Naive Awakening

by Cathy Williams

  Leigh looked questioningly at Nicholas, feeling very much like one of the serving staff whose fate lay in the hands of the master of the house.

  ‘Tomorrow?’ he asked.

  ‘That’ll be fine.’ Do I have a choice? she added silently.

  ‘I’ll be in all morning, so I can show you the ropes, and then you can take it from there.’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘But what about Freddie?’ Sir John looked at him fondly. ‘Won’t you miss not seeing the sights with your sister?’

  Freddie grinned. ‘Hardly. Besides, I could always go with you.’

  ‘Me?’ Sir John looked horrified. ‘Doctor’s orders, son. I’m afraid the outdoor life is a thing of the past for an old man like me. Well, I think it’s downright rude to drag this poor child off to work so soon after she’s arrived. We’ve hardly had any time to renew our friendship. It’s rare enough that I find someone who doesn’t treat me like a half-wit. As some people tend to do.’

  There was a little silence, then Nicholas said in a restrained voice, ‘I hope this isn’t leading where I think it is, Grandfather.’

  ‘Leading?’ Sir John looked innocently at his grandson, whose face was a mixture of frustration and impatience. ‘Where on earth could it be leading?’

  Nicholas sighed and looked very much as though he would have liked to conclude the conversation but was prevented from doing so out of a sense of respect for his grandfather.

  ‘I’m sure Leigh and Freddie don’t want to be bored by all this,’ he finally said in a heavy voice.

  ‘By all what?’ Freddie asked, helping himself to two more slices of bread.

  Sir John leaned conspiratorially towards him. ‘Nicholas and I disagree on a certain lady,’ he said. ‘A certain Lady Jessica who treats me like an outpatient from the local mental institution.’

  ‘Grandfather!’ Nicholas warned.

  Leigh wanted to laugh out loud. She would never have believed that Nicholas could ever look anything but controlled, but right now he was looking decidedly uncomfortable.

  ‘Well, she does,’ Sir John complained. ‘She talks as though I’m deaf and senile. One of these days I almost expect her to waltz through the front door with a nurse in tow. Leigh doesn’t talk to me as though I’m deaf and senile.’ He looked fondly at her. ‘I remember you when you were a tiny lass,’ he mused, ‘running about with your pigtails and not a care in the world.’

  ‘I remember running about and pigtails,’ she grinned, ‘and it wasn’t that long ago.’

  Nicholas stood up abruptly. ‘Well, I really have no time for these charming reminiscences.’

  ‘Do you remember Leigh, son? You two used to play together sometimes.’

  Leigh gave him a saccharine-sweet smile and he frowned heavily at her. Lord, she thought, how nice to see him cornered for once.

  He thrust his hands into his pockets and said, ‘Vaguely, yes.’

  ‘Old Jacob and I—well, old men dream, don’t they?’ Sir John continued wistfully, ignoring his grandson’s discomfort. ‘Anyway…’ He shook himself out of his reverie and looked fondly at her. ‘If you’re planning on starting work tomorrow, and there’s no way that I can talk you out of it, at least do me the honour of visiting London on my behalf, and I would be delighted if you would make full use of my Harrods chargecard. I know what you’re going to say’ he waved aside her protests ‘—but it would make an old man happy.’

  ‘I really can’t,’ Leigh began awkwardly, aware that Nicholas was watching their interchange with sharp interest.

  ‘Please. For me. I know if the positions had been reversed, Jacob would have done the same for my grandson.’

  ‘But they’re not, are they?’ Nicholas observed smoothly.

  ‘Nicholas,’ Sir John said firmly, ‘allow an old man his indulgences.’

  He looked questioningly at Leigh and she nodded in resignation.

  ‘Leigh, can I see you for a minute before I leave?’ Nicholas said acidly.

  A warm wave of colour stole over her face. She knew what he wanted, and she was already on the defensive as she followed him into the hall.

  He flicked open his briefcase, scanned some papers, then shut it and faced her.

  ‘So,’ he bit out, ‘would you like to explain what all that was about?’

  ‘All what?’ she asked faintly. She could feel that unaccustomed fluttering inside which made her almost want to step backwards—like someone standing too close to a fire.

  ‘What exactly do you take me for? A complete fool?’

  ‘Is it my fault that your grandfather is fond of me?’ she asked helplessly. There was no point in pretending that she had no idea what he was talking about. If his tone of voice wasn’t explicit enough, she could feel the accusations burning in his cold grey eyes.

  ‘No,’ Nicholas agreed coolly, ‘it’s not your fault that my grandfather is fond of you, but I’m highly dubious of the manner you have of returning that affection.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, do you normally return affection by accepting someone’s chargecard?’

  His pale eyes bored into her until she felt dizzy from the effort of trying to think straight.

  ‘Of course not!’ she snapped.

  ‘Is that because the opportunity has never arisen?’

  ‘How dare you?’

  ‘Spare me the histrionics, please.’

  ‘Only if you spare me the constant insults!’ she retorted, her colour high.

  ‘Oh, do forgive me,’ he said with effusive sarcasm, ‘how could I even dream of it? I mean, here you are, in the lap of luxury, thanks to my dear grandfather, and now in happy possession of an unlimited bank balance. How unusual that it might have crossed my mind that you may just be taking advantage of his fondness for you.’

  ‘I’m not doing anything of the sort,’ Leigh objected. Put like that, though, she could well see his point of view and she blushed guiltily.

  ‘But I see from the expression on your face that you get the general drift of what I’m saying?’

  He doesn’t miss a thing, does he? she thought angrily. Except in this instance, he was way off target—not that there was much chance of convincing him of that. He had not wanted her around in the first place so why should he suddenly decide now to give her the benefit of the doubt?

  ‘That doesn’t mean that you’re right,’ she muttered, unable to summon up much conviction in her voice.

  ‘I’m merely looking at the facts and drawing logical conclusions from what I see.’

  ‘And you’re never wrong?’

  She stared at him with antagonism and as he looked back down at her she suddenly felt her pulse begin to race. She edged fractionally away from him, disturbed at her reaction to his nearness. He was treating her with despicable arrogance, she told herself in horror, yet here I am acting as though he’s about to kiss me.

  ‘Very rarely,’ he said silkily. He leaned against the banister and continued to stare at her.

  ‘Well, what a fortunate person you are to go through life with such certainty that you can’t put a foot wrong,’ she bit out. ‘I pity that poor girlfriend of yours. I can’t imagine what she sees in someone as cold and as clinical as you!’

  She stopped, aghast at what she had just said.

  ‘Can’t you?’ he asked softly. He suddenly reached out and stroked the side of her face, an action which assumed the proportion of deep intimacy, and gave a low laugh.

  Leigh jerked back, her head spinning at the warmth that had spread through her body at his touch. She knew what he was trying to prove. She might be from the back of beyond, a country girl with no experience in the guiles of high city life, but that didn’t mean she was an idiot. Oh, no. That careless gesture was his lazy way of informing her without words that the female sex was more than satisfied with what he could provide.

  And she was furious because he had elicited precisely the sort of reaction from her that he had no doubt expected to. She had flinch
ed as though burnt, and she knew that she was breathing quickly, painfully.

  His fingers trailed along her collarbone then spiralled down towards the shadowy valley between her breasts, and her breath caught in her throat. Under her blouse, her breasts felt suddenly heavy. She wanted him to go further, she thought with dismay, and she drew back in horror, but his hand had already left her body and was now safely ensconced in the pockets of his trousers.

  ‘I suppose you think that was funny,’ she said, trying to control the tremor in her voice. ‘Well, you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t appreciate those sort of urbane city games!’

  She folded her arms protectively across her chest, an unconscious gesture which made him raise one eyebrow in amusement.

  ‘What sort of games do you prefer?’

  ‘I prefer honesty between people,’ she said in a raised voice. ‘And I prefer trust.’ She was trembling, and she clenched her fists tightly, determined to draw this conversation away from the personal. Next to his unexpected onslaught of manipulated charm, his arrogance was like a breath of fresh air.

  ‘I’m not taking advantage of Sir John,’ she repeated, feeling immediately safer now that the lines of hostility were redrawn between them. ‘I have no intention of using his chargecard. I accepted because it was offered in a generous spirit, and to have refused would have been unnecessarily churlish. That doesn’t mean that I’m about to go on a wild spending spree!’

  ‘You might as well avail yourself of it,’ Nicholas informed her in a vaguely bored tone of voice.

  He’s said his piece, she thought sourly, he’s played his little game, and now he can’t wait to get to work. His boredom threshold with me must be remarkably small.

  She had a sudden vision of Lady Jessica, with her haughty elegance. She doubted that he tired of her with such speed. They lived in the same world. He could probably spend all the hours God made in her company. Well, she thought, I’m damn well not going to vanish just because he’s suddenly decided that he wants to be on his way.

  ‘What do you mean I might as well avail myself of it?’ she asked frozenly.

  ‘Well,’ he said, scanning her slender frame with embarrassing thoroughness, ‘you’ll have to invest in some more clothes.’

  ‘What?’ She looked at him blankly. What was wrong with her clothes?

  ‘Clothes,’ he said, enunciating his words carefully, as though he were speaking to someone hard of hearing. ‘You’ll have to buy some more.’

  Leigh felt a spurt of anger. Not only had he seen fit to blackmail her down here, but he was now dictating to her what she could and could not wear!

  ‘Why?’ she asked abruptly. ‘What’s wrong with my clothes?’

  ‘They’re charming,’ he drawled, with infuriating calm, ‘but they’re not nearly businesslike enough for your job in Chambers.’

  ‘You can’t tell me what I should wear,’ she said mutinously.

  ‘I can and I do.’ His voice was low and smooth and faintly dangerous. ‘Don’t forget, you work for me now.’

  ‘And you’re determined to extract every ounce of blood.’

  ‘Can you blame me?’

  The grey eyes stared down at her, not releasing her from their hypnotic hold, and it struck her again how easy it was to understand the speed with which he had climbed in his profession. There was something ruthless about him, which could just as quickly give way to that seductive charm which he had exercised on her for his own private amusement. She had not liked it, but, much as she loathed to admit it, he had proved his point admirably.

  ‘Blame you?’ she asked innocently. ‘How could I even think of doing that when you’re never wrong?’

  This time there was genuine enjoyment in his eyes when he laughed. It transformed the contours of his face from cold arrogance to warm sensuousness, and Leigh turned away abruptly.

  ‘If I don’t see you later,’ he informed her, reaching for his briefcase, ‘I’ll see you in Chambers tomorrow. I have a very early appointment so you’ll have to make your own way there.’ He gave her brief, clipped instructions of how to get there, and she nodded, frantically hoping that she would remember what he had said, be-cause she knew that he had no intention of repeating himself.

  She spent the rest of the day in Knightsbridge trying to put the disturbing image of Nicholas to the back of her mind. It kept popping up, though. In between the clothes rails, in the changing-rooms, at the coffee-bar in the store. Like an unwelcome virus, she thought ill-humouredly.

  Still, she managed to get some shopping done. The minimum, because, despite Nicholas’s bored permission, she could not bring herself to spend someone else’s money liberally. Her pride was too strong for that. So she invested in some items of clothing that could be mixed and matched, and which looked relatively smart.

  And if he doesn’t think they’re suitable, she thought as she nervously dressed for work the following morning, then he could go take a running jump from the nearest very high bridge. The thought brought a smile to her lips which lasted all the way in to work, and only gave way to that sick, nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach when she made it to the office.

  Nicholas was nowhere around, and she allowed herself to be taken in hand by one of the clerks, her brain working overtime as she frantically followed everything he told her, only asking questions when absolutely necessary.

  ‘You’ll do,’ the older man said with a smile, as she returned from the law library in the Chambers with an armful of reference books.

  ‘Will I?’ Leigh asked anxiously, and he gave her a re-assuring nod.

  She expelled a long sigh of grateful relief and grinned. He couldn’t begin to know how much his confidence in her abilities meant to her. This was no ordinary job. This was a job in which she would prove her efficiency if it killed her in the process. There was no way that Nicholas was going to have the dubious satisfaction of dismissing her on grounds of incompetence.

  By the end of the day, she felt pleasantly tired, but as the rest of her colleagues began heading for the door she shook her head with a laugh.

  ‘You’ve all got a head start on me,’ she pointed out with a smile. ‘I need to work some overtime so that I don’t slow you all down.’

  ‘Not such a bad idea,’ Frank, the old man who had shown her the ropes agreed. ‘Nicholas might be all sunshine and light with you out of work, but in here he’s a hard taskmaster. He never stops and he never expects anyone to either.’

  Leigh grinned feebly at him. Sunshine and light? What a joke. There was more sunshine and light in the Arctic on a cold winter night.

  She watched them depart, and then refocused her attention on the workload, only looking up when the outer door opened with a click.

  Nicholas was the last person she was expecting. She had seen nothing of him all day, and she had blissfully assumed that he would not be putting in an appearance at all. So her eyes widened in shock as she took in his tall, powerful body framed in the doorway.

  ‘Still here?’ he asked, striding into the room, which suddenly seemed to have become alarmingly claustrophobic.

  Leigh ventured a light laugh. ‘There’s a lot to learn,’ she said vaguely.

  ‘You should try it from where I’m standing,’ he replied grimly, raking his fingers wearily through his hair. ‘Come into my office,’ he said, walking through and expecting her to follow. She rose quickly and trailed behind him, wishing now that she had left slightly earlier.

  The office felt even more claustrophobic than the outside room. He seemed to dwarf it with his presence. She watched as he strolled towards the window and stared absent-mindedly down into the street below.

  You look as though you’ve had one hell of a day, she wanted to say.

  ‘I’m thoroughly enjoying the job so far,’ she volunteered, to break the silence, and he turned to face her.

  ‘Something of a change from your job at the library?’ he asked.

  ‘Slightly,’ Leigh agreed. ‘Although I don’t seem
to have escaped the presence of books.’

  ‘Been running to and from the reference library?’

  ‘Something like that.’

  ‘Sorry I wasn’t around today,’ he began, perching on his desk, and rubbing his eyes with his fingers. ‘In this business, things don’t always go according to plan.’

  ‘That’s quite all right,’ Leigh said hurriedly, ‘Frank has been more than helpful.’ There was a short silence. ‘Perhaps you ought to go home,’ Leigh finally suggested. ‘You look as though bed’s the best place for you at the moment.’

  ‘Depends on who’s in it with me,’ Nicholas murmured lazily, and she blushed. ‘Actually,’ he continued in a brisker voice, ‘I have to clear a few things up here. How much longer are you going to be? I can give you a lift back.’

  ‘A lift?’

  ‘In the car.’

  ‘Sure,’ she said with a sinking feeling, ‘a lift back in the car. That sounds great. I’ll be another half-hour or so, but don’t worry if you want to stay longer. It’s no problem. I’m quite capable of making the journey back on the Underground.’

  His eyes narrowed on her. ‘Anyone would think that you were trying to avoid my company,’ he drawled. ‘Half an hour will be fine. Now, I have a list of files I need you to dig up for the first thing tomorrow morning.’ He pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to her. ‘Do you think you can handle that?’

  ‘I think so,’ she responded sweetly. ‘I don’t suppose I need a degree in nuclear physics to find my way round a filing system.’

  Something like amusement flashed across his face, without actually surfacing into a smile.

  She stood up, ready to leave before this unexpected truce between them was broken.

  ‘I see you did some shopping,’ he commented, stretching back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head.

  Leigh glanced down at her outfit self-consciously. It was a simple straight skirt in a grey-blue colour which she had worn with a man’s styled pin-striped shirt. Not the sort of thing that she was accustomed to wearing, but then, as he had more or less pointed out, a library in Yorkshire was hardly the same thing as Chambers in London.

  She waited for the inevitable sarcasm, the reinstatement of cold war.