by Dawn Steele
“You didn’t expect me to actually live down to my photo?”
She didn’t say anything but her deeper blush told him he had hit the truth.
“Let me guess . . . you were expecting Brad Pitt.”
She laughed. “Close, but younger.”
“Justin Bieber?”
This time, her laugh was hearty and real. He was glad he put her at ease. And he was charmed. Extremely so.
“Well,” he said, “what would you like to eat?”
She had forgotten about the menu in front of her.
“Oh, yes,” she exclaimed. She opened the menu and stared wonderingly at its contents. “Oh wow, it all looks so good.”
He sensed that she was also looking at the prices. Spago’s was a pricey joint – one she had probably never been to on her student’s allowance. He leaned back as she perused it. He knew she was loathe to suggest anything because everything was beyond her level of affordability.
He said gently, “I come here quite often, and if you would permit me to make some suggestions?”
“Oh, yes, please,” she said, relieved.
He ordered two different starters and entrees for them so she could try new things – a crispy salad with duck comfit and a prawn avocado mélange, a chicken tikka fusion with fire roasted baby potatoes and greens and a medium-rare Wagyu rib-eye. He also ordered two different kinds of wine – a white for the starters and a Bordeaux for the main courses.
As they waited for their orders to come, they fenced and skirted, getting to know each other.
“My parents couldn’t afford to send me to college,” she said shyly, “and so I tried for a scholarship. I had to write this one thousand-word essay about what it’s like to be broke. They made me write it because that’s what I put down on the application form when I asked for a scholarship – the fact that my parents were broke.”
“Are your parents broke?” Kyle’s parents never had been broke his entire life and so he couldn’t imagine the situation.
“Yes. My Dad lost his job in the recession five years ago and he couldn’t find another one. My Mom worked in a glove factory and she had an accident, and so she has been claiming disability ever since. With three kids, it isn’t easy to make ends meet on whatever support we got.”
“I see.”
Careful, he warned himself. It was so easy to sympathize with her. No emotional involvement, remember?
He said, “But it’s admirable how you got the scholarship.”
She nodded happily. “I know. I was told that several hundred people were going for it. It was a miracle I actually got it.”
“What did you write about?”
“About what it’s like being poor,” she said. “For one, when you have a bit of money, you splurge like there’s no tomorrow. Like last Christmas. We received a check from the welfare department. Dad went on a shopping spree to get us all the things we wanted for Christmas that he couldn’t get us for a long time. And then he bought presents for everyone we knew. At the end of it all, we had nothing left.”
The first thing he’d do if he was poor was to save the money.
“Why is that?” he said curiously.
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because my parents thought they’d denied us the good stuff for too long. And when you’re poor, you eat a lot of canned and processed food because they keep better than fresh stuff, which can be expensive. But I know now that the canned stuff contains a lot of fats, and so that’s why my whole family is so fat, I guess.”
She tossed off a sad little laugh.
Funny, but he never saw it that way. He never equated being poor with being fat and unhealthy, and certainly not with Christmas binging. He now understood why she could be dazzled by Spago’s and what he had just ordered for the two of them.
“I don’t think you’re fat,” he said, keeping his face blank.
“Of course I am.”
“In Papua New Guinea, you would be on the lean side, I’m afraid. The ‘fat’ definition is a conundrum. Human beings actually possess the fat gene to store energy should there ever be a famine. So what was essential for the human race is now frowned upon and denigrated as a joke.”
“Unfortunately, there isn’t a famine right now and my BMI tells me I’m overweight.”
“Overweight does not equate obese.”
“It isn’t exactly very healthy either.”
“Neither is being underweight. But let’s not talk about weight in the presence of our starters, which are looking sinfully delicious, I might add.”
Their starters arrived. Everything was new to Jessica, and so he reveled in letting her taste everything.
“Everything is so good,” she gushed.
“I know.”
He liked playing Santa Claus. He liked watching her enjoy her food and he felt really good that he could share this with her.
Well, don’t feel too good. It’s not going to last.
It was her turn to ask him questions. He had rehearsed what he was going to say in the mirror. Because of what would happen, he had to give her part truth and part lies. This was the most difficult part, because he had to remember exactly what he had told her.
“So are you out of college already?” she said.
“Yes. I went east. Just finished my degree and I’m back here now to join the family business.”
“What’s the family business?” She seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself with him and finding him easy to talk to.
“Real estate, among other things. My Dad buys and refurbishes old houses to sell them for a profit.”
My Dad would really like to meet you, but that is for another day.
“And your Mom?”
Careful. Not too much of the truth, just in case she told a friend who could put two and two together.
“She died when I was little. Cancer.”
“Oh.” Her face fell and she put down her fork. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. But there was nothing the doctors could do. It ate up her pancreas, and it was merciful she went so quickly.”
Their entrees came and the talk shifted to other things.
She said hesitantly, “You mentioned your Mom was a big, beautiful woman.”
Did he? Right. He did. That part was true.
“Yes, she was.”
Jessica raised her eyes shyly to his. “Is that why . . . you don’t mind being seen with me?”
Her lack of self-confidence astounded him. And not in a bad way, but an empathetic one. He remembered how his mother seemed to have issues as well, but not with being a BBW. She had issues with her hallucinations and delusions and what lurked beneath the house.
A surge of something protective and warm came over him towards Jessica.
“I would be seen with you anytime,” he said truthfully and somewhat a little fiercely. “Don’t bring this up again. Please. We have spent most of our conversation so far talking about weight in one form or another. It isn’t a problem for me and it never will be. So I’m not going to bring it up if you don’t. Got that?”
She smiled, her eyes shining, and nodded. He didn’t know it then, but that was the moment a bond was forged between the two of them.
A bond he didn’t realize would be so potent and destructive until later.
DREAM GUY
Kyle was everything Jessica had dreamt of and more.
She had never honestly met anyone who was so easy to talk to, Lyla included. With Lyla, she had to skirt over some issues sometimes because Lyla got so worked up about everything. But Kyle was the type of person she felt immediately at ease with.
To borrow an old cliché, there was an instant chemistry between them.
So she had gotten the elephant in the room out of the way. He didn’t care about the way she looked. Of course, he doesn’t! He met you on a BBW dating website, didn’t he? And he was every bit as gorgeous as his photo was. Even more so, because the person himself glowed with a vitality which could not be captured by pixels
alone.
When he laughed, his eyes crinkled. He smiled often, and it was heavenly to see. His eyes were so blue that she couldn’t stop catching her breath over them. Can he be real? He’s so gorgeous! And he’s here with me.
ME!
She had to keep pinching herself to assure this wasn’t a dream.
As the evening wore on, she told him more and more about herself and her family. He was genuinely interested in everything she had to say. She told him about Lyla.
“She was always the one who defended me in school. I don’t know what I could have done without her.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’d do pretty well,” he said. “Humans have a coping mechanism to get them through life. You would have adapted in one way or another.”
“How do you know so much about humans?”
“I minored in Psychology. It was the subject I loved best, but my father wanted me to go into something related to real estate.” He shrugged.
“Did you resent that?”
“No. It was my – ” he hesitated “ – wish to honor my father’s wishes.” He composed his features again and she sensed that he had instinctively wanted to use another word. “It’s OK, really. Architecture would have been my second choice.”
Again, she sensed the wistfulness in his voice, as though he didn’t really have a choice in what he wanted to do in life.
“Are you the eldest son?” she asked.
“Yes. Fortunately and unfortunately.” He laughed. “But enough about me. I want to know more about you. Any boyfriends?”
She blushed. “If I did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Obviously.” His eyes twinkled. “I meant before this.”
“No.”
“Seriously? Not even one?”
She shook her head.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, right? Who did you go to the prom with?”
“Myself. I went to a public school where the girls were always in one clique or another. Lyla and I didn’t quite fit, but at least she fit better than I did. She was always so smart and pretty, and so she got a date to the prom. When I didn’t, she asked me to tag along, much to her date’s chagrin. Lyla spent equal time with me and her date even though I told her I’d be OK. Needless to say, her date didn’t ask her out again.”
Jessica was actually mortified by the whole incident, even though Lyla assured her that not dating basketball Bradley ‘I want to get into every girl’s panties before graduation’ Turner was no loss.
Kyle grinned. “That’s some best friend.”
“I know.” She cocked her head. “You have a best friend like that?”
“I did. Once. But he left to go to college and he never came home. He’s marrying a girl back east. So it’s only me again.”
“Girlfriends?”
“A few. But no one who lasted, and certainly no one I’d like to hook up with again.”
“Why?”
“I guess I was too young. I didn’t know what I wanted.”
“You’re still young. Maybe you still don’t know what you want.” A wistfulness stung her voice. Maybe you think you want a big, beautiful woman, but it’s just a phase you’re going through.
“Oh trust me. I do know what I want.”
He looked right into her eyes when he said this and she felt goose bumps.
Dinner ended with chocolate pavlova and passion fruit ice cream. It was the best meal Jessica had ever tasted, and it was certainly the best date she ever had. Dates were something to be dreaded for most part because they would inevitably lead to disaster and a no call back. But she was enjoying herself so much that she didn’t even register the passing of time until she realized that all the tables around them were empty and the waiters were giving them politely significant glances.
“Oh! It’s eleven o’ clock,” she exclaimed.
“Why? Do you turn into a pumpkin at midnight?” he teased.
“No. It’s just that I have never stayed up so long on a date before.” She remembered all those times her ‘dates’ had ended early – because neither of them could continue for the embarrassment.
“It doesn’t have to end. We just need to stop for bedtime and then pick up where we left tomorrow. Tomorrow’s Saturday. What do you say to a picnic in the park?”
She knew where he was heading. Loves walking in the park . . .
“Yes,” she said delightedly. She blinked, afraid to wake up from this dream. He was asking her for a second date! No one ever asked her for a second date!
“Good. I’ll drop you home and then pick you up tomorrow at ten. Or do you need more beauty sleep?”
“No! Ten is fine.”
“Great.”
He signaled the waiter for the bill. When it came, he paid with cash. She was amazed that the bill came up to several hundred dollars.
“That’s too much,” she said in dismay. No one had ever spent so much to be with her before and she was beginning to experience the pangs of guilt.
“Not at all. Family business, remember?”
Gallantly, he rose and pulled out her chair for her. She was so petrified that she would slip or knock over something and spoil this lovely evening. To her chagrin, she hadn’t even gone to the ladies’ at all. Lyla must be gnawing her fingernails off with curiosity.
But oh, she had so much to tell! And so much to look forward to!
*
Kyle drove a distinctive black Mustang. Jessica had never been in a Mustang before and she had to refrain from surreptitiously touching the gleaming wood paneled interiors and the leather seats.
On the way, she chatted to Kyle about her life in college, her professors and her subjects. He was always interested, never seeming to appear bored in what might seem a mundane life. He asked a lot of questions which indicated that he was clearly following her babble.
Jessica had never been so elated in all her life.
He stopped outside her college dorm and paused. She had no idea what to do. She had never gone so far on a date before. That very fact was extremely embarrassing.
Kyle was smiling. In the shadows thrown by the streetlamps, his profile was as well-cut as a coin’s. Jessica thought he resembled something from a more chivalrous age where women were celebrated for their femininity and beauty and considered precious beyond compare.
“We’re here,” he said.
“Yes, we are.” She hesitated. Would he kiss her? Or would he consider it too forward on a first date? Whatever it was, she couldn’t sit here the whole night. “Uh, I guess I better be going.”
“Wait,” he said.
He opened his car door and came around the side to open the passenger door for her. A delicious thrill coursed through her. She could live like this forever.
“My lady.” He smiled.
And yes, she could fall in love with him too. But I can’t! Not right now, when he could still dump her after the picnic.
He gave her his hand to help her out of the car. When she touched his flesh, tingles flowered in her palm. Gawd! It was all she could do to prevent herself from swooning. His face was very close to hers. He was very tall and she had to crane her neck upward to gaze at his face, shrouded in the half-light.
“Tomorrow,” he said.
“Tomorrow,” she breathed.
She wondered if he would kiss her. She had only been kissed by a boy once, and that was a middle school prank on chubby Ted Granger, who was promised a cheat copy of a Chemistry essay if he planted a kiss on her lips. Oh, oh, oh, but the air between Kyle and her crackled with electricity, and all her nerves were strained in anticipation. Will he? Won’t he? Will he? Won’t he?
He broke the spell.
“Goodnight, Jessica.” He smiled, and maybe it was the lack of light, but she thought he looked a little rueful.
“Goodnight, Kyle.”
He let go of her hand. Disappointment flooded her. Of course he won’t kiss you! It’s your first date! He’s not that kind of guy! And another unbidden thought. He doesn’t
want to kiss you because he finds you unattractive. No, no, no, but then he wouldn’t be asking her out for a picnic!
She tried to stem the tide of old fears bubbling to the surface like gas, but you could never really turn your back on so many years of repressed memories and embedded shame.
He strode to his car. His eyes lingered on her face.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jessica. Don’t forget.”
As if she would! “I won’t. I’ll wait for you.”
He got into his car, still smiling, turned on his engine, and drove off. She watched his car disappear into the night.
She missed him already.
THE PLAN
As Kyle drove off, Jessica’s face came swimming into his vision against the stark contrast of night. Her light perfume of lilacs was still fresh in his nostrils. He wanted to kiss her so badly just now. Every part of his body was twitching and yearning to be with her.
She’s human. How can I want to be with a human so much? She is not my designated mate and she will never be.
And yet, there it was – that pervading, miraculous attraction he felt towards her.
It can’t be.
He had been massively attracted to human females before, of course. But he had always attributed it to his animal hormones. Werebears were attracted to both humans and other werebears alike, but when they took a mate, they mated for life. In the clan’s history, there had been only one ancestor who had taken a human female for mate. That ancestor had been banished from the clan and his name purged from clan records, which accounted for why Kyle couldn’t remember it.
But he had a task to complete, and by his father’s wishes, he would complete it.
If only she wasn’t so wonderful. He wondered if his father ever had such misgivings. Then again, he was not privy to his father’s machinations. All that was required was that the virgin be willing (and not coerced in any manner) when she first entered the house.
The rest would be up to his father.
Sometimes, he wondered why the rules were as they were. He was one of the few who actually questioned them in secret. Most of the time, he was asked to shut up or face the wrath of the Elders. But gad, Jessica was affecting him in the most primal of ways! He felt his crotch stiffening and his hand crept down to stifle it.
