonder if they would have thought so, if they had reread the letters they wrote in their teens, twenties, or even later. If so, I hope they would have forgiven me for making them public.

  Epitaphs are chosen either by people before they die or by others who loved them. There are no epitaphs on the plaque that marks the graves of Bernard and Win. At her funeral in Oxford, in 1986, Rabbi Rayner of the Liberal Jewish Synagogue in St. John’s Wood called Win a Tzaddeket, the Hebrew word for a righteous woman. I doubt whether she would have recognized the word, but it seems apt.

  At Bernard’s memorial in London, in 1984, John read a poem by e. e. cummings, titled “My Father”:

  his flesh was flesh his blood was blood:

  no hungry man but wished him food;

  no cripple wouldn’t creep one mile

  uphill to only see him smile.

  This seems apt as well. But one of Bernard’s letters to Win might be his most fitting epitaph. It was written on December 2, 1941, five days before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. The letter was sent from Bangor, Northern Ireland. Bernard expresses the hope that one day soon they will be reunited and “this time for good in a better world.” Then he goes on to say, “Recently I have come to disbelieve in any Heaven or Hell. My idea is that our hereafter, good or bad, is the memory of ourselves we leave behind.”

  By memory I don’t think he meant norms of behavior or morality, or worldly success, that following generations should emulate. If that is what he meant, he might have been disappointed. As in most families, the lives of his children and grandchildren are riddled with common human failures. Bernard and Win’s marriage set an almost impossible standard.

  But Bernard was anything but an arrogant man. What he meant, I think, is that he made the best he could out of his life, and hoped that the best would live on in the memories of his offspring. The desire to live up to this memory, to seek the approval of the dead, much as one did when they were still living, is both a curse and a blessing. It is a curse because it is an unattainable goal, and a blessing because it inspires us to do better.

  The choices made by Bernard and Win, the stories they told themselves, are not mine, but they have affected my choices, for good and for ill. It is in the nature of eulogies and memorials that the dead are idealized. The book about their correspondence is not a eulogy. That Bernard and Win had their flaws might have been apparent. I loved them not despite their flaws, but also because of them; they too live on in my own.

  I do not expect the reader of their letters to love them as I did. But I hope to have honored their memories. This is my way of placing a stone on their graves, sprinkling the English roses that mark their ashes, and tending to their afterlife. It would be good to end this book in the way of a film, with a dolly shot moving away from the tablet that bears their names, the scene fading to the rolling credits of all the people touched by their lives.

  But for me, I know that the movie will never quite end. And as long as there are readers, the hereafter of Bernard and Win is assured by the written testimony they left behind.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to thank my sister, Ann Buruma, for her enormous help in tracking down letters, photographs, and other bits of information. Writing about intimate family relations is always a tricky business. I am deeply grateful for the generous spirit in which Richard Levy and Hilary Schlesinger read the manuscript, which not only saved me from errors—they were there, after all, I was not—but improved the book. Michael Raeburn kindly allowed me to read some of his father’s letters. Lilli Zimet shared her memories with me. And without the loyal readership and encouragement of Eri Hotta, my wife, and Isabel Buruma, my daughter, I would have found it much harder to soldier on.

  I owe a debt to Jin Auh and Jacqueline Ko of the Wylie Agency for their unstinting support. And to Scott Moyers and Mally Anderson, my fine editors at Penguin Press, whose skill and dedication to the written word are all too rare, even among professionals.

  Index

  The page numbers in this index refer to the printed version of this book. The link provided will take you to the beginning of that print page. You may need to scroll forward from that location to find the corresponding reference on your e-reader.

  Africa, 193, 210, 240, 272

  Allenby, Edmund, 65, 69–70

  Alsberg, Adele (Tante Dele), 78, 79, 94, 132

  Alsberg, Adolf, 94–95, 131, 134

  Alsberg, Anna, 100

  Alsberg, Lise (Aunt Liz), 180

  Alsberg, Reinhard, see Raeburn, Ashley

  Amritsar, 237–38

  Amulree, Basil William Sholto Mackenzie, Baron, 125, 164–67, 169, 170, 191, 212

  atomic bombs, 270, 279

  Auschwitz, 140, 144, 227–28, 267, 281–82

  Austria, 137

  Baden-Powell, Robert, 73

  Badminton School, 183–86, 192–93, 253, 270, 284

  Baer, Vera, 140, 231, 282

  Baker, Beatrice May (BMB), 183–86, 192–93, 270–71

  Bangor, 196–98, 291

  Barrie, James, 44, 46, 73, 85, 202n

  Battle of Britain, 188–89

  Bayreuth Festival, 229

  Beech House Military Hospital, 37–38, 67–69, 68, 72–73, 162

  Beersheba, 65–66

  Beethoven, Ludwig van, 7, 26, 29, 34, 110

  Benenden, 187–89, 195

  Bengal, 239–40

  Benjamin, Walter, 144

  Bergen-Belsen, 267

  Berkshire, 200, 206, 227, 232–33, 248, 285

  see also Kintbury; St. Mary Woodlands House

  Berlin, Isaiah, 221

  Birley, Oswald, 220

  Birnbaum, Irene, 140

  Birnbaum, Steffi, 140

  Blac
k, Joy, 200

  Bloch brothers, 128–29

  Bloomsbury House, 145, 148, 283

  Bluh, Walter, 140, 144, 147–48

  Boekdrukker, Wim, 128

  Bolshevism, 159, 223n

  Brahms, Johannes, 7, 26, 29, 34, 85–86, 110

  Bristol, 183, 184, 186

  Britain:

  American troops in, 260–62

  Germany’s war with, 150, 153–57, 159–63, 166–69, 179–81, 183, 186–90, 192–94, 201–2, 249, 252

  refugees and Kindertransport in, 138, 141, 143, 145–46, 283

  British Empire Exhibition, 219n

  Buchenwald, 267, 268

  Buruma, Ian:

  anti-Semitism and, 192

  childhood friendship of, 215–16

  and Christmas at St. Mary Woodlands House, 1–12, 3, 5

  father of, 7, 221

  mother of, see Schlesinger, Wendy

  sisters of, 3, 6, 10, 11

  Cambridge University, 83–84, 106

  Bernard at, 30, 74, 77, 83, 87, 107, 109, 113

  Canada, 168, 178

  Cantlie, Dr., 36, 37

  Catholicism, 17, 170–71, 198, 284, 289

  Cecil, Robert, 131

  Chamberlain (Catholic padre), 197–98

  Chamberlain, Neville, 145

  Chauvel, Harry, 66

  Christians, Christianity, 14, 69–70, 97, 98, 100, 102, 134, 146, 199, 201, 257, 273, 283

  Catholicism, 17, 170–71, 198, 284, 289

  Hilary and, 16–17, 283–84

  Churchill, Winston, 239, 240, 263–65, 270, 272, 276–77, 280

  City of Benares, 169

  Clark, Gordon, 55

  Cole, Nat King, 8

  Communism, 270, 271–72

  concentration camps, 138, 140, 142, 229

  Auschwitz, 140, 144, 227–28, 267, 281–82

  liberation of, 267, 268

  Connaught, Prince Arthur, Duke of, 70

  Cooper, Douglas, 165, 166–67, 197

  Country Life, 247, 285

  Coward, Noël, 7

  Creak, Mildred, 213

  Cripps, Richard Stafford, 185

  cummings, e. e., 290

  Darby and Joan, 119–21

  Dardanelles, 40, 62

  D-Day, 252–54, 261, 263

  De Gaulle, Charles, 193

  Dickens, Charles, 228

  Dies Natalis (Finzi), 199

  Doiran, 61–63, 72

  Dunkirk, 166, 167

  Dyer, Major, 237–38

  Dyer, Reginald, 237–38

  Egypt, 63, 64, 110, 193

  Eisenhower, Dwight D., 268

  Elgar, Edward, 219n

  Ellinger, Alexander, 13

  Ellinger, Estella, 12–13

  English Journey, An (Priestley), 136, 159

  ENSA, 250

  Face of Battle, The (Keegan), 55–56

  Far from the Madding Crowd, 259

  Feig, Lore, 140, 147, 221

  Fernberg, Leo, 25

  Feuermann, Emanuel, 149

  Finch, Peter, 259

  Finzi, Gerald, 199–201, 207, 228, 261

  Firbank, Ronald, 27–28

  Fitzjohn’s Avenue, 24–25, 33, 40, 179

  flu epidemic, 73, 80

  Flying Dutchman, The (Wagner), 197

  Forster, E. M., 200, 244

  France, 71–72, 156, 162, 193, 256, 263

  Normandy landings in, 252–54

  Win and Bernard’s honeymoon in, 117, 118

  French Riviera, 111

  Freud, Sigmund, 97, 143

  Gallipoli, 40, 62

  Galsworthy, John, 93

  Gandhi, Indira, 185–86

  Gandhi, Mahatma, 185

  Gaudier-Brzeska, Henri, 55

  German Jews, 13–14, 98, 134, 136, 140–41, 161

  Wagner and, 199

  see also Nazi Germany

  Germany, 25, 26, 38, 72, 91–93, 94, 95, 130, 131, 133, 134

  Hitler’s rise in, 129, 131, 132, 133, 136

  hostility toward, 29, 30, 93, 161

  Kassel, 78, 79, 93–95, 97, 98, 101, 131, 132, 201

  see also Nazi Germany

  Gielgud, John, 83, 248

  Gifford (friend of Bernard’s), 169–70, 171, 213, 225, 228

  Gilbert and Sullivan, 85, 285–86

  Glorious, HMS, 156

  Gloucester, Duke of, 226

  Glucksmann, Frieda, 143, 148

  Graham (chauffeur), 61

  Grand Hotel Bellevue, 111–12

  Greece, 263–65

  Green, Jonathan, 190

  Halbertal, Moshe, 14

  Hall, Betty, 251

  Hall (gardener), 222–23

  Hampstead, 25

  Templewood Avenue, 122–23, 125, 132, 146, 148, 160, 225, 271

  Win in, 24, 105

  Hecht, Peter, 140, 244

  Heine, Heinrich, 91

  Heymans, Estella, 42

  Hindenburg, Paul von, 95n, 131, 132

  Hinsley, Cardinal, 193

  Hitler, Adolf, 95, 129, 131, 132, 133, 136, 143, 159, 189, 193, 196, 229, 277

  plot against, 255

  H.M.S. Pinafore (Gilbert and Sullivan), 285–86

  Hoare, Samuel, 143

  Hohfluh, 149, 149, 171, 227

  Holman, Dr., 231

  Holmes, Wulston, 39–40

  Hotel Alpenruhe, 149–50, 149

  Hotel Wagram, 116–17, 118, 227

  Howards End (Forster), 200

  India, 185, 272–74

  Bernard in, 52, 57, 115, 121, 142, 168–70, 213–14, 217–22, 218, 226–28, 231–41, 244–48, 264, 273–74, 278–79

  famine in, 239–40

  influenza, 73, 80

  Inkpen, 205, 206, 265

  Inkpen Beacon, 7, 276

  International League Against Anti-Semitism, 133

  Ireland, 196–98, 207, 230, 291

  Isaacs, Rufus, 220

  Isaacs, Simon, 220

  Israel, 121

  Italy, 272

  Jacobsohn, Ilse, 140, 183

  James, Colonel, 15, 126–27

  James, Mrs., 126–27

  Japan, 130–31, 133, 241, 249, 252, 268, 279, 280, 291

  Jerome, Jerome K., 73

  Jerusalem, 69–70

  Jewish Chronicle, 147

  Jews, Judaism, 38, 39, 97–98, 102, 221, 228, 246, 281–82

  assimilation of, 13, 14, 99, 211

  Bernard and, 14–15, 16, 101–3, 107–9, 195–96, 198, 229–32, 284–85

  concentration camps and, see concentration camps

  German, see German Jews

  Hilary and, 283–84

  hospitals and, 107, 108

  Israel and, 121

  John and, 257–60

  Kristallnacht and, 137–38, 140, 144, 177

  Polish, 98

  refugees, see refugees

  Rosenzweig and, 79, 97–99, 102, 103

  in Soviet Union, 262–63

  Walter’s essay on, 98–99, 100

  Wendy and, 283–84

  Win and, 14–15, 16, 100–103, 105–7, 127, 128, 191–92, 193–95, 229–32, 284–85

  Juliana, Queen, 11–12

  Karloff, Boris, 27–28

  Kashmir, 236, 237, 267

  Kassel, 78, 79, 93–95, 97, 98, 101, 131, 132, 201

  Kästner, Fräulein von, 132

  Kaufmann, Edith, 144

  Kee, Robert, 55

  Keegan, John, 55–56

  Kindertransport, 138, 145–46, 283

  King-Hall, Stephen, 271

  Kintbury, 167,
190, 203, 270

  see also Mount Pleasant, Kintbury

  Kintbury Follies, 174–75, 175, 204–5

  Kipling, Rudyard, 74, 235

  Kitchener, Lord, 26

  Kohorn, Wolfgang, 140

  Kristallnacht, 137–38, 140, 144, 177

  Laski, Harold, 270n

  László, Philip de, 220

  Laura (cook), 3–4, 8, 167–68, 175, 193, 205, 222–24, 223, 233

  League of Nations, 75, 131, 184

  Levi, Hermann, 199

  Levy, Lotte, 177, 212, 228–29

  Levy, Richard “Dick” (Hans), 146, 157, 177–79, 193, 212–16, 214, 218, 276, 282

  Liberal Jewish Synagogue, 165, 194–96, 284, 290

  Linlithgow, Victor Hope, Lord, 219, 239, 240

  Lippmann, Walter, 270

  Little Man, The (Galsworthy), 93

  Lloyd, Constance, 117

  Lloyd George, David, 69

  London, 8, 38, 79–80, 107, 116, 124, 126, 129, 142, 145, 165–66, 179–80, 254, 269

  Blitz in, 183, 186, 187, 201–2, 254

  end of war celebration in, 276

  Willesden, 287, 289

  London School of Economics, 270

  Lord, Thomas, 194

  MacArthur, Douglas, 263

  Macedonia, 60–63, 78

  Mackenzie, Basil William Sholto (Baron Amulree), 125, 164–67, 169, 170, 191, 212

  Mamlok, Marianne, 140, 142, 147, 283, 284

  Many Inventions (Kipling), 74

  Marx Brothers, 208n

  Mattuck, Rabbi, 165

  May, Bill, 224

  Maybaum, Ignaz, 144–45

  Maybaum, Michael, 140, 141, 144–45

  Mendelssohn, Felix, 199

  Moberly, Winifred, 105, 109

  Montgomery, Bernard, 240–41, 256

  Moore, Roger, 4

  Mount Pleasant, Kintbury, 19, 122–23, 146, 153–54, 157, 165, 171, 174–75, 175, 177–78, 180, 193, 222–29, 232, 241, 276

  Bernard at, 154

  garden at, 225, 255

  Laura at, 223

  Win at, 154, 233

  Mozart, Wolfgang Amadeus, 7

  Murdoch, Iris, 185–86

  Murray, Archibald, 65

  music, 7–8, 25, 34, 64–65, 85, 158, 198, 201, 229

  “My Father” (cummings), 290

  My Lady Nicotine (Barrie), 73

  Namier, Lewis, 221

 

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