Too Near the Fire

by Lindsay McKenna

  “How do you know so much about the way I feel?”

  It was his turn to shrug but she saw the pain in his eyes. “It was because of Jenny, wasn’t it?” she asked gently.

  He was silent, his face becoming an inscrutable mask. Leah got up, conscious of the tension within him. Stuffing her hands in her jean pockets, she murmured, “I’m sorry, Gil. I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.”

  Standing, he motioned toward the lake. “No need to apologize. Friends never need to say they’re sorry for trying to understand each other. Grab your suit and towel. Let’s go take a swim and get away from this crowd for a while.”

  Leah had worn her suit beneath her jeans and short-sleeved pink blouse. “Sounds great,” she agreed, reaching for a towel.

  The ground sloped downward toward the inviting blue lake, which was surrounded by cattails. She suddenly felt free, her stride lengthening as she walked at Gil’s shoulder. When they reached the small sandy beach, Scotty and his two friends accosted them. Their shrill laughter of delight filled the air as they ran back into the water, begging Gil and Leah to come and play with them. In no time Leah had shrugged out of her clothes.

  “You’re going to cause a riot,” Gil said, breaking into an appreciative smile as his gaze flowed across the lime green suit that clung to her slender figure.

  Leah waved her hand at him, caught up in the enthusiasm of the children and his obvious delight. “I’m going to forget that those people on the hill exist. Right now all I want to do is revert back to a kid myself and have some fun.”

  She turned and skipped lightly into the water, gasping as it closed about her knees. It was colder then she’d first thought! The little girl came swimming up like a dog. Leah leaned down, scooping her up.

  “And who’s this little guppy?” she asked.

  “Susie,” the child giggled shyly.

  “You’re an awfully good swimmer, Susie,” Leah whispered conspiratorially, putting the little girl back down. “Do you think you might swim with me out to that platform with the diving board on it?”

  “Yay!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands.

  Leah placed a kiss on her forehead. “Come on, I’ll race you!”

  By the time Leah had allowed Susie to win the “race” out to the floating platform, both boys had swum ahead and were waiting for them. Leah helped Susie climb up, treading water until the child was safely aboard.

  Scotty yelled, “Look out, Leah!”

  A strong arm slid across her waist, pulling her backward away from the platform. Leah twisted out of Gil’s grasp, laughing. Her hair was plastered against her head, bringing out the natural prominence of her high cheekbones. Gasping, she caught the mischief in Gil’s eyes as he lunged toward her a second time. He was too strong to outdistance but she was more nimble, diving down into the murky depths to escape his charge.

  She surfaced yards away to the sound of the kids laughing and warning her again. Looking around, she didn’t see him until she felt his hands capture her waist. In seconds he propelled her out of the water and she landed with a big splash a few feet away. She surfaced, laughing with all of them, and swam back to the platform. Gil helped her up and she sat there, watching as he pulled himself up beside her. She had never realized how truly beautiful his body was until that instant. The water glistened on his tightly muscled shoulders and chest. Dark hair covered his broad chest and flat stomach, disappearing beneath the waist of the swimming trunks.

  Susie climbed into her arms and snuggled contentedly, her head against Leah’s shoulder. Gil reached over, tousling the girl’s blond hair playfully.

  “This is Apache’s daughter, in case you didn’t know.”

  Susie looked over at him. “My daddy’s not an Indian!” she exclaimed indignantly.

  Leah smiled, hugging the girl and rocking her gently. She looked up, catching Gil’s unshielded reaction, and melted beneath the tender flame she saw in his eyes.

  “You’d make one hell of a mother,” he murmured, brushing stray tendrils of hair from her cheek.

  The rest of the afternoon was a melee down at the lakefront. It was as if every child knew that there was fun going on, and soon, to Leah’s delight, the small beach was filled with youngsters that ranged in age from eighteen months old to fifteen years of age. Gradually the mothers came down to watch their children, as if sensing that Leah was less of a threat than they had first thought. Gil suggested a water battle, and soon they were carrying the young children around on their shoulders in the chest-deep water in sparring matches. Leah got dunked the most, but she took it in stride.

  After three hours she retreated to the opposite end of the lake, where a small patch of open bank was surrounded by cattails. Flopping down on the grassy bank on her stomach, she tucked her hands beneath her head and closed her eyes. Soon after, Gil joined her, lying close by. The sun was warm, drying the water from her skin. She languished in a semidoze, a good kind of exhaustion filling her. She heard Gil get up at some point and then she must have fallen asleep.

  She awoke slowly, aware of a strong hand massaging her shoulders in slow lazy motions. Groaning, she turned toward him. Gil smiled down at her as he knelt by her side, rubbing in the protective lotion. “You were starting to look like a lobster.”

  Leah moaned, relishing his touch on her back. “It feels great,” she murmured. “Don’t ever stop.” The pressure of his hand disappeared for a moment while he changed position. His fingers moved gently up the length of her spine, massaging the tight muscles. It was heavenly and Leah surrendered completely to his ministrations. His fingers were strong and coaxing against her yielding flesh as he worked her back, shoulders and neck free of tension. Another more disturbing sensation coursed electrically throughout her body. Each skillful touch of his hands stirred her senses. She could not recall Jack ever taking the time to do something like that for her. Yet Gil seemed to sense she needed it. His fingers glided up her spine, lightly caressed her shoulders, traveled slowly down the sides of her back. She was acutely aware that his fingers were within a mere inch of her breasts; she almost wished he would touch her….

  “You’re in good shape,” he murmured. “I like a woman who is supple and has muscle tone.”

  “You can thank fire fighting for that,” she murmured drowsily.

  “Mmm, I never realized how beautiful your legs were. It’s a shame they have to be hidden in a pair of navy blue slacks or bunker pants all the time,” he teased.

  Leah smiled. “You’re not in such bad shape yourself.”

  “Compliments will get you everywhere.”

  She laughed softly. “You’re spoiling me absolutely rotten, do you know that?”

  “One of the small pleasures I allow myself. You’re purring like a cat, lady.”

  She rolled on her side and sat up. Gil looked boyish, his face devoid of tension, his blue eyes warm with humor. Strands of his dark hair lifted in the inconstant breeze. Reaching out, she took the suntan lotion from him. “Turnaround is fair play. Lie down.”

  “That’s an invitation I’ll never decline,” he said, lying on his stomach.

  “You wouldn’t,” she noted dryly, pouring out the oil into her hands and warming it up before she applied it to his back. She rose to her knees and moved beside him, hands against his flesh. His muscles were firm and taut from continual workout. Leah reveled in the exercise, aroused by the touch, smell, and closeness of him. It was a pleasurable few minutes. She sat back, wiping the excess lotion off in the grass, and then lay down on her back.

  He reached out to capture her hand. “Thanks,” he murmured.

  Her heart skipped a beat and she automatically returned the pressure of his fingers. His grip relaxed, his hand remaining on top of hers as they both closed their eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun. Leah lay there, her body reacting strongly to him. She hadn’t forgotten the burning kiss that had seared her lips or the way the touch of his callused hands ignited new fires of longing deep within her. She s
ighed softly. One part of her hungered for his touch, another desired the friendship he had offered, and yet another hung back, terrified. She laughed at herself: that last part was called wisdom.

  She must have dozed off again because when she awoke, she opened her eyes to see Gil propped above her, studying her with a raw intensity that made her pulse leap strongly at the base of her throat. Her lips parted unconsciously as he leaned over her. Breath suspended, heart pounding wildly, Leah felt a jolt of electricity flow through her body as his mouth descended demandingly against her lips. His hand moved to her slender neck, fingers against her jaw. He held her still so that he could taste the sweet depths of her mouth. Instinctively, her arm slid around the curve of his neck, fingers entwining in the dark curls at his nape. Fire, more raging and uncontrolled than any she had fought, swept through her with fierce new intensity. The sandpapery texture of his cheek against her face, the moist hotness of his breath fueled the flame ignited between them. She responded wantonly, unafraid to match his volcanic fervor.

  His mouth moved against her lips, becoming more gentle and caressing. A soft moan rose in her throat as he broke contact, his face hovering only an inch from her wet, throbbing lips. Her eyes were wide, her breath coming in shallow gasps as he studied her in the intervening silence. “I want you,” he breathed thickly, his voice trembling with husky vibration. “All of you, Leah. Every square inch of your lovely body.” He groaned, closing his eyes, exhaling forcefully. “I’ve never wanted a woman more than you,” he whispered, his eyes turbulent and hungry. Managing a shaky smile, he traced the line of her brow. “This is a hell of a fix.”

  She swallowed convulsively; her body trembled with desire. Finally, she found her voice.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice wispy.

  He looked beyond her at the quiet lake. His profile was rugged. She noted that small lines fanned out from the corner of each of his eyes. He turned to meet her gaze, and a self-deprecating smile edged the corners of his chiseled mouth. “I offer you friendship and then take advantage of it. I didn’t mean to kiss you…. God knows, I fought myself long enough. Just watching you sleep with the sun glinting in your hair pushed me over the edge,” he admitted.

  “I’m not sorry,” she whispered huskily.

  Surprise flared briefly in his cobalt eyes. “I don’t want you to think I’m playing a game with you. I’m a strong man in some respects, but you’ve hit my weak spot.” He laughed. “I just can’t keep my hands off you.”

  Her heart was beginning to come back to a normal beat. She reached up and caressed his jaw and cheek. “I know you’re not playing a game with me. You don’t have to apologize. I liked it as much as you did.”

  He captured her hand, holding it tightly against his bare chest. “I wasn’t going to apologize,” he murmured, mirth returning to his eyes.

  She smiled. “Awfully sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

  Gil laughed, sitting up and releasing her hand. “Hell of a beginning for a friendship, huh?”

  “Yes,” she murmured, “a hell of a beginning.”

  It was nearly dark when the picnic was officially over. They had rejoined the group near dinnertime and had helped the children roast marshmallows and wieners over the fire. The adults seemed to silently accept her within the fold upon their return. The fact that the children rushed up to them helped to break the ice. Scotty and Susie never left Leah’s side for a moment, and she settled in to play with them during the long evening hours.

  Leah had gotten over her self-consciousness by entertaining the children with stories around the fire. Gil remained close by her side with little Susie, finally tuckered out, asleep in his arms. Even Chief Anders was less growly than usual as he lounged near the fire while Leah told the last story of the evening. Apache got up and came over to take his daughter from Gil’s arms. He smiled over at Leah.

  “You ever babysit?” he asked her.

  She shrugged. “I did when I was younger.”

  “Well, anytime you want to get another dose of this little one, just let me know. Angie was saying she’s never seen Susie so taken with anyone before.”

  Gil smiled over at Leah. “Who said women fire fighters weren’t special?” he teased warmly. Apache laughed softly, hugging his daughter to his chest.

  “Maybe you’re right after all, Gerard. I’ll see you two tomorrow morning. Good night.”

  A pleasant feeling enveloped her as Gil helped her repack her small picnic basket. Scotty had cried when his father came to take him from Leah’s side. Bob managed a murmur of apology to her, thanking her for taking care of the boy for the day. She sighed, gazing up at Gil.

  “It turned out to be a wonderful day,” she said softly as she closed the lid on the basket.

  He slid his arm around her shoulder. “Mmm, in more ways than one. Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  Leah leaned against his sun-warmed body, a smile of contentment hovering around her mouth as they made their way through the dusk. He put the basket in the back seat and held the door open for her.

  “Still friends?” he asked.

  “As long as you want,” she whispered.

  That enigmatic smile returned to his mouth, and his eyes became hooded and unreadable. “Watch it, lady, or I might hold you to that,” he warned softly.

  Leah gazed up into his shadowed face, trembling inwardly over his roughly spoken words. The day had been a miracle on all levels for her. Especially the emotional one. “Gil…” she began tentatively, unsure of how to explain what she was feeling. “I don’t want this day to end….” Her eyes darkened with uncertainty.

  He brought up his hand and rested it on her shoulder, his fingers warm and strong. “I don’t either,” he returned huskily, “but it had to be your choice, not mine.”

  Leah nodded, agreeing with his logic. Earlier, he had offered his friendship. If he was to become her lover as well, it had to be at her invitation. She had never made a decision like this on the spur of the moment. If anything, Leah had always been afraid and distrustful. But as she looked into Gil’s eyes, a new strength welled up inside her. It was right. She didn’t know why, but she sensed that her decision had been good. “I’m afraid,” she whispered.

  A wry smile pulled at one corner of Gil’s mouth. “So am I.”

  Leah’s eyes widened. “You are?”

  “Yes.” His grip tightened momentarily. “We’re both serious when it comes to commitments with another person.” His voice deepened. “I’ve never considered you lightly here,” he said, pointing to his heart. “I told you before, I want the right and the time to get to know you, Leah. All of you,” he stressed gently. “Yes, I’m scared. And I’m deliriously happy. I’m many things all at once where you’re concerned, lady.” Humor glinted in his eyes. “I’m far from perfect, honey. I offered you friendship today and now I find myself wanting to take you to bed with me. I can’t help it and I don’t want to. But I want you on all levels, Leah. Mentally, emotionally, and—” he traced the length of her clean jawline “—physically.”

  Leah shivered at the sensual implication of his words. Her dark lashes fell against her cheeks. “I feel the same,” she admitted.

  Gil chuckled. “Come on then. I’ll meet you over at your apartment. Who knows what will happen when two people who think the world of each other are this scared.”

  Leah laughed quietly with him. “Misery loves company, then.”

  Gil grinned. “You’re hardly miserable to be around, lady, believe me,” he returned fervently.

  The transition from friends to lovers took place with unexpected ease. Gil helped her put the picnic basket and other articles away once they arrived at the apartment. Gil made himself comfortable on the couch, and Leah brought over two glasses of wine and handed him one. She curled up on the couch, facing him, their bodies in contact with one another. The languorous sensual tension that had existed between them all day increased as they sipped the dry white wine. Music from the stereo
drifted through the apartment, soothing away any anxiety or fear.

  Gil placed their emptied glasses on the coffee table and took up her hands. With ease, he lifted Leah to her feet. A tender light appeared in his eyes as he cupped her face with his large hands. His breath, slightly sweet from the wine, caught her senses as Gil pulled her toward him. Leah did not resist, but let the full weight of her willowy body rest against the hard planes of his more angular form. Closing her eyes, she lifted her lips to his descending, predatory mouth.

  A jagged, heated bolt of lightning plunged downward through her as his mouth barely grazed her parted, waiting lips. The sandpapery texture of his skin raised prickles of pleasure in her. His mouth moved across her lips, stealing her breath. Instinctively, Leah slipped her arms across his broad, incredibly strong shoulders, pulling him closer to her arching, aching body.

  Throwing all caution aside, Leah hungrily returned his demanding kiss. He groaned and drew away slightly. His breath was labored, eyes darkened with barely restrained desire, as he stared down at her.

  “I need you, Leah,” he whispered thickly. “God, I’ve wanted you ever since I first met you.”

  Breathless, she nodded. “Yes,” she agreed inaudibly. “Love me, Gil,” she whispered, raising her eyes to meet his burning gaze.

  He swept her up into his arms, carrying her as if she were a fragile child. The darkness in the bedroom was eased by a thin slice of moon hovering in the blackness of the sky. The silvery moonglow sent slanted streams of light through the delicately wrought lace curtains. Her heart pounded in her breast like a wild bird that had been captured as Gil gently deposited her on the bed. The heat of his body was disturbing as he patiently worked loose the buttons on her blouse.

  There was beauty in each shared movement. Leah delighted in being an equal partner in the satisfying ritual of undressing each other. As his shirt fell open at her urging she placed a trembling hand against the dark mat of hair on his chest. She lifted her chin and met his penetrating gaze. In his eyes she saw the hunger building, a glimmer of tenderness, and…love? She blinked, aware of the wiry hair beneath her palm, the sledgehammer beat of his heart, the tautness of the skin across the breadth of his well-muscled chest. Was it love? Her breath came in short gasps as his hands slid firmly upward, cupping her now naked breasts, teasing the nipples to budding life. It wasn’t her imagination! She saw some undefinable emotion in his eyes, an emotion that made her yield to his masterful caress and eagerly reach up to meet his mouth with renewed fervency.