Grace and Glory

by Armentrout, Jennifer L.

  “You sound like a lot of humans,” I said.

  His laugh was dry and short. “But I... I remember what I’ve done,” he said, and guilt threaded his voice. “When I saw you after I Fell?” His eyes closed again. “I knew you. When I saw you, I knew you and your name, and then I just lost those memories. The reason why you were important to me. You were an enemy I had to...” Lines of tension bracketed the skin around his mouth. “I had to dominate. That’s all I knew until you kissed me in the park, and I don’t know how to explain it, but it was like being electrocuted. All of the sudden, I was hit with all these other emotions that weren’t hate, and when I saw you again—in that pool? I still didn’t understand what I was feeling, but all I knew in that moment, was you. All I knew was that I wanted you. That I had wanted you and that was me. Zayne.” His eyes opened then, meeting mine. “I’m just so damn sorry, Trinity. I know what I did. I know how you tried to reach me, and I—”

  “Stop.” I cupped his face with my hands. “Don’t do this to yourself. That wasn’t you.”

  “But it was,” he said quietly, dragging his hands up my arms. “That was me, Trin. I was in there—”

  “And that’s why you never really hurt me.”

  “Never hurt you?” Disbelief joined the guilt. “I threw you around like a rag doll.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” I muttered even though it was true.

  He ignored that. “I threatened you—I threatened you more than once.” His gaze lowered, and when he spoke, his voice cracked. “I had my hands around your neck. I can’t unsee that.”

  My heart wept as I leaned in, pressing my forehead to his. “You are not at fault, Zayne. You have to understand that, and you have to realize what you did do. You could’ve hurt me bad. You could’ve killed me at any point, and you didn’t. That’s because you were in there, right? It was you who stopped. It was you who showed up and killed that Ghoul and it was you who came to the rooftop.”

  “I dropped you in a pool.”

  “I’ll probably punch you for that when you least expect it, but it was you in that pool with me. It was you and whatever you’d become after Falling, and I was there, too. You didn’t do those things to me. We did those things together because I knew you were in there,” I told him. “You might not have known why at the time, but you made sure neither you nor anything else hurt me. You even warned me to stay away from you. You said that—”

  “What was in me would hurt you. It would’ve. Eventually I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself. Hell, when you trapped me, I wanted at you.” His eyes searched mine. “And that part of me was growing stronger every hour.”

  “And it was that part that wanted to throw me around?” I slipped my fingers into his hair. “I mean, I can get pretty annoying, so that’s probably not the first time.”

  “It was.” He shuddered. “Even when you are being especially annoying.”

  “I know.” Of course I did. I could probably kick Zayne in the face, and he would sigh with disappointment. Why? Because he was good to the core. I leaned back so that I could see his face. “But that part of you that was still in there stopped it from happening. That is all that matters. That is all that can matter. Do you know why?”

  “Why?”

  “Because you were given back your Glory—an angelic soul—and you Fell for me. I don’t know if I should punch you or kiss you. You gave up being an actual angel to be with me. You Fell, taking a huge risk, to be with me, and you’re here. You came back to me.”

  “Because of you. You brought me back.” He slid his hands back up my arms, leaving a trail of shivers in their wake. “What did you do? I was out there, contemplating another round of arson on another demon hole,” he said, and I blinked. “And then there was this uncontrollable urge to come here. How did you know what to do?”

  “After you first showed up here, I was led to this church by a voice in my head, and yes, that was as creepy as it sounds. I thought I was losing my mind, but I wasn’t. A Throne met me at the church. He told me what I needed to do.” I let his hair sift through my fingers as I soaked in every line of his face. “He said my grace would never harm what I cherished, but I was scared. I wanted to believe it would work. I needed to believe that, and there were moments that I did, but...” A bit of the panic crept back in. “But I had to try. I kept telling myself that if it didn’t work, it was still the right thing. That you...”

  “Wouldn’t want to be left in that state?” he finished for me. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have.”

  His agreement should’ve made me feel better, but it didn’t. The idea that I could’ve killed him made me want to vomit. “I knew I needed to lure you out and somehow trap you, and I finally thought of the Crone. She gave it to me—actually, she had it ready for me. She knew. Well, there was this kid with her. He’s a seer. He knew, and told her, and anyway, she gave me a spell, and it worked.”

  His brows lifted. “She just gave it to you? Don’t get me wrong. I’m appreciative. More than I can put into words. But a witch never just gives anything away for free.”

  “They don’t.” I dropped my hands to his shoulders. “She did it in exchange for one of your feathers.”

  He stared at me.

  “She gave me the impression that she wasn’t going to use it for something bad, and I believe her.” I paused. “Kind of. Truth is, I would’ve made the deal as long as she promised it wouldn’t hurt you, and she did. And I know you probably don’t agree with that and I get it. I do, but—”

  “It’s okay.” He lifted his hand slowly, making sure I saw him before he touched my cheek, and I almost started crying again. That was further proof that this was my Zayne. “I would’ve done the same thing—would’ve agreed to anything.” He gently traced the line of my cheek. “What I was like is going to get to me and it’s going to sit in the back of my mind. I’m sure some moments are going to be worse than others, but I’m going to deal with it. I’ll make sure of it, because enough has already gotten between us.”

  “That is so true,” I whispered. We had so many hurdles between us, and I wanted our very own happily-ever-after, like the ones in the romance books my mom had loved. We didn’t need to be our own obstacles.

  His fingers stilled near where my jaw was still slightly swollen and bruised. “Is my touching you causing you any pain?”

  “No. I don’t feel anything bad right now.”

  “You look...more banged up than the last time I saw you.”

  “Well.” I drew the word out. “I sort of had a run-in with Gabriel.”

  Every part of him seemed to grow impossibly still. “When?”

  “Last night.” I quickly told him what happened. “Good news, no one is going to be allowed in that school for a while, and I think he’s weakened somehow.”

  “I should’ve been there.”

  “You’re here now. That’s all that matters,” I told him. “I’m not hurt. Seriously.”

  He gave a small shake of his head as his gaze continued to trek over my features. “I can’t believe that. Not when you...” He looked up briefly, his chest rising with a deep breath, and when his gaze met mine again, I would swear the glow behind his eyes was brighter. “How are you up, walking around so quickly?” His gaze traveled the length of my arm, to the numerous bruises that were now barely visible. Then his eyes narrowed. “Better yet, what in the Hell were you even doing here by yourself the night I came back? Even right now?”

  I recognized that tone. He sounded just like he had the night I leaped from rooftop to rooftop without warning.

  “You really shouldn’t be out here alone. Not with Gabriel still out there,” he continued. “He sent those demons after you. Shit. They were at the apartment.”

  He had that same tone when I roamed off ahead of him in an unfamiliar area.

  “At least the other night Dez was with you.�
� A slight frown pulled at his lips. “Is Dez okay? I think I—”

  “Threw him into a fountain? Yes. He’s fine.”

  Zayne sighed. “Good, but where in the Hell is Roth? Layla? You shouldn’t be out here, Trin. Not alone when you’re not fully healed, and I know you’re not fully healed. I can tell. I can feel that your grace has been weakened.”

  Okay, his ability to sense that was annoying, because it was true, but Zayne sounded like he was gearing up for a lecture of epic proportions, and I couldn’t even be mad. The corners of my lips curled, and it felt weird and right and wonderful all at the same time.

  “And why are you smiling?” he demanded, disbelief filling his tone once more.

  A shaky laugh left me. “I just never thought I’d hear you lecture me again and enjoy it.”

  “Try to remember that the next time I do.”

  I probably wouldn’t.

  “I...” I drew in shallow breath. “When you died, I thought I would never see you again.”

  Every line of his face softened. “What did I promise you? If something happened, I would find my way back to you.”

  His face blurred again, and had everything to do with the tears filling them. “I still can’t believe you Fell for me.”

  “The Glory was nothing compared to your love.” He leaned in, resting his forehead with the barest weight against mine. His breath coasted over my lips as he tucked strands of hair that had escaped my braid back from my face. “I did everything that I could. You did everything that you could. I love you, Trinity, and not even death can break that kind of bond.”

  The bond.

  I pulled back a little. “I don’t feel you,” I said, and his brows lowered. “I mean, I haven’t felt the Protector bond. I haven’t felt the little, fuzzy ball of warmth in my chest since you came back.”

  “Little, fuzzy ball of warmth?” he repeated quietly.

  “And I... I haven’t felt any of your emotions.” It wasn’t like I was just realizing that. There just hadn’t been any time to really think about it. “We’re not bonded anymore.”

  “No, we’re not.”

  I stared at him, at the unearthly glow of light behind his pupils. “That’s good news. I can’t weaken you again and we can be together.”

  “Me being your Protector hadn’t really stopped us from being together in the first place,” he replied dryly, and he was sort of right. It had only delayed the inevitable, but it hadn’t been wise. He’d become virtually human. “But there are no rules. Definitely none of the angelic variety. I’m still a... I’m still a Fallen. Just not...”

  “Psychotic?”

  “Yeah, just not that.” He ran the length of my braid through his hand. “Is a Trueborn going to want a Fallen?”

  “I always want you, no matter what you are,” I said earnestly, and his answering smile filled my chest with a sweet, sweeping motion. “But I do kind of miss that little, fuzzy ball of—”

  Zayne reclaimed the distance between us, and in one stuttered heartbeat, his lips met mine. He kissed me, and it never ceased to amaze me, the riot of sensations that one single touch could drum up. The taste of him on my lips, on my tongue, was a balm for all the rough, ragged patches scarring my soul, and an awakening. The press of his mouth to mine was gentle, but there was an edge to it, a restraint that was so close to breaking. I knew he was trying to be careful even though he hadn’t thought to be that way in the pool, but that hadn’t been just him. This was only Zayne. I didn’t want him to be restrained. I wanted him, all he had to offer—

  Zayne pulled back suddenly, stiffening at the same second an explosion of tingles erupted along the nape of my neck. I stared at him, still a little dazed from his kiss. “You...you feel it, don’t you?”

  His gaze moved beyond me. “A demon is near.”

  I opened my mouth, and out of all the stuff I could’ve said, the stupidest thing spilled out of my mouth. “Demons don’t come to the park because of the zoo. Roth said so.”

  “Roth doesn’t know everything.” Zayne rose swiftly, bringing me with him. He gently sat me on my feet behind him. I blinked, wondering how he’d managed that maneuver and sort of jealous that he’d been able to when he said, “Stay put.”

  I turned around. “But—”

  “You’re hurt. I’m not.”

  “I’m not hurt. I’m the Trueborn—oh God,” I groaned, nose scrunching as the scent of sulfur and decay reached us.

  “The smell,” Zayne confirmed.

  I squinted as a dark shape appeared from out of the tree line across from the path. Whatever it was, the thing was at least seven feet tall, and smelled like the bowels of Hell on a bad day. Grace sparked inside me. The only demons I knew who were that tall and smelled that bad were the kind not allowed topside for obvious reasons. I really hoped it wasn’t another Ghoul.

  The thing crossed under the lamppost, and I sighed, recognizing its moonstone-colored skin.

  Nightcrawler.

  Which was worse than a Ghoul.

  That was the kind of demon one didn’t want to tangle with. They were extraordinarily strong and they carried a toxic venom in their mouth and claws that could render a person paralyzed, but this one was...chained? The metal circled its neck and clanged against the ground, and at the end of the chain...

  The pressure at the nape of my neck intensified, and within a heartbeat I could make out the shape of another form. This one wasn’t as tall or broad, but instinct told me it was far more dangerous than the Nightcrawler.

  As if it were out for an evening stroll, it slowly crested the embankment and passed through the lamplight. His features were blurry, but I knew he had to be painfully beautiful.

  All Upper Level demons were.

  I frowned as I realized he held the end of the chain.

  “Are you actually walking a Nightcrawler?” Zayne asked, and my brows lifted. I was seriously wondering the same thing, and I was glad he’d asked.

  The Upper Level demon laughed, but the Nightcrawler didn’t find the comment amusing. A low, rumbling growl radiated from the rabid creature, raising the tiny hairs all over my body.

  “My name is Purson,” the Upper Level demon announced in a voice full of brimstone and smoke. “I’m the Great King of Hell, commander of twenty-two legions of pet Nightcrawlers, and I’m here for the nephilim.”

  17

  Iinhaled deeply and then slowly exhaled. “No one uses nephilim anymore,” I said for what had to be the millionth time in my life. “It’s offensive and outdated.”

  “Do I look like someone who cares if you find it offensive or outdated?” Purson said, and I was going to go out on a limb and say no. “I’m not.”

  “Shocker,” I muttered.

  He ignored that. “I want to make it very clear who I am so there is no unnecessary drama.”

  Him talking sure felt like a whole lot of unnecessary drama.

  “I’m the finder of hidden treasures and knower of secrets. There is nowhere you can hide that I won’t discover.”

  “So, you’re the Indiana Jones of demons?” I asked. “Cool.”

  “Indiana Jones?” the demon repeated. “I don’t who that is.”

  My brows lifted. “You don’t know who Indiana Jones is, and I’m supposed to believe that you’re the knower of secrets and finder of things?”

  “I don’t care what you believe. If you run from me, you won’t make it far,” Purson warned. “You’ll just irritate me, and you don’t—”

  “Shut up.” Zayne cut him off. “I don’t have the time for this. I was just reunited with my girl, and you’re really ruining the moment.”

  Slowly, I looked at Zayne—

  Oh.

  Oh, wow.

  I saw his back sans wings for the first time. With just the moonlight, I could make out an odd pattern along his back that had
n’t been there before. It looked sort of like a tattoo with ink only a degree or so darker than his skin, but it...it appeared raised, like a scar.

  “I don’t know who you are.” Purson sounded curious, and that was interesting. He couldn’t tell what Zayne was, but the Seeker demon had. It had run, but Zayne had the wings out then. “You feel...different and yet familiar. It would be very intriguing to explore, but you’re standing between me and what I need. Therefore, you’re nothing but his personal chew toy.”

  The Nightcrawler let out a chuffing laugh. “I like to gnaw on things I’m not supposed to.”

  “Sorry,” Zayne replied. “I’m a one-person, personal chew toy, and I belong to her, so I’m going to have to pass on the offer. Appreciated, though.”

  “I didn’t say you had a choice,” Purson snapped.

  I needed to be paying attention, but the pattern along Zayne’s back fascinated me. Because I had absolutely no control over myself or the common sense that dictated that now wasn’t the time for such nonsense, I reached out to touch—

  “I got this,” Zayne said to me.

  A golden fire lit the veins under his skin, racing across his back. I jerked my hand back in surprise, my mouth falling open as the grace rushed down his right and left arms, flowing under the skin and then firing into the air.

  Heavenly fire spilled from his hands, churning and spiraling, taking shape and solidifying rapidly. Two burning handles. Two four-foot flaming blades shaped in a semicircle.

  The Nightcrawler jerked back a step.

  So did I.

  Holy crap, he had that inside him this whole time? Even when he was a Fallen determined to dominate me, he hadn’t whipped his grace out like that.

  “What was it that you said?” Zayne asked casually. “I don’t have a choice? We all have choices. Well, except for you. You definitely don’t have one when it comes to living or dying. You’re going to die.”

  It happened so quickly.

  Purson let go of the chain, and the Nightcrawler rushed forward, but Zayne was...he was like a bolt of lightning, and I didn’t think that even with 20/20 vision I would’ve tracked his movements. He was in front of me and then he was dipping under the Nightcrawler’s outstretched arm and popping up behind it—