Loving Her

by Hutton, CM

  “I pretty sure she wanted me to stay the night and snuggled right up next to that fine ass, but as soon as she gave me a tiny little out…dude, I bailed. She seemed totally cool with it, though.” Jack needed a good ass whipping. He didn’t know fuck about women.

  Mystery man asked, “So are you going over there tonight?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. I’ve already won so why put in the effort? I’ll see how the day goes and decide later.” I needed to warn Jen, but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t tell her what I was hearing. It would crush her…it would crush anyone. Why the hell did she let Jack fucking Woods into her bed?

  I’d had enough of his bullshit. I stepped into the breakroom and scowled at both men. They looked at each other and then at me. I could see the wheels turning in their heads wondering what I’d heard. I had to say something, but I wasn’t sure what.

  Instead, I decided to just stare at each of them for several long seconds and let them wonder what I was thinking. I now knew the other voice was some prick from accounting. I wanted to handle this the best I could, so I thought about it and made the decision to call each of them into my office later and tell them their bullshit wasn’t going to fly around my office. I was their boss, after all, and even though I’d never felt the need to throw my weight around, this was unprofessional and completely unacceptable.

  I walked back to my office and tried to come up with a plan for talking to Jen. I knew I could find her easily enough since I knew where she worked. But, what on earth would I say to her? She might not believe me, but I had to try. The thought of Jack fucking her not only pissed me off, but made me feel sick.

  I couldn’t concentrate all afternoon thinking of her. At four o’clock, I manned up, grabbed my balls and called Sullivan & Jackson.

  I asked for Jen and was patched through to her phone.

  “This is Jen. How can I help you?” She asked.

  “Um, hi Jen. This is Rylan Daniels. We met at the dinner on Friday? Not sure if you remember me, but….” She interrupted.

  “Yes, Rylan. I remember you. What can I do for you?” She was short with me.

  “Well, I was wondering….or needed to talk to….about something……it’s important….” Shit! I couldn’t get my words out.

  “What is it Rylan? I don’t have a lot of time right now. Spit it out, please.” Maybe I should just let her figure it out. She seemed to handle herself just fine.

  Crap…I have to tell her. “Look, Jen. I was wondering if you would like to have a drink with me sometime.”

  There was a long pause. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. Um, well, okay….I guess.” Huh?

  “Oh, okay. Well how about tonight?” I should get this over with.

  “Rylan, I’m not sure if I’m available tonight.” Yeah, cause you are going to let that bastard Jack back in your bed if he calls.

  “I’d really like it to be tonight, if you can make it.”

  “I’m just not sure.” She sat silent for a moment. “Why do you want to have a drink with me? We don’t really know each other.” Knowing what I knew, that didn’t seem to be an issue for her. Yeah, shit thing to think.

  “Yeah, well I just thought you were interesting and maybe I could pick your brain a little about some projects I’m working on.” That sounded feasible, right?

  “Rylan, can I call you back in just a few minutes? I have another call holding that requires my attention.” It had better not be Jack, the bastard.

  “Sure. Do you need my number?”

  “No. I know where you work and I can look up the main number, Rylan.” I swear there was a grin on her face when she said that.

  “Okay….sure. Talk to you soon.” I hung up wondering what the hell I was doing. I tried to tell myself that I was doing what was right by another human being. But, let’s face it….Jen Bailey wasn’t just another human being and I wasn’t doing this to be altruistic. I was doing it because I cared about Jen Bailey and it not only made me feel guilty….it scared the hell out of me.

  I sat at my desk for several long minutes and thought about my next move. I needed to distract Jack from going to her after work, so I buzzed his office and asked him to come to mine.

  As soon as he walked in, I couldn’t help but to feel rage build in my gut. “Hi, Jack. Thanks for coming.” Well, now what?

  “Yeah, no problem. What can I do for you Rylan?” I had thought about this the whole day. I needed him distracted from Jen and a little issue in our Sacramento office might need Jack’s expertise.

  “Well, I need you to fly out to Sacramento tonight and sit in on a meeting with a new client that has been rather difficult to deal with. I’ve been getting calls all week about Jon Everly and his demands from the people in that office and I need someone to just go mediate what is happening.” All true….I had planned to go myself, but Jack would do just fine.

  “Oh, um….okay. I had some plans tonight, but if you really need me to do this, I can.” That a’boy, Jack! Be a team player. I hated to admit it in lieu of recent events, but Jack really was good at his job.

  “Thank you, Jack. I know you are the man for the job.” Yep, and I would be letting Jen know what a job you did on her!

  When he left my office, I sat back in my chair and smiled. I felt proud of myself….stupid, really…..but proud just the same.

  I waited an hour before I called Jen again. She hadn’t called me to say she was free, so I took it upon myself to call and ask again.

  She answered on the first ring and sounded irritated. “This is Jen.”

  “Hi, Jen. Rylan again. I wanted to check back with you to see if you were…..”

  She interrupted. “Yes, Rylan. I can meet you. What time and where?” She was pissed. I guess Jack had blown her off. She probably didn’t believe he had business to tend to.

  “Um, how about The Posiedon? Drinks out on the patio at seven?” I swear I heard her gasp or something when I mentioned the restaurant.

  “Yeah, okay. I’ll see you at seven.” She hung up before I could say anything else. I had exactly four hours to get my thoughts together before I met Jen.

  Chapter 7 – Jen

  Men sucked! I wanted to see Jack again, but he was supposedly flying out of town for business. That didn’t sound right, even though he said it was a last minute thing. I had a great night with him, but there was still this little small niggling thing in my head. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

  I really didn’t want to meet Rylan for drinks, but for some reason, I couldn’t resist. He was such a recluse that if he took the time to seek me out and ask my opinion, there was no way I could refuse.

  I was sort of glad plans fell through with Jack, because I would have felt bad telling Rylan Daniels ‘no.’

  I wrapped up my work and set off toward the restaurant. It made me think of Jack and I worked to push him from my memory.

  I walked in fifteen minutes early and found Rylan on the patio waiting for me. Eager much, dude?

  He stood as I approached and gave a half smile. “Hi, Jen. It’s good to see you again.” He was extending his hand, not trying to hug me like most men do. Hmm….curious.

  “Hello, Rylan. I’m good.” We sat and stared at each other for a few seconds before the waiter approached.

  “What can I get for you guys?” Sweet thing was about twenty two and way too happy.

  “I’ll take a Merlot, please.” I had to stick with my usual to keep my head. I looked to Rylan, who was intently watching me.

  “I’ll take a beer….a Heineken, please.” Beer guy, hmm….he struck me as a hard liquor dude.

  When the waiter walked off, I looked at Rylan and said, “So, what’s this project you need my opinion on?” I exaggerated the word ‘need’ because I was confident he did not need my help.

  “Can we get our drinks first? Then, I’ll answer you.” Ryland was being all cryptic.

  “Okay, but I’m curious to know what would make you seek out my opinion. You’re a smart guy and certainly
don’t need me. So what’s this really about?”

  “Jen….I’m not sure how to say this, but I need to tell you a few things about Jack Woods.”

  What the hell?!?! I couldn’t help my gasp. “What the fuck do you know about me and Jack Woods, Rylan? What business is it of yours anyway?” I felt my face turn red hot.

  “Please, hear me out. I’m not….I don’t get involved in other people’s business, but he….I heard him…” He was stumbling with his words and I felt really uncomfortable.

  “Spit it the hell out, Rylan!” My patience was gone.

  “I heard him!” He yelled at me, but I didn’t understand.

  “You heard him what, Rylan?” Good God, I was afraid of his answer.

  “I heard him talking about you….today…..in our break room.” My jaw was wide open. Oh, shit! Did Rylan think I was easy and he might get to hook up with me?

  He continued as I sat there, mouth opened and shock on my face. “He was bragging to another guy…about you and…..and I heard him.” His words were soft and quiet. I didn’t know what to say or what he wanted and I was certainly not staying to find out. I felt like a prostitute.

  I forced the pain and tears to stay deeply buried as I stood from the table. “I have to go. Good night.” I bolted from the patio and ran for the door. I could hear Rylan calling my name.

  I made my way outside and flagged down the valet for my car. I just needed to get away from here and get home to my only security.

  I felt his presence before he even said anything. “Jen…please wait. This is not coming out right. Please. I need to tell you something about Jack.”

  I spun around to see his face and couldn’t help but to stare. His eyes were so filled with worry and hurt. “What is it, Rylan. For God’s sake, spill it!”

  He took a deep breath and said, “He was playing you. I heard him….bragging about you. H…he said it was a game to him. He was playing you.” Oh my God, he needed to stop repeating that.

  His face turned downward and he stared at his own shoes like he was embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

  I couldn’t think. I couldn’t say anything. I just needed to leave. I was utterly humiliated. Rylan knew….he knew I’d had sex with Jack and knew it was all a big fat joke.

  My car arrived at that second and I looked once more at Rylan and said, “Good night. Thank you.” Yeah, thank you for inviting me here on a lie, thank you for telling me my night with Jack was a lie, thank you for making me feel cheap and used and thank you for embarrassing me more than I could have ever imagined.

  Rylan just watched as I climbed into my car and drove away. There was nothing else to say so I let the tears fall and cried all the way to my condo. I never wanted to see Jack Woods or Rylan Daniels ever again.

  I reached my condo and made my way inside, feeling like such a fool! Men don’t change and they certainly don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves and what they can get out of life. Lesson learned AGAIN! Time to shut down and find those walls that protect me so well. Thanks, Em for introducing me to Jack. Another tally mark for me.

  Oh and thanks Rylan for making me feel cheap and used. Two for two….sweet!

  I ran a hot bath and soaked for a really long time. I heard my phone ring three or four times and a few buzzing sounds indicating that I had some texts waiting for me. It had better not be Jack or Rylan. I’d had enough of both of them.

  Having Rylan the Fucking Prude tell me that Jack was bragging about banging me just made me feel sick. All I could picture was his face from Friday night and how he had his head up his own ass most of the time, snarling down at the peons! UGG!

  I rested my head on the back of the tub and tried to let it all go.

  After an hour in the tub, I made my way to bed, but not before I glanced at my phone.

  Just as I’d suspected, I had two missed calls and a text from Jack. I didn’t listen to any of the voicemails or read his text. I deleted them all. Between Jackass Jack and Tattletail Rylan, I was exhausted. They could both go screw themselves….or each other, for that matter.

  Chapter 8 – Rylan

  Well, that went just about as awful as I imagined it would. I felt horrible for having to tell Jen about Jack, but was relieved at the same time. She needed to know what he was about. If she decided to keep seeing him, then she would be responsible for the fucked up relationship. I could wash my hands of the mess and move on.

  Yeah, easier said than done. On my drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Jen’s face. She was mortified and I hated it. I could see she was about to cry when she got in her car at the restaurant. I decided I would at least call and check to make sure she got home okay, but remembered that I didn’t know her cell phone number. Shit!

  I pulled into my driveway, stopped short of the garage and tried to figure out what to do. I needed to make sure she was okay, but it would have to wait till morning when I would be able to call her office. I mean, I knew I was only the messenger and I was trying to protect her, but I still felt like shit for it.

  I went inside and was met by Butch who gave me a big lick on my hand. He always made me feel better. “Hey, boy! What did you do tonight?” Every time I asked my dog that I wanted to laugh. I imagined him saying, ‘Well, Ry…I slept on your bed, licked my balls and humped all my stuffed animals. How was your night, dude?’

  Man, I needed my life back. I was having imaginary conversations with my damn dog.

  I grabbed a beer and took it out on my balcony. I found myself continuing to look at my phone, wishing Jen would somehow magically find my number and call to scream at me. At midnight, I forced myself to go to bed and try to sleep.

  My alarm went off at 5:30am after a fitful night’s sleep. I had dreamed about Kristen most of the night, but at some point, Jen took over my subconscious and joined my dreams. It made me feel weird and my head was a jumbled mess of memories and crazy thoughts.

  I dressed quickly and left for work. I definitely needed the distraction of work today, but when I walked through the doors, I saw Jack Woods and my whole body stiffened. I wanted to grab him by his prick-ass pink shirt and beat the shit out of him.

  Whoa! Where had that come from? I hadn’t felt that worked up in a long time. I took a deep breath, passed Jack silently and went to my office. I sat in my chair and put my head on my desk for a few minutes. I needed to get a grip!

  By noon I was fully immersed in a shit load of problems that had come across my desk. I worked through lunch without too many disruptions and felt 100% better. I had avoided running into Jack for fear I might do or say something really stupid.

  As the afternoon rolled by, my mind drifted to her. I wondered how she was doing and if she had talked to Jack. She never called me, of course, but it certainly didn’t stop me from thinking about her and wanting to hear her voice. I finally gave up around four and called her office. I knew she would answer.

  “This is Jen. “ Well, she sounded okay.

  “Hi, Jen. This is Rylan.”

  “I can’t talk…..” I could tell she was about to hang up.

  “Please don’t hang up, Jen!” My voice sounded crazy desperate. I would’ve hung up on me for sure.

  “What do you want, Rylan? I’m really trying to make it through my day without any more humiliation. Did you call just to make sure I had my dose today?”

  “God no! I was worried about you last night and…I mean, I wanted to call, but…”

  “But, what? Oh, right….you don’t have my number. Thank God.” She whispered the last part, but I still heard it.

  “Right. Well, I just felt really bad and wanted to check on you. I’m sorry I was such an ass last night. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you about Jack, but I couldn’t let him do that to you….or anyone else and not say anything. I’m sorry.”

  Jen sat there without responding for several very long seconds. Then, I heard a long sigh.

  “Look. I appreciate that Rylan…..I really do. But, I am totally m
ortified… not only by the fact that Jack said all that and now I’ve become the office joke, but also by the fact that you, of all people, told me….after luring me under false pretenses to a restaurant….and completely wrecked my fragile ego.” She paused to take a deep breath, then said, “I need to go now. I’m working and need to just forget about the whole thing with Jack.”

  “Okay, I understand. Take care, Jen.” I sat there for a few seconds to see if she would say anything, but all I heard was the click of her hanging up. I didn’t understand at all, but had no idea what else to do. And, what was that about ‘me of all people’ being the one who told her. Shit, I was confused! This business of Jen Bailey felt undone.

  Hmm….now what? I guess I just needed to follow her lead and forget about the whole thing, but for the life of me, I couldn’t. I had to do something to change her perception of me. I was only trying to help, but for some reason, her opinion mattered to me. I didn’t want her to think I was some unfeeling jerk.

  I dialed a nearby florist and sent a little something to her office. I hoped she would accept my peace offering.

  Chapter 9 – Jen

  What the hell was that?!? Rylan was calling to check on me? Is he just freakin’ crazy or what? I didn’t know what to think. He was being really sweet and seemed genuine about checking on me, but I just didn’t know if it was real or not. What reason would he have for faking it, though?

  I went back to work and tried not to think about Rylan Daniels and his act of being all concerned. It confused the hell out of me and I didn’t have room in my life for any more of that kind of mess.

  Right at five o’clock, there was a knock on my office door. “Come in.”

  “Hi, Jen. There is a delivery here for you,” Sasha, my assistant announced.

  I furrowed my brows, still looking down at the papers on my desk and asked, “Thanks. Does it say who it’s from ‘cause I wasn’t expecting anything for a few days.”

  “Not sure, Jen, but they sure are pretty.” I turned to see Sasha was grinning from ear to ear and holding a huge vase full of every kind of wild flower known to California. It was gorgeous and I couldn’t help but to inhale sharply when I saw them. If they were from that prick Jack, I’d have a ball using them for kindling.