The Amour series (Book 2): The Ashes of Amour

by Coushatta LaRue

  The air inside was thick and moldy. The smell was worse. Abby wanted to throw up her food. Pooch growled at the darkness of the hallways. Light shined through the windows and Abby could see more men inside. They collected more bodies and supplies. They walked down another hallway until they came to a large open area. Abby saw Jessie following Ava and Rodgers.

  They walked down a short hall and Abby heard Jessie scream. Evan ran forward but Abby walked slowly. She came to the

  hands. Abby stared at it and then looked at him. His face was grim. Abby could hear Jessie crying.

  When she walked in she could smell the virus before she saw him. It was a breakroom. The table was knocked over and chairs were tossed around the room. Dry blood was on the walls and in

  a pool of his own blood. Jessie was on her knees in front of him crying as he held her in a bloody arm.

  He looked up at Abby and she saw the look of the Undead in his eyes. She did not know how she knew but she knew he was turning.

  “No. Fuck,” Evan cursed, “This is bullshit.”

  Evan went up to him and kneeled. He placed a hand onto Kevin’s shoulder. Abby slowly walked up to him and stared down at his chest. His bites had been patched up but Abby smelt the infection spreading. She knew Jessie did too.

  “You need to hurry,” Ava said looking at Abby, “It could be any time.”

  Abby looked at what was in Ava’s hand. It was a handgun. Evan

  “No.” Evan snapped, “What if he isn’t turning? Jessie didn’t!”

  Abby looked at Kevin. Kevin’s face was pale and wet. His lips shaky and his breathing raspy. He was covered in his own blood. Jessie sobbed as Kevin tried to calm her. Abby looked at the handgun then at Evan’s mad expression.

  “He could be okay!” Evan snapped.

  “He isn’t.” Abby said.

  Evan stared at her and he looked back at Kevin then at her.

  There was tears in his eyes. His face was turning red and he laughed angrily.

  “How do you know that?” Evan turned around to look at Kevin, “You don’t know that!”

  “We do,” Jessie said through a sob.

  Evan looked at her and Jessie turned to look at him. There was

  and pain.

  “How?” He asked shaking.

  “We just do.” Jessie cried as she turned back to her father. “Daddy,” She whimpered.

  “I’m sorry baby.” Kevin coughed, “I didn’t mean for this to

  happen. But, I need you to go with Evan and Abby. They will keep you safe.”

  Abby cringed and her wounds ached.

  Jessie cried and went to hug him but he held her away. He rubbed her cheeks with his only non-bloody hand. He gave her a weak smile.

  “Please no. Dad left me... you can’t leave me too. Please” She begged.

  “I’ll always watch over you.” He told her.

  “But, You and dad didn’t believe in Heaven.” Jessie said sadly.

  Kevin frowned at that then wiped tears from her face.

  “Wherever I go I promise I will always be here. In some way or another. You will never be alone.” He told her. He pulled her close and gave her a kiss, “I love you Jessie.”

  “No,” She sobbed, “No daddy please.”

  Kevin held her then moved her away.

  Jessie stared at him and stood up suddenly as she gasped for air.

  said crying, “Never.”

  Kevin stared at her with wide eyes but could not say anything. “I love you.” She cried as she turned around and ran out of the

  room.

  Abby’s heart sank. Evan stood there silently then walked over to Kevin and knelt.

  “I’m sorry Kevin.” He whispered.

  “Thank you for your help Evan,” Kevin smiled weakly then he coughed violently, he cleared his throat then said, “Keep them safe.”

  Evan squeezed Kevin’s shoulder then stood up.

  Evan walked over to Ava and went to take the handgun but Abby stopped him. Evan looked at her with an angry stare then

  and Evan nodded wordlessly. Evan left the room and Ava took in a breath.

  Abby took the gun from her and stared at Ava. There was a look in her eyes that gave Abby a wound on her heart.

  “I wish this had not happened.” Ava said.

  Ava looked over at Kevin then saluted. She walked out of the room leaving the two. Abby walked over to Kevin slowly then sat in front of him. She gritted her teeth and stared at the gun in her hands.

  “Do you feel it burning through your blood? Poisoning your lungs? Clawing at your throat as it kills every part of you?” Abby spoke slowly and then looked at him with set eyes as she continued, “I felt it too. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to die. But, death never came. And I just had to sit there and feel it every day and night. Like a knife under my skin slowly moving through my body.”

  “It never ends. Even now Jessie complains of the aches.” Kevin started with a weak tone, “It’s like death would be peace.”

  Abby looked into his eyes and she felt tears come to hers.

  “It’s so hard,” She cried, “I just want it to stop. Just to stop. But, I keep going because even though I think we have no chance there is this voice. This tiny little voice that says, maybe just maybe you will make it. That it will get better and I will be okay. And I’m so scared that someday something will kill that voice.”

  “That I will kill that voice.” She choked.

  Abby felt tears roll down her cheeks and she laughed sadly.

  “I’m sorry. Here I am complaining when you’re dying.”

  “We’re all going to die someday Abby. Today is just my day.” Kevin smiled, “That voice will only die if you truly let it. You’re the only one who can keep it going. Even if you don’t believe it. You are strong Abby. You have to believe it. Or hell just fake it.”

  Abby stared at him for a while and looked back at the gun in her hands.

  “You either want to live or not,” He continued, “It’s hard Abby. But life is only as hard as you allow it to be. You may not have much but take what you have known and make it the best. I know the pain you feel is more than just physical. More than just from

  Abby looked at him as tears rolled down her cheeks. He was crying too.

  “You aren’t perfect,” He smiled with death in his kind eyes, “But, you have a lot to give. Remember that.”

  she smiled.

  “Promise me that you will keep her safe.”

  though.”

  Kevin nodded his head and pressed his bloody lips together. “That’s fair enough.” He said before coughing violently into his

  hands.

  He stared at the black blood in his palms and laughed. “I’m ready.” He said.

  Abby stared at him then at the gun. She stood and gave Kevin a

  long painful look before he smiled at her. Abby pointed the gun at him then looked outside and saw the beautiful sky. It was snowing.

  Then she slowly turned around and looked in Abby’s direction. Abby stared at her and Ava stared back. Then a red bird landed

  She walked away. Abby listened to Kevin’s raspy breath and slowly looked at him. Tears swelled in her eyes. The smell of rot was burning her nose and the taste of fear poisoned her. Kevin’s eyes were turning milky white as he stared at her.

  Abby pointed the gun at his head and gritted her teeth. She thought about how dirty her hair felt on her shoulders and smiled sadly. Kevin’s lips parted and he smiled weakly. He nodded. Abby pulled the trigger and she did not look away. Blood splattered the wall behind him and his body fell over.

  Abby breathed and let out a painful gasp. She closed her eyes and cried. A hand touched hers and she opened them startled. It was Rodgers. He was staring at her with sorrow in his eyes. He took the gun away from her. Three men walked in behind him and started towards Kevin’s body. They had a white sheet and started to wrap him in it.

  “He’ll be burned too.” Rodgers said softly, “Just to be safe.
” Abby nodded as a tear rolled down her pale cheek. She walked back outside and looked for Jessie or Evan. A man

  in full armor pointed down the building. Abby walked that way and found herself in a small park that had a playground. Men walked around her and she stared at Jessie. She sat on a swing

  back at the armed men.

  She walked to Jessie and stared at the snow around her. Abby came to the swing and shook. Sitting down on a swing she stared

  of the people behind her and looked down at Jessie. Her face was pale and her eyes were red. Her face was of a ghost.

  “He is gone.” Jessie said quietly.

  “Yes Jessie.” Abby replied.

  Jessie nodded and swallowed hard.

  gave her a long look, then hugged her.

  “Thank you.” Jessie whispered, “Thank you.”

  She let go of Abby and ran away. Abby watched her run towards

  the armed men. Abby turned away and stared at her hands. They were shaking. A shadow appeared behind her and someone sat down by her. Abby knew it was Evan. Pooch waddled around his feet then whimpered to get into Abby’s lap. Abby picked her up and kissed her.

  popped and cracked. Abby could hear Evan’s heart beating in his chest.

  “I’m so scared,” Abby started as her voice cracked, “I’m so fucking scared.”

  Evan looked at her and she looked at him with eyes full of tears.

  “I’m tired of pretending I’m stronger than I am. I’m not brave.” She told him crying, “I just.” Her voice caught in her throat, “I just want it to stop.”

  “I could easily make it stop but I don’t. Because I’m scared to. There’s this little voice there telling me that if I just stay. If I just try,” She breathed, “Then something good will come. That I will be what I feel I can. What I dream I am.”

  She looked at Evan.

  “What if that voice is wrong? What if it is just more pain and failure to come?” She cried.

  Evan opened his mouth then closed it as he stared at her with just how handsome he was. Even with the scars he was beautiful. Evan looked away for a second then back at her. His face was chiseled and his cheeks high. Eyes perfect.

  “I prayed last night Abby. Kevin was a good man. He was a good father. Now he is gone and for what?” Evan said his voice deep and pained, “It isn’t fair. I sometimes wonder if I am wrong about God. Why has he let this happen? How could he?”

  Evan rubbed his mouth and held back tears.

  “No,” Abby said trying to sound stronger than she felt, “Don’t do that. Don’t let this rotting world turn you away from your faith. Don’t let it do that.”

  “You don’t even believe in God Abby.”

  “That doesn’t matter. I know what it is like to be shaken so badly that you feel numb inside. To where you want to give up on everything. I feel that right now.” She began, “I want to give up on myself. I don’t believe in myself Evan.”

  Tears fell from her red eyes as he looked at her again.

  “I don’t know what’s going to happen,” She choked on tears, “I don’t believe in myself and it scares me more than anything. I know I need to be strong and not let myself drown in this. I am the only one that can tell myself how to feel and I need to love myself. Need to believe I can. I don’t know what is going to happen but I know I need to try.”

  Abby looked away from him and brushed Pooch’s’ fur with her

  “I can’t lose faith in myself even though I fear I have. You can’t lose faith in your God either. I think…” She paused, “What if that voice is right Evan? What if it does get better? I can’t let this destroy me. Even when all I want is for it to stop. I have to believe. I want to believe in myself.”

  She swallowed hard and took in a long breath then she added, “We’re all going to die. But that doesn’t mean I should die today. That does not mean we should give up.”

  Evan pulled her swing close and hugged her. She held him tightly and cried. She could feel him crying too.

  “I want to believe there is a better tomorrow but I don’t know how Abby.” He sobbed.

  “I know Evan,” She replied, “I know.”

  Evan pulled away and rubbed tears from her face and she did the same for him. She touched his scars and smiled sadly.

  “I can’t promise I will protect you or bring you to safety because I can’t promise myself that. But, I will try. I know we deserve that.” She told him softly, “We do. We all do.”

  “Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that?” He laughed.

  She laughed with him.

  “Hey,” A voice came from behind them.

  with bright green eyes. His name badge on his armored vest said, John Samson.

  “We are leaving in twenty. You are needed at the convoy.” John said kindly.

  Abby stood with Pooch wrapped in her arms. Evan stood by her and they walked together with John.

  -Chapter nineteen

  Abby watched the armored trucks and cars pull out of the clinic and buildings around them. They sped down the highway. Marines raced around putting supplies in their vehicles. Abby stood by the med van and looked around wondering what they were to do. John stood with them and two other Marines.

  “Hey,” Abby touched John’s arm.

  “Yes?” He asked looking back with a raised eyebrow. “I need to use the bathroom.” She frowned.

  Abby started towards them and Evan followed. Jessie was with them again and held Abby’s hand. Abby looked down at her and smiled. Jessie did not return the smile but she did not frown. They walked around the van and saw four port-a-pottys. Abby smiled.

  “They really have everything.” Evan smirked.

  Abby walked towards one and opened the door. Jessie looked in.

  “Do you need to go?” She asked Jessie.

  Jessie nodded.

  Jessie entered the potty and Abby went into another while Evan went into another one. The potty was cleaner than she expected it to be. After she relieved herself she examined the gauze around her wounds. Touching it she noticed it felt warm. She stood up and left the bathroom and saw Jessie standing there. She was watching Pooch dig in the snow with a forlorn expression.

  “Jessie,” Abby said softy.

  Jessie looked up with red eyes then looked behind Abby.

  piles. Abby looked back at her and grimaced. Jessie pressed her

  “It’s what he would have wanted,” Jessie said sadly.

  Before Abby could speak Evan stepped out of his stall and looked at them. A Marine walked up to them with baby wipes and Abby forced a smile. After they wiped their hands they followed him past moving trucks. They wandered around a burning pile.

  and snorted.

  Abby could see Ava standing near some trucks as others pulled away. The city behind her was still burning. Marines surrounded her like bees protecting their queen. Her expression was cold yet

  worst thing she had ever seen. Rodgers stood by her drinking

  They stopped right behind the large SUV and Rodgers walked to them. He wore an armored vest but not one as heavy as the Marines. He also did not wear a mask like the rest. Neither did Ava. She wore simple black pants, black long sleeved shirt, a

  and a handgun on her side. Abby could see the outline of a knife under her pants above her combat boots.

  Abby wondered if she wore so little protection because she did not care if she died or if she thought she could not.

  “Are you okay?” Rodgers asked looking down at Jessie.

  She did not answer.

  Rodgers nodded and looked back at Ava. He put his hand into the air and twisted his hand around.

  “Alright everyone out!” He ordered.

  Marines scrambled to get into vehicles. A few stayed with them. Ava turned towards them and stared at Abby with a strained look.

  pointing at the SUV behind them.

  She started towards the driver’s seat.

  “Wait,” Evan said, Ava looked at him, “Where are we going?�
� Ava narrowed her eyes with irritation before she said, “To

  Autumn Haven.”

  “We’ll be right behind you.” Rodgers said nodding to Ava. She looked at him then he walked away with four of the Marines.

  They got into a truck. A Marine walked to the passenger’s side of the SUV and got inside. One opened the back door and sat in the back of the SUV. Abby looked at Jessie and Jessie shrugged. Jessie got into the SUV.

  Abby picked up Pooch and looked at her little face. Pooch squinted her eyes. Evan walked around the SUV and sat next to

  down Abby looked at Ava and the ring around her neck. “Are you ready?” Ava asked quietly as she looked back at Abby. Ava stepped back almost nervously when she noticed Abby

  staring at the ring. Then she looked at Abby with that strained look again and turned away. Ava got into the car and Abby slid

  started the car. Abby held Pooch in her arms as they started on the highway. Evan was looking at Abby.

  His eyes were brighter today and his scars looked smaller even though they weren’t. There seemed to be excitement under the worriedness in his expression. Abby looked back and stared at the Marine in the gas mask then out the back window. It was grew smaller and after a while all she could see was black smoke.

  not stop thinking about how quickly things could go horribly wrong. Yet her sense of security was slowly rising. She stared back forward and petted Pooch. Abby saw Ava glancing at her and then she looked away. The fear of another let down grew inside of her belly.

  “So, what exactly are ya’ll?” Evan asked disturbing the silence. Ava looked back at him in the mirror but stayed silent.

  “We’re the military of the new world.” The man in the passenger seat said through his mask, “But, you don’t have to be scared.”

  “I’m not.” Evan replied annoyed.

  The Marine in the gas mask shifted in his seat.

  “You just go around killing the Undead and burning them?” Evan asked crossing his arms.

  “Something like that.” The Marine replied.

  trust them. Abby could understand why and she almost felt the same. If it was not for Jessie seeming to know who they were she would not have trusted them. Maybe not even have gone with them.