A Christmas Wish--A Contemporary Erotic Feel Good Christmas Romance (Darkest Fears Christmas Special, Book Four)

by Clair Delaney

  “Joyce,” I whimper, because I have no idea what else to say – I think I’m still in shock.

  “Oh that’s nice!” Rob pipes up, “We all make the effort, but does she want to’ – “Oh be quiet!” Gladys and Joyce both say as they titter away at Rob.

  Then my brain fires up. “Joyce,” I say, pulling back to look at her, but still keeping hold of her arms. “What are you doing here...I mean, it’s amazing, I’m so happy you’re here, but’ – “Tristan,” Joyce answers, smiling widely at me.

  “Tristan?” I whisper back.

  “Yes,’ she laughs, ‘He called me about a month ago, and we talked for quite a while. He asked how I would feel coming back for Christmas, and told me of his plan to surprise you.” I gape at Joyce, then turn and try to find Tristan who’s got lost in the crowd.

  “You didn’t have a clue did you?” Joyce says her smile still wide.

  I shake my head at her. “No,” I manage to whisper.

  And I suddenly realise this is the reason I haven’t been able to speak to her, and the reason for that very odd conversation with her sister.

  “How long have you been here?” I ask.

  “I flew in a few weeks ago. I’ve been staying with Gladys and Malcolm,” she tells me.

  “Wait – So the other day when I was at Moms’ – “I was there,” she says, her eyes glistening over with fresh tears.

  “Oh Joyce!” I cry and we embrace each other again...

  I HAVE NO IDEA how much time has passed, but it’s pitch black outside, making the house feel warm and cosy, and so Christmasy now that everyone is here. I have talked non stop and listened to my family and friends tell their tales of convincing me that they couldn’t be here for Christmas. Which I have to admit, the old me would have been really pissed about, but I am a different person now, and all I feel is the love surrounding me, and how sweet and kind and thoughtful my man is for organising all of this – And then I realise I have nothing to offer anyone – No party food, no nothing – It was just supposed to be me and Tristan! - And now they’re all here and have told me they’ll all be here tomorrow too, there is no way I have enough food - I feel all the blood drain out of my face, and panic setting in.

  “Coral, whatever is the matter?” Gladys asks as she happens to be the one sitting next to me.

  The champagne cocktail in my hand begins to shake, giving me away. “Food,” Is all I manage to gasp, as I feel like I’m about to have an anxiety attack.

  “Food?” Gladys questions.

  “Tomorrow,” I gasp again, ‘I haven’t got enough for everyone,” I try taking several deep breaths, but it’s not working – I can't breathe!

  “Tristan,” Gladys calls, and begins ushering him over to her with manic hand gestures.

  In seconds he’s at my side. “Christ!” he runs his hands through his hair, “What’s wrong baby?” he gently asks as he kneels down in front of me.

  “She said something about food for tomorrow,” Gladys says.

  Tristan instantly relaxes. “Baby, it’s all organised. Calm down,” he gently says.

  “Organised?” I balk, trying to get more air into my lungs. My heart feels like it’s trying to crawl out of my throat.

  “Let’s go outside for a moment, get you some fresh air,” Tristan says, he lifts me into his arms and carries me outside. “Some water Gladys?” he adds as he slides open the patio door.

  Placing me down onto one of the chairs that have evidently been dried of rain, he takes my hands in his. “Deep breaths baby,” he softly says.

  Gladys appears with a glass of water and passes it to me.

  “I know what she means,” she says to Tristan, then kneels down in front of me – I manage to take a sip of water. “Coral darling, we are all bringing food with us. You see, Tristan organised it so everyone has one food item to bring, which makes it so much easier for everyone, and it meant you weren’t cooking all day love,” Gladys reaches up and places her hand on my cheek, and smiles so softly at me. “The turkey is in our oven, and will be ready for tomorrow. It’s a big one too, so there will be plenty to go around,” she adds with a soft, loving smile.

  I feel my heart start to calm, and my breathing slow down.

  “Really?” I say, the ringing in my ears slowly subsiding.

  “Yes darling,” she laughs, ‘you didn’t think he’d organise all of this without thinking of that did you?”

  I frown back at her. “Wait – what about tonight?” I whisper.

  “All sorted,” Tristan says, and gently runs his knuckle down my cheek. “Everyone has bought something with them,” he adds.

  “You don't have to worry about a thing,” Gladys says, and looks adoringly at Tristan, then back at me.

  Holy fuck! - I take a deep calming breath. “Might have been a good idea to tell me that at the beginning of the surprise,” I laugh, feeling lighter by the second.

  Tristan chuckles along with me. “In hindsight, I should have,” he agrees, wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him so he can kiss my temple.

  “I’ll leave you to it,” Gladys says, and with a kiss to my cheek, and one for Tristan, she walks back inside.

  I turn to Tristan, feeling almost back to normal, and place my hand on his cheek. “Thank you Tristan,” I say with the utmost sincerity.

  “You don't have to thank me,” he replies, and smiles his shy smile.

  And all humour is gone. I place my other hand on his cheek, and stare back at him. I can feel the intensity rolling off me like waves. “Tristan...you have made my Christmas wish come true, but even better than the one I had planned. I get to see my family and friends without the stress and the...’ I’m lost for words, I take a deep breath as I try to think of words that would explain the depth of love I have for this man, and how much I love him for what he’s done.

  “I don't quite know how to thank you for that, because thank you are just words, and what I feel right now, how happy I feel, doesn’t even come close to those words...” I shake my head as a few stray tears escape, and laugh at my own idiocy.

  “All for you,” he whispers, and smiles widely at me. “I knew how much you wanted this, before you even knew you wanted this, but I wanted you to be able to enjoy it and relax, which you now can,” he says.

  And I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him tightly. As I do, I notice for the first time in many weeks, I can see the stars - we actually have a clear sky.

  “Tristan...look,” I say.

  He pulls back, and realising what I’m looking at, his gaze follows mine. “Northern star,” he whispers, and smiles widely up at the sky.

  I stand, and Tristan does the same so we are side by side. I entwine my hand in his and squeeze it tight. “Merry Christmas baby,” I whisper, looking up at the stars, and realising that even though the sky above is full of magic and wonder – it doesn’t compare to Tristan.

  “Merry Christmas,” he whispers back, and then turning away from the sky, his lips reach mine in a passionate kiss that takes my breath away...

  THE PARTY IS IN FULL SWING. Everyone has eaten from the buffet of party food and are merrily getting tipsy, as one should on Christmas Eve. Christmas songs are blasting through the speakers, Rob, Gladys, Joyce and Debs are giving it large on the makeshift dance floor, which is basically the middle of the living room, as the sofa has been pushed back against the wall.

  Rob is pulling some hilarious dance moves, making me laugh out loud at his ludicrously.

  And then the track changes and I immediately recognise the song – Some Enchanted Evening.

  “Boring!” Rob snorts loudly, and walks over to Tristan’s player to skip the track.

  Tristan appears right next to his player with his hands in his pockets, and without a word he slowly shakes his head from side to side, warning Rob who rolls his eyes in disgust, and stomps off to get another cocktail.

  My very own James Bond stares at me from across the dance floor.

  I smile widely at
him.

  He walks towards me in such a dashing way, he’s reminding me of Cary Grant.

  “May I have this dance?” he asks, bowing slightly.

  “You may,” I reply, playing along with his game and giving him a small curtsy of my own, as I place my hand in his. He escorts me to the middle of the room, and we begin to sway to our song.

  And as we do, I get an image come into my mind’s eye of a little boy, with chubby rosy cheeks, bright green eyes, and curly brown hair, and he’s smiling widely at me, and he’s happy, and I suddenly realise who he is - Our child, our unborn child – And I know in that moment, I can feel it. I’m not afraid about being a mother anymore. The fear has been lifted with the most beautiful feeling of unconditional love.

  And then another image comes to mind – a memory of an old session with George.

  “We are all born into this world capable of one thing,” George said.

  “And what’s that?” I asked.

  “Love,” he replied.

  And I’m back in the present again, still dancing in my husband’s arms, and I can still see the baby’s face, smiling at me. I look up at Tristan, who smiles down at me, and I know – I will be a good mother, because I have Tristan by my side, he would never let me do anything stupid, and for the first time in my life, I actually believe in myself, I believe that I can do this, that George is right - we do come into this world knowing only love, it’s just everything else that fucks it up along the way.

  “Once you have found her, never let her go,” Tristan’s voice brings me back to him as he sings the words to our song.

  I smile up at him. “I bet you can't hit the high note at the end,” I laugh.

  He shakes his head and smiles that shy smile that I dearly love. “No way,” he laughs, ‘not even going to attempt it,” he adds, and swings me around, then as the song ends he tips me back, leans down and gently plants his lips on my neck...

  Epilogue

  December 2015

  AS I SIT WAITING impatiently for Dr Andrews, I can't help tapping my foot repeatedly, which begins to annoy a man that’s sitting opposite me, reading his newspaper. Twice now he has looked up at me over his paper, as I sit chewing my nails with nerves unlike any other I have ever know – I look down at my flat stomach again – Christ! What have I done!

  “Mrs Freeman?” The receptionist calls out. I stand, with the speed of a bullet and with one quick nod to her, I dash down the hallway, then without knocking I barge into Dr Andrews’ office, and slam the door shut behind me - Christ I’m a jibbering wreck!

  “Coral!” he says, he’s surprised to see me, and then his face falls as he sees the look on my face. “Come and take a’ – “I think I’m pregnant!” I blurt. And burst into tears – Crap!

  “Ok, well let’s find out shall we?” He calmly says, and getting to his feet, he slowly ushers me to the chair opposite him, and I sit. “Now, first of all Coral, I would like you to take a deep breath, and try to calm yourself down,” he tells me.

  I nod once and do exactly that, I take a deep one in and slowly blow it out – and then I freak out again, because all that’s doing is reminding me of those awful breathing class things that Debs went to – and I went with her once, I’d never been so bored in my life – and I’m hyperventilating again.

  “Coral,” Dr Andrews voice is stern now, ‘I would just like to say that if it turns out you are pregnant, this level of stress is no good for the baby.”

  That got my attention – I look down at my stomach again, god knows how many times I have done that over the past week, then I look up at Dr A, and nod. “Ok,” I swallow hard, ‘I’m calm,” I add. My mouth feels like all moisture has been sucked out of it.

  Dr A passes me a cup of water from his machine. “Thanks,” I glug it all back.

  “Ok then, now, I have a few questions’ – “Dr Andrews, I know you’re going to ask, when was the last day of my period...but please don't. Can’t we just do a test?” I ask.

  “Well that’s not how’ – “This works?” I interrupt. “Ok, look. For the first time in my life I have missed a period. I am on the combined pill, but I forgot to take the last five pills this month. Simply put, Tristan and I went away, and I didn’t realise until the last day that I’d even forgotten them. Anyway, I get home not thinking anything more about it, which was two weeks ago. Then I realised five days ago, that I haven’t had my period. So, each day I have taken a pregnancy test, and I’m getting a yes, every time. And then I looked online and I’ve got other symptoms too,” I say, and draw breath – Fuck a duck!

  “And what are your other symptoms?” He asks calmly, too calmly – Why isn’t he freaking out like me?

  “Um...really heavy boobs, I’m tired no matter how much sleep I get, and I seem to have developed a taste for liquorice...I mean, I like liquorice, but I just don't seem to be able to stop’ – “Coral,” Dr A laughs, ‘please try to slow down, or you’re going to leave me no choice but to call Mr Freeman.”

  My mouth pops open – Is he serious?

  He laughs again. “I can see you are clearly worried about’ – “I’m not worried,’ I interrupt, ‘I just can't handle not knowing...you know. If my life is about to change, in such a massive way, then I want to know, I need to know,” I take another breath, and see Dr A does not look happy. “Sorry,” I quickly tag on the end – And I’m chewing my tips again.

  “Here,” he passes me a small, plastic see through bottle, with a white plastic cap. ‘I need a urine sample, down the hall and to your right.”

  I nod and stand. “Sorry,” I whisper again, and head out of his office – Calm Coral, calm!

  Once I’m done, I head back into his office and hand him the sample. “Alright then,” he says as he places a long paper strip of some sort into my pee, waits a couple of seconds and begins nodding. “Well Coral, from the looks of things – you are pregnant. But we’ll take a blood sample now, and we should be able to get that to you tomorrow.” And I want to give Tristan a big kiss for getting us private care.

  Dr A continues. “In the meantime, I will get you referred to Dr Abigail Wright, she will discuss all the does and don’ts and get you a midwife to guide you through. And she should be able to give you a transvaginal sonogram, see if we can see anything,” he says, smiling broadly at me.

  “A what?” I reply, which makes him smile wider.

  He taps his keyboard, and a second later he turns his screen and shows me an image of what looks like a frigging dildo – my mouth drops open again.

  “They’re going to want to put that, in me?” I squeak in horror...

  TRISTAN AND I ARE lying on our bed, both on our backs, head to head, as we gaze at the picture he’s holding in his hand, which is an image of my very first scan, which I wouldn’t go to without Tristan, so it didn’t happen until January.

  “Wow,” he says, for the third time. “I don't think I can quite believe it,” he whispers.

  “Well, believe it baby, cause you’re going to be a Papa,” I softly say.

  This makes him chuckle. “A Papa?”

  “Yeah,” I reply, liking the sound of that. “And I’m going to be a Moma,” I add.

  “Trust you to be different, no mommy and daddy in this house huh?” he replies dryly.

  I turn and look up at him. “I actually really like Moma,” I tell him.

  “You do?” he says, surprised.

  “Yeah babes, I really do,” I say.

  Tristan smiles widely at me, leans down and gently pecks my lips. “Moma and Papa it is then,” he laughs.

  “Tristan,” I say, feeling worried about the conversation I had with my midwife. “I’ve been speaking to Georgina, and I...please don't get mad,” I say, before I continue.

  “Get mad? – “Please...” I beg, and he nods his head. “I’m not going into hospital to have the baby Tristan. I want it here, in this house. It’s been our home for two and a half years now, and I feel safe, happy, and most importantly, I feel relaxed her
e.”

  He’s quiet and contemplative for a moment, and then he nods, decision made. “Ok, but wouldn’t you rather move into the new house before having the baby?” He asks.

  I shake my head at him. “This house is filled with so many happy memories, that I want it to be here that our lives make the turning point, another change. We have the baby here, and say goodbye to the life we had before, by beginning a new, exciting chapter in our new abode, with the new addition to our little family,” I say.

  Tristan smiles widely at me. “Are you really ready for this?” he says.

  I burst out laughing. “I don't really have much choice, and neither do you!”

  “True,” he laughs.

  “Besides, Edith, Gladys, Debs and Joyce can hardly wait. So I’m thinking we are going to have a lot of help from our family, and hopefully we won't be so tired and worn out that we don't get time to appreciate it, or each other,” I say with a wink, making Tristan chuckle at me...

  TWENTY FOUR HOURS of frigging breathing like a lunatic with contractions that are making me feel as though I am splitting in two, and he’s still not out! - Come on Ethan!

  The pain is unlike anything I have ever known. Another contraction hits - Fuuuuuuckkk!

  “Breathe Coral, breathe!” My midwife Georgie demands.

  “Holy mother of God!” I shout, trying to breathe through it again. “Tristan I’m scared,” I whimper.

  I’m sat in a squat position, with Tristan behind me, holding my hands. And I’m so thankful he’s here, I have no idea how women go through this alone.

  “I’m right here,” he whispers, squeezing my hands tightly. “You can do this,” he adds.

  “Ok Coral – push!” Georgie tells me, and so I do, with all my might, hoping and praying this will be over soon, and that this is the last push – I am beyond tired.

  “Keep pushing,” she shouts.

  “You can do it baby,” Tristan whispers in my ear, as I squeeze his hands so tightly, I’m surprised he’s not screaming himself.