The Wedding Date

by Jennifer Joyce

  ‘How did this happen?’ Clara is staring at us in wonder, her eyes darting from our faces to our hands, which Ryan has linked together.

  ‘It was Ricky, wasn’t it?’ Ryan says, thinking on his feet. Thankfully one of us is on the ball. I just want to go home and pretend none of this is happening. It was one thing fooling Francesca into thinking Ryan and I were together but now we have to keep up this pretence in front of my family for the next few weeks. And Mum is going to be devastated when I dump Ryan after the wedding (there is no way I’m being dumped again. No way at all).

  ‘I thought you didn’t want to talk about Ricky.’ Patrick has joined the unhelpful gang.

  Ryan decides to ignore him. ‘I was so jealous when I saw them together and I realised I’ve been hiding my feelings for Delilah for years.’

  ‘Feelings? You actually are in love?’ Mum is back and at hearing Ryan’s words is making good use of the wad of kitchen roll she’s brought back with her.

  ‘Yes. We’re in love.’ Ryan once again takes me in his arms and gives me another damn good snogging. By the time we’ve come back up for air, the small crowd has dissipated. Patrick is now across the room, shooting daggers at my new beau.

  ‘That was the most surreal and disgusting thing I have ever seen,’ Lauren says. She’s the only one who has remained within earshot of us.

  ‘Hey, it had to be done.’ Ryan winks and I’m glad I didn’t eat that cardboard-y cream cheese canapé earlier otherwise it would be now sitting on my shoes.

  ‘Thanks for all your help tonight.’ I place the palm of my hand on Ryan’s cheek and smile lovingly at him. ‘But if you ever put your tongue in my mouth again, I’ll bite it off, ok?’

  Ryan nods. ‘Understood.’

  ‘I’m going to need a bigger glass of wine,’ Lauren says as she wanders off towards the kitchen.

  Chapter 24

  Being Ryan’s Girlfriend

  Text Message:

  Unknown Number: Hi Delilah. You don’t know me but I’m Yvette, Ryan’s girlfriend. I copied your number from his phone (hope you don’t mind LOL). Have you heard from Ryan? How is he? How is his gran? I’m so worried about him. I haven’t heard from him since last night when he rushed off to the hospital!

  Delilah: Ryan’s fine. Don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be in touch

  Unknown Number: Hello again! It’s been two hours and I still haven’t heard from Ryan. Can you ask him to call me?

  Mum’s in the garden at the front of the house when I arrive home from work. She works part-time as a receptionist at a local estate agents and during the warmer months she spends any spare time outside. She’s always been an outdoorsy type of person. As kids, we’d go camping while our friends jetted off to Spain or Florida, experiencing the sometimes harsh British summers under a thin canopy. It’s only just beginning to grow warm but Mum’s in her element as she weeds the beds around the lawn.

  ‘Hello, love.’ Mum looks up when she hears the creak of the gate and wipes her forehead with the back of her hand, leaving behind a grimy smear. ‘Good day at work?’

  I think about Katey-Louise’s attention-seeking efforts during the day (including dropping and retrieving her pen several times, thus shoving her bum in Adam’s face) and Adam’s refusal to be drawn into her little games.

  ‘Yeah, not bad.’ I close the gate behind me. ‘Do you need any help with anything?’

  ‘No thanks.’ Mum wrestles with a tough bit of weed, coaxing it out of the ground and adding it to a compostable bin liner by her knees. ‘I’m almost done. Your dad’ll be on his way home and I’ve sent him to pick up a takeaway curry.’ Mum gathers up the ends of the bag and ties them loosely. ‘Do you want to invite your Ryan over? Your dad always orders too much and it’ll be nice for us all to get together.’

  Not if it means Ryan has to snog me to keep up the bogus relationship pretence. ‘He can’t. He has a meeting at school and won’t be back until late.’

  ‘Oh.’ Mum gives a weary sigh and rises to her feet, brushing her hands over her old, grubby leggings. ‘Never mind. Maybe he can come over for Sunday lunch?’

  ‘He has football training.’ I’m not even lying about this one (there is no meeting at school tonight). Ryan and I have been ‘together’ for a couple of weeks now but the porkies aren’t becoming any more palatable, especially when it comes to Mum.

  ‘He’s very dedicated to the job, isn’t he?’ Mum picks up the weed-filled bag and drops it into the compost recycling bin. ‘You must be so proud of him. I can’t believe you’re going to be a teacher’s wife! How glamorous.’

  ‘Hey, hey, hey!’ I scurry after Mum, following her into the house and through to the kitchen. ‘Who said anything about marriage?’

  Mum has clearly taken the news of my relationship with Ryan and run with it, gaining so much speed I can’t possibly keep up with her.

  ‘I suppose you don’t have to get married these days, but it’d be a shame not to.’ Mum rolls up her sleeves and turns on the hot tap. ‘Partner doesn’t have the same prestige, does it?’

  ‘Prestige? When did you become such a snob? You’re starting to sound like Eleanor.’

  Mum gasps. I think she’s let the hot tap run too long and scalded herself at first but it’s much worse than that.

  ‘Eleanor! I completely forgot about that ghastly woman. Just think, she’ll be your mother-in-law. Or whatever the term is when you’re partners.’

  ‘Mum, please. It’s far too soon to be thinking about things like that.’

  Mum squirts a good blob of lemon-scented soap into the palm of her hand and lathers up. ‘Not really. Not when you think about it. You and Ryan are practically childhood sweethearts.’

  ‘We are not.’ I get an unpleasant feeling in my tummy. I love Ryan, but not like that.

  ‘Not technically, no.’ Mum rinses off the soap and dries her hands. ‘But you’ve been friends since you were tiny. You know everything about each other already so it’s not like starting from scratch.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ I say. The alternative is standing up on one of the kitchen chairs and declaring the farce that mine and Ryan’s relationship really is. I’ve thought about telling Mum the truth. We had to play along at Clara’s party because Patrick was there and we’d look like fools (to say the least) if we admitted we’d been lying to him in the office. But Patrick isn’t here now and although I’d look pretty foolish admitting the truth to Mum, I’ve looked like a fool a million times in front of her before.

  ‘I’m so pleased for you, you know.’ Mum places her lemony hands on my cheeks and kisses me on the forehead. ‘Your dad and I were starting to get worried about you after Ben. We were worried about you while you were with Ben, if I’m honest. You seemed to shrink in on yourself while you were with him but look at you now. Ryan’s done that for you. He’s brought you to life again!’

  Girl Power was obviously lost on Mum.

  Even still, I can’t bear to burst her bubble. Yes, I am a wuss, but my intentions are good if nothing else.

  ‘Isn’t he wonderful?’ I gush.

  ‘And hunky too. You’ve done well for yourself there.’ Mum winks before she toddles off to change out of her grimy clothes and I get that funny tummy feeling again.

  Ryan and Lauren think it’s hilarious that Mum described Ryan as ‘hunky’. It’s later that evening and we’re in The Farthing. Dan isn’t working tonight so I can actually relax with my pint for a change.

  ‘Hunky? Him?’ Lauren points at Ryan and splutters.

  ‘Hey.’ Ryan stops laughing and frowns at Lauren. ‘I am hunky. Just ask Delilah’s mum.’

  I didn’t want to burst Mum’s bubble earlier but I have no qualms about taking a giant pin to Ryan’s. ‘I wouldn’t read too much into that. She also describes Norris Cole from Corrie as hunky too.’

  This makes Lauren howl, though Ryan refuses to join in the laughter this time.

  ‘Anyway.’ I drain the dregs from my glass and stand up, knowing Dan isn’t worki
ng tonight. ‘Who wants another drink?’

  It feels quite novel to be making my way to the bar, although I do double check that Dan hasn’t sneaked into the pub and popped himself behind the bar before I fully commit myself to the job. Ryan and Lauren are huddled together when I return with the drinks.

  ‘Lauren’s just had an idea,’ Ryan says as I place the drinks down on the table and sit on my stool. He shuffles forward and puts his arm around me.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I look around the pub, expecting to see Mum or Patrick heading towards us.

  ‘Smile.’ Ryan holds out his arm, his phone clutched in his hand at the other end. He takes a photo, tutting as he examines it. He deletes the photo before stretching out his arm again and giving me a squeeze.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I ask again.

  ‘Taking a selfie to put on Facebook as proof of our love. So get a smile on your face, woman.’

  ‘Shouldn’t it go on my Facebook? So Francesca can see it?’ I grab my own phone and take the photo before posting it on Facebook. Within minutes it has three likes; one each from Clara and Graham and one, joyfully, from Francesca.

  ‘Looks like our plan’s working,’ Ryan says. ‘How does it feel to be dating Woodgate’s most eligible bachelor?’

  ‘Necessary,’ I tell him. ‘It feels necessary.’

  ‘You say that now.’ Ryan puts his arm – unnecessarily – around my shoulders. ‘But give it three weeks and you’ll be totally in love with me.’

  I unpeel Ryan’s arm from my shoulder, barely able to mask my distaste. ‘I doubt that very much. You’re a great friend, Ryan.’ He really is. Who else would go along with my silly plans, let alone volunteer for a starring role? ‘But you’d make a lousy boyfriend.’

  ‘You what?’ Ryan’s eyes widen as he twists in his seat to face me. ‘I’m fantastic boyfriend material.’ Ryan lifts his hand so he can tick his good points off on his fingers. ‘I have my own house, a decent job, I can cook – sort of – and I’m pretty tidy.’ Ryan holds out his other hand as I start to interrupt with an objection to that last statement. ‘Yes, I am tidy. You’re just being picky now.’

  ‘Speaking of picky,’ I say. ‘When was the last time you had a girlfriend?’

  Ryan has a really good think about this. It’s a tough question. ‘Does Yvette count?’ I shake my head. ‘Ok, it’s been a while since I’ve been in a proper relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m not any good at it. I just haven’t found the right girl yet.’

  ‘And you think that’s me?’

  ‘Eww, no.’ Ryan screws up his nose, which obviously inflates my ego to enormous proportions. I doubt I’ll be able to fit my big head through The Farthing’s door on the way out. ‘I said you’d fall in love with me, not the other way round.’

  ‘Well, rest assured that won’t happen.’

  ‘We’ll see, my friend.’ Ryan winks at me. ‘We’ll see.’

  Mum and Dad are curled up on the sofa watching old episodes of Kojak when I arrive back from the pub. Mum shifts over and pats the space beside her.

  ‘Had a nice night out with Ryan?’ she asks as I sit next to her. She gives me a funny little toothy smile as she awaits my answer, her head bobbing away.

  ‘Yeah, it was fun.’

  ‘What did you do?’

  ‘We went to the pub with Lauren.’

  Mum’s toothy smile vanishes as she sinks back into the sofa. ‘With Lauren? Doesn’t she feel like a gooseberry?’

  ‘No. Why would she?’ I mentally kick myself, remembering too late that Ryan is my ‘boyfriend’. ‘We’ve all been friends for years. Nothing’s really changed.’

  ‘It certainly has.’ Mum shares a look with Dad. It’s the same look they share whenever they think they know better than me. ‘You and Ryan need time together. Alone. Do you want me to have a word with Lauren? Tell her to back off a bit?’

  ‘No!’ I can’t believe Mum would suggest such a thing. Even if Ryan and I were together for real, I would never elbow Lauren out of the way. ‘Don’t you dare say a word about me and Ryan. To anybody.’

  Mum shares another look with Dad, but this time it’s one filled with slight panic.

  ‘What have you done?’

  ‘Nothing. Not really.’ Mum bites her lip and starts to fiddle with her hair. ‘I assumed she knew.’

  ‘Who?’ I have visions of Mum phoning around distant relatives to pass on the news that I’ve finally got my act together and bagged myself a man.

  Mum mumbles her answer, but it’s so quiet I don’t catch it.

  ‘Sorry?’

  Mum shoots Dad a look, but he offers nothing more than a shrug of his shoulders. Mum turns back to me but she can’t quite meet my eye. ‘I told Eleanor about you and Ryan.’

  ‘Eleanor?’ My voice comes out all high-pitched and screechy. ‘You told Ryan’s mum about us?’

  ‘I assumed she knew! You’d think she would, wouldn’t you? It wasn’t like I was trying to gossip or anything. I saw her heading out earlier and I just said what a lovely couple you and Ryan make and how happy I was that you’d found a nice young man like him.’

  Mum’s babbling but I’m not really listening. I’m too busy having a bit of inner panic. Eleanor knows. Ryan mentioned telling her as the plan was hatched, so that she’d back off with the Cupid act, but he hasn’t said a word about her since and I was hoping he’d changed his mind. Having Eleanor in my life is not something I’m too thrilled about, even if it is only temporary and make-believe.

  ‘She didn’t believe me, you know. Said it couldn’t possibly be true. Ryan would have told her. But he didn’t, did he? Why is that? He’s not ashamed of you, is he?’ Mum trades her guilt for suspicion, her lips pressed into a thin line as she observes me through narrowed eyes.

  ‘No. Why would he be?’

  ‘Maybe because his mother is a snooty so-and-so who thinks she’s better than us?’ Mum folds her arms across her chest with a thump. She’s never forgiven Eleanor for snubbing her casserole the day the Fords moved in next door. ‘Maybe he thinks you’re not good enough for his mum.’

  ‘You know Ryan isn’t like his mum.’

  ‘I thought I did but now I’m not so sure.’ Mum’s foot is tapping against the floor. ‘Why else wouldn’t he have told her about you?’

  ‘The same reason I didn’t tell you straight away,’ I say while reaching into my bag for my phone. I need to give Ryan a heads up. ‘This is all new to us and it’s a bit strange after being friends for so long. We needed a bit of time to get our heads around it first.’

  My phone bleeps in my hand. It’s a text message from Ryan.

  Mum knows about ‘us’. She wants us all to meet up for dinner!

  This is not good.

  I’m afraid. Very afraid.

  Chapter 25

  Work Crushes

  Text Message:

  Lauren: Paul Grady’s wearing the blue suit again. He looks so damn hot! There’s no way I’m going to get any work done today

  Delilah: Me either. Not because I have the distraction of a hot bloke. I just lack motivation

  I’ve never had a work crush before – how could I when the male population of the office consisted of Neville and his spotty son? Even the thought of hooking up with either of them gives me an unpleasant feeling in my tummy. It’s a bit like when Ryan kissed me at Clara’s party but with less tongue involved. Lauren is constantly infatuated with people at work, whether it’s a colleague, a client or the lad who cleans the windows every Thursday morning. She says it helps pass the time and I can certainly see what she means as Adam drops into the chair next to me. I’d much rather look at Adam’s lovely face than the spreadsheet in front of me. Mine and Adam’s desks are packed so close together, his knee is almost brushing against mine and this fact alone is making me blush like a teenager accidentally watching a sex scene in a film with their parents (it’s happened to us all, right?). I find myself gulping cartoon-style; over-exaggerated and so noisily it catches Adam
’s attention.

  ‘Are you ok?’ Adam swivels in his chair to face me and this time the very tips of our knees connect for a beautiful split second.

  ‘Yes. I’m fine. Really fine. Super.’ Super? ‘Why do you ask?’

  ‘I thought you were choking or something.’ Adam checks me out, looking for clues that I’m not ‘super’ at all. You know, like a blue tinge to my lips, a lack of chest movement or my hands clutching my blocked throat.

  ‘Nope. I’m fine. Are you?’

  Adam nods. ‘Yeah, fine. Super.’

  I ignore the twitching of Adam’s lips as he fights against the smile that is clearly itching to spread across his lovely face. ‘How are you getting on with the blog?’ I point at the screen, where the Brinkley’s blog is loaded up. Adam has been working hard to promote us and the blog is now packed with information about our products and the faces behind them. Katey-Louise was not at all happy that Neville was put first in the ‘getting to know you’ section, jumping the queue ahead of her.

  ‘It’s going well. The hits are building more and more every day.’ Adam points at the ‘getting to know you’ tab at the top of the page. ‘Are you still interested in being featured?’

  ‘Sure, why not?’ Adam promised to whisk me away for lunch to go over the questionnaire so I’m hoping this still stands.

  ‘I know we said we’d go out for lunch to go through the questionnaire,’ Adam says and I can sense a ‘but’. I’m disappointed as I was hoping to take a breather from Katey-Louise this afternoon. I’m sick of hearing about the comments she’s had on her latest YouTube vlog and I’m tempted to post a load of negative ones just to shut her up. ‘But I’ve got a meeting with Neville this afternoon to go over some stats and figures so I’ll need to work through lunch to prepare. Are you free after work instead?’

  As buts go, this one isn’t so bad. In fact, I quite like it.

  ‘Yes, I’m free. But only if you get the first round in.’

  The work day can’t come to an end quickly enough; not only am I ready for launching Katey-Louise – and her array of hair products – through one of the Portakabin windows, I also have the pleasure of meeting up with Adam. To avoid suspicion, we leave the office separately, meeting over at The Bonnie Dundee a few minutes apart. Adam left first and is currently sitting with a couple of pints.