by Hoff, Stacy
The alligator, having devoured both fish, finally scurried back to camp with surprising speed. Colin looked at the beast from within his safety circle. He picked up the bola and whipped it around. But before he could fling it, the alligator, apparently uninterested in a fiery battle, skulked away.
“Steph?”
“Yeah, Ana, what’s up?”
“How’s your dad?”
“The same. At least as of this morning, anyway. I’m not at the hospital yet. I’m due back this afternoon.”
“Are things kind of calm for you now?”
“Sure, I guess so.”
“Okay,” Ana said.
Stephanie heard her take a deep breath.
“You know whatever we see on Colin’s show has already happened to him. We’re just finding out about it in stages, as the show airs, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So the show’s already done and he’s already somewhere safe, waiting for it to be aired. Then he can come out of seclusion.”
“Yes, I know. What’s going on? You’re making me nervous.”
“This morning I overheard Mark, Neil, and Bernie saying they were happy the ratings have been holding steady. Bernie said he’d been worried because the first two caged animals hadn’t gone as planned. Colin had defeated them too easily. They decided to ‘ramp up the action a bit’ and were hoping the next episodes would get even better ratings. Do you know what all that means?”
Stephanie was quiet, trying not to fall down with the same speed her stomach had already plummeted.
Chapter 28
“Don’t worry, Steph, when the episode airs tonight, I’ll be there to watch it with you.”
“Thanks, Ana,” Stephanie managed. “I’m glad you’re coming. I think we can forget about the popcorn, though. I’ve lost ten pounds from all this stress. I’ll see you tonight. Three more episodes to go. I can’t wait until this is done.”
She hung up, wondering if she should call Mark. Let him know if anything happened to Colin because they deliberately set him up, she’d go public. But what was the point? Like Ana said, whatever was on TV had happened weeks ago. By now, Colin had already survived it. Or he was already dead.
Colin sat on the large rock he’d hauled into his campsite to serve as a makeshift chair. The edge to his spear needed to be sharp if he was going to get any fish today. For two days, he had eaten nothing, and his hunger was giving him a massive headache. Pressure pounding hard on his temples, and his head was in a vice that wouldn’t release. It’d been so hot and humid, he hadn’t had the energy lately to do more than sleep. But not eating was making him feel even more exhausted and ill. He vowed no matter how high the heat and humidity reached today, he was not going to rest until he caught a fish for dinner.
Diligently he worked on his spear with a stone. Remembering his job was to not only feed himself, but to entertain the masses, he looked up at Camera One. “Hi, y’all! Good afternoon. I’m going fishing. Hope I’ll be less of an irritable asshole after I’ve eaten. I want to stay my perkiest for y’all. This spear I’m sharpening is going to help me do it. Wait . . . what the f . . .?”
He stopped talking at the sight of the largest wild hog he’d ever seen. The great beast was almost as big as him. And fatter. A whole lot fatter. Foamy drool pooled out of its mouth. Its eyes, little red slits, looked determined to bring a man down. Its tusks, huge and razor sharp, gleamed in the sunlight.
“This kind of animal shouldn’t even be here,” he muttered in amazement. “I know wild hogs are in Florida, but not many are in the Everglades. If at all. How the hell is this happening? The likelihood is practically zero.” Realization, slow and sick, dawned on him. Teleworld had planted the hog here as one of their “extras.” One of their caged, overly aggressive animals, waiting to attack him in the name of high ratings.
Bastards! Were they trying to kill him? Because a loaded gun, aimed point blank, would be no less deadly.
Teleworld had surprised him all right. They’d almost surprised him to death. Or maybe they had killed him. For a second, he swore his heart stopped beating.
Slowly he dropped the sharpening stone and grasped the spear tightly. If he was going to die, it wouldn’t be from fear or shock. He’d die honorably. As a person who stood his ground in the face of adversity. As a man with guts. And as a true sportsman. Game on.
Colin sized up the hog as best he could. “It must weigh close to four hundred pounds,” he marveled. But there was no time to be impressed. Not when the thing wanted to kill him. Or tear off parts of him. Or both.
“Wild hogs are nasty, mean, suckers,” Colin called out to the cameras. “This one looks no different.”
The beast snarled.
“I was wrong,” Colin added. “This one is way worse.”
What should he do? Take a gamble and charge at it? Back away slowly and hope the hog would simply back away, too? Throw a rock at the beast and hope it’d flee, too spooked to fight? None of these outcomes were very likely.
It was time to stop ruminating and start acting. However big and ornery it was, he’d just have to deal with it. He placed the spear in his hand, in fighting position. He knew when hogs attacked, they meant every bit of it. Backing down was not their thing. Then again, backing down was not his thing, either. The hog scraped its hoof back and forth in the sand, like a Spanish bull getting ready to charge a toreador. Shit!
Without taking his eyes off the animal, Colin had a sudden thought. He spoke very calmly and clearly for the benefit of the recording equipment. “I am going to defeat you, pig, because it’s either you or me that’s going down. I don’t know about your love life, but I know about mine. I’ve got a girlfriend I’ve got to get back to, and I mean to do it.”
Stephanie watched the television, her eyelashes framed with tears. This is what Teleworld came up with? An attack by a four hundred pound, angry, tusked, wild hog? Would Colin survive? Even if he did, could she survive watching what was happening to him? What had happened to him, she corrected herself. He could be dead by now. Her heart stilled, missing a beat. She couldn’t bear to think of it. His death. With words of love on his lips.
She was going to kill Mark when all this was done. No. She wasn’t going to jail over that jerk—but she’d go public if Colin didn’t make it out okay. A whistleblower. A reformer. One too late to save Colin. And in essence, herself.
Why had she let Colin talk her into doing this? She was just as bad as Teleworld by letting him undertake this horrendous risk. And for what? A bunch of money? Money couldn’t buy health. Happiness. Or love. Maybe, if Colin made it out alive, she’d kill him, too. After Mark. Jail time be damned.
A wave of nausea washed over her. Fleeing the living room for the bathroom, she dry heaved, her chest racking heavily as she ran.
“Wait!” Ana called out, jumping up after her.
“No,” Stephanie shouted, trying to lock the bathroom door before Ana got there. To no avail. Stephanie hurried to open the lid of the toilet and promptly threw up.
“I knew that was going to happen,” Ana said, holding Stephanie’s hair back with one hand. Ana’s other hand rubbed Stephanie’s back. “Let it all out, Steph. Let it all out.”
Stephanie threw up until she dry heaved again.
Ana tied her hair into a loose knot and reached over to the sink to fill a Dixie cup with water. “Drink this.”
Stephanie took the cup and drank, washing the bitter, bile taste out of her mouth. She handed the cup back to Ana who filled it again and gave it back to Stephanie to drink.
“Better?” Ana asked.
“No.”
“Didn’t think so,” Ana answered, putting toothpaste on Stephanie’s pink toothbrush and handing it to her. “This’ll help.”
“Nothing’s gonna help.”
/> “Don’t underestimate the power of Perfect Teeth Toothpaste, Plus Whitener.”
“Were you this bossy when you worked for me?”
“Sure I was. You’re just too freaked out right now to remember.”
“I don’t want to remember anything. The image I have of a wild hog attacking my boyfriend will be the first to go.”
“As soon as you get to see him again, all this will be a distant memory. Until then, I have his show recording on DVR, and I’m hitting re-wind. Come on, we’re going to face this together.”
“I can’t watch anymore. You watch. Tell me what happens.”
“We’re watching it together,” Ana demanded. “You need to stop assuming the worst. Stop believing everyone you love is going to leave you.”
“Everyone does leave me!”
“No, Steph, they don’t. I understand why you think so. Believe me, I do. But you’re wrong. Your father’s not ‘leaving you.’ He’s sick, honey, and that’s a very different thing.” Ana waved the toothbrush in the air. The glob of paste hung perilously close to the edge of the bristles. “Your dad’s not doing this to hurt you. Or hurt the rest of your family. I know you love him. I know you’ll miss him when his time comes. You’ve told me a million times what a great father he’s been to you. So it would make him sad if he knew you were taking his illness as something he’s doing against you. His illness isn’t about you. It’s about him.”
Stephanie stared back at Ana, blinking in silence. “Maybe you’re right about that. But then what about Freddie?”
“Your ex? You’re talking about your ex-fiancé walking out on you? That does not count. He was a turd.” Ana held out the toothbrush to Stephanie, who absently took it. “I never liked him,” Ana added. “Every time he called up, he sounded more and more like an arrogant asshole. It was getting to the point I was going to say something to you.”
Stephanie carefully placed the toothbrush down, and the glob of paste dripped into the sink. “I’m sorry if he was abusive over the phone. I didn’t know. You shouldn’t have had to put up with that.”
“I’m not sorry for me. I’m sorry for you. Good thing I believe in karma. At least the universe owes you one. Everything’s going to work out fine with Colin. In fact, let’s go see.” Ana walked out of the bathroom, presumably to re-wind the DVR.
Stephanie reached over and squeezed out more toothpaste.
A few minutes later, a red-eyed and clean-mouthed Stephanie sat down on the couch next to Ana.
“You heard what he said about his coming back to you?” Ana asked.
“Yes, I heard.”
“Doesn’t Colin always mean what he says?”
“Yes,” Stephanie admitted.
“Then you should believe him.” Ana held out her hand to Stephanie, and Stephanie held on to it. Ana’s cool, dry hands felt good against Stephanie’s warm, moist ones.
“Thanks, Ana.”
“No problem.” Ana smiled, and reaching over with a free hand to pull out several tissues from the box on the end table, tossed them over to Stephanie. “I’ve got the show re-wound to where we left off. Ready?”
Chapter 29
Stephanie nodded, and Ana pressed ‘play.’ In a flash, Colin was back in her living room.
“No, wait! I’m still too on-edge to watch.”
“Me, too. I can’t stand a handsome man buried underneath a beard. How the heck did he grow one so quickly?”
“It hasn’t been that fast,” Stephanie said, the corner of her lips turned up. “He’s been out there for days. Anyway, I’m going outside for a minute. Before I watch any more of this, I’ll need a little liquid courage.”
“Fine for you, but I don’t need any stimulants. I’m finding Colin’s ‘Smokey the Bear’ look hot after all. He can put out my fire anytime.”
“I’m still in the room, Ana. I can hear you.”
Ana laughed. “You’re buying wine? Great idea. I’ll go with you.”
“Something harder than wine. Vodka, maybe?”
“But you don’t even drink the hard stuff.”
“Today’s the day to start if there ever was one. Wait here. I’ll be back in five minutes. The liquor store is two doors down.” Stephanie grabbed her purse and headed out.
Stepping out of the building, she found herself in the middle of a mob. And the mob was apparently after her.
“Ms. Lang,” several reporters shouted, shoving microphones to her face. “Is it true?”
“Is what true?” Stephanie asked, dazed. Flashes from cameras blinded her eyes as they shot off, creating a strobe light effect.
“Is it true Colin Brandt’s your boyfriend? Are you the one he mentioned on his show?”
“Err . . .”
Another reporter shot out, “Is it true you also sleep with aliens?”
“What? Are you—?”
“And that your ex is Donald Trump?”
Stephanie let out an exasperated breath and was about to say, “Why, yes, I’ve slept with Donald Trump,” when a young female reporter, without waiting for any of the answers, started speaking into a camera. “Ms. Stephanie Lang, former Teleworld producer, does not deny she is the girlfriend of Colin Brandt, star of Teleworld’s current hit show, The Evergladiator.”
Stephanie gathered all her internal strength and took a deep breath. It was time to take action. It was bad enough to have to passively watch his show. She was not going to be a participant in the circus that ensued. Other than watching Colin, she was done with all things Teleworld. Including publicity. Especially when her involvement could cost Colin his prize money, because it’d only be a matter of time before people accused them of being in cahoots, rigging the show somehow for him to win.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Stephanie spoke up, using her best business voice. “I have not been involved with aliens. On this, or any other, planet. Nor have I been involved with Mr. Trump.”
One reporter took notes, while the others continued to hold their microphones out at her.
These guys are serious about their stupid questions. Unbelievable. “As for my relationship with Mr. Brandt,” Stephanie continued, “it was purely professional, and very brief, because I no longer work for Teleworld. While it was great to work with him, the only involvement I currently have with him is wishing him well as he competes. And, of course, my watching The Evergladiator, along with the rest of America.” She gave them a broad smile that threatened to crack her face. “I trust I’ve answered all of your questions, and I wish each of you a pleasant evening.”
The female reporter dropped the mike she was holding down to her waist. “That’s all you’re going to say? That will kill our story.
“Sorry,” Stephanie chirped, walking away. “I know how hard it is to produce a really interesting show. Good luck, guys.” Almost at the corner, ready to turn into the store, she heard the camera crews pack up. Maybe they were headed somewhere else in search of Colin’s girlfriend.
Stephanie smiled to herself. Yep. Still got it. She’d enjoy a shot or two of vodka with Ana, watch the show, see that Colin was safe, and then maybe she and Ana could head out to a late-night dinner.
She couldn’t believe she almost made tomorrow’s news, and probably E! Entertainment, as well. Television is a bunch of bull.
Colin bent down to the ground without once taking his eyes off the huge hog or putting down the spear. He felt around for his six-inch knife, the one the show allowed him to bring. He thanked the stars above he had these weapons. Too bad he didn’t have the bola within reach, too. He blocked out the image of it lying in a corner of his lean-to, on the floor. Grabbing the knife, he rose up slowly. When he was at full height, he holstered the blade between the back of his jeans and his leather belt and tightened his grip on the spear.
The hog bellowed louder and scrambled up on its massive legs with terrifying speed. Colin felt time, and his heart, momentarily pause. He mouthed a prayer—and a curse—then noticed something about the pig. It had a branch hanging horizontally out of its flesh. Colin squinted, afraid to lift a hand to block the sunlight. Movement could further infuriate the animal.
A moment later, he could tell it wasn’t a branch that was stuck to the hog, it was the spear that was stuck in the hog. Tell that to the hog, though, because it was showing no signs of slowing down. And it was mad.
The hog leaped at him. Colin lunged behind a tree. The speared hog, apparently either dizzy from a steady blood loss or the shock of being injured, or both, rammed its massive head into the trunk of the large cedar. It bellowed and backed up, ready to lung again. Colin grabbed the tree trunk, used a low branch as a foothold, and hoisted himself about five feet up. Balancing on two strong branches, he crouched like a panther into position. He reached for the back of his belt and pulled out his knife. “Showtime,” he shouted and leapt down on the hog with the blade in hand.
