The Darker Side Of Me (A Ravana Moon Novel Book 1)

by S. L. Perrine

  Instead, I sauntered up to the fight just as Ravana ran at her opponent. She flung herself at him, her legs flipped up and wrapped around the vampire’s neck, then she was upright again, and the nightwalker was lying in the ground, her silver dagger sliced against its throat. The flesh at the edges of the laceration began to smolder and dissolve like it had been doused with acid. I almost missed her flip around another vampire, and when she removed herself from his body he was strung upside down by a chain wrapped around his ankles.

  “Can’t get enough of me, can you?” I leaned against the building. Casually crossed my arms in front of me.

  “How do you keep finding me?”

  “I just used my GPS. Had it set to bad-ass-bitch.”

  “Massimo, what do you want?”

  “You. Just you.”

  “Well, that’s not going to happen.”

  She turned to walk away from me, but I wanted her to know what she was walking away from. With quick agility, I reached her before she could leave. My arms wrapped around her body, holding her tightly to me. My face close to her hers. Her heels keeping us at a leveled height.

  In a hushed breath, I asked, “Why, why can’t you accept this?”

  “I’ll accept it when I fix you.” She pivoted in my hold and before I could blink I was pinned against the Smith Tower, her forearm pushing my shoulder blades against the building.

  “What do you mean, fix me?”

  “Kyron seems to think this is reversible. If the Ancient One saw fit to make me this way, he can change you as well. If not, then maybe we can find the formula ourselves.”

  “Emerick is not just going to hand it over.”

  She moved two feet away from me. “Emerick? How do you know his name?”

  “He held me captive, working his experiments on me for over a year. How could I not know his name? He held me there afterward, while you got away.” I took a chance and moved next to her again, but didn’t touch her. “How is it you got away?”

  “I didn’t get away. I was abandoned. Much like I want to do to you right now.”

  “You’re willing to fix me, to make me like you, so you can stop denying what is between us. Yet, you can’t even stand to be in my presence this way. Why?”

  “You’re everything I was ever taught to despise. Even though I can’t remember my life before, I remember that. Yet, for some reason, I can’t bring myself to kill you. I have an overwhelming need to take you in me again, but my nature won’t let me.”

  “I don’t have a problem with what I am. I don’t know that I want to be fixed.”

  “Well, then maybe you need to turn off your GPS.” She turned to leave me, but I couldn’t let her have the last word.

  “Maybe you need to just kill me.” I moved to her again. The dagger from her thigh plunged into her hand and I wrapped mine around hers. I held the tip of the blade to my neck with my hand and scratched the skin. I could smell the flesh before I felt the burn.

  I watched as her nostrils flare, her eyes grew wide and glowed and unnatural green. “What are you doing?” she gasped.

  “Kill me.”

  “No.”

  “Why not? All I am is a constant reminder of what you could have become had things been different. The one thing you were raised to loathe. Well, guess what? I was raised the same way. I came to terms with it. If you can’t, you should just kill me now.” I hit my skin once more with the metal in her hand.

  “No.” She pulled her hand from mine and the sound of metal hitting the ground filled the air. I looked at the silver object at my feet, backed up again and she was gone.

  I couldn’t say why I grabbed the damned thing, or why I shoved it in the pocket of my trenchcoat. I just know it was an extension of her that I could keep close. Even if it was something that could kill me. It could kill me, but for some reason, she couldn’t. Or wouldn’t.

  Dust lifted from the blankets piled in a clump on my bed as I let myself fall into them. I didn’t bother to undress. There was really no need. Sure, there was a comfort thing to consider, but I didn’t particularly feel like being comfortable. I stared up at the ceiling. The spackling had split from years of abuse. I suspected my neighbor to be well over three hundred pounds by the way he stomped about. The small spray of white that floated down with each step he took. Some nights I swore I could see the mushrooms growing steadily from the ceiling where the last water leak sprung in the night.

  “Why don’t you live somewhere nicer?”

  I bolted upright at the sound of his voice. The soft hum of his tenor. He was hidden in the shadows. His white teeth glowed from behind red lips. I don’t know how I missed the smell before then. Oh, yes, I do. Ravana. Damn her.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see a friend about a goat.”

  “Don’t piss me off. I’m not in the mood.”

  “Have a little tussle with a certain red-head?” He wiped the fresh blood with a cloth from his chest pocket.

  “I all but offed myself with her hand.”

  “Tsk, tsk.”

  “What do you care? Why are you here anyway?”

  “I just thought you’d like to know a certain red-head is looking for a certain Ancient One.”

  “I know.” I blew out a breath and laid back on my bed. “Now, I know why.”

  “You don’t seem excited.”

  “Ya think? Why would I want that?”

  “To get close to the one thing you can’t have.”

  “I can’t have ice cream, you don’t see me buying a dairy farm. Just get the hell outta here, Sebastián. If she ever saw you here, then I’d really be done for.”

  “Very well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  I sat up again as the breeze from his movements hit my face. “You didn’t,” I yelled but it was no use, he was long gone. “Asshole!”

  Chapter 3

  Ravana

  The tingling wouldn’t go away. It moved in me until I let my fingers roam to my core. I could take care of the problem myself. It was never quite as fun, but it left me sated for a little while. My fingers moved in circles around my clit while I closed my eyes thinking of the one thing that could bring me to the peak of pleasure. “Massimo.” I let his name roll off my tongue.

  I slammed my head back against the wall. My back slithered up and down the surface as my hips moved, bucking against my hand as the pleasure rolled through me in waves. I may not be able to let him in me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t fantasize about it. I kicked my foot at the wall. The heel of my boot the only traction against the vertical source I preferred over the large bed in the center of the room. I slammed my head back again in frustration, and kicked once more, letting my hand move from my sex. The heat and juices lingered on my fingers. I couldn’t get myself to climax. Too much had happened between us. I couldn’t just imagine him thrusting inside of me. Now I found I was dreaming of the day when he and I would be the same. A day where I could claim him as my own and vice versa.

  “Emerick.” I couldn’t remember my time with the man, so how did Massimo have such vivid memories? He said I’d escaped, but that’s not how I remembered it at all.

  I was suffering. In mourning. I remembered that much. There was a man, and he was angry. Looking back now, being what I am, I know he was a nightwalker. I could recall his dark hair and his piercing blue eyes, but he was now as much a mystery to me as my own life was. I couldn’t recall even the simplest of things; my parents’ names, where I grew up, my favorite color, what hobbies I had, or if I’d left anyone behind. It was all gone, had been since I opened my eyes after...after I’d been taken and reawakened.

  I do remember being in a bright room made of stone. The coldness of the table beneath me. The fact that I was bound to it, and all alone for what seemed like days. It was all too much.

  I moved to the top floor of my building. Recalling the moments to lead me to where I am now. It had taken me a few days to realize I was immortal. That I was som
ething unnatural. I couldn’t recall where I’d ever heard those words, but I knew it deep down inside of myself.

  The Ancient One tried to teach me to use my gifts, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t eat from a human, so they fed me live animals. Eventually, seeing me for what I would be, a useless, weak vampire, I was abandoned. Left to die, again. It’d taken years to come to terms with what I was. The aid of a human, and the knowledge that I would live forever made me change who I would be. I wouldn’t spend eternity lurking in the shadows.

  I’m not proud of the things I did in that first year. I refused to feed. I allowed my body to be beaten and broken. Nightwalkers from all over heard of the weak vampire who could be tortured, but never killed. I had learned to enjoy the pain, or else let it break my soul as well. Only when a young male took pity on me did I learn the truth. Feeding on animals for food kept me weak. Human blood was what gave vampires strength and agility. It was their life force. He told me to embrace it, or suffer for eternity. I couldn’t let that happen.

  Finding the small medial building was a saving grace. The nurse who stayed after hours to steal from it was even better. Allowing the woman to hook me to a tube and pour the blood into my veins was how I discovered I never had to use a human for food.

  Once the blood filled me, that’s when everything about me changed. My brown hair turned red from the roots to the ends, getting brighter with every ounce. Only when I had my fill did it stop. My skin changed from the ghostly grey to an alabaster sheen. Then in the comforts of a new friend, I’d been given a new name and a new life.

  I took my fortune, one old dying aristocrat at a time. Honing the skills of my vampiric self, and keeping the vows of my hunter self. I protected those that needed it and killed all that I could, so I could get closer to finding the one who had changed me.

  Eventually, as with the world, everything changed. I took liberties afforded to me by the Order. A group of humans who knew about the things that go bump in the night. The group needed a financial backer to move away from government authority, and I had plenty. I was given access to their wealth of knowledge and they were well funded.

  I made my move from New York to Seattle and purchased a building in Belltown. From my top floor apartment, I could see the top of the Space Needle. Several inhabitants occupied the rest of the building, all except for four floors beneath me. That left fifty floors with rentable space.

  My place was nothing compared to some of the modern living in Seattle. For one I detest stainless steel. Fluids thrown against it makes for such a noticeable mess. The wood floors that stretched from one end of the apartment to the other, I had covered in plush white carpet. I’d lived with hardwood for so long, I found I enjoyed the feeling of comfort over aesthetics.

  Moving to the large black plush sofa on the far side of the living room I placed one foot on the cushion and pulled each of the zippers down, dropping my boots side by side on the floor.

  The room was empty other than a glass coffee table and the large television that was suspended in the middle of the room. Large chains and cables hung from the twenty-foot ceiling. One flick of the switch and the big black box would lift out of sight. From where I stood I could view the living room and kitchen.

  Carpet turned to white porcelain tile separating the two rooms. The kitchen was nestled in the corner of the floor. All the walls were made of glass, allowing me access to see the city below, but affording none to see me. At that height, they’d either be scaling the building or flying. The windows were never tinted. One of many security measures protecting my personal space.

  I dropped my earrings on the countertop of the island. It sat as a small barrier between the rest of the room and the corner kitchen. Black appliances, and white porcelain, a small glass table that sat four, but was never used for more than two.

  Moving to the left side of the large space, I hit the keyboard on my desk letting the little white light pop on. Then moved the mouse to wake it as well. With a touch of the spacebar, the screen came to life, and I heard the front door open and shut as if on cue. The smell of coffee wafted through and tickled my nose.

  Heels clicked across the floor as the little blonde girl moved through the room to the kitchen island. She placed the usual bag and tray on the counter and dropped her keys.

  “Don’t you remember where your room is?”

  “Why? Should I?”

  “Ravana, I’m your Keeper, not your maid.”

  “Well, the last one never minded.”

  “I do.” She pulled her blonde hair from her eyes as she lifted my boots from the floor along with the skirt and shirt I shed beside them. I squared my shoulders and faced her. When she stood and took one look at me her face flushed.

  “Is there a problem, Delia?”

  “No. There is no problem, but perhaps it’s time to consider employing a housekeeper,” she turned to take my things to my room. “And maybe you could put some clothes on.”

  The girl was nervous. She was a small mousy thing. She liked to think she was in charge of our little meetings, but we both knew I could rip her body apart with little effort. Still, the way she trembled when she took me in was enough to keep me standing there in my black lace bra and panties. The red on my toes matched the red of my hair and fingernails. The color of blood. A deep crimson. Not the color of the diluted red most animators thought was entertaining for television, but the thick, deep, rich color you only saw when the cut was fresh. As it pooled and darkened.

  I was contemplating the chair when I heard Delia sigh from behind me. Her fate was sealed as I bent over to take in the images on the screen. I could feel the heat on her face behind me and heard her turn in place.

  “Coffee?”

  “Sure. Thank you.” I reached my hand behind me, not moving otherwise.

  She had no choice to stare at my backside as she placed the hot cup in my outstretched hand.

  “You really have no shame, do you?”

  I stood and turned taking a long pull from the little opening in the cup. “I’m over a hundred years old. So, yes. I have no shame.” I moved back to the screen.

  “Long night?”

  “Yes, and boring. I had to let Kyron live again.”

  I heard the exasperation in her voice as she sat at the table. “We’ve talked about this. The Order wants him gone.”

  I let my left heel rub over the top of my right foot. The marking of the Order tattooed there as a reminder of the deal I made. A small crescent moon with an elaborate V overtop. It was of no consequence to me. I could sear the skin from my body to remove it just as easily as they had given to me. Though it itched every time she brought them up in conversation.

  “He’s an asset. I will not get rid of the eyes and ears of Seattle. I’ve told you and them as much. If you don’t like it, feel free to find someone else to work for you. I’m told there are others you could employ. Others who do know the meaning of the words you speak.”

  “You mean like discipline, respect, following orders?”

  “Yes, those.” I dropped my coffee next to hers and walked to my room.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To sleep. You know that thing you do between waking hours?” I moved into the safety of my room and climbed onto my bed. It was a king size even though I was never accompanied. The canopy hung loosely around me as I slept, in a black wave of silk.

  I moved my hands to my breasts and released the bra that held them captive. I could think only of the man I was trying so hard to avoid. As sleep took me, I realized an important truth in that moment. I was going to save him.

  Chapter 4

  Massimo

  Nunzio’s hazel eyes kept forward, training on his next mark. The shiny silver cross pendant at the man’s neck made him an instant pick. “Why do you insist on torturing yourself?”

  “I must be versed in misery.” I kicked at a stone that had fallen free from the brick wall I slouched against.

  I did not understand why my friend nee
ded to have a conversation while he hunted. That was the thrilling part of being a vampire, or so I’m told. Stalking from the shadows. I do not hunt for food, and lately not for anything else either. As soon as Nunzio spotted the silver cross hanging around the man’s throat he saw nothing else.

  “Seriously, mate. Have a bit of respect for yourself. She wants to fucking fix you. I didn’t realize you were a piece of machinery.”

  Neither did I, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What if they could find a way to change what I am? At least to the point that she’d be able to stand to be in close proximity. “Maybe it’s something to consider.”

  Nunzio punched me in the arm, then ran a hand through his greasy blond hair. How he was able to get close to anyone was baffling. “Do not, I repeat, do not try to change who you are for a piece of ass.

  “Case in point,” he turned to point to the two men shamelessly flirting in a drunken haze just outside the club, “I may not be a human, but I am what I am and that bloke over there will undoubtedly find me a bit odd. That is when I charm him. Making him conform. Not me. A tiger does not change his stripes. He can’t. All he can do is choose a different target. You should pick another. Move on.” His eyes never left the men. He held a finger up to his mouth and breathed out telling me to be quiet. He thought he could teach me a thing or two. He forgot I was much older than he was.

  Nunzio moved over to the men. I could see him waring in his mind. Picking one over the other. He went for the blond. He had a bit more muscle than the other. His hair cut close, a dimple in his chin, which I unfortunately knew, Nunzio found adorable. Nunzio saddled up to them placing a hand on the side of the man’s head feeling the soft hair against his scalp. His fingers moved back and forth and he stared deep into baby blues. The men seemed to be stunned into silence, then the dark-haired gentleman found his voice.

  “We were kinda in the middle of something here.” He sucked his teeth, his fists clenched at his sides. Nunzio didn’t turn to him, but put up a hand.

  "You’re right, you were. Now, you’re not.” Nunzio leaned in between the two, resting his elbow against the building, his hand propped against his head as he spoke low to the man in front of him. “You’re done with him…are you not?” His hazel eyes turned gold for just a second. The man looked over Nunzio like he was a spectacular bit of desert handed to him on a silver platter.