Learning to Live Again

by Taryn Plendl

“I got Rachel.” Chelsea smiled. “I have some ideas for her.”

  “Hey, tell me something ... what was the deal with the hair conversation last night?” Austin asked. The whole thing was still bothering him immensely.

  Chelsea took an audible breath before calmly answering. “I’m sorry, Austin, but that is really not my story to tell. I suggest you try to talk to Rachel about it if you really want to know.” She stood up and stretched her arms up over her head. “I think I’m going to get a shower, and see if I can drag my lazy husband out of bed to go shopping.” Chelsea patted Austin on the shoulder before disappearing into the condo, leaving him feeling just as lost as before.

  Chapter 5

  The condo was still rather quiet when Rachel woke up. She could hear soft voices coming from outside, and she was pretty sure one of them belonged to Austin. She wasn’t quite ready to talk to him. Frankly, she felt a bit embarrassed about her reaction to something as silly as her hair last night. Austin had asked a simple question, and even complimented her, yet she still managed to have a pity party and run away.

  Rachel pulled on a pair of leggings, a long crème sweater and UGGs. She was just about to descend the stairs when she heard the door to the balcony open and close. Pausing at the top of the stairs, she waited until the bedroom door directly below shut before continuing. Rachel found a piece of paper and wrote a quick note letting everyone know that she was heading out to the village to shop, and she would be back later.

  The sun was buried behind a sheath of clouds, making the sky look slightly dreary. The morning air was cold, and even though she could see her own breath as she exhaled, Rachel felt very alive.

  The village was beginning to show signs of life as she rounded the corner where a small coffee shop stood. After buying herself a large caramel macchiato and a chocolate croissant, Rachel continued down the cobblestone road. Several of the small shops were beginning to turn their signs to OPEN, as she headed nowhere in particular. It just felt really good to be out and moving in the fresh air.

  She needed to find a gift for Talia. When Rachel had finally woken up this morning, she found a slip of paper on her bedside table with a note from Trevor. They all had chosen names the night before, after Rachel had run off to hide from the skeletons in her closet. Talia would be easy to buy for, and even though she hadn’t known her for more than a couple years, she knew enough to be able to find something she would like.

  After wandering through the village for over three hours, Rachel still hadn’t found anything for Talia. She was beginning to get a bit hungry and had seen an adorable little restaurant down one of the side streets.

  Rachel was so distracted that she didn’t notice Austin until she practically bumped into him. “Oh! I didn’t see you,” Rachel gasped as Austin stood in front of her, smiling.

  “You looked pretty distracted.” Austin chuckled. “Where were you headed?”

  “I was trying to find this little café I saw earlier, but I forgot where it was.” Rachel bit her lip as she looked around, trying to figure out which direction to go.

  “Would you like some company?” Austin shuffled from foot to foot.

  “Yeah, I’d like that.” Rachel nodded. “I think it was down here. Are you hungry?”

  Austin followed Rachel. “I am actually.”

  The café turned out to be just around the corner. Austin and Rachel were seated outside where they could enjoy the view as well as people watch. The large heaters that were strategically placed kept them warm and comfortable.

  Rachel was about to ask Austin a question when she heard his phone buzz. She waited to see if he would ignore it and was a little disappointed when he automatically reached for it and began typing out a reply.

  Rachel let out a soft sigh and waited for him to finish. After his phone was placed back on his hip she began to talk. “Maybe you can help me pick out a gift. I got Talia.”

  Austin smiled. “Sure! In fact, the first day we were here she saw these turquoise earrings in one of the corner shops that she went on about for close to an hour. I think Tom was about to go back and get them just so she would shut up.” He chuckled right as their food arrived.

  “Mmm, this looks incredible.” Rachel took a bite of her sandwich and closed her eyes as she chewed. It tasted as good as it looked. When she opened her eyes, Austin was staring at her with a slight smile. “What?” She giggled.

  “Nothing. I was just wondering if you always enjoy your meals like that.” Austin continued to watch her.

  “I try to enjoy everything in my life. Life is too short. Plus, there is just something about a grilled cheese sandwich that just screams comfort food, don’t you think?” Rachel winked at him before taking another bite.

  Austin chuckled and started in on his own meal. Rachel laughed when Austin moaned a bit with his first bite. “See! I told you! There’s just something about grilled cheese that make you feel happy. Does yours have bacon on it?”

  “Yes. God, I love bacon.” Austin moaned again after taking another bite. Rachel wrinkled her nose. “You don’t like bacon, Rachel?”

  “Not really.” She shook her head.

  “Now that’s not right. People who don’t like bacon shouldn’t be trusted.” Austin shook his head in mock disgust.

  Rachel giggled. “Isn’t that a bit drastic?”

  “Maybe so.” Austin winked at her. “It’s good, but just hanging out with you today makes me just as happy.” Rachel blushed at his declaration.

  “Wow, that’s a lot considering your love for bacon.” Rachel winked back at him, causing him to laugh softly again.

  After they finished their lunch and Austin returned a few more messages on his phone, they made their way back to the shop where Talia had seen the earrings. It turned out there was a matching necklace, and Rachel ended up getting the set. The clerk wrapped it up, complete with a bow and they were on their way.

  “What now?” Rachel paused to take a deep breath of fresh air.

  “Want to take a ride up the mountain on the gondola?” Austin asked.

  “Ooh, yes!” Rachel couldn’t contain her excitement. She still wasn’t sure if she was going to get on skis this trip, and she didn’t want to miss the view from the top of the mountain.

  Austin took Rachel’s hand and walked toward the base of the mountain where they could get on. Rachel expected him to let go of her hand, but he didn’t, and she couldn’t help but love the way his large hand covered hers, sending a warmth straight through her. It had been so long since she had a boyfriend—or even a date—and she didn’t realize how much she missed it until now. If just holding hands made her feel like this, she wondered what it would be like to kiss him. She shivered with excitement at the thought.

  “Cold?” Austin asked.

  “No, I’m good.” Rachel smiled. There was no way she was going to tell him what made her shiver wasn’t the temperature at all.

  Austin purchased their tickets and then took Rachel’s hand again as they boarded the gondola. “There is a restaurant up top where we can get some hot chocolate and just enjoy the view,” Austin explained as they found a spot next to the side where they could look out. The view was amazing, and the beauty of it all mesmerized Rachel.

  “Oh wow! Look at that ridge over there.” Rachel pointed out the window. “It’s gorgeous! It almost doesn’t look real.” The way the sun shone on the snow, reflecting back like a ground cover of diamonds was unlike anything she’d ever seen before.

  Rachel turned and found that Austin was watching her again. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She blushed. The look in his eyes gave her chills. If she didn’t know better, she would have described it as desire.

  “I don’t know what it is, but there is something about the way you look at things. Not just the scenery, but everything. You just seem to find something beautiful in it all … I like it … a lot.” Austin rubbed his thumb over her hand where he still held it in his.

  Rachel’s stomach fluttered, and
she could feel the heat on her face. She knew she must be crimson in color right about now. “Thanks,” was all Rachel could manage at that moment without embarrassing herself. They rode the rest of the way in silence, but it was comfortable, almost like they had been doing this forever.

  Austin brought Rachel a cup of hot chocolate, setting it down on the small table next to where she sat.

  “Thank you.” Rachel picked it up and blew on it before she took a sip of the hot goodness. She was just about to ask him a question when his phone rang.

  “I need to take this, please excuse me.” Austin stood up and walked over to the rail, talking into his phone. Rachel sighed and turned back to the view. She was frustrated. She wanted to know more about him, but he never seemed to be completely engaged in the present. She figured Austin’s job must be very important, otherwise you would think he would have let the work calls go to voicemail.

  Rachel had almost finished her hot chocolate when Austin finally returned. “I’m sorry,” he said as he, too, finished off his drink. Rachel could feel the cold right through her short, thin hair, and she was kicking herself for not bringing a hat. “Do you mind if we head back down?” Rachel asked as a shiver ran through her, this time because of the temperature and the prominent wind that was present at the higher elevation.

  “Sure, you getting cold?” Austin took their cups and put them in the trash before pulling Rachel into his side, wrapping his arm around her waist.

  “A bit. The wind is stronger up here. I probably should have brought a hat,” she explained.

  “Come on, let’s get you down this mountain.” Austin kept his arm around her until they boarded the next gondola going down. He then placed her in front of him and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Rachel couldn’t help but lean into his warmth.

  It was close to five o’clock by the time they reached the village below and began walking back in the direction of the condos. As they walked, Austin noticed a small ice skating rink where couples and children were spinning and skating, laughter ringing out. “That looks fun.” Austin grinned at the slippery block of ice.

  “I’m not so sure about that.” Rachel laughed. She wasn’t coordinated enough to be able to spin and twirl while remaining in an upright position.

  Austin chuckled as he slipped her hand back into his and continued on their way. The fountain that was out in the courtyard of the condos was lit up in color changing bulbs. The sun had begun to set when Austin pulled Rachel to a stop, looking at her like she was something he craved. It made her stomach clench. Austin cupped her face in his hands, rubbing his fingers over her cheeks as he leaned in. Rachel knew he was going to kiss her, and the excitement was almost too much to bear. She let her eyes flutter shut, anticipating the moment she would feel his soft warm lips to hers.

  “Damn!” Austin pulled back when his phone rang again. “I need to take this, give me just a minute.” Rachel watched him walk away, talking into his phone again. It was almost like his world stopped every time that damn phone rang.

  Austin had his back to her, completely unaware that she had reached the point when she didn’t want to play second to a small piece of technology. He was so engrossed in his conversation that he didn’t even notice when Rachel slipped away.

  Chapter 6

  This was not your typical Christmas morning. Everyone seemed to need extra sleep, so it wasn’t until around ten in the morning when the first person materialized in the kitchen. By the time Austin showed up, coffee had been brewed and Rachel, who, by the way she was bending over removing three pans of cinnamon rolls from the oven, caused Austin to bite back a groan.

  They still had not spoken about yesterday evening. When Austin had finished with his call, Rachel was gone. The day had been almost perfect, and he had been thanking his lucky stars when he had stumbled onto Rachel in that store. They had spent the day together, buying gifts for their respective persons, and enjoying getting to know each other.

  Rachel was still a bit of a mystery to Austin. He knew there were things she wasn’t sharing with him, and he could sense a bit of sadness in her, but all in all she was just flat out intriguing to him. She had a love for life that was so natural and genuine, and he had a hard time not watching her in awe as she experienced things around them like she had never seen them before. The day had been sad, then happy, then funny, and finally, ended as a bad day. It was seriously bipolar, and Austin knew the reason it had ended the way it did was because he didn’t know when to let go.

  There should have been no reason for Austin to answer that phone call. It had been past office hours in New York and on Christmas Eve, nonetheless, but old habits die hard, and somewhere along the way, Austin had become so self-involved he had forgotten basic manners. Frustration had taken over, and Austin was now seriously kicking himself for doing what he had always done—putting his work first. He had been so close to kissing Rachel’s beautiful lips. This time Austin actually did groan out loud with the thought of what that kiss might have been like, how the night might have ended so differently with Rachel in his arms. His groan was louder than anticipated. Several eyes turned toward him, including Rachel’s. He could have been mistaken, but he swore he saw a hint of a smile on her face before she turned back around to finish what she was doing.

  “Everything okay, cousin?” Talia nudged Austin as she looked back and forth between him and Rachel.

  “Yes, but I kinda screwed up yesterday,” Austin whispered to her.

  “Is there someone you need to apologize to?” Talia asked.

  “I think so.” He nodded.

  “Well, make sure you do that. Apologizing isn’t a sign of weakness, Austin, it just means you value someone else’s feelings more than your pride.” She smiled. “I think you might be in uncharted territory, am I right?”

  “Oh shit, Talia, you have no idea.” Austin chuckled as he grabbed a plate to dish up a few of those decadent rolls.

  ***

  Austin leaned back, taking in the disaster of paper and ribbons around their homemade decorated tree. Everyone had loved their gifts, and it seemed that Christmas was a huge success. The girls were getting ready to start a few things for the dinner later on, and Austin wanted to pull Rachel aside to apologize before she got too far.

  He glanced over at her, taking in how delicate she was. On her lap sat a beautiful cashmere hat and scarf in the same green as her eyes that she was absentmindedly rubbing between her fingers. Austin had a feeling it would make her already beautiful face even more irresistible. He was also happy she had a new hat, remembering the day before how cold her head had gotten after the snow had started falling. He was just about to approach Rachel when Ava stood up.

  “Um, there is one more thing we wanted to share with you all.” Ava and Trevor glanced around the room at their best friends. “We wanted to let you all know that we are going to have a baby.” She bit her lip and then grinned in her excitement, practically bouncing on her feet.

  “You bitch, I knew it!” Talia jumped up, pulling Ava into her arms. “You always drink with me, and don’t think I didn’t notice you were drinking plain cranberry juice the other day.” They hugged and laughed together.

  Ava laughed. “Yep, Trevor’s going to be a daddy, and I’m pretty sure it’s mine!” All of the girls surrounded Ava, laughing, hugging, and touching her belly, full of congratulations.

  Austin shook Trevor’s hand. “Congratulations, man.”

  Tom pulled Trevor into a hug, patting him on the back, but the shocker for the day was when Nick came up and patted Trevor’s crotch and said, “Good job!”

  The look on Trevor’s face was priceless, and Nick was smart enough to back off before taking the time to laugh.

  “I’m going to say thank you this once, but I swear, Nick, if you ever touch my balls again, I’m going to kick your ass!” Trevor was cracking up. Leave it to Nick to do something like that.

  Chelsea just shook her head. “Don’t be jealous, guys, he’s all mine.”
Nick pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. “Don’t you forget it, baby.”

  While everyone was talking over each other, Austin took the moment to approach Rachel. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” She nodded and followed him out to the balcony. Austin led her over to the fire that Tom had built before they had all opened presents.

  Austin ran his hands over his face and sighed. “I wanted to apologize for my rudeness last night. I have a bad habit of putting work before everything else in my life.” He took a deep breath. “Usually it isn’t an issue, but I seem to have found myself in unchartered territory here.”

  “What do you mean?” Rachel asked.

  “Well, for the first time, I have found something I want to put before work.” Austin sat down next to Rachel. “I had the best time with you yesterday, and I don’t know what all this is, or if it is even anything, but I do know that I want to know more about you. I want to spend more time with you, and I really want to do what I almost did yesterday before we were so rudely interrupted.” Austin waited for Rachel to process everything he had said, and when she smiled and nodded so slightly, he didn’t wait for her to change her mind.

  He placed his hands along the sides of her face and leaned in, brushing his lips ever so gently against hers. When he pulled back, they both smiled before he took her lips in an all-consuming kiss. Her lips were so soft against his, and the small sigh and whimper she let out pushed him along. Their lips moved against each other’s like a well choreographed dance. When Austin felt her tongue against his lips, he moaned, opening his lips and inviting her in. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there lost in each other until they heard a throat being cleared behind them.

  “When you’re done, the girls could use Rachel’s help.” Trevor stood stiffly at the door, taking in the sight before him. Rachel giggled and squeezed Austin’s hand before heading inside. Trevor walked forward and took a seat. “Have a seat, Austin.”

  Austin took a deep breath and prepared himself for God-knows-what from Rachel’s big brother.