The Amour series (Book 2): The Ashes of Amour

by Coushatta LaRue

  Abby stepped forward feeling her head spin. She did not know who it was from or what it was. Yet she felt nauseated. The Marine handed the paper to her and he smiled. Abby forced a smile and nodded slowly. She turned from him and walked back to the window. She saw a couple on bikes happily laughing together outside.

  Abby gritted her teeth as she unfolded the paper. Her heart was pounding wondering what bad news it was. Her heart stopped as she read the words. It did not make any sense. It was written in a panic clearly and a word was misspelled. Suddenly Abby realized who had written the paper.

  “Jessie!” Abby shouted as she looked at the Marine and back at the paper. She touched the writing that was in blue crayon.

  “What is this?” She turned to the Marine breathing hard, “What the hell is this?”

  The Marine stepped back almost defenselessly. He shrugged and lowered his head apologetically.

  “They found it on your dog when you came here.” He told her pointing at Pooch.

  “What?” Abby narrowed her eyes annoyed.

  “It was in her shirt.” He explained, “I’m sorry they did not give it to you sooner. But, they were worried.”

  “Worried? What the hell do you mean worried? My friends are alive!” She screamed.

  He stepped back and half smiled then said, “Well it does not mean they are. They could have died right after-“

  “Did they go look for bodies?” She said angrily, “Did they go back? Did they?”

  He nodded.

  “Well?” She growled raising her head. Pooch growled more as she stood up glaring at the Marine.

  “They did and found many bodies.” He replied sharply.

  pounding in her chest as her skin crawled. The Marine pressed his lips together and his dark eyes looked at her with slight annoyance. But, when he spoke it was with kindness.

  “No. They did not. Some of the bodies were too badly burned to know.” He explained

  “They weren’t burnt.” Abby said throwing her hands into the air, “They could be alive. Why didn’t anyone show me this?”

  “They could be but we don’t know. You were sick and there was nothing you could do anyway.” He said sharply.

  Abby glared at him and laughed angrily, “I could have done something!”

  “No. You could not have.” He snapped.

  Abby stepped back almost feeling wounded. Her bite wounds were throbbing and her shoulder felt heavy. Abby looked down for a moment then back at the Marine. He seemed a bit sad and frowned.

  “I would like to talk to Ava,” Abby said her voice weakened, “Please.”

  The Marine studied her for a moment and sighed.

  “It isn’t a good idea. The doctors want you here.” He started then he paused and looked at her for a moment then said, “I think a short walk would not be too bad. You need clothes though.”

  The Marine looked at her fuzzy socks she had on and then at her thin blue dress. Suddenly she felt naked. Cheeks turning red she stepped back and looked towards the bathroom. She had no real clothes. All they gave her were socks and the dress they replaced daily.

  “I’ll go get some.” He told her with a small smile.

  Abby nodded and walked to her bed. When he left she sat at the edge of her bed staring at the paper in her hands. She felt light-headed and nervous. Many emotions spun in her mind. Was it possible. Were they alive? If so, why hadn’t they made it to Haven yet? What had happened? Abby closed her eyes and held back tears.

  -Chapter twenty three

  The thought of them being dead was something she avoided. Yet she knew it was a possibility even as she tried to convince herself it wasn’t true. Deep down a little voice kept telling her that they were okay. Soon the door opened again and Abby expected the doctors yet the Marine stood there. He had a bag with him.

  He placed it onto the bed and opened it.

  “I don’t know if these are the right sizes but I think they will do.” He said in a hushed voice.

  “Thank you,” Abby said quietly as she took the clothes from the bag. She entered the large bathroom. It had a tub and a walk in shower. There was a lounge chair she sat on after she showered. Next to it was a marble counter with fresh towels and bathroom supplies.

  The sink held beauty supplies that Abby was happy to have.

  they gave her. But, she never was very girly. Abby pulled the blue

  were none. Abby pulled on some blue jeans that were too big. She felt uncomfortable with no underwear on.

  Abby stared at the note as she put on a large gray sweater. It smelt freshly washed. Pooch watched her closely. She walked out of the bathroom in her new clothes and to the corner of her bed where some boots were. She put them on and stared at the Marine. He had something in his arms. It was a blue jacket and he gave it to her. Abby smiled poorly.

  “Summer will be here soon,” He said breaking the silence, “Then we will be wishing for this weather.”

  He smiled and turned towards the door. Abby looked at her room and had a sudden fear that she would never see it again. She did not realize how much she relied on it for comfort until she stepped out of it.

  Pooch followed close behind as she shut the door. Abby’s stomach turned as the wooziness in her head worsened. Abby ignored the stares she got from nurses as they walked through the large open building. She saw other people in rooms like her own. They were smiling and happy looking. Other dogs walked through the building with their owners and Pooch growled.

  They entered a large plaza area that was almost emptied. There were a few people behind a counter laughing while three nurses walked around a corner and disappeared down a hall. The large glass doors were closed ahead of them. Abby walked close to the Marine and then picked Pooch up as they came closer to the door.

  Cold air hit her hard and she shivered. Her bones were aching and her bite wounds felt hot. The Marine looked at her as they started down the stairs. There were not many people outside though there were a lot of cars. Abby could hear people in the distance laughing.

  She smelt food baking and other strange new scents. She stared to her right where a small town was.

  “Can you hear them?” The Marine asked as he softly nudged her arm.

  Abby looked at him and his eyes were large and young.

  “I hear laughter,” She quietly said.

  The way he looked at her was with such awe that it made her feel uncomfortable. They came to the last step and Abby stared towards the town shivering. The Marine tugged at her jacket and she turned towards him. She followed him closely as a few other Marines walked by.

  They walked to a large gray building with an open front door. They entered it with no problem. There were Army men and woman inside chatting. A few Marines at a table looking over paperwork. A woman with bright red lipstick sat at a desk looking at her nails and glancing at a computer screen.

  Only a few looked at them but did not seem to care. Only one Marine gave them a weary look. They walked down a long hallway with many doors then stopped by a black door. He pointed down the hallway.

  “There will be a closed brown door all the way at the end to the right. She is in there but,” He glanced at Abby, “She is in a meeting. So, you may want to wait.”

  Abby smiled as she said, “I think I waited long enough.”

  The Marine laughed then quickly straightened his face and wrinkled his nose as he said, “Okay. But, I warned you.”

  Abby looked away then back at the Marine. She looked at

  Damon nodded and walked away. Abby felt afraid but was holding the note tightly. She held Pooch in her other arm and chewed on her bottom lip. She walked down the hallway slowly. Heart pounding in her chest. She felt lightheaded and as if the world around her was moving. She straightened her posture and breathed.

  Abby stopped by the door and looked at the note in her

  door. The room was much bigger than she expected. Yet it was mostly empty. Weapons sat on the right side of the room while on the left was a map
of the world. Near it was a map of the USA and smaller maps. Some had red lines through cities and large X marks through others. There were colorful pins on the large map of the world.

  Large chalkboards and whiteboards were on the walls. They had military plans and other military orders on them. There was a desk with computers and large screens above them with screen savers on them. At a large round desk were a few Marines, Army soldiers, Rodgers, and Ava. Ava was wearing a laidback uniform with a gun holster over it.

  Her hair was in a bun and her expression was full of annoyance. Rodgers wore a black sweater with a gun holster over it and cargo pants. His hair was gray and he had an odd expression on his face. That was when Abby noticed the Marines had guns pointed at her. Pooch growled at them and Rodgers put a hand

  up. The men put their guns down.

  “I am sure you have a good reason to be interrupting

  a private meeting you were not invited to.” Ava snarled as she

  stood, “Why are you here Abby?”

  For a moment Abby was speechless and wanted to cry. She shook away her shivers and breathed deeply. Pooch kept growling in her arms as Abby lifted her hand with the note up. Abby needed to be brave. Letting strength enter her she looked up. Ava stared at it then a realization hit her. Ava stood up and crossed her arms and wrinkled her nose.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Abby asked with more strength in her voice now. She was glad she did not sound as weak as before. She stepped forward and waved the note around,

  “Why?”

  “You were hurt. There was nothing you could do.” Ava told

  “You don’t think it would have made me feel better? Hopeful? I could have helped look for them.” Abby said trying to sound stronger than she felt, “I could have.”

  “Done what Abby?” Ava narrowed her eyes, “You could barely walk. Telling you about that note would have done nothing but depress you more because you could not do anything about it.”

  Abby went to protest when Ava put her hand up. “Do not try to argue with me. I know you are upset and I

  am sorry you are.” Ava said with a softer voice, “We went looking for them after we found the note and we found nothing. There were no bodies that matched them. They may have survived but if they did we have no idea where they went. Yet the likelihood of them surviving is low. I need you to understand that. They’re probably dead Abby.”

  Abby felt tears come to her eyes as she looked down at Pooch who was staring into her eyes. Abby gritted her teeth and snorted. Suddenly regretting ever coming to see Ava. Wanting to run away and hide Abby felt something inside her grow. She looked up at Ava and then realized what she wanted to do. Maybe Evan and Jessie were alive or maybe they weren’t. It hurt and Abby would not lie about that. But, they were not the only ones lost out there.

  “Okay.” Abby said defeated, “Maybe I can’t help them but I can help others.”

  Ava stepped forward relaxing her body and softening her eyes. Rodgers stepped forward and leaned on the table with a queer smile.

  “What are you suggesting?” Rodgers asked with a rough voice.

  I want to let people know that there is hope and a better future. I don’t want to sit here in this lie acting like nothing is wrong.” Abby said straightening her body and trying to stand tall, “I want

  not. I was out there scared and alone thinking I would die. I don’t want others thinking that. I want them to know there is a chance for them. A better life.”

  A few of the people behind them snickered. Abby forced herself to ignore them. A man with thick glasses, ash blond hair, and a jittery smile stepped forward. Abby wanted to hurt them all. She was sick of feeling useless. Maybe this was a bad idea and even now she wanted to back out of it. Yet the thought of just sitting there enjoying these amazing things given to her made her sad. Especially when she knew others out there were lost and scared.

  She did not know what help she could give. However, she knew she wanted to do something no matter how scared she was. No matter how much she wanted to cry or how much she feared. She knew she could be strong and happy. Abby wanted to let others know that too.

  “You can’t do that. Infected must stay within the walls. You are weak and easily wounded.” The Marine said with a smirk.

  “I can also heal quicker than people like you,” Abby snarled.

  The Marine went to speak when Ava put her hand up.

  “Hush Matthews,” She said with an uninterested voice, “You realize you will probably die out there right?”

  Abby felt her throat tightening. She had some gun

  went through since after the outbreak. Abby nodded. “I know,” Abby said slowly, she paused, swallowed hard,

  then said, “But, I will die someday. Why not die trying to save

  others?”

  Ava smiled.

  “This is a bad idea.” Rodgers said rubbing his chin. He

  looked at Abby as if she were some wounded deer. The others

  stared at her with a lot of judgement.

  “You would have a hard time adjusting. It will take longer

  everything done to it. You need a lot of food to build muscle and your body will refuse most food given to you. And with that you can easily get sick because of your weakened immune system.” Ava stepped in front of Abby and smiled kindly, “You will never be like these men and women you see. Never as strong as them. You will have a higher risk of dying from infection too.” Abby looked down sadly then back up at Matthews behind

  Ava who was grinning. Abby looked at Ava and gritted her teeth more. Ava shrugged and smiled.

  “And these people will never be like you. They will never be as strong as you. They could bleed to death while you could be cut a hundred times and still run on. While the Infection spreads

  However, you will be slower and weaker unless your adrenalin is pumping.” Ava breathed and let out a long breath, “It will be either a horrible idea or a good one. But, if you want to help. If you want to be a solider then we will accept you.”

  “But, ma’am!” Matthews tried to protest.

  Ava put a hand up and glared at Matthews. Rodgers snickered.

  “You will go through the same training as everyone in this room. It is not easy. You will have book training and then physical

  yourself.” Ava walked over to a counter and dug in something, she grabbed something and turned around, “You will start training tomorrow. Rodgers will come in with your book work and he will teach you everything there is about being a solider.”

  Abby looked at Rodgers who was still smiling. “At any time you feel this is not what you want you can bail. This is not like the old world. This is the new world. If you do not wish to be a part of something, even this, you can walk away.” Ava walked closer to Abby. Pooch growled and Abby hushed her. Ava put her hand out. Abby stuck a hand out and something fell into her hand, “From now on you are a cadet. This will not be easy and it will take a long time for you to be able to join their ranks. And when and if you do you will go out there and you will be put up against things worse than what you have faced so far.”

  Abby opened her hand and stared at a badge. It was two stars together. A crimson red with an eagle on the front. Abby eyed it and felt nervous. She looked up and noticed that everyone in the room had one.

  “You will probably die out there though.” Ava said, “But, we all could.”

  Rodgers stepped forward and held a hand out. Abby took it and he shook it with a strong grip.

  “Welcome to the Haven military.” He grinned.

  “Uh thanks.” Abby said shyly.

  “I thought I wasn’t going to like you.” She heard Ava laugh. Abby looked up and saw Ava walking back behind the table. She leaned over the table and started talking to the Marines near her. Mathews glared at Abby then turned his attention to the paperwork in front of him.

  Abby looked at Rodgers and he squeezed her left shoulder. Pooch barked at him. Rodgers stepped back laughing.
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br />   “Go back to the hospital. I will be there tomorrow morning.” He told her as he turned away.

  Back at the hospital Abby went through everything in her head. The note sat on the window next to some roses. She looked outside at the fresh snow falling and sighed. She was starting to regret doing what she had done. Hiding away in this room sleeping on a nice bed. Fresh room every day was amazing and

  Then the feeling of emptiness sat in and depression surrounded her. She did not know how to save herself from this darkness inside her. She remembered long ago someone telling her that if she helped others she may in the end help herself. She was scared to go outside the walls of Haven.

  Then she thought of herself hiding in the ambulance bitten

  Megan. Of Jessie scared and alone in the cold woods. There were others out there lost and scared. Children, women, and men. Scared and alone. Believing that there is no better future. Abby felt lost herself and alone.

  She needed to be stronger. Someday it would be okay. She had to believe it. She had to make herself believe in hope. That she would be okay. That someday she would be happy and love herself. Abby looked over at her bed where Pooch lay sleeping. Abby felt hopeless for the future even now even though all this greatness was around her.

  It made her feel ashamed. She closed her eyes and breathed. Tomorrow would start a new day and a new future. She had no idea if she could truly be a solider but she would try. Maybe she

  Tears rolled down her cheeks as she thought about why she

  hand. Abby opened her eyes and wiped tears away. She chewed her bottom lip and stared at herself in the window. Despair and

  and that she would be okay. She would grow stronger and she would help herself and she would help others. She would show herself that she could be strong and that she could be happy. She could save herself and maybe even others.

  “I can do this,” Abby cried, “I can do this.”

  The End

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