“Or the highway?”
I feel her smile, and I smile to myself.
“Pretty much. Relax.” I kiss her other hip and move my hands back up to her breasts. Already I love touching them, not just feeling them when we hug and not just when we’re playing around. In my hands, I tease her with them rubbing her nipples under my palms and caress and squeeze her until it might hurt.
Her moans grow louder as my breath fans over her throbbing sex, and my fingers tease her nipples to hardened buds. I travel back up her body then, my mouth goes to one nipple suckling her, softly biting as I keep my hand on the other and alternate. Emily moans perfectly like she isn’t trying to sound sexy or trying to sound like anything at all. She is soft and lithe and… and perfect.
“Carson, please, I need you, I want more.” Her fingers tangle in my hair at the nape of my neck.
I look up at her. My hands cup her face, and my thumb draws her bottom lip down as she smiles. I release it and kiss her, softly this time. I splay her lips apart, coax her into a deeper kiss as she inhales deeply. Her thighs wrap me up in a vice, and she pulls back to get my cock right at her entrance. One of her hands moves from my hair and travels down the planes of my chest and abs. I shiver into her kiss when her fingers graze down my body under my belly button stopping at the base of my cock, and her knuckles grazing my hair. So, I guess now she wants to tease me. I bite her lip softly, and she squeals under me and kisses me back the same way.
As much as I want to ride this out and prolong the moment, I want her more. For some reason, I just want her so badly it doesn’t make much sense, but it’s true. It’s truer than anything I have ever felt before, with Emily, with anyone.
When I want to bury and lose myself inside of her, I silently curse myself.
“You know,” I finish my kiss and peel back to look at her licking my lips, “we don’t have condoms,” she whispers. I stare back at her, our breathing clashing as fast as we go.
“I was with you the day you got an IUD.” I chuckle.
“And you don’t have the body count of a male escort?”
I laugh, she giggles softly and arches her brows.
“Wh…no I don’t.”
She smiles and runs her hands up my body again stopping at my pecs. My breathing pushes her hands.
“Okay, maybe you don’t, and maybe I don’t want to stop right now even if there was an earthquake.” Her eyes wander. I get it, deciding against safe sex would be like her ignoring all her secret rules.
“Uh huh.” I kiss her quickly, distracting her for just a moment.
And then I move back down her body taking the pressure off my dripping cock being right there. She hasn’t made up her mind. I don’t think there is even a question here because she trusts me, I know she does. I use a condom with everyone else, and not having one with her wouldn’t make a difference. In fact, considering our history, it would make a hell of a lot more sense.
When I reach her molten center again, I inhale her deeply, and my lips press out to kiss her just like I would the lips on her face. Her moans increase, louder and sharper as my tongue darts out to work her throbbing, hard clit. I taste and tease every inch of her—my lips around her, my tongue inside her and on her clit. I flick her in zig zags in circles, big and small. She fists my hair so tightly it hurts, but I don’t care. I just want to feel her under me, feel her pleasure and her everything.
“Oh God, Carson… you’re really good at this.” She breathes deeply in pants and low moans. I glance up at her and smile against her dripping onto my lips and chin. I don’t think I have ever felt someone this wet before. She is dripping everywhere.
It’s more than me getting her off, holding her under me. It’s like we are meeting, and it’s more than just being together, coming off each other like this. We match each other, and no one is stronger than the other—my hard-on is pretty strong but that doesn’t count—no one is more or less inclined to do this or wants it more. Our wants and needs become the same as does our desires and wishes. Right here and now.
She dissolves into the most beautiful orgasm I have ever seen. She cries out, a moan hitching her breath before she sighs and breaks out into smaller moans as she writhes under me. I keep my lips on her, my tongue laying over her clit just applying pressure as I move just slightly. She tries to tug me away, tries to get me off her, but I don’t. She trembles even more, her breath hitching to a higher level—more of a squeal of delight as I drive her into another quick orgasm, or more like multiple orgasms because I don’t stop and neither does she. I feel her pulsing, and when I reach my hand up to cup her breasts, I feel her heartbeat spiking. Her moans start to sound like she is crying or something, but I know she isn’t—I’ve just driven her out of her mind with orgasms. I wanted to make her forget everything. I wanted her to go off somewhere and take me with her. I just wanted her here, now.
“Carson…” she barely whispers when I pull my mouth from her. I wipe my lips a little bit before I kiss her smiling against her lips.
“I want you now. I need you now.” She moves so my lips drag down her jaw, and her thighs wrap around my waist, so my cock is pressing at her once again.
“Raw?” I chuckle, I know she hates that term.
She smiles, bites her lip to stifle it, and shakes her head in a mocking way. I smile down at her and kiss her softly. I break away to look into her eyes—right through and into her.
“Yeah, I trust you.” Her hands cup my cheek. “It’s like you’re the only person in the world I can trust.” Her voice cracks.
I hold her cheek and lean in close to her, “I don’t ever want to change that.”
I’m not even thinking if this will mess us up, or what it will do to us in any way, at any time. I can’t bring myself to care about it because no matter what, I have Emily—that’s what it feels like. It’s what I know.
So, when I sink inside of her, when I bury myself into her—in a place I never thought I would be—it’s the only time I think twice. But it isn’t like I can stop because we are here now. I want this, I want it badly, I want her too, but everything else…
“Oh God, I thought all those girls were just exaggerating.” Emily breathes out when I’m buried into her to the hilt.
I grin at her before I seal her lips in a kiss. She rocks her hips to meet mine, and I start into a slow thrust, going deeper with her each time and harder, faster. I’m glad we are backward on the bed, so the headboard doesn’t hit the wall because once I get going inside her, I can’t stop. I can’t think of anything other than chasing this high with her. Her arms wrap around me, her nails raking down my back until her hand splays over my ass and clutches me there. I have one hand on her hip, the other holding her thigh over my shoulder so I can get her deeper, so I can actually feel like I am reaching her core. I shove everything else from my mind, every other doubt I thought I was having or might be—because it’s us.
Emily and me. It never came in the same sentence, but right now it is.
My hips drive deeper into her, my cock twitching and growing harder inside her as if that were possible.
“Emily you feel like…” I bury my face in her neck stifling my groans as I kiss her neck and suckle her skin.
“You feel like I’ve been missing something.” I grunt as my cock draws to a higher level, and I feel myself swell with the onslaught of it.
I can hold it at bay, I can wait for her, but when I look into her eyes, and she stares back at me saying with her eyes that she feels the same way, I can’t take it. I fall into her, deeply and completely. As I bottom out inside of her, she does the same clenching around me, drawing everything out of me all at once until I feel like I am empty. I pump through the last of it, through the hot spurts coming out of me and sliding into her.
Her moans die down to sighs, and my breath slows as I collapse onto her. We roll over, and she hugs me tightly, and holds me as I hold her.
As I kiss her, everything left pours out of me as if there is anything
left. But there is for her.
There is because of her.
We break the kiss, stare back to look into each other’s eyes.
“You never do this, do you?” Emily asks me after a while.
“What?” I lean up on my arm. She rolls on her back, her naked body on display and making me crazy again, but I control myself. And I like how comfortable she is around me.
“Look at someone long enough after sex.”
I laugh. “I guess I don’t, and I’m guessing that you do.”
Her smile is shy. She rolls her head back and looks up at the ceiling. I do the same at the boring, plain ceiling.
She reaches for my hand, and I take it in mine holding her tightly.
“What if we wake up tomorrow and regret this?”
“We won’t,” I say back quickly. I think we have been through worse together, had enough reason never to speak to each other again.
“I need you now more than ever. And it just… I never thought I wanted you like this.” She licks her lips trying to hold off more tears. They come anyway sliding down her cheek to the cover under her head.
“Hey, I thought I made these go away.” My playful tone makes her smile. I lean over to see her face as I wipe her tears away.
“I know. Me, too. It’s the hormone surge you have just inflicted on my body.” She wipes her other cheek.
“I don’t want you to cry anymore. I hate seeing you sad. Even while you’re naked and distracting, I don’t want to see you sad.” I smile at her, and she looks over at me and smiles back.
“Thanks… you’re a good friend.”
“Just good?”
She sighs. “Great, wonderful, the best. Happy?”
“Yeah. Happy. Emily?”
I get her to look at me. I stroke her cheek until the tension leaves her shoulders, and her eyes stop looking like she is worried she will see a ghost.
“This won’t change a thing. We can talk about everything later. This doesn’t mean roses and weddings, but it doesn’t mean we’re screwed either. Okay?”
Her bottom lip trembles as she breathes out.
“Okay… but you have to promise.” She hardens her eyes, and I try not to laugh. I know my promises mean a lot to her because I’ve never broken one. I’m a man of my word. I pride myself on it just like Dad did and how he taught me to.
All I want to do is simply say that I promise, but I don’t. I can’t make the words resurface.
“This won’t change anything, Emily. Trust me.” I kiss her forehead and bring her head to my chest, so she doesn’t see my eyes. They give me away, hers give her away too.
But I just can’t lie to her, and right now, I can’t tell her the truth either.
16
Emily
Every possible scenario is running through my head at the same time my body is still throbbing, pining with Carson’s touch.
Carson… I never thought he would touch me the way he did, ever. And now he has.
I stretch out in bed and don’t feel him. I know it is still early because the sun is way too bright for my own good. As I wake up, everything that disappeared in my sleep comes back, everything I wish I could forget.
All I want to do is get to my dad, stay by his side. I sit up too fast and feel sick to my stomach—my head spins, and the cold air hits my bare chest.
I look down and see hickeys, and I don’t know whether to smile or frown. Carson isn’t here, but I tell myself he just went to get food or coffee or both, and not that he ran away. I know he would never just leave, and especially not at a time like this.
I rise from the bed and shower quickly rinsing my mouth and brushing my teeth with what the hotel left. The hot water doesn’t wash anything away from last night—the endless orgasms, the endless kisses, the… his cock. Bigger than I thought, he really has every reason to be arrogant—that, and he knows how to use it. He knew how to drive me out of my mind. For a while, it didn’t feel like my best friend, Carson. I felt so much desire and love, I know not that way but adoration maybe. I don’t know if he was just trying to distract me and trying to get me out of my own head. It worked, but it felt like more than that.
It felt… it felt like I am standing here in the shower, and I don’t know how to stop thinking about being with my best friend.
Once I finish up in the shower, I wrap myself in the towel and go to the mirror to examine myself fully, no hickeys anywhere visible. My eyes close on their own, and I replay him kissing my neck, my chest, worshiping my breasts I always thought were too small, but he made them feel perfect pressed under his hands. The heat of him is still on me, the sheer warmth and comfort of him still surrounds me. It kind of always has but not like this.
I distract myself by trying to untangle my wet hair. I end up just braiding it and settling for that. When I hear some noises in the room, I rush out and find Carson walking in.
“Morning.” He smiles at me.
I smile back. “Good morning. You went… out.” I look over at the two bags he is holding, and the food bag in the other hand. My eyes go to the food first.
“Yeah, just some clothes since we don’t know how long we’ll be here. And breakfast. Dunkin.”
I grin, I love Dunkin.
“Thank you.”
He is dressed in sweats and a tourist t-shirt, his hair all messy and such.
“No problem. How are you feeling?” he asks me.
I sit on the edge of the office chair at the desk by the television holding my towel shut.
“As good as I can be. When do visiting hours start?”
He sits at the edge of the bed and kicks off his shoes.
“Ten. We have about two hours.”
Our eyes meet for the first time in the conversation, and it isn’t awkward at all. It’s more like I want to… to jump his bones. It feels horrible of me, it feels like I don’t have a handle on anything anymore. Dad is sick, the one constant in my life is now up in the air because I can’t control myself. And he didn’t promise.
I have been trying not to think about it, but… he didn’t promise.
“I’m going to shower. I found a GAP down the street.” He points to the bags and stands. I nod at him and smile, and then he is gone behind the door.
Taking a deep breath, I stand and get dressed first. I guess he separated the bags. He got me a few pairs of panties and some black yoga pants with three shirts—gray, pink, and blue. I smile to myself. He might be the only person who knows how to shop for me. Besides the lacy bralette he got, I can’t criticize him too much because it’s as good as perfect.
We’re dressed and leaving within the hour. His jeans and gray shirt finish our casual-as- can-be look. He booked a car to take us to the hospital, and I get that itchy feeling again when we walk inside and go to my dad’s room.
I don’t know what condition he is in, or if he even made it through the night all right. So much is unknown, yet again.
Carson holds my hand, and it feels different this time. He feels like my only lifeline. There is a new nurse at the desk—someone else there to turn my world upside down.
But it doesn’t.
Once I see my dad, he is awake. Oh my God… he’s awake, and I didn’t expect it.
“Dad, you’re up. How are you feeling?” I rush to him, careful around his wires. The bandage is loose on his head, and color is back in his rosy cheeks. Dad has always looked cheerful. He is fit with graying hair, but he used to remind me of Santa Claus, but that was back when I was a kid.
“Emily, you came all the way out here? I’m fine.” He holds my hand tightly.
I smile through my tears—tears of joy this time. “No, you aren’t. You had a stroke, you coded… I love you so much, I was so afraid.” I lean in to hug him as safely as I think I can and kiss his cheek. He keeps me close and kisses my cheek. We share that moment hugging, and it feels amazing. I haven’t seen him in so long, and I didn’t want to see him sick like this, but I can’t change that. I just have to be be
tter from now on.
“I love you, too, Emily.”
We eventually release each other, and I remember Carson is in the room. He greets my dad, shakes his hand, and gives his best wishes.
“You came, too? Are you guys married now or something?” Dad is joking, that’s good, but Carson and I aren’t that quick to deny him.
“No, sir, I’m just the shoulder of comfort,” Carson assures him.
I sit on the chair by Dad’s bed, and Carson stands beside me.
“He flew us down here on one of the company planes. We came as soon as we heard,” I tell him.
His blue eyes soften as he looks at me, the blue eyes that made my eyes hazel instead of just brown.
“Oh, Emily, I didn’t want to worry you.”
“I should have checked on you more, Dad. I’m sorry.” I rub his hand which is warmer than yesterday.
“Sweetheart, that isn’t your job. I’m fine. I was just a little stressed. And old.” He chuckles. He doesn’t have the oxygen wire on anymore or the tubes that were in his head bandage.
“You need your greens and protein. Good health is more important than buying research. Or whatever it is you do.” I laugh a little. He is the guy who tells people whether or not they have their research grants, but since the new job, I’m not sure if that’s the case.
“I work for Colombia, sweetheart, as the Director of Research. I just push papers.” He smiles at me.
“Sounds like what I do.” Carson chuckles, and they laugh together. I don’t remember when last they were together, but it has been a while. Hell, maybe even graduation might have been the last time.
We talk for a little while. Dad fills me in on what happened and everything, but he insists I talk about myself, so I do. When Dr. Thomas comes back, she gives us follow-up instructions. He can leave tomorrow because of how minor his injury was. I know I need to stay until I find a home nurse for him or something to make sure he is taking all his medication and whatnot. Dad wants me to leave, but I just don’t hear it, but I know Carson needs to get back.
“I kept the driver on retainer for you. Whenever you check out, it’s on my card so don’t worry about it. If we weren’t in the middle of this merger, I would stay.” Carson sighs.
Wilde About Carson: The Brothers Wilde Series — Book Three Page 13
