Unpredictable

by Shantel Tessier

  “Your dad’s sick,” I say and her body tenses. “Is he getting better?”

  “I thought you wanted to have sex?” she asks with clenched teeth. “If this is your way of foreplay, it’s not gonna work.”

  I reach up and grab her arm. I pull her down onto my lap as I sit back down. I wrap my arms around her so she can’t get away. “My father and I were close when I was younger.” I give her what she wants; maybe she will give a little in return. “But as I got older, we grew apart. He wanted me to go off to college to be a defense attorney. And for a while, I considered it.” I shrug. “That what Slade’s father is. He owns his own firm. I figured I could get a job with his firm after school. But I woke up one day and decided that just wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life.” I remember that fight with my father like it was yesterday. “I told him that I wanted to be a police officer. And after a few silent minutes, he nodded his head and told me that was an even better idea.” I knew at that moment that my father was a dirty man. A man who wanted to use others to get what he wanted. I made a promise to myself to never be that guy.

  She sits quietly on my lap as I run my hand up and down her arm. She may be sitting on my lap, but I feel like she wasn’t truly listening to what I had to tell her. She looks straight ahead to the wall across from us with a lost look in her beautiful eyes.

  “Kat?” I ask, lifting my hand to her face. She flinches and looks down at me. Her eyes hold a darkness to them as if she’s trying to forget what she was just remembering.

  She gets up off my lap and I allow it. “I told you that we didn’t need to share.”

  “But you asked about my father…”

  “Yeah. Well, I changed my mind,” she snaps.

  I stand from the chair and go to reach out to her, but she pulls back. “Just leave, Parker.”

  She’s like trying to keep a cobra happy. You’re gonna get bitten no matter what. “Why do you do this?” I ask, getting angry.

  “Because I don’t need you to tell me what you feel. I don’t need to tell you how I feel,” she says and her voice rises. “I’m not that girl who needs a white knight to come and take all my problems away. Those problems are my life,” she yells, pointing a finger at her chest. “I don’t need to have a man in my life. And I certainly don’t need you,” she finishes. Her chest rises and falls quickly as she breathes heavily.

  She doesn’t need a man. Well, I figured that out the moment she came walking out of her garage dressed to kill and ready to do just that. But saving people is in my nature. I may be a fucking prick, but I still have that soft spot and she’s made her way under it. “You’re right.” I swallow because I hate saying those fucking words. I turn around and start to walk to her front door. But I stop. I turn back around to face her. Might as well get everything out in the open.

  “Actually, you’re wrong. You choose to be alone. You choose to be a fucking bitch,” I yell, and she opens her mouth to speak but I don’t let her. “You choose to bare all your problems on your own. And one day they’re gonna be too much to carry and you’re only gonna have yourself to blame when you come crashing down,” I yell. And with that, I go straight to her front door and slam the door behind me.

  *****

  KATHERINE

  I’ve never been that girl who is dependent on another. Well, as a child I was dependent on my father. But that’s part of being a child. Ever since I was able to take care of myself that was exactly what I did. My father deserved a life. My father deserved to find love again. But he never really lived and he never found that love that I knew was out there. I know he fought it on purpose. And now look at him. He’s in a nursing home—a nursing home that I placed him in.

  I left my house right after Parker stormed out. I changed my clothes and went to see my father. I’ve been here all night. I lie on the couch in his room, covered up with a blanket, as he sleeps. Visiting hours were over hours ago, but they’ve allowed me to stay. My father was having a good day, and I wanted to take advantage of that. But once he fell asleep, I couldn’t leave him. I want to be here when he wakes up in the morning. I want to be the first thing he sees, hoping that will help him have another good day.

  Parker’s words keep playing in my head. I was wrong for wanting to know about his life. But I was shocked the second I realized who his father was—the mayor. I never put the last names together. I mean, O’Hare isn’t that common. It just never crossed my mind. But, then again, why would it?

  I sigh as I try to adjust myself on this uncomfortable couch. I want to be mad at Parker, but I can’t. What he said was true and it stung. That’s why I let him leave the way he did. That’s why I didn’t say something hurtful back. Because it was my fault. He opened up and I just sat there trying to keep my mouth shut. He doesn’t really want to know about me. My past. He already sees me as a heartless bitch who is fucked up. Why give him a story to go along with it? So what if my mother left us? So what if she took a piece of me with her? So what if I can’t get over it? People have worse things going on with them in this world.

  I feel my phone vibrate as it sits on the floor next to the couch. I look down to see Sexy Motherfucker written across my screen with that stupid selfie of Parker. I press ignore and turn my phone off. I’m exhausted.

  *****

  I yawn as I stretch while still lying on the couch. The morning light fills my father’s room as the sun rises. My back hurts and my eyes are still trying to focus.

  “Jules?”

  I look over at the bed that my father lays in. And I smile, trying to hide my disappointment. But what did I expect? You don’t have many good days once you are put in a nursing home.

  “Good morning, William,” I say. The nurse had told me not to call him father because that would only confuse him. And I don’t want to do that to him. Not more than he already is.

  “Where’s Katherine?” he asks, looking around the room.

  “She’s downstairs,” I respond, walking over to him.

  He looks up at his clock that hangs on the wall. “You need to get her ready for school. You don’t want her to be late.”

  I nod and pat him on the hand. “You’re right,” I say softly, swallowing the knot in my throat. “I’ll do that and be right back. Je te aime,” I say softly in French. It means I love you. He used to love it when my mother told him that. I grab his cup that sits beside his bed. I’ll go grab him some coffee and then come back. And I’ll let him know that his little girl made it to school safely.

  I walk out of his room and come to a stop when I see Parker standing there looking at me. He’s dressed in the same clothes as last night. I stare at him half surprised, half ashamed.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask softly, still trying to swallow that stupid feeling that wants to bubble to the surface.

  He places his hands in his front pockets nervously. He looks at the door of my father’s room, and I know he overheard what was said. I should feel angry toward him, but I’m not. I’m relieved that I didn’t have to explain it to him. He heard it firsthand.

  “I wanted you to know that I understand what I did last night what uncalled for. I didn’t mean what I said.” His voice is soft but we both know what he said was a lie.

  “But you did,” I correct him.

  “Katherine,” he sighs running a hand through his hair, “I’m trying.”

  “I’m not asking you to.” I look up at the ceiling, not wanting to lose my cool. I feel a nervous breakdown trying to surface and this is not the place or time.

  “That’s just the thing,” he says taking a step closer to me. “You’re not asking anything of me. Quit playing hard to get.”

  My mouth falls open. “You think that’s what this is?” I ask breathlessly. “You think this is all a game to me?” I hang my head and sigh before I look back up at him. “I’m not a prize to be won, Parker. I am whatever I need to be when the time calls for it.” He wants to know a little bit about me? I’ll fill him in. “I needed a mother—I be
came my own mother. I needed someone to love me so I loved myself. I needed a life so I made a life for myself. What can you give me that I can’t give myself?” I demand. And instantly regret those words. I don’t want him to give me anything. I know he could hear the anger in my voice. Fear that I’ll one day be like my father. Alone and stuck in the past—the past that I hate so much. I’ve always accomplished whatever I wanted, but allowing someone in, allowing him in—he can let me down. He can fail. I can fail, and I probably will.

  He takes another step toward me and places his palm on my cheek. Like a dog needing affection, I lean into it. Loving the feel of his warm hand on my skin.

  “Me,” he replies. “The only thing I can give you that you can’t give yourself is me,” he replies softly.

  I look up at him feeling lost and confused. He just spoke the one word that broke down a part of my wall that I’ve spent so much time building up. “Why would you want me?” I whisper. “I’m just a heartless fucking bitch,” I repeat the words he yelled at me last night.

  His eyes move away from mine and look at my father’s door once again. He takes a deep breath and then looks back down at me. “You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, Katherine. You just hide it really well.”

  I almost crack a smile at those words. “I’ve always been good at hiding.”

  He tilts his head to the side and gives me a slow smile as his brown eyes search mine. “I see you, Kat. I see you clear as day and just like the sun, you blind me with how beautiful you are.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  PARKER

  Do you ever open your eyes and see the world differently? Do you ever wake up and think damn, I’ve been blind for as long as I can remember? I just did! It’s invigorating and terrifying at the same time. After leaving Katherine’s house yesterday afternoon, I realized it was a mistake. I felt it the moment I pulled out of her drive. I was mad and got defensive. She wasn’t opening up to me, and I hated that she could keep something so important from me. Sex has always been just sex to me. But with her, I needed something deeper than sex with her. So I had stopped down the street from her house. I had an internal battle with myself to go back and tell her that I was sorry, but while I sat on the side of the road, I saw her car drive by. Like the stalker I have become concerning her, I followed her. Pulling into a nursing home was the last place I thought we would end up at. I figured it was going to be a guy’s house and I was gonna have to shoot him. I seriously had my gun loaded and ready. Have I mentioned that I’ve lost my mind? I have!

  I waited for her to leave, but she never did. I called her, but she ignored it. Then when I called her back, I realized she had turned off her phone. I called into work to tell them that I wasn’t coming in and fell asleep in my truck waiting for her to leave. And when I woke up, it was daylight and her car was still in the same spot. I couldn’t wait any longer. I went inside and told them her name. Normally, they wouldn’t have given out that information. But after I gave them a spiel about needing to speak to her and flashed my badge that I always keep on me—because women love that shit—they gave me the room number that she was in. I was about to knock when I heard an older man speak. I heard him call out to a Jules and then I heard Kat speak. It only took me a second to understand what was going on. It did something to me. It made me realize who she is. A daughter just trying to get by in a world that doesn’t know who she is. That has to fuck with her head. And it made me realize what I wanted to be. Hers. Believe me, I know how fucking crazy I sound. I keep popping up everywhere she is. I can’t help but want to be near her.

  I left her there at the nursing home, promising to be over later. She was there to be with him, even if he wasn’t mentally there for her. And I give her major props for being that strong, but she’s gonna break. I could see it in her eyes. I could hear the fear in her voice. She’s gonna break—everyone does. And when she does, I’m gonna be there.

  I don’t know exactly where that leaves us. I told her that she could have me, but she didn’t say she wanted me. But fun fact—she didn’t say she didn’t want me. So, I’m in limbo right now, which is better than where I have been. I’ll take it.

  I had gone home, showered and changed, and grabbed Puss Puss. She hasn’t been acting herself and I am having the vet look at her.

  So, now I sit in the waiting room as I softly pet her. She hates her crate and breaks out in hives if I leave her in it too long. So it sits down at my feet while she sits on my lap purring. I look up when the bell rings alerting them of a new client. A woman walks in with a cat on a leash and I frown. Maybe I should try that with Puss Puss. She checks in and sits down on the bench beside me.

  Puss Puss arches her back and I get a better hold on her. She doesn’t like other pets. She’s a total attention whore.

  “Your cat is pretty,” I say to the old lady, trying to make conversation.

  “Thank you.” She smiles sweetly. “She’s very friendly.”

  I lift my hand that’s not holding Puss Puss and ask, “May I?” she nods. And I reach over and run my hand down her orange back. She arches it and starts to purr.

  I pull away and go back to petting Puss Puss. “My pussy is much softer than yours,” I say truthfully

  Her mouth drops open and she gasps. “Young man…”

  “How often do you bathe her?” I interrupt her. “I bathe Puss Puss once a month,” I inform her as I reach down and pet her black fur. “They say that bathing them can dry their skin out but not if you use the right stuff.” She looks at me wide-eyed and I continue. “Dawn is the best for them.”

  She nods with her mouth half open. “Thanks,” she says but sounds unsure if she should be thanking me.

  “Parker?”

  I look up at the cute little brunette who calls my name. She’s tried to get in my pants in the past. But I refuse to fuck her since she works at Puss Puss’s vet. Kinda don’t bite the hand that feeds you type of thing. Girls are about revenge, and even though their turnover rate is high here, I still value my cat’s care.

  “What’s going on with Puss Puss?” she asks as I place her up on the table.

  “She hasn’t been as active as she normally is,” I say trying to calm her by petting her. “She’s been lazier than ever before. And she meows all the time.” Puss Puss has never been one of those cats that is overly talkative.

  “Okay. Let’s see if we can get her weight.” She motions to the scales. I place her on them and quickly remove my hand for the best possible read.

  I take her off when finished and hold her tightly to my chest.

  “She’s gained three pounds, Parker. You need to put her on a diet.”

  I let out a breath. “How much does she need to lose?” I question. I’ve never put her on one before.

  “Five pounds would be best.”

  That’s easy, right? She takes out a pen and paper, writes down the name of some cat food, and tears it off. “Here, get this for her. Give her one bowl a day. I want her to come back in a month.”

  “What?” I ask looking down at it. “One bowl? She’ll starve.”

  “How often do you feed her now?”

  “I fill her bowl to the top and she eats whenever she is hungry.”

  She shakes her head. “That’s not good for her, Parker.” She reaches over and pets my pussy. “Do what I said and she will be back to herself in no time.”

  As soon as we leave the vet, I go to the store and get what she said Puss Puss needed. I go home and pour out her big bowl of food. I then fill her pink princess dish up with the amount of new food they recommended. It barely covers the bottom of her bowl.

  “What are you doing?” Tate asks as he enters the kitchen. The lovely bride and groom are officially back from their honeymoon.

  “I had to get Puss Puss new food. She’s on a diet.”

  He chuckles. “About time. It took her three times yesterday to get up on the couch.”

  I turn around to look at him. “If she wanted up on the couch, wh
y didn’t you help her and place her on the couch?” I ask.

  He shrugs. “Didn’t think of it.”

  I sigh as I turn back around to her. “Come on.” I bend down and shake her bowl. “It’s yummy. Try it.”

  She lies down and meows up at me. “She doesn’t like it,” Tate states.

  “Yes. I know,” I say rolling my eyes at him. I get up and open the fridge. I look around, trying to find something, anything. I smile when I find what I think will help. I close the fridge and grab a spoon out of the drawer. I open up the yogurt and dip it out and into the bowl. I mix her food around and she starts meowing as she gets up off her side.

  “There you go,” I say with a smile as she starts to eat it.

  “That can’t be good for her diet,” Tate says, shaking his head.

  I lift up the now empty yogurt container. “It says fat-free.” How bad can it be? I stand and throw away the now empty yogurt container and go to walk out of the kitchen.

  “Have plans tonight?” he asks.

  I’m not ready to hear the shit storm I’ll get from him about Katherine. “Yeah,” is all I say.

  *****

  I make my way up to her door like I live here. I reach out and turn the knob. It opens up for me. “Kat?” I call out as I shut and lock it behind me.

  “In the bedroom,” she calls out, and I rub my hands together. Already in the bedroom.

  “I could get used to this,” I say making my way down her hallway. I walk into her room and don’t see her. “Hello?”

  “I’ll be right out,” she answers from behind her bathroom door.

  “You don’t need to freshen up for me, sweetheart,” I call out as I sit down on the side of her bed and I hear her laugh. I don’t know why women feel they have to make themselves all pretty in order for a man to fuck them. Men are simple—they always want to have sex. They don’t care about your morning breath. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was why doggie style was invented. They don’t care if it’s winter and you haven’t shaved your legs in a week. They don’t care if you’re on your period—well, some men might draw the line there. I don’t. The dirtier the sex, the better.