Love is the death of me

by Dick Hardman

  “To avoid the situation where several beacons are running at once, but the targets have to be hit at different times, there is also an identification tone. The V-1 can home onto the required tone and ignore others.” Pieter explained.

  “To achieve the high frequency it generates a great deal of heat and the incredibly small expansion of the components can change, if not stop, the frequency of oscillation. This is why the thermionic valves we use are so very small and why we cannot use lengths of wire like in a normal transmitter, to form connections. The high frequency current will only flow on the surface of the conductors, this is called the skin effect, and so large hollow tubes would be the obvious solution. Tubes cannot be made accurately, they heat up and expand, and oscillation stops. That is why we use the foil, it has a large surface area, can be cut easily and accurately, and when fixed to the glass circuit board, temperature effects are stabilised. The foil can also carry a lot of current.”

  Horst wanted to show off his limited knowledge of electronics and asked another question. “So, does the beacon work like Funkmessgerät (radar) then?”

  “No. Our frequencies are far too low and the British can easily detect them. Their radar system uses a magnetron to achieve the ultra-high frequencies, but it would not be practical in the beacon for technical reasons. We have had to push the boundaries of our own technology to get the best results.

  “The device has to be very small and so does the aerial. This excludes the magnetron, and yet we need the very high frequency for directional reasons.

  “When we talk about tuned circuits, think of a child on a swing. A gentle push every so often is all that is required to maintain its natural frequency. If we want to double the speed, the child would have to be constantly pushed then pulled back. A great deal of work and heat is generated because the system is not optimally in tune. You could make the child and swing much smaller and that would work naturally also. We have compromised by pumping in lots of power and miniaturisation.

  “Our next challenge was to prevent the small components from vaporising with the large current flowing through them. The final result is the small dull finish, dark grey box you see here.”

  He held up an actual beacon.

  “Replicate precisely and the beacon will work perfectly, every time. This is where your skill will come in.”

  “Why are some of the tools made of glass?” Andreas asked. He was determined to show Carina that he had a brain and not let Horst slide into her knickers that easily.

  Pieter explained. “When the set has warmed up and stabilised, you have to tune the circuit so it bursts into oscillation. A resonator will accurately light a small neon bulb when the right frequency is reached; the bulb lights up a peculiar blue colour due to the ionisation of the gas. The glass tool allows this adjustment without itself having any effect on the tuning when it is withdrawn from the set. It just happens to be the best material for this purpose and also the reason for the glass circuit board. Nothing else will allow us to achieve the frequency we need.”

  Pieter felt it was necessary to remind his team that they were committed and there was no turning back.

  “I must also tell you that if you cannot continue with the mission or fail to acquire the necessary skills with the equipment or spy craft, you will be held in solitary confinement until the end of the war! You know too much now, to be allowed to leave.”

  Klein watched the faces of his team for the slightest hint of dissent. He knew they would never admit they wanted out, but they might try to escape later, perhaps in England. He was relieved to see that they reacted with shock and acceptance; he could not risk the mission or lives, especially his own, if there was any doubt.

  “Each day and night, until we leave for our destination, we will train to set up, repair, install and train others to use the equipment. We will also improve fitness and learn self-defence and some basic spy craft skills. Be prepared for an arduous time. The quicker you reach the necessary standard, the sooner we leave and the sooner that hard work stops.”

  Pieter sensed the next question and forestalled it.

  “Do not ask when or where we are going or how we are getting there. The less you know, the less you can let slip, although from now on, we will remain in each other’s company or under close guard.

  “I will give each of you some paper and a pencil so you can take notes. You can discuss what you learn with each other, even sharing your notes. Every page must be accounted for, so do not throw any sheets away. They will all be destroyed by me, when we leave Alderney.”

  Pieter saw from their faces there were many questions to which they needed answers, but his little team realised they would be told everything when it became necessary.

  “Do you have anything to say, or to ask me?” No one raised a murmur; they were going to quietly buckle down and get on with the training.

  ***

  It was 00.30am when Pieter felt Helga’s chilled skin against him, as she insinuated herself into his warm bed. He suspected Dedrick had just enjoyed her and was fast asleep; she had just cleaned up in the freezing bathroom and now wanted her fun with him. He moved to one side to vacate the warm spot for her benefit, then pulled her hard to him, kissing her passionately and insatiably.

  Ten minutes later, she slipped out of bed without a word and padded to the bathroom. Dedrick would wake with her sleeping beside him and be none the wiser.

  Or would he?

  ***

  Helga justified her clear conscience at what she was doing in the knowledge that she was not hurting anyone.

  Dedrick got what he wanted, companionship, sexual relief and security of his emotions.

  Pieter was getting what he wanted, sexual relief and the feeling of conquest without commitment.

  She had the companionship, loyalty and protection of Dedrick, and the lustful passion and overwhelming, body melting, mind numbingly wonderful sex that even wild dreams could not conjure up, from Pieter. He would move on, without a thought about her. So, no one gets hurt, everybody wins!

  ***

  Pieter lay still in the sweat dampened bed, wishing he had a normal life, free of war and secrets. He already had deep feelings for Helga. She was the only woman he had known with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life. It had little to do with the wonderful sex, or the fact she was very pretty; actually, there was no reason he could define, so it must be her personality. It could not be love, he had no idea what that was, he had never experienced it, but perhaps this was…

  No, he was being ridiculous, there was no such thing. He was just feeling very grateful.

  Sleep would not come though. He lay awake wishing she was quietly sleeping next to him, smelling of fresh washed skin and warm bed. He tried pretending she was there, imagining he could hear her soft breathing. He dared not put out a hand to feel her soft warm body, he knew it was not there and it would spoil his illusion.

  “Damn this war!”

  The training. 4th December 1943

  It was 8.00am; the team assembled in the training room at the fort.

  “Listen up everyone,” commanded Pieter.

  “I know you are soldiers and are physically fit, but on this mission you will face different challenges to those you were trained for. You will face intense cold, prolonged physical discomfort, pain and fear. If you are well prepared, the effect of these unpleasant experiences will be greatly reduced. During the training, I will be enduring the same as you, I will feel as wretched as you. Be comforted by the knowledge that when desensitised, we will all be better able to cope, in the field.

  “Intense cold will kill you! Your survival time is greatly improved when you know the signs of hypothermia and how to deal with it. Your body can stand the cold better if you take frequent dips in the sea and become acclimatised. The initial shock and pain of freezing water will soon become tolerable.”

  He pointed to a small stack of clean, folded towels. “We will swim for a few minutes in the harbour and take the
se to dry ourselves.

  “The next morning, we will increase the time and so on, until we can stand 30 minutes. You will feel shy, because we will all be naked, but you will soon get over it! It is not my desire to embarrass or humiliate you, but you cannot afford to have your judgement impaired by such trivial emotions.

  “Imagine you are naked in bed and have been raided by police or MI5. You can either hide under a sheet and be captured, or try and escape by running naked down the street. They will hang you if they catch you. Never forget that!”

  It dawned on the team, there was no ‘playing nice’, on this mission.

  “Now, follow me, we will jog all the way there to strip off, then swim, dress and jog back.”

  With Pieter urging them on from the rear, they quickly reached the sandy beach of Braye Bay. Mercifully, there was no wind, it was just a bleak winter morning.

  Pieter quickly removed his shoes and clothes, stacking them in a neat pile on his shoes, protecting the clothing from the damp sand. The others did the same, masking their privates with their hands at every opportunity. It didn’t help their feelings, being laughed and jeered at by every passing soldier who saw them.

  “Come on, into the water; the sooner you are in, the sooner you come out,” shouted Pieter, as he dashed into the shallows and then waded up to his waist. The others were visibly shocked at the sight of the mangled and vividly scarred flesh on his back. What the hell happened to him, they wondered. He turned to face them and the others followed with great reluctance.

  Horst Loehr screamed as the ache of the freezing water penetrated to the bones of his feet and legs, then he ran out of the water. As he danced around to kill the pain, the other two turned and dashed after him. They were almost in tears with their own pain, but running was a welcome distraction.

  “Drag Horst into the water and push him under,” barked Pieter. Andreas and Carina immediately grabbed Horst and a scuffle developed as he tried to fight them off. Their naked wet bodies slithered and collided into each other; finally they toppled over in a tangle of limbs. Now they were all cold, wet and covered in sand as Carina and Andreas dragged Horst across the beach, and into the water. To keep Horst down in the water, the other two fell on top of him and then rolled off, screaming and yelling with the cold, as they washed off the sand. The three then chased after Pieter, caught up with him and fell on him, to keep him under.

  The three trainees suddenly realised they had breached their pain barrier in their fun, and were also no longer concerned with their nakedness.

  “OK team! Let’s dry off, get dressed and move onto the next part of the training. We will take a brisk run through the town to get warmed up, and then go back to the training room.”

  Pieter stood and watched his team for a moment. They laughed and jostled as they dried off and dressed. The team was starting to bond, this was a good thing!

  They all felt like their numb skin was being scraped off as they towelled themselves dry, paying particular attention to their feet. To avoid blisters on the run, they needed to keep them free of sand and quite dry.

  When they returned to their training room, they found hot soup waiting for them, compliments of the Oberst. Their antics on the beach had raised moral considerably, something that had recently been impossible to do.

  ***

  The next training session was concerned with the components of the beacon and how they fitted together. This took them up to 3.00pm, when there was a knock on the door. It was Herman; he told Pieter that one of the workers, a Pole, had just died. It was something of which Pieter had particularly asked to be notified, because it would form a useful part of the training.

  “Thank you Herman. Please leave the corpse in the derelict cottage we used yesterday. We also need a hammer, some long nails and a length of thin rope. We will bring some sand up from the beach in sand bags, so will be ready for him in 30 minutes.”

  Herman nodded and went to make preparations, wondering what the hell they intended to do with the dead man.

  “OK team! We can break off here. Pack the equipment away out of sight. You never know, there might be a damned spy lurking around!”

  They all laughed at the joke, but understood the seriousness of the warning.

  “I want the three of you to go down to the beach again, each of you bring back a full bag of sand, and we will meet at the derelict cottage. Also, make sure you bring all your weapons.”

  The three trainees set off at a brisk run.

  “What do you think Pieter wants the sand for?” gasped Horst as he jogged along, curious about their next session.

  “If it gets us another bowl of soup, I don’t care!” replied Andreas breathlessly.

  “You two men are a disgrace to the German Army, you are both out of breath and we are only half way there.” Carina was breathing deeply and easily, as she increased her pace to leave the others behind. She was determined to show them up and make them look silly, by beating them.

  ***

  “Now you are all back, sit on the floor and I will explain what we will do next.

  “People have a natural aversion to dead bodies. There is something primal that prevents most people from wanting to handle them. I understand their fears; I had to face my own when I was trained as a spy.

  “Killing a person is quite likely on this mission. It might have to be cold blooded, if an innocent person stumbles onto your secret, and they must be prevented from passing on what they have seen. It could be in self-defence, and you might think this is easier to live with. To some extent it is, but after the heat of the moment, the fact you have killed someone will weigh heavily on your mind. You will think about the person having emotions, like you; the sorrow of their loved ones will play on your mind and you will see the corpse as a person. It will even make you feel wretched, like you would if you lost a close friend. This will affect you badly and could result in your own death, if you cannot manage your emotions and the distraction.

  “As a spy, you cannot afford to be squeamish or have a conscience, because your mission, and therefore your secret and survival, would be jeopardised. Remember, a great many military and innocent civilian lives depend on the success of this mission, not only German, but British too.

  A man has just died, he is in the next room and I want you to bring in the corpse, together. Remember, the man is dead; there is nothing you can do or say that can make it better or worse. The body has no feeling, no thoughts, there are no evil spirits floating around that will punish you. There is no afterlife and no eternal damnation. It is just meat now, treat it accordingly.

  “Off you go, bring him in here.”

  Nervously they filed out and stood staring down at the blood drained white face of the worked-to-death old man, still in his ragged clothes. He still had sack cloth wrapped around his feet to act as shoes. His thin, emaciated body had been laid out on its back, hands clasped over his chest and his eyes were not quite shut.

  ***

  Horst picked up the feet while the other two grabbed an arm each and lifted. The warm body had not gone into rigor yet, so when the arms and feet were lifted, the rump stayed on the floor.

  “You will need to become more personal than that.” Pieter instructed.

  “Just imagine, for whatever reason, you have just killed this man. Time is against you, you must move the body out of sight.

  “Horst you go first, on your own. You have ten seconds to get him into the lounge and shut the door, or you will also die.

  “Go!”

  Horst grabbed the man’s wrists and tried to drag the body into the next room. The feel of the cool, clammy flesh forced him to acknowledge this was a dead body he was hauling. Revulsion coursed through him as he imagined the vile corpse passing on its corruption. He looked down, the head had flopped back causing the mouth and eyes to open; it scared him. It was like the man was casting some evil curse upon him for this sacrilege.

  The feet of the corpse had just passed through the open door whe
n Pieter shouted.

  “Ten! Bang! You are now dead, Horst.

  “Carina, now it’s your turn.

  “Go!”

  ***

  Carina grabbed the shoulders and eased the limp, uncooperative body up into a sitting position, against her legs.

  Bile rose up in her throat causing her to swallow hard to force it back down. The flesh on the Pole’s back felt soft and warm against her legs. It had a human feeling that she had not expected from a corpse. What if he is not actually dead? Should I really be doing this, it is quite wrong.

  In an effort of will, she shut her mind off from all considerations that this was anything other than dead weight that had to be moved. Not even treating it like an animal carcase.

  She slipped her arms under the armpits and across its chest, linked her hands, scuffled backwards to the side room and kicked the door shut.

  “Well done Carina, you live another day.

  “Next one!”

  ***

  Andreas grabbed the hands from the front and pulled it into a sitting position, letting it flop onto his left shoulder. With a heave under the buttocks, the body was over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Andreas dashed through the doorway and shut the door, then lowered the body to the ground.

  His enthusiasm had obliterated all thoughts of what he was handling.

  “Just seven seconds, that is very good Andreas.” The encouragement brought a beaming smile to his face.

  ***

  “OK team, you also need to consider the marks and disturbance on the floor, if you drag the body. See the trails you have left with the first two attempts. Some floors retain the scuff marks, so be aware of that.

  “Carina. You might like to try lifting the body the way Andreas did. I think you will find that you are stronger than you think, especially if you are desperate.

  “Now I want you to try and move him in just five seconds. Remember, the British security are about to break down the door; you must hide the body in the next room and close the door on it. Then you will casually open the front door to your enemy and greet them, as though nothing is wrong.”