A Christmas Wish--A Contemporary Erotic Feel Good Christmas Romance (Darkest Fears Christmas Special, Book Four)

by Clair Delaney

  I can remember saying to him that we should run, but he told me not to worry and to finish off locking up, which I did. At that moment, he really reminded me of Vinnie Jones, and that film he was in where he was the mobster. An actual shiver ran down my spine, because Danny just had this look on his face that told me he would take each and every one of them out if he had to, and I had nothing to worry about. And to be fair, as we passed them on our way to the car-park, one of them made a comment towards me, and Danny just glared at him. Suffice to say we didn’t have any problems, and all was well. But I don't want to tell Tristan that, because the next thing I know I’ll have three bodyguards!

  I sigh heavily at the look on Tristan’s face – he’s still not happy.

  “Look, I know you’re a guy, and maybe guys don't really express that kind of thing to each other, but Danny does to me, and he cares deeply, about us both. Only this morning he was thanking us again for giving him a chance. He said that we have turned his life around by giving him this job.”

  Tristan doesn’t look convinced. Christ! – I try to stay calm.

  “Tristan, he is doing everything he is supposed to, if not more. I trust him, and I never trusted or felt comfortable with...’ I hesitate a moment, and wince slightly when I say his name. ‘Stuart, so don't you go saying anything to him, because if I lose him, I am not going to be happy – And before you say it, you can forget about me having anyone else!” I take my hands out of his and cross my arms.

  He glares at me. “Are you done?”

  “Yes.” I glare back at him.

  “Right, well what I was going to say is that we should get Danny a car,” he says, his one eyebrow raised. I instantly feel guilty for going off at the deep end – I’m still learning to be calmer, more patient.

  Tristan continues. “I want him to make sure you are safe from door to door. And no, I don't care who drives. But once he’s got you home, he can use his own damn car to get to Joe’s. That way, I’m happy, you’re happy, and he’s happy.” He gives me a scornful look. “I had no idea you were so fond of him,” he adds.

  And I know what I’ve said has hit a nerve. “Don't say it like that Tristan,” I mumble.

  “Like what?” he asks, ‘you were just gushing with joy about your driver. How do you think that makes me feel?” he asks, then stands, not waiting for my reply, and walks away from me.

  I debate for a moment on whether or not to follow him, and decide I will. Getting to my feet, I stomp into the kitchen after him. At the slow cooker, Tristan lifts the lid and the most wonderful smell wafts towards me, making me lose concentration for a moment – Coral, talk to him!

  Right, yes – He doesn’t know yet, and he should.

  “Danny has proposed to Joe, and she said yes,” I tell him, ignoring the fact that he’s obviously got it into his head that I have some sort of feelings for Danny other than brotherly love.

  Tristan silently puts the lid back on the slow cooker, crosses his arms and turns to face me.

  I stare back at him. “Are you uncomfortable with Danny being my driver?” I ask

  “You seem to have developed a close relationship,” he replies, frowning back at me.

  My heart sinks. “Tristan,” I whisper and walk over to him. “Danny is like a brother to me. And yes, I do have feelings for him, but it’s brotherly love, that’s all. And it’s the same for him you know, he considers you, me and Edith his family,” I softly tell him.

  I know Tristan struggles with confidence and insecurity sometimes, as do I, so it’s my job to comfort him and remind him of my love for him, but in this instance, it’s Danny’s life that will be affected by all of this – What if he can't get another job? What if he loses Joe? What if, god forbid, he goes downhill and ends up on the streets again, using drugs and alcohol? – The very thought of it is abhorrent - No, I cannot let that happen to him – Yet, Tristan, and his feelings are my priority.

  I sigh inwardly. “If you’re uncomfortable with Danny being my driver...” I say, shaking my head at what I’m about to say, “then fine, I don't want you thinking there’s something going on when there isn’t. So if you want me to have someone else, then we need to find him another job first,” I add, feeling awful I just said that.

  Tristan lowers his head and stares at the floor. His cheeks are starting to flame, and he’s clenching his jaw – He’s not happy about something. Then taking me by surprise he engulfs me in his arms, squeezing me tightly. “I’m sorry baby, I’m being stupid aren’t I,” he says, his voice all croaky and sexy.

  “No, not stupid,” I manage to say back, but it is hard to breath.

  “Am I forgiven?” he croakily asks.

  I pull back and look up at him. “There’s nothing to forgive,” I whisper back, then lean up and plant my lips on his for a kiss. “Are you worried about him being with me?” I ask, wondering if Danny has shown some sort of man sign that I haven’t seen but Tristan has.

  He smiles his shy smile, and rests his forehead against mine. “No...I just get a little insecure sometimes about you,” he says with his eyes closed.

  “Me?” I squeak in a high pitched tone.

  This makes Tristan smile shyly again. “Yes, you,” he says and lifts his head to look down at me. “You’re so beautiful, inside and out. You’re every man’s fantasy,” he whispers, frowning deeply at his own words.

  “Hey,” I say, and squeeze him around the waist. “You have nothing to fear Tristan – I will never leave you, or cheat on you...or do anything behind your back that could lead you to mistrust me.”

  He stares down at me, his eyes dark and intense. “I know,’ he sighs, and places his hands on my cheeks. “I guess I get a little jealous sometimes when I see you talking to Danny. And I think it’s because you two knew each other all those years ago, and I can't help wondering sometimes if...he’s the better partner for you, because of what you both went through’ – “Stop it!” I interrupt, and take a breath.

  “Tristan, there’s no one else I will ever want but you,” I whisper, feeling the sincerity of my own words.

  This makes him smile. “Ok,” he says, looking slightly relieved.

  “Ok?” I question, smiling broadly at him, and he nods his head once. “So chef, what have you been cooking?” I ask lightly to ease the tension I can still see around his eyes.

  His smile broadens. “We have creamy Chicken with veggies and herby dumplings, all swimming in thyme gravy. Did you want to try it baby?” he asks. Sounds delicious!

  “Please,” I say, my stomach grumbling – and I suddenly realise I didn’t have any lunch – I will not be telling Tristan that though!

  Tristan smiles at me, and lifting the lid he dips the spoon in, and carefully brings it back up, the gravy has steam oozing from it, I lean forward so I can taste it. “Careful baby, it’s hot,” he warns. And I just fall in love with him all over again – He’s so sweet!

  I blow gently a few times then take a sip of the gravy – Absolutely delicious!

  “Well?” Tristan asks.

  “Did you make this from scratch?” I ask.

  “Yeah, I did,” he proudly says. “With a recipe that Edith left for me,” he quickly adds.

  “Tristan, that’s amazing! Well done babes,” I say and give him a kiss on the cheek.

  “It’s good right?” He replies.

  “Yeah, really good - I think we should use the slow cooker more often,” I muse out loud.

  He takes another sip of gravy. “You sure it doesn’t need anything chef?” And I know he’s teasing me.

  I cock an eyebrow up at him. “No, it is perfect my darling, just like you.”

  He smiles widely at me, and pops the lid back on. “Should only be about half an hour,” he softly says. “Glass of wine?” he adds.

  “Please, but baby, do you mind if I leave you to it? I wanted to try Joyce again,” I softly say.

  Tristan bends down so he’s eye level with me – I am such a short arse!

  “No baby,
of course I don't mind,” he gives me a quick chaste kiss. “I’ll bring your wine over to you, ok?”

  “Thank you baby,” I give him a kiss back, and with our moment about Danny over and done with, I skip towards the stairs so I can change from my work clothes, and try Joyce again...

  ANOTHER DAY HAS PASSED. I am sat crossed leg on our bed with the landline handset in my hand about to try Joyce again as there was no answer yesterday. I am starting to think it’s all a bit odd really, not being able to get hold of her – I know Gladys spoke to her a few days ago because she told me. And now there’s only four days left until Christmas Day, and I’m really panicking we won't get to say hello and wish each other a Merry Christmas.

  I sigh inwardly, and try to pick myself back up. Because although everyone has bailed on me bar Bob, I have to keep reminding myself of how lucky I am to have Tristan, and that I should appreciate the fact that rather than a big Christmas with family and friends, we’re going to be having a very quiet and sexy Christmas – just the two of us. A delicious shiver runs down my spine, as I think of the very sexy santa costume I have bought for Christmas Eve. I think Tristan’s going to love it.

  A smile spreads across my face as I think about the possibilities, his reaction, and the fun sexy time we’re going to have. And then I get this weird sinking feeling, which I’ve had several times since this whole Christmas wish idea started, that Christmas just won’t be right with it being just the two of us, that Christmas is all about family, and being with the ones you love – Stop it Coral!

  I take a deep breath and shake away that thought, even though it keeps rearing it’s ugly head.

  It’s you and Tristan, stop being miserable about it!

  I nod my head at my own words, and check the time again. It’s 1pm here, so 8am in Florida, it should be a good time to call as Joyce has always been an early riser. And Tristan is downstairs training with Will, so hopefully I won't be disturbed, and I can have a good old catch up with Joyce, that’s if I can get hold of her.

  I punch in the code, then the home number and wait to be connected. Then I think I maybe disturbing them all having breakfast, I almost hang up, but it’s quickly answered before I can do so.

  “Hello?” I wait for the answer, hoping and praying it will be Joyce.

  “Is that you Coral?” Jackie asks - Joyce’s sister. Her English accent is still there, but it’s now mixed with a slight Floridian accent. And my heart sinks.

  “Hi Jackie.” I reply, trying to smile.

  “How are ya kid?” Jackie asks, sounding upbeat. She’s always been just as lovely as Joyce.

  “Great thanks. You?” I ask, Jackie married Ben many years ago, they have two kids, who are grown and have their own families, eight grandchildren in total – they always have a big Thanksgiving together, but do their own thing at Christmas.

  “Well, I’m fit to burstin’, what with the amount of pumpkin pie I’ve been eating since we had the kids around for Halloween and Thanksgiving,” she laughs.

  “Sounds nice,” I reply. “And your family, are they all well?” I ask.

  “Fine and dandy thanks – you calling for Joyce?” she asks.

  “Yeah...she around?” I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping the answer is yes.

  “No honey, she’s gone away for a few days,” she tells me. My heart sinks even further, I’m gutted I’ve missed Joyce – again. But the last time I spoke to her, she didn’t mention anything about going away.

  “She’s gone away?” I ask, already feeling worried.

  “Yeah..she’s um...she’s gone to one of those spiritual retreat places,” she tells me, but I can't help frowning at the way that she said it. And I've never known Joyce to be spiritual. It’s very odd.

  “Is she ok?” I ask Jackie. “I can come over, I want to see her.” I quickly add, feels like a lifetime since we said our very teary goodbye.

  Then I wonder if Tristan and I should use the tickets Joyce purchased for us on my birthday? A round trip to Florida over the holidays, it would put my mind at rest that she’s coping with losing John. And then I remember we can’t as we have Bob coming for Christmas Dinner.

  “Oh honey, that’s sweet’n’all, but I think she just needed some rest and relaxation. It gets real crazy here in November, with all the kids here I mean. You want me to get her to call you when she’s back?” she adds.

  “I can’t reach her on her mobile?” I squeak.

  “No...she um...she didn’t take it, they don't allow them at those places.” Jackie is sounding very odd, and as though she’s making it all up – I wonder for a moment if Joyce is there, and she just doesn’t want to speak to me.

  “Oh...ok,” I mumble, feeling the tears bubble up to the surface – No, don't cry!

  “I’ll get her to call ya honey! Gotta go, Ben’s callin’ me.” Jackie hangs up, without even saying goodbye and I just sit there, staring at the handset, feeling totally and utterly dejected.

  Tristan comes bounding into the bedroom, sweat bucketing off him, as he glugs down a big bottle of water. “Hello my sexy lady,” he says, throwing his sexiest smile my way, and then a wink. He’s obviously in a very jovial mood – I wish I was.

  “Hey babes,” I smile up at him, trying my hardest not to show him that I’m upset.

  He waltzes over to me, leans down and plants his lips on mine, I can taste him and the slight saltiness of his sweat dripping down his face. “I’m going to take a shower. You can join me if you like,” he winks at me again as he heads into the en-suite. I must be a better actor than I thought!

  I smile back at him, but once he closes the door, I find myself drifting off, thinking about Joyce, remembering what it was like working for her, seeing her everyday...and I want to cry, I’m missing her so much...

  TRISTAN STARTLES ME by opening the en-suite door. He has a towel wrapped around his waist, his hair is all wet and sexy, and there are still beads of water dripping down his chest.

  “Hey babes, shall we go out for something to eat? I thought it might be nice to visit North Laine, see the Christmas decorations. Go ice-skating at the Royal Pavilion, visit the Christmas Market. Whatever you want to do, I just thought we’ve both been so busy, we should go out, have some fun. What do you think?” He asks, sounding full of the joys of Christmas.

  “Sounds great,” I reply, and it does, it really does – I’m just feeling a little melancholy, and I shouldn’t be. I try to shake it off. I smile at Tristan as I watch him dress in a pair of dark denim jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, which is a lovely mocha colour and hugs him in all the right places - But I guess there’s no fooling my sexy hubby; he knows me far too well for that.

  “Coral, why are you looking so down?” He asks. His eyes penetrating through me in the way that they do, it gets me every time.

  Getting to my feet, I turn away from him and place the handset back in the socket. “I’m not down,” I answer, knowing full well that’s not true.

  “Yes.” He sternly states, and turns my body so I have no choice but to face him. “You are,” he adds.

  I sigh inwardly. How do I tell him that the Christmas I so desperately wanted for him, for us, is still my Christmas wish, and that I’m really sad I haven’t been able to speak to Joyce, without it sounding as though I don't appreciate the fact that I will have him all to myself?

  “I just...wanted...” I stop, stuck for the right words to say.

  “What my love, what did you want?” He asks; his frown deep.

  “My first ever Christmas wish to come true,” I whisper, feeling ashamed. “And I miss Joyce, I haven’t been able to get hold of her again,” I croakily add.

  He smiles warmly at me, and softly strokes my cheek. “You have me now,” he softly says.

  I close my eyes in acknowledgment. “I know, and that makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive, but...” I shake my head, unable to say.

  “But what?” He chuckles lightly. How he has this kind of patience with me I will never know.

&n
bsp; I sigh outwardly this time. “It’s just...I wanted a big family Christmas and even though I am resigned to the fact that it’s not going to happen, I’m just...upset.” Tears prick my eyes as I think of the Christmas I imagined, and the one that’s going to be happening. And then I get a huge side order of guilt.

  “Hey now...there’s no need for tears.” He says, and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to his lovely, strong chest. I surrender and wrap my arms around him, inhaling his scent as I do.

  “Am I not enough?” He asks, and I can tell by his tone that he’s being playful, but I also know that underneath that playfulness is an underlying tremor in the force, an insecurity that still plagues him. I will never understand why he thinks this way, and why he has these moments of doubt.

  “You’re more than enough Tristan,” I tell him as I squeeze him tighter. Then propping my chin on his chest, I look up into his warm, chocolate eyes. “I just wanted you to have a big family Christmas,” I add.

  “Me?” He smiles warmly at me, his eyes swimming with love and affection.

  “Yes - you.” I tell him.

  “I have all I need right here in my arms,” he whispers sweetly.

  “Oh Tristan...me too,” I whisper back, and reaching up onto my tip-toes I kiss his lips. “And I know it sounds silly...but I wanted to make up for last year. You sat all alone on that beach on Christmas Day, without anyone. You’ll never know how much it hurts me to think that you went through that. I just wanted to make this one extra special, that’s all...” I close my eyes and rest my forehead against his.

  “Oh baby!” His arms squeeze tighter around me. And then I feel him kiss the tip of my nose. “It’s very sweet of you to think of me that way darling. But I’m looking forward to this one because I have you to share it with.”

  I close my eyes again. “You’re not sad...that’ – “My folks won’t be here?” he guesses. I nod, unable to reply. I don't want to upset him, or have him thinking about the past, we had enough of that last week.

  We both have to keep looking forward. Well, that’s what George keeps telling me.