Grace and Glory

by Armentrout, Jennifer L.

  Referring to a child as “it” was probably another good indication that I should not even be considering a child.

  “He’s right,” Dez chimed in with that voice—that too-gentle one. My back stiffened, and I immediately regretted going to Dez about the whole baby thing, because I now recognized that voice. “It’s too dangerous, Trinity.”

  I opened my mouth, but snapped it shut as my stomach decided to take another dip all the way to the floor. Was Dez weighing in because he’d discovered something? Panic blossomed in my chest, but I shut that down before it could take root. Even if Trueborns could reproduce, that didn’t mean I was automatically pregnant after having unprotected sex one time. My reproductive system wasn’t a bad Sex Ed video. I needed to calm down.

  Because pregnant or not, I still had a duty, a dangerous one, and Zayne needed to understand that.

  “I know what the risks are. All of them.” I placed my hands over his. “And you know what the risks are if we fail. Even if we managed to disrupt the ley lines, we still have to deal with Gabriel. He has to be stopped, because he won’t. He’ll keep killing and he’ll keep plotting. You know that.”

  His jaw hardened. “I do.”

  “We just need to be careful.”

  “That’s what I’m saying.” His gaze searched mine. “Getting yourself caught isn’t being careful.”

  “It’s better than getting captured unprepared,” I pointed out.

  “He’s not going to capture you,” he swore.

  I leaned in so our faces were only inches apart. “We need all the upper hands we can get, Zayne. Setting a trap is one way.”

  “She’s right,” Danika said.

  I sent her a quick smile. “Thank—”

  “And kind of not,” she added, and my eyes narrowed. “We can set a trap, not for him to take her, but to lure him out.”

  Zayne held my gaze for a moment longer and then straightened, glancing at Danika. “I like the sound of this better, but how can we lure him? I doubt he’ll come for her himself again. He’ll send demons.”

  “You say he’s really arrogant, right?”

  “And slightly unhinged,” I said, and Zayne arched a brow. “Okay. He’s a lot unhinged.”

  “I know a lot of arrogant males.” She paused. “Obviously. You can get them to do just about anything simply by goading them. I doubt Gabriel will be much better. Kill the demons that come for you and then send one back with a message that he’d be a coward to refuse. We can still put a tracer on her in case things go south.”

  “I don’t know if I should be worried about being included in that generalization,” Nicolai said. “But do we really think he’s that foolish?”

  I toed myself around, toward Danika. “We are talking about the archangel who referred to Instagram as Picture Book, so yeah, I think he’s that foolish.”

  But it was the kind of plan that would possibly take multiple attempts. One that hinged on keeping a demon alive, which wasn’t exactly easy when you wanted to kill them.

  They stayed for a bit after that, discussing how to move the gemstones into the school, and of course, the idea of Lucifer coming topside. None of them seemed to know how to process that, and I couldn’t blame them. After Zayne promising he would swing by the compound for dinner, which seemed really out of place with the rest of our topics, they started for the door.

  Dez hung back, though. “I’ll meet you guys in the garage in a few minutes.”

  A curious look settled over Danika’s face as Nicolai guided her out the door. I was still sitting on the bar stool when the elevator doors slid shut behind them. Honestly, I was frozen there, because I knew why he was staying behind.

  “So.” Dez dragged the word out as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

  “I know.” Zayne stood behind me as he curled his arm loosely around my shoulders. “What you were supposed to ask Gideon about.”

  Dez nodded as he moved closer. His features became clearer. “Gideon has been so wrapped up in disrupting the ley lines that he didn’t ask too many questions when I went to him about a Trueborn’s ability to reproduce.”

  It was the strangest thing as I sat there. My heart wasn’t pounding. My stomach was settled. I was just prepared, at least on a surface level, to hear whatever it was he was going to say. “Was he able to find anything?”

  “He pulled out some dusty old books he knew referenced Trueborns. Took him a couple of hours to go through what he has on hand,” Dez explained. “But I have either an answer or no answer, depending on the way you look at it. He could find nothing referencing any Trueborn having a child.”

  There was no loosening of the tension nor any tightening. “That could mean that no Trueborn has ever had a child or none was ever recorded.”

  “Yes, but it would seem strange for there to be no mention at all,” Dez said. “I think you’re going to have to find out the old-fashioned way. They make tests now that can tell you yes or no within a day or so of conception.”

  I nodded slowly.

  “Thank you for looking into it,” Zayne said, the warmth of him pressing against my back.

  “No problem. I just wish I had more of a clear answer,” he said, and I could see a faint curve of his lips. “And that this was happening during easier times.”

  “I think we can all agree on that,” Zayne replied.

  “Depending on what you all find out, let me know? When you’re ready? And if it’s a yes, call me when you flip out, Zayne. Trust me when I say that’s definitely going to happen.”

  Zayne must’ve nodded behind me, because Dez started to turn to the door but then stopped. “Oh, and, Trin, he checked out that name you were asking about.”

  I blinked, seeming to come out of a stupor. “Any more information on that front?”

  “Actually, yeah, there is,” Dez said. “Luckily this apartment requires names of all occupants to be listed on file, including children. He looked at current and the last decade or so. There’s no Gena or any variation of that name that Gideon could find on any records listed here.”

  24

  “What is the Gena thing about?” Zayne asked after Dez left.

  “The girl that Peanut has supposedly been hanging out with.” I turned to where Zayne leaned against the back of the couch. “He told me her name is Gena, and other than things being weird with her parents, he’s been really vague about her. I wanted to check in on her to see if everything is on the up-and-up, but apparently she’s not real?”

  “Or he gave you a fake name.” He crossed his legs at the ankles. “But why would he do that?”

  “I have no idea.” I shook my head. “Usually he’s into oversharing about everything, but he’s been acting weird since we came here. He’s been disappearing for longer and longer times.”

  “He didn’t come and go when he was with you in the Potomac Highlands?”

  “He did, but he was around more.” I thought about what Peanut told me when I saw him last. “He did say something weird happened to him, roughly around the time I think you Fell. He said he was sucked into what he thinks was purgatory for a few moments.”

  “Okay. I wasn’t expecting that.”

  “Neither was I.” I rose from the bar stool. “And I have no idea if what happened to him was somehow related to your Fall.”

  “I don’t, either.” Zayne brushed his hair behind his ear. “But maybe my Fall created some kind of momentary pull?”

  “Maybe,” I murmured, lifting my gaze to his. He watched me closely, and I exhaled loudly. “We need to talk, don’t we?”

  He nodded. “Yep.”

  “Do I get to pretend that I have no idea what you want to talk about?”

  One side of his lips curved up. “I’m surprised you’re not already yelling at me for not backing you up on your poorly thought through plan.”

  I s
tared at him blandly. “I wasn’t going to yell at you, but now I’m rethinking that.”

  “It’s too much of a risk, Trin. Even if there was no chance of you being pregnant.”

  There was a whooshing motion in my stomach. “And like I said before, everything we do is a risk. Using myself as bait is the quickest way to get to Gabriel.”

  “And stupidest—”

  “Do you want me to yell at you? Because I’m getting pretty close to that happening.”

  “Sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. “But too many things could go wrong with that.”

  “And too many things could go wrong with Danika’s idea, starting with it not working at all.”

  His brows lowered. “You sounded like you were on board with her idea when she talked about it.”

  “I’m not against it. I just don’t think that’s the fastest way to get to Gabriel. How many demons will we have to kill to find the one who will carry the message back?” I folded my arms across my chest. “And while I do think Gabriel is arrogant enough to rise to the challenge, I don’t know if any demon we leave alive will actually risk Gabriel killing them to deliver the message. They’ll probably run for the hills.”

  “That might happen, but Gabriel has to come for you before the Transfiguration. If we end up killing every demon or they end up running, he will get desperate enough to come for you himself,” Zayne reasoned.

  “And you’re not worried that will be cutting it real close to the Transfiguration? All he needs is my blood, Zayne. He manages to get me near that portal and draws my blood? Then what?” I lifted a shoulder. “We need to take him out before the Transfiguration.”

  “I agree with the latter, but I can’t get behind letting you get captured.” Uncrossing his ankles, he pushed off the back of the couch. “And it doesn’t have anything to do with you possibly being pregnant.”

  “It really doesn’t?” I lifted my chin as he stopped in front of me. “Are you sure you’d be this against it if there was no chance of me being pregnant?”

  “Yes.” There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation there. “The mere idea of you being in Gabriel’s hands or anywhere near Bael makes me want to destroy something—something very large.” Slowly, so that I saw him, he lifted his hand and fixed my cockeyed glasses. “And if you think it’s because I believe you can’t handle yourself, you’re wrong. I know you can, but—”

  “You do realize that anything that comes before the word but is basically nullified, right?”

  “But,” he repeated, lowering his hand to the nape of my neck, “Gabriel knows that, too. He knows you can fight. He’ll be prepared for that.”

  “Will he be prepared for it being a trap? Doubtful.”

  “Would you be okay with me being used as bait?” he asked instead. “If it were me who was being tagged with a tracer that can fail and being taken only God knows where?”

  I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t get the word yes out of my mouth.

  Zayne’s eyes searched mine. “You wouldn’t be. Not because you think I can’t defend myself, but for the same reasons as me. You couldn’t bear the idea of me being in the hands of a being that could kill me, because you love me, and because of that, you would want to try every other avenue first before you put my life in jeopardy.”

  Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. “You’re right, and that annoys me greatly.”

  “I know it does.” A grin appeared.

  “Smiling doesn’t help.” I moved in closer, resting my cheek against his chest. The placement caused my glasses to go askew once more, but I didn’t care. “Okay. We’ll try the other avenues first, but if they don’t work, then we have to do it this way.”

  “Even though I don’t like it, I can agree with that.” He folded his arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head. “Sometimes I wish you weren’t so damn brave.”

  I smiled at that. “The feeling is mutual.”

  His arms tightened around me. “What do you think about what Dez had to say about Gideon not being able to find anything on Trueborns reproducing?” he asked after a few moments.

  “I don’t know what I think or what to think,” I admitted, closing my eyes. “What about you?”

  “The same.” He dragged a hand up my back. “I think we need to get one of those tests.”

  “Yeah, I think we do, too.” I pulled back, smiling a little when he fixed my glasses yet again. “But there’s something else we need to do first. We have to go see the Crone.”

  * * *

  Zayne used my phone to call Stacey—who he’d grown close to after his father’s death and the fallout with Layla. When I thought about how jealous I’d been when I’d discovered them in the ice cream shop, I sort of wanted to punch myself in the actual face. I tried to give him a little space because I was sure it would be an emotional call, but he tugged me down to where he sat on the couch, holding me close. The whole time he spoke with her, he smoothed his hand through my hair and down my back. Every so often, he would stop and drop a kiss on my temple or my forehead, and I... I soaked up the affection like a happy little sponge. He seemed to need to be as close to me as I needed the same from him, and I imagined the trauma of the last several days drove the desire. Stacey wanted to see Zayne, and I couldn’t blame her for that. I could tell just from what he was saying that she was shocked, but Zayne felt it was too risky. He was right. Gabriel might not know Zayne was back yet, but he would, and I wouldn’t put it past the archangel to go after anyone close to either of us.

  After the call, we’d decided it was best if we went ahead and removed one of his feathers while in the apartment. That prevented Zayne from having to do the show-and-tell with his wings with the Crone and any other witch present. It wasn’t that we didn’t trust her...

  Okay, we didn’t trust her.

  It wasn’t anything personal. We just didn’t trust any witch.

  Of course, when he tugged his shirt off and his wings unfurled, I got a little distracted staring at them. Dragging my gaze from one graceful arch, I got down to business. “So how do we do this?”

  “You can just grab one,” he offered.

  “Wait. What? You want me to do what?” My brows flew up. “Just yank one out?”

  He shrugged. “Or I can do it.”

  “Yeah, you should do it.” I wrinkled my nose. “Because nope, I can’t.”

  “It’s not like I’m suggesting that you pull off a toenail.”

  “Ew,” I muttered as he swept a wing forward.

  Laughing softly, he ran his fingers through the underside of his wing. “Just one?”

  I nodded. “Make it a small one.”

  He shot me a grin as he curled a finger around a feather. “You may want to look away.”

  Not even bothering to pretend like I could stomach it, I focused on the somewhat decluttered kitchen counter. “You know when we were in the pool and I went to touch your wings? You didn’t seem to like it then.”

  “That’s a random question.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m trying to not focus—” There was a soft snapping sound and I flinched. “On that.”

  “Barely even hurt,” he replied. “You can look now.”

  Peeking over at him, I saw that his wings were folded back. He held a feather the size of his palm in his hand. Could’ve just been my eyes, but the feather appeared to glow faintly.

  “The reason why I stopped you in the pool had nothing to do with my feathers,” he told me, drawing my gaze to his. “Grab a ziplock baggie for the feather.”

  “There’s something extremely wrong with putting a feather in a ziplock baggie.” Pivoting, I walked over to the small pantry built into the cabinets. “So why did you stop me, then?”

  “When I was with you, in the pool? For a few minutes, I didn’t feel...exposed to all that hate and bitterness. All I felt were my o
wn emotions. I was quiet. Calm,” he explained. “But then I started to feel those things again. It was insidious, like a snake slithering through my veins, and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  My heart twisted as I opened the pantry door and grabbed a baggie out of the box. I turned to him. “Do you feel that now? The hate and bitterness?”

  “Not like that since I came to after you used the Sword of Michael. But I can still feel others’...intent. Their darkest secrets. But it’s controllable.”

  “What do you mean?” I walked the baggie over to him.

  “It’s hard to explain.” He took it from me. “But it kind of reminds me of what Layla can do with seeing auras—the color of people’s souls. It’s like that, but I just feel their intent if I want to.”

  My brows lifted. “Like how? You just look at them, and bam, you know if they’re good or bad or something in between?”

  “I just have to focus on them—I have to want to know.” He slipped the luminous feather into the baggie, then sealed the top. “One of the angels explained that I would be able to feel the true intentions of mortals. That all angels can. I guess that is a part of the reason that when an angel Falls, that sense is overwhelmed. It wasn’t until we were in the Uber with the driver that I even remembered. And that was because I realized I wasn’t feeling his intentions when before I felt everything without even trying.”

  “That had to be...God, that had to be overwhelming.”

  “It was, but with the driver, I wasn’t being bombarded, and that’s when I remembered what the angel told me,” he explained. “So I tried it out and he was right. I just had to want to know and focus.”

  “So, what did you find out?” Curiosity got the best of me.

  “The driver was a good man.”

  “Happy to hear that since he was all about clutching the cross when we left the car.” I glanced at his wings, but resisted the urge to reach out and stroke one. “So, what you really mean when you say you feel their intentions is that you’re feeling their souls.”

  His wings tucked back and then disappeared as he handed the baggie to me. “It just...feels weird to say that.”