by Dawn Steele
What’s the matter with me?
There was only one way to work it through.
He drove at top speed back to the woods of the Enclave. The woodlands here were copious and crowded, stretching over hilly regions and valleys alike. Jericho Atreides owned a large part of it and the rest was merged into government forest reserve. Here, the air was as fresh as the sweet pines which scented it and there was always glistening dew and squirrels and woodchuck in the undergrowth.
Here he could be free.
He parked the car at his usual spot under the moonlight. No one else was around, and he would know if someone was watching from afar anyway. He climbed out of the Mustang, took his clothes off and shifted. His facial bones changed. His limbs lengthened and thickened and hair sprouted out of his pores. His skeleton grew taller, much taller until he was almost double his human height.
The shadow he threw against the ground was now very different from the one he started the night out with.
Kyle put his nose into the air and sniffed. He wasn’t hungry because he just had dinner, but he caught a whiff of honey in the near distance. He loved honey. As a child, he had a significant craving for it, but it wasn’t until he came into his change that he really gave in to his temptations.
He broke into a run. He was extremely heavy and large – heavier than a grizzly because werebears tended to be even bigger than normal bears – but he was graceful for his bulk. He scented the honey in the nest which was wrapped around a tree branch like a parasite. Bees were buzzing around it angrily. Sensing that he was about to steal their honey, they launched their furry little bodies at him.
But a werebear’s fur was thick and long. Kyle took a lazy swipe at the nest despite the cloud of wrathful bees darting at him with their stingers. The nest broke and came apart, and he grabbed the honeycombs. He put one honeycomb into his large mouth and chomped on it happily.
A growl came from the undergrowth. Kyle had sensed the presence of the other werebear from far but chose to keep mum.
“Still gorging yourself on childhood simplicities, brother?” the other bear said.
Bears did not speak as per human speech but communicated through grunts, snarls and gestures.
“Simple childhood pleasures are sometimes necessary, younger brother,” Kyle replied. “They ground us in humility and nostalgic pursuit.”
“Not seemly behavior for a future alpha, some would say.”
“You know me. I like to carve my own niche in life.” Kyle held out a honeycomb. “Want some?”
“No thanks.”
His brother’s refusal of his gesture of friendship was not lost on Kyle. They had not been friends for a long, long time – not since Caleb perceived (rightly) at the tender age of ten that their father favored Kyle.
“Fine. More for me then.” Kyle turned his back on his brother and finished the honeycomb, though every sense of his was on the alert for his brother’s movements. This was one member of the family he could not trust, sad to say.
“Heard you went hunting tonight, brother.”
Kyle knew what he meant. “Not hunting. Dating.” Suddenly, he felt a frisson of fear for Jessica. OK, that’s irrational. He knew what would happen to her.
Caleb said, “Luring in the bait. Are you sure you’re up to the task?”
“What makes you think I’m not?”
Caleb laughed. In his bear form, this came out as a rumbling growl. “You never could rise to the real challenges. You’ve always been overprotected and over-coddled.”
“Depends on your perspective.”
“I’m just waiting to see you fail.”
“I hope you’re patient then because it’s going to be a long, long wait.”
A few bees swarmed over to the other werebear. Kyle finished sucking all the honey out of the honeycombs. He dusted away the bees clinging to his body and turned to his brother.
“I’ll take my leave now, thank you very much.”
“Why leave so soon? Have you feasted enough? Join me for a real kill, brother and perhaps I might consider you worthy.” Caleb smiled, showing bloodied teeth.
Kyle knew his brother was one of the few werebears who killed for sport. And he wasn’t sure if his brother’s bloodlust was contained to woodchucks and small furry animals.
“Not for me, and I’ll remind you again of our need to stay beneath the radar. Real ‘kills’, as you put it, will only compromise our secrecy. Goodnight.”
Kyle turned and lumbered away. He listened for his brother’s heavy footsteps but heard none.
When he returned to his car, he shifted again and became a naked crouching man in the moonlight. He could not help feeling relieved that his brother had not followed him. These confrontations were becoming tiring.
One day, he knew, his brother would not be content to just wait. His brother would be lurking in the shadows, waiting to make his move. One false step on his path, and his brother would pounce.
All for the honor of being Alpha.
PICNIC
The first thing Lyla did when Jessica came in through the door was to shriek loud enough to wake up the entire floor. Lyla rushed out of bed to embrace Jessica like a long lost sister.
“You’re home! I left you so many messages! I was so worried when you never called. What the hell happened?”
Jessica felt like she was in the middle of a whirlwind, but Lyla had that effect on people.
“Nothing happened. I mean, everything happened. It was great! He was great . . . and everything he said he would be. Oh . . . ” She sat down rather roughly on her bed, feeling lightheaded.
Lyla sat beside her. “I want to know everything. Everything!”
So Jessica recounted the events of the night, right up to the picnic invitation. Lyla screamed again, causing Jessica to shut her ears.
“Sssssh,” she said. “You’ll wake everyone up and there’ll be written complaints about us to the housing board.”
“I don’t care! This is the first real date you’ve had and I’m so happy everything is perfect. He’s a dream come true. Oh, can I meet him?”
“Lyla, I’ve just met him!” To be honest, Jessica was afraid to let Kyle meet Lyla. She was usually too ‘much’ for some people. And there was a tiny kernel within Jessica which was afraid that Kyle would find her best friend far more interesting and attractive.
Oh, don’t be ridiculous, another voice inside her said. He would have found plenty more girls who are prettier and more interesting than you outside this dorm room. But he still went on a date with you, didn’t he?
That was true.
But oh, everything is so madly incoherent right now. And she really needed to sleep. But her heart was still pounding and her brain was charged with excitement. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep all night just reliving the date.
Lyla didn’t seem to want to sleep either. So they spent the next few hours or so recounting the date until the first glimmer of dawn broke over the tops of the trees outside.
“Oh shit!” Jessica said. “We haven’t slept all night and he’s coming at ten to pick me up for the picnic in the park!”
“Shit! We have to get you ready. Are there rings under your eyes?” Lyla peered into her face. “Don’t worry. There’s nothing a little makeup can’t conceal.”
Jessica rushed off to have a shower. By nine, she was all fresh (well, as fresh as she could be) and dressed in a light-colored shirt and jeans. Her walking shoes were on her feet and Jessica was ashamed of how worn they were.
“Don’t worry,” Lyla said. “He won’t notice your feet. We’ll have to get you a whole new wardrobe.”
“I don’t think I can afford that. I’m on scholarship, remember?”
“Scholarship schmolarship. This is an investment in your future. I’ll give you the money myself if I have to sell my body.”
Jessica would be aghast if she didn’t understand her best friend’s manner of speech better.
Finally, with a flourish, Lyla t
ied a red scarf around her neck for embellishment.
“Oh, you look good enough to eat!” Lyla clapped her hands happily.
“I hope not.”
“I’ve honestly never seen you more alive before, Jess. I’m so happy for you.”
“I know.” I can only hope it will last, Jessica thought. “Now what do we do? We have one whole hour and I haven’t caught a wink of sleep last night.”
“We’ll talk some more about him,” Lyla suggested.
“Good idea!”
They were all talked out by the time Kyle drew up in his black Mustang. Jessica did not want Lyla to wait downstairs with her.
“He’ll be wondering what we’ll be up to. Please Lyla, I’ll let you meet him . . . but right now, it’s too soon.”
“Of course, I understand.” Lyla sounded a tad disappointed but she quickly masked it. “Go . . . now. Can I watch him from upstairs?”
Their room faced the road.
“OK, but don’t make it obvious.”
Just like last night, Kyle got out of the car and opened the passenger door for Jessica. He was smiling broadly.
“I was thinking of you last night,” he said as he helped her into the car.
Me too. All night. Thinking and talking about you. Jessica attempted a nervous laugh.
“All good, I hope.”
“It’ll make your toes curl, but hopefully in a good way.” He winked, got into his side and drove off.
Jessica stole a look back at the window of the room she shared with Lyla. Lyla was waving frantically and giving her a very obvious two thumbs up. Jessica had to suppress a laugh.
“Roommate and best friend?” Kyle said knowingly.
“Yes. She’s dying to meet you.”
Jessica was expecting him to say “I’m dying to meet her too after everything you’ve told me about her”, but Kyle merely said, “All in good time. I prefer to get to know you really well before meeting your friends, if you don’t mind.”
He said this winningly with a smile that was like a slice of heaven, so Jessica didn’t think anything of it other than what she wanted it to be.
He wants to get to know me better! It was so exhilarating and mind-bogglingly terrifying at the same time.
If she was afraid they had run out of things to talk about since last night, she needn’t be. Kyle was a superb conversationalist, steering their conversation to what he went through in college and his professors and stuff. His stories were all wildly interesting too, ranging from the mundane (“So I told my professor to shove it up his ass in a very nice way, because my essay was clearly an ‘A’ if I ever wrote one”) to things Jessica had never dreamt of (“and so we streaked throughout the campus in midwinter. Apparently, it was a rite of passage for freshmen”).
They went to Brandt’s Park, a large reserve of forestry and sprawling grassland with a lake in the center. There were different kinds of walks designed for people who wanted to do different activities – jogging paths, bicycle paths, an aerobic area with crossbars and trampolines, a reflexology area where you could walk barefoot on a large mat with raised bumps to massage your soles. The lake was also filled with little boats and extremely tame swans who were not allowed to be fed. Vendors selling ice-cream, hotdogs and souvenirs called out to passing people.
It was a very pleasant place to spend an afternoon in.
“So which walk do you want to do first?” Kyle said. “A hike through the forest? The long one or the short one? The long one will take about an hour and the short one about thirty minutes.”
Jessica had done neither. Whenever she came to Brandt’s Park, she was more used to taking a slow walk around the lake and sitting beside it to watch the happy couples stroll by amid the honking swans.
“The long one,” she said bravely because she didn’t want him to think she was a wuss.
“You sure?”
“Totally.”
They went on the long hike.
At first, Jessica found the going easy. The trees were broad and provided much shade from the sun, and the path was even.
“You OK?” Kyle said.
“No problem.”
Then the path ascended and got narrower.
“Let me go first,” Kyle said. “This way, I can watch out for potentially dangerous areas.”
She liked the way he took charge and she was content to follow his lead. She was glad too because the path did get steeper and more treacherous as it wounded up the hill. She started to get winded because she wasn’t that fit, really, and she tried to keep her increasingly harsh panting to a minimum so that he wouldn’t hear her. Now and then, a hiker would pass them going up or coming down.
It was getting damned difficult! Now she wished she had worn better shoes for trekking.
“You OK?” He turned back now and then.
“I’m OK,” she squeaked.
“No worries. There’s a guy selling water and bananas on the other side of the hill. I come here quite often.”
The other side of the hill! And they weren’t halfway up it yet!
At the top of the hill, he paused to let her rest. They seated themselves in a gorgeous little depression which overlooked a valley. In the near distance, the buildings of the suburbs were lighted up by the hot noon sun. Birds flitted in thick foliage of the trees overhead and the air was redolent with the scent of pine. Even though her thigh muscles were aching from the protracted climb, she felt healthier and better than she had in a long time.
“You know,” he said solemnly, “we can rest for a while longer if you want to. Not everyone is as used to hiking as I am.”
“I’m fine,” she said, even though her lungs were burning and she had to do her best not to gulp for air.
“You don’t have to put on a brave front for me. The first time I hiked up this hill, I thought my legs would fall off.”
She glanced at his face to see if he was serious. He was.
He nodded to affirm this. “It’s true. My father was coaxing me on and telling me that at the other side of the hill, there was ice-cream. And if I would just take one step further, and another step, there would be chocolate ice-cream with sprinkles and whipped cream waiting for me in a big, fat cone made of wafer and honey. And so I pushed myself. One step more, I told myself. And another. And another. I saw that ice-cream cone in my mind and that was how I got over the hill.”
“How old were you?”
“Nine.”
She wanted to laugh.
He added quickly, “There’s a moral here. The important thing is you don’t have to pretend to be someone else when you’re with me. If you don’t want to do the long hike, then you don’t want to do the long hike. You don’t have to do the long hike just because you think it’s something I’d like to do.”
“I’m OK, really,” she protested.
“No, you’re not. I’d say you need another twenty minutes of rest, at least.”
“Ten minutes.”
“Fifteen.”
This time she laughed. “How did you know I was struggling?”
“Your face is red all over and you were kind of heavy breathing all the way.”
“I was?” She was horrified. “Did I sound like a choo choo train?”
“Not quite. But I’m flattered. Every time a girl heavy breathes around me, I take it as a compliment.”
“Ohhhhh.” She flushed redder than ever.
“I know I’m irresistible.” When she didn’t say anything, he peered into her face. “Hello. Earth to Jessica. I meant what I said earlier about pretending. Don’t be someone else when you’re with me, OK? Say what you think. Do what you want.”
He paused for effect, and she held her breath.
“If I wanted to date someone else, I wouldn’t be here with you. You’re great the way you are, Jessica.”
He was so earnest that something in her chest expanded and swelled like a rush of a thousand birds. She had to blink back her tears.
“Hey, he said softly.<
br />
“Hey back,” she said in a small, muffled voice.
He leaned over. His face was very close to hers. Every fiber within her body was tense in heightened anticipation. She could smell his sweet, fresh scent of soap and healthy sweat, unadorned by aftershave. His eyes were so blue and beautiful that she was scared of being trapped in them forever.
His lips closed in upon hers. Her first kiss from a boy. Ohhhhhh!
His lips were so soft and yielding and they molded themselves onto hers so perfectly. She completely forgot to breathe. All her sensation was focused in those two wedges of flesh which formed her lips, and he puckered his own, sucking her in. She felt his hand go around her waist, and he was so warm, so gentle and so hard at the same time.
Her core went into mush and her legs turned into jelly. The sound of a soft kiss exploded in her ears.
He came up for air. She still couldn’t breathe.
“Was that nice?” he whispered.
Her vision swam from lack of oxygen. She took in a gulp of air.
“Y-yes.”
He smiled mischievously. “Then we should do it again.”
He leaned over and sealed his mouth over hers again. Another kiss that turned everything inside her into a mess of combustible emotions followed. And this time, his tongue probed into the crack between her lips.
Her first open-mouthed kiss!
Without being conscious of it, her lips parted to let him in. And it was heavenly! Such a smorgasbord of sensations. His tongue entwined itself with hers and explored, tentatively darting and tasting her mouth.
All the books she had read on being kissed by someone flew out of her mind’s window. Because this was unlike anything she had ever read. The sensation of being held by someone with such intimacy was astounding. She had never felt such a connection with anyone before. And this was just kissing. She marveled to think what it would be like if they went further.
His tongue explored the landscape of her mouth. It was sensuously erotic. Hungrily, her tongue inched forward past his to plunge into his mouth as well. He tasted of chocolate, actually, and she realized that was probably what he had for breakfast. Hot chocolate. He really did have a chocolate fetish.
