The Complete Arms of Grace Series

by Eleanor Chance

  That eased the tension, but Alec’s attitude still disturbed me. I felt betrayed. I wanted to trust that she had my best interests at heart, but she had to know that Johnny was an integral part of my best interests. If she didn’t understand that, then I was way off about where we stood.

  As if reading my mind, she said, “I can see the little wheels spinning in your brain, Grace. You need to know one thing. I made a commitment as your friend to support you in any way I can. I stand by that. I just needed to make sure that you’re not so caught up with Johnny that you’re missing the reality of the long term.”

  “Every day since Johnny came into my life, I’ve waited for the call telling me he was gone. I’ve also known every day that they could find his family. I get it, Alec. It’s an insane situation, but I’m choosing that insanity. I don’t know how to convince you that I’m not going into this blind. Please, once and for all, tell me you believe that.”

  “Fine, I’m convinced,” she said. “I won’t bring it up again.”

  “Let’s put this behind us and finish the party. I hid some cake in the kitchen, just in case,” Adam said.

  Alec followed him into the kitchen. My day that had started out so well had gone south in a hurry. I hoped it wasn’t an omen of things to come. I lifted my glass and said, “To chapter two.”

  Brad and Adam convinced Kinsley to let me go to Baltimore when the doctor running the study approved the request. I packed in a hurry, excited to be with Johnny again. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything since he’d gone. Two days later, I was ready for Alec to take me to the train station.

  She hugged me on the platform and said, “I’m going to miss you and Johnny. I hope it goes well. I’ll be sending positive vibes your way, and I’ll try to come up a few times if I can.”

  “I’d love that. Are you ready to take on the IM floor?”

  “I know the ropes pretty well by now. You’ve trained me well. It’ll be fine,” she said.

  “Call any time.”

  “I will. Take care of yourself, Grace. See you soon.” She hugged me.

  I’d miss her, but I was sure she’d be relieved to have Johnny and me out of the way for a while so she could spend more time with Adam. I knew how she felt. I was looking forward to having Johnny all to myself. I found an empty row and took the seat by the window. I’d never been to Baltimore, and even though I knew I would be spending the majority of my time with Johnny, I was looking forward to a change of scenery. I grabbed a few travel brochures in the train station and browsed through them as the train pulled away.

  10

  Whenever he moved close, I forgot how to breathe. He smelled like a clean breeze over the ocean, and he was so tall and strong. He leaned in to examine Johnny, and I imagined running my fingers through his thick salt-and-pepper hair. Lost in my fantasy, I missed his question, so I just nodded. I knew I had to get out of the room before I said something stupid. I excused myself and left, hopefully without arousing suspicion.

  I found the closest restroom and locked myself in a stall. Meeting Dr. Jay Morgan two hours earlier had turned me into a dreamy-eyed schoolgirl. He was a renowned pediatric neurologist. His books were benchmarks in the field. He was the head of Johnny’s research study, so I’d be spending the bulk of my time working with him.

  My reaction to him confused me. I hadn’t had the slightest interest in men since escaping my marriage, but I’d never been affected that way by a man, not even Danny. I’d seen handsome men but only noticed them with casual detachment. There wasn’t anything casual about my reaction to Dr. Morgan.

  I closed my eyes and leaned against the cool metal of the stall door. I decided I didn’t care what he’d done to me and surrendered to the sensation.

  Dr. Morgan was leaving Johnny’s room when I walked out of the restroom ten minutes later. He saw me in the hallway and motioned for me to wait. My emotions erupted again at the sight of him. I was tempted to retreat back into my hiding place but resisted the urge. As he drew closer, I tried to convince myself that he was just another doctor, but it didn’t work. He was the man of my dreams.

  “You’re pale,” Dr. Morgan said. “Is everything all right?”

  “Oh, I’m fine. Just worn out from my trip here,” I said.

  “You should go back to your room and get a good night’s sleep. Johnny will be well looked after here.”

  “I think I’ll do that, Dr. Morgan.”

  “Please, call me Jay,” he said and extended his hand. “I was looking for you to see if you’d be available for lunch tomorrow. I’d like to discuss Johnny’s case with you. I’m sure you have valuable insights.”

  My legs went weak again. “I’d love to,” I said before I could stop the words from tumbling out of my mouth.

  He took a business card from an engraved silver case and pressed it into my hand. “Call my extension around noon. I’ll meet you after rounds and take you to a bistro I like. The cafeteria food here is terrible.”

  “I like it,” a nurse who was walking by said, “but not all of us have such uppity tastes.”

  Jay smiled and shook his head.

  “Until tomorrow then,” I said and watched longingly as he walked away, wondering how I’d survive until I saw him again.

  I’d been assigned an apartment in staff housing, and when I woke the next morning, my first thoughts were of Jay, not Johnny. I got up and tried on every outfit I’d brought, hoping to find something that would be good enough. I hadn’t planned to socialize while I was in Baltimore, so I’d only brought uniforms and casual clothes. Nothing was right, and I was tempted to wait for the local mall to open and find something there. I came to my senses before I followed through on that plan, though. Jay hadn’t said anything about our meeting being a date. It was a lunch to discuss Johnny’s case. I settled on a pair of jeans, blouse, and jacket, and left to see my boy.

  On my way to Johnny’s room, I tried to convince myself that I was acting ridiculous about Jay, but my gut still knotted up at the thought of seeing him. I was pleased and disappointed to find Johnny alone, tranquil and oblivious as always. I scolded myself for allowing my juvenile fantasizing to take priority over him. He was the reason I was in Baltimore. I checked his chart and saw that the nurse had already been in to bathe and change him. I picked him up and brushed my cheek against his. I thought I felt him cuddle against me, but it was probably just wishful thinking.

  I sat with Johnny cradled in my arms and hummed while I considered our situation. I was looking forward to my lunch for more than just a chance to be with Jay. I wanted to pick his brain and find out how he planned to focus his study. I was desperate for a glimmer of hope. I’d heard stories of people waking up after years in a vegetative state, but they’d always been adults. I was encouraged by the knowledge that babies’ brains grow and develop at a much faster rate than adults, but I didn’t know if that meant they healed faster too. If so, then why was Johnny still asleep after five months?

  I laid Johnny back in his bed and started making notes about his history. As I wrote, I realized Johnny would be a year old in a month. I wished we were in Richmond so I could have a party for him. I was sure the staff in Baltimore would think I was certifiable if I did it there. I decided to just bring in a few decorations and a new quilt and called Jay’s extension to let him know I was ready to go.

  “You must have gotten a good night’s sleep,” Jay said as he walked me to the physician’s parking lot. “You look lovely.”

  “Thank you,” I said, pleased that he’d noticed.

  He held out his hand to help me into his black convertible.

  And you’re drop-dead gorgeous, I thought as he walked around to his side of the car.

  He took me to a trendy bistro and gave me excellent suggestions on what to order. I was sure I’d never eaten in such an expensive restaurant. He made small talk while we waited for our food, effortlessly making me feel at ease. While we ate, he questioned me about Johnny. I rambled on for most of the meal, t
hrilled to discuss my favorite subject.

  “I’m impressed,” Jay said when I’d finished. “You’ve obviously done your homework. The information will help when I go over his initial test results.”

  I was flattered and took a bite of food so he wouldn’t see me smiling.

  “It’s clear that you have more than a professional involvement with Johnny. Describe your relationship with him,” he said.

  I panicked, not knowing how I could describe my relationship with Johnny to someone like Jay. I wiped my mouth to stall while I thought of what to say. I didn’t know what he’d heard about me. For all I knew, he’d spoken with Kinsley. I decided to be direct, figuring he’d find out eventually anyway. “I intend to adopt him,” I said, looking him in the eye.

  “Adopt him? What, you mean if he regains consciousness?” he asked, clearly trying to hide his shock.

  I squared my shoulders and said, “No, I plan to start the process when we get back to Richmond.”

  It was Jay’s turn to stall. He calmly wiped his mouth with his napkin before laying it neatly on his lap. “I know we’ve just met, and I can’t pretend to know your motivations. I can see that you’re an intelligent woman, but you must understand how irrational that is, even if he does recover. I’m sorry to be so blunt.”

  “Don’t apologize. I get the same reaction from everyone. I know people think I’m crazy to want to do this, but it’s not an impulsive decision. Maybe I’ll explain my motivation, as you called it, at some point.”

  “I don’t think you’re crazy, just misguided. For now, I’ll respect your reasons. I don’t I agree with them though. From what little I’ve seen, I expect that you may be in for a disappointment.”

  Strike one, I thought. At least the truth was out. I wouldn’t have to pretend with him. I tried to ask him a few questions about Johnny, but he stopped me.

  “I don’t want to make any more assumptions. Once the initial testing is done, we’ll compile the results and consider treatment options. I’ll make sure to keep you in the loop.”

  “Thank you, Jay. I know you’re not obligated to do that.”

  “My pleasure,” he said and flashed a smile that paralyzed my legs. “We’d better get back to the hospital. Do you mind if we go straight there, or do you need to go back to your apartment?”

  “Straight there is fine. I’m here to watch after Johnny after all,” I said.

  He held out his hand to help me up. I was grateful since my legs were still like cooked spaghetti. As we walked, he softly laid his hand on my back to guide me to the car. His touch was so light that I wondered if I imagined it. He held my hand just a second too long when he helped me into the car. My skin tingled under his touch. He was all business on the drive back to the hospital though. I scolded myself for reading motivations into his actions that clearly weren’t there.

  My life settled into a new normal in the days that followed. I spent most of my time with Johnny. Even though I was assisting in a minor role with the study, there wasn’t much for me to do. I wasn’t used to sitting around, so I had to be creative to keep myself occupied. Jay was true to his word and kept me involved in Johnny’s care. Progress was slow. Johnny wasn’t the only patient in the study, and Jay had other patients too. Sometimes I went for a few days at a time without seeing him. He showed nothing but familiar professionalism with me, but I still looked forward to every glimpse of him.

  I became acquainted with a few of the nurses and tried to dig for information on Jay without being too obvious. I learned that he and his ex-wife had divorced years earlier. They had two successful daughters who lived in the area. They came to visit him at the hospital occasionally, but I never saw them. The nurses considered Jay one of the most eligible bachelors in the city. He’d traveled the world and authored several books and articles. A man like Jay would forget a woman like me the minute I was out of sight. I’d been foolish to think he’d ever be interested in me. I contented myself with admiring him from afar.

  Two weeks after my lunch with Jay, I went back to Johnny’s room after dinner. I was getting antsy in my little apartment. Alec had recommended a novel she liked, but I was having a hard time getting into it. I’d read the same page for the third time when I heard a tap on Johnny’s door and looked up to see Jay peeking in.

  “You’re here late,” he said and came in.

  “Had to get out of my apartment. I can read here as well as there. You’re here late too,” I said.

  “I had a surgical patient with complications,” he said. “She just turned the corner for the better. I’ve been neglecting Johnny, so I thought I’d check in.”

  “There’s no change that I can see. Are there any new results?” I asked.

  “Yes, and some are minimally encouraging. Don’t get your hopes up though. We’re a long way from knowing exactly what his prognosis or treatment plan will be.”

  “Thanks for letting me know. I’m used to not getting my hopes up when it comes to Johnny.”

  An awkward silence followed. I was sure he was searching for a polite way to escape. To make it easy on him, I said, “Well, I’m sure you probably want to get home.”

  He didn’t respond but just stood there studying me. After several seconds, he said, “Are you planning to stay much longer? I’d be happy to give you a ride home.”

  His offer was the last thing I expected. I had given him an out, but he missed it. It hadn’t occurred to me that he actually wanted to spend time with me. Not wanting to be rude after his kind offer, I said, “I’m ready to go now, but you don’t have to do that. My apartment’s only a few blocks away.”

  “You shouldn’t be walking alone this late. Please, I’d be happy to take you. Maybe we can get to know each other better. I’ll just go close up my office.”

  He left before I could say anything. I stared after him in shocked silence, wondering if I’d fallen asleep. I pinched my cheeks to make sure. Convinced I was awake, I grabbed my tote bag, kissed Johnny, and followed Jay to his office before he changed his mind.

  I gave Jay directions to my apartment and showed him where to park. He didn’t say a word until we got inside. “Is this where they stuck you? I’ll have to do something about that.”

  Not sure why he cared, I said, “No, please don’t. This is fine. It’s only temporary, and I’d rather not move again. I’m settled in here.”

  He looked skeptical but didn’t say anything. I didn’t have anything to offer but herb tea and water, so I sat on the sofa and motioned for him to take the recliner. He hesitated slightly before sitting. I’d never seen that side of Jay. He was the kind of man who took command of a room just by walking into it. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have called him timid.

  “I don’t know much about you other than you want to adopt Johnny,” he said.

  The one thing I wish you’d forget, I thought.

  “Tell me about yourself.”

  “Not much to tell. I grew up in Nebraska and Iowa. I moved to Richmond in my early twenties. I’ve been there ever since, working in the same hospital. I’m the charge-nurse on the IM floor, which you probably knew.”

  “I did,” he said.

  When he didn’t go on, I said, “Johnny showing up in the ER is the only interesting thing that’s happened in my adult life. That’s it,” I said and sat back.

  “I’m sure there’s more to it than that, like why you decided to get involved in Johnny’s situation,” he said.

  Two weeks earlier, I’d have given anything to have Jay alone in my apartment, but I found myself wishing he’d leave. He was asking questions too complicated for our new friendship. I searched for a way to divert the conversation without being too obvious. I finally said, “It’s complicated. I’m not comfortable talking about myself, especially with someone I hardly know.”

  He stood and said, “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just such an unusual situation. You don’t owe me an explanation. I’ll go if you’d like.”

  “Sit down,” I said.
“You don’t have to leave. I’m sure we can find something else to talk about.”

  He threw his head back and laughed—a warm, smooth laugh, like melted chocolate flowing in a fountain. He sat down next to me on the sofa instead of in the recliner. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry for prying. You’ll learn that I’m a very direct person, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s business is mine. Let’s start again. Is this your first time in Baltimore?”

  Relieved, I laughed too. “Yes, and I like it already. The campus is beautiful. I’ve picked a few sights I’d like to see before I go back to Richmond.”

  “I’d be happy to show you around,” Jay said.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I said, afraid he thought I was fishing for an offer. “I know how busy you are, and you have a life here. You must have better things to do than be my tour guide.”

  “The offer was genuine. It’s refreshing to have someone closer to my age to talk to, and you seem like a unique person, Grace Ward. I meant it when I said I’d like to get to know you better.”

  “If you insist, then I accept. What do you recommend that we do first?” I asked.

  “Actually, I was going to ask a favor. My niece has a lead role in Othello with a local theater company. Would you mind going with me? I know it’s not what you had in mind for sightseeing, but I’d rather not go alone.”

  “I’d be happy to. Sounds fun,” I said, pleased that he was willing to introduce me to the family.

  “You're just kind, but thanks. We’ll grab a quick dinner beforehand. For now, I’ll leave you in peace,” he said and stood.

  I walked him to the door and thanked him for the ride.

  “My pleasure,” he said and looked in my eyes, and I had no doubt about what he was thinking

  “See you tomorrow,” I said.